The Monkey Is In.

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I'm a writer of horror and dark fiction. I've been doing this since 1999 and believe me when I say, it's cheaper than therapy and safer for the world at large.

Filtering by Tag: The Ordinary

Morgue Drawer March 2019

Not sure why I thought it had been longer than three months since my last MD, but it seems I’m right on track for my quarterly posting. Yay, me!

For anyone new here, this is basically the post where I talk about my garbage. I’ve used up these products, so I can give you a good idea on their performance, and if I enjoyed them. Hope it’s educational! (Also pretty sure most, if not all, of these products are Cruelty Free!)

DEBRIS

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Paul Mitchell Platinum Blonde Shampoo: Technically, I haven’t used this up completely. I emptied this bigger bottle into a travel sized one. It’s a purple shampoo, and was great when I stopped coloring my hair and went with my natural salt and pepper. It made my greys look a little lavender, and not so brassy. I highly recommend it for that. And now that my hair is red and purple, I won’t mind using this when I travel.

Hask Chia Seed Dry Shampoo: I enjoy the Hask brand dry shampoos a lot. This was one that didn’t look powdery, or like I dumped a kilo of cocaine on my head. But it wasn’t that great as a dry shampoo. Did work really well to add texture so it was easier to style my hair or get it to stay in place.

Babyganics Baby Wipes: I get these at my local grocery store (Value Center). But you can get them at Target, Kroger, Amazon, Walmart, etc. I love them for cleaning off swatches, or just cleaning off eye shadow fall out on my cheeks. The cloths themselves are soft but, as with any wipe, the liquid burns a little bit. But I don’t mind using them for clean up.

Tom’s of Main Maximum Sensitive Toothpaste: I’ve been using this for years. It’s the only toothpaste that works really well for me. AND I don’t get the mouth-peeling issue like I do with every other brand. Apparently, it’s a thing that a small percentage of the population experiences with sensitive toothpaste. It’s weird and kinda gross, but at least it doesn’t hurt.

LIKE BUTTAH

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Soap & Glory Righteous Body Butter: I love S&G body butters, but the scent on this one is a little heavy. Kind of like Lilies of the Valley, but on crack. I’d love to get the Sugar Crush scent again, but I don’t think they make it anymore. The link will take you to Ulta where you can look at all the other scents available. If you want something that will stay on your skin and keep you moist (uh….) you need to get a S&G body butter.

Nature’s Truth Sweet Almond Oil: I got this at Meijers (but you can get it at a lot of places) to mix with some essential and/or perfume oils the hubby got me. My feet, and toe nails particularly, love this stuff. The rest of my body ain’t complaining, either.

MY SKIN WOULD MAKE A GREAT LAMPSHADE

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Mario Badescu Facial Spray (Rose and Lavender): I’ve been using the rose spray for years, but once I realized it contained some artificial stuff, I’m now trying something else. But it is nice, and the lavender one was also a nice spray to use before bed. Not too strongly scented, so if you’re sensitive to lavender, this might be okay for you.

The Ordinary Buffet Serum: Also used this for years, but after a while, it doesn’t seem to do much for me any more. But if you’re looking for some new skin care, that doesn’t cost the same as a car payment, you should check out The Ordinary.

The Ordinary Hyaluronic Acid Serum: With winter, I wanted to add a little more moisture into my skin. I’m not dry dry, but I’m not as oily as I used to be. This didn’t really do much, though.

Botanics Nourishing Facial Oil: Nice smelling oil, but it broke me out. So I ended up using it on my neck and chest (or decolletage for you fancy-ass folks) and it was wonderful.

Formula 10.0.6 Picture Perfect Day Moisturizer: I’m still digging this stuff. Nice moisturizer that takes a few minutes to sink in, but it’s worth the wait. That little bit of SPF is nice, too.

That’s it for now! See you again in a few months with more garbage.

Morgue Drawer End of 2018

Finally getting around to writing up this post so I can throw all my garbage away! For those who don’t know, I write up a quick little review of products I’ve used up over the past months to give you a better idea how things worked, or didn’t, for me. Hopefully a little more in-depth than the PDs, MEHs, and GFYs, because some of that shit made me so angry that I tried to burn it all after the first use.

So here we go, wrapping up 2018, by taking a stroll through my trash. Enjoy!

MY SKIN WOULD MAKE A GREAT LAMP SHADE

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H20+ Oasis Hydrating Treatment: Really nice moisturizer. I love a good gel formula, and it worked well for my skin. But this brand is way too pricey for me!

Pacifica Cactus Revive Face Wash: Meh. The smell was nice but the texture was so runny, it made a mess all over the cap and tube. As I got closer to the end of the tube, the product got grittier, which is bizarre. I didn’t finish it off before throwing it away. (And they don’t sell this one anymore….of course, they don’t.)

Elisha Coy Moist Up Super Hyalurone Ampoule Serum: I really like this serum. Smells good, absorbs well, and it might be a little better than The Ordinary Buffet serum (which stays tacky on the skin and recently started breaking me out.) I got mine at CVS, but it’s not always in stock.

Formula 10.0.6 So Totally Clean Micellar Water: Not a good product. Burns the eyes like hell, and it doesn’t remove all makeup. Skin didn’t really feel clean after using it.

Soap & Glory Fab Pore Purifying Foam Cleanser: I really liked this. Smelled nice and clean, if that makes sense. Worked great until I got to the last inch or so in the bottle. Then it didn’t seem to work as well, plus the pump on the bottle broke.

The Body Shop Aloe Cream Cleanser: Loved this. Gentle cream cleanser and no heavy smell.

Mario Badescu Rose Facial Spray: I still enjoy this, though just recently I watched a review about how this isn’t as great for the skin as other sprays because of the dyes and filler ingredients. Dammit.

The Ordinary Squalene Face Oil: My skin loves this stuff so much better than rose hip oil, which spoils much quicker and remains heavy on the skin. Squalene absorbs fast, and has no smell!

Nip & Fab Moisturizer: This was decent but smelled a little too heavy of sunscreen. (this is no longer available.)

Derma E Rose Cleansing Oil: Smells nice but didn’t do a good job of cleaning off anything.

Ariul Bamboo Water Mask: LOVED this. Super soft mask and my skin felt great, even the next day. I want to get all 7 days worth of them.

Formula 10.0.6 Day/Night Cream: Still my go-to moisturizers.

DEBRIS

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Mitchum Gel Deoderant: Pretty good, but the gel took FOREVER to dry, and still left white marks. Trying the solid sticks now, and I like those so much better.

Giovanni 2Chic Intensive Hair Mask: Loved this mask/heavy conditioner. Super thick and really helped my bleached hair look smooth, and feel soft. I can’t find the Ultra-Repair one anymore, just the regular Repair. Still works well, just not as thick.

Marc Anthony Argan Oil Hair Spray: Still love this stuff. Smell is really nice, and it’s just a soft hold hairspray, which I enjoy.

Maui Moisture Heal and Hydrate Hair Mask: This was almost as good as the Giovanni stuff. Smelled fantastic! The tub is a bit messy, though.

Tom’s of Main Maximum Sensitivity Toothpaste: Still love this stuff; only sensitive toothpaste that works for me. I usually get mine at Meijers or Vitamin Shoppe.

Purple Cat Apothecary Body Butter (Winter Rose): I like the texture of the body butter, but the scent on this was too heavy with honey and very little rose. (Store no longer exists.)

ZOMG Smells Perfumes (Lola’s New Dress and Hyang-Su): I love so many of the scents I’ve purchased from this store. These got too old and started to smell more like alcohol, so I had to get rid of them. Sugar Dragon is one of my favorite scents!

Lavanila Pure Vanilla Perfume: THE BEST VANILLA PERFUME EVAR!!!

BEAT THAT MUG

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NYX Vivid Liner (Silver): So much fun! But like their Vinyls liners, this dried out so fast. I’d be willing to get it again, but they no longer sell this shade. Fuck me.

Babyganics Face/Hand/Baby Wipes: I get these at my local Value Center super market, but looks like you can get them at Target, too. They are great for wiping off swatches, clearing eye shadow fall out on my cheeks, or a quick clean of my hands before starting makeup application. No scent, which is really nice.

Catrice Prime & Fine Multitalent Fixing Spray: I LOVE THIS SETTING SPRAY. Gives my face a nice glow and melds with my highlighter beautifully, which I love. Been wanting to try their glowy version (how much more shiny can I get??) but it’s always sold out!

ELF Lip Exfoliator (pink grapefruit): This is a great exfoliator in a non-messy package/delivery system. This one just got too old before I could use it up.

Milani Lip Gloss: This was one of my favorite lip glosses. It’s so old, though, that the name is worn off, and Milani doesn’t make it anymore. Sheer pink with gold shimmer. Absolutely gorgeous. Smelled like candy, too! But it finally went “off” so I had to toss it.

Tarte Smooth Operator Finishing Powder: This was perfect for setting my under eye concealer. Finely milled, it never looked heavy or cakey. Took me forever to get through this little sample!

Urban Decay Primer Potion: Meh. Not sure why everyone loves this eye primer so much. It’s kinda dry, and doesn’t work any better than any drug store, lower cost one (like Milani.)

Ulta Brow Tint: Love this product, but this shade was a bit light for me. Will get the dark brown when I use up another one I’ve got open now.

Tarte Lights Camera Lashes Mascara: Still one of my favorite mascara formulas of all time. But it will either come in a mini like this, or will go on sale. Never buy this at full price!

Catrice Pret-a-Volume Mascara: It was…okay. More natural looking than volume boosting. Which is fine but not what it advertises. Not sure if the link I put is to the exact same mascara, but looks close enough.

Essence Precise Eyeliner Brush: I love these. Super thin so you can get a precise line with any kind of medium (gel, powder, etc.) They’re $2. I have three back ups right now.

All righty. That’s it for 2018. Hope to see you all next year!

PDs, MEHs, and GFYs 2018 Year End

Again…gah. I haven’t done one of these for MONTHS, but I hope to get back into a regular schedule for 2019. For those who are new, instead of doing the generic “Likes and Dislikes” or “Fails and Favorites,” I call my list of crap I liked and hated as “Panty Droppers, Mehs, and Go Fuck Yourselves.”

Enjoy.

PDs

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Tarte Rainforest of the Sea Foundation: I don’t usually spend my money on high-end makeup. Tarte is the exception. I prefer light coverage foundations, if I wear them at all, and this is perfection. It lasts all day on me and looks as good at the end of the day, as it did after first application. I had to get a new bottle, though, because my previous one expired before I could use it up. Right now I have Fair-Light Neutral, but I probably could switch to Fair Beige (they came out with a few new shades since I first bought it.)

Stila Huge Extreme Lash Mascara: I got this as a sample in one of my Ulta orders this year. And I didn’t want to like it because Stila is one of those high-end brands. But DAMMIT! This stuff makes my lashes look long, thick (rowr) and gorgeous.

A’Pieu Finger Blusher: This came in a 3B subscription bag (aaaaaages ago.) I can’t believe how long it lasted. The smell just started to go off, so I had to toss it. But if I can find this again, I would repurchase. Perfect cream blush - blends out beautifully, and the peach shade I had was very natural. One of the best blushers I’ve ever used. I don’t think they make it anymore, but YesStyle has a ton of A’Pieu products, so maybe one of the blushes in there will work as well…?

Lunatik Cosmetic Labs Lipstick in Lacrimosa: This has been one of my favorite shades of lipstick in a long time. The description from their website: Lacrimosa is a translucent shade with a pink hue packed with a kaleidoscope of color shifting sparkles. I got it back in 2014, I think, at a convention. Unfortunately, the bullet completely dried up and it’s now impossible to get any pigment out of it. Which makes me incredibly sad. So I guess I’ll have to go get another one!

I forgot to include these babies in the PDs pic above, so they’ll get special treatment. I know a lot of people don’t like the metallic lip look, because it makes the lips appear older/aged. Personally, I don’t care. I love how shiny the Metal Shock is (shade: Mercury,) and the Vibrant Shock (shade: Nightstalker) is just a gorgeous shock of color. Obvi.

The Vibrant Shock seems a teeny streaky at first, but you can definitely work with it to look just fine on the lips. These do dry down, but don’t become transfer proof. They’re just a titch sticky, but not the “sweet baby Jesus it’s gonna be 10 minutes before my lips separate!” kind of sticky.

MEHs

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Wet n Wild Tour & Tease Lip Balm: It’s a nice soft wash of color, but sooooo drying. This might be one of those multi-use products (lips and cheeks) and, if so, that explains the dryness. Never has any dual product felt nice on either part of the face. Blech.

The Ordinary Serum Foundation: I love the thin consistency and light coverage; the shade is pretty good, too. But it makes my skin look like a 4000-year old papyrus notebook found in some Egyptian angsty teenager’s sarcophagus. Ugh.

BH Cosmetics Naturally Flawless Foundation: Really good coverage and a nice shade. But, again, makes my skin look super dry, and my pores appear the size of Iowa. Ah….no thanks.

Catrice Glam and Doll False Lashes Waterproof Mascara: I wanted to try the waterproof version of this because the regular version makes my lashes so long, the product transfers all over the damn place. This isn’t quite that good, PLUS it’s nearly impossible to remove. Hence, the reason I rarely wear waterproof makeup.

Essence Lash Princess Sculpted Volume Mascara: I love the original one (pink details) but this was just okay. The real problem is that it’s thick and gloopy, and never really dries out enough to be more controllable. Too bad.

GFYs

Notoriously Morbid Jinxed Jewels Liquid Eyeshadow in Tempting Devils: I got this little guy in the NM Halloween Advent Calendar. This shit is terrible. They say it can be worn on its own, layered, or over an eye shadow. I tried both, and it looked like hammered shit both times. Completely creased and crumbled off my eye after a few hours. I tried it more than once, just in case I layered it too heavily or not enough. Nope. Fucking awful product. (This is not for individual sale on the site.)

Notoriously Morbid Cosmic Gloss in Brooding Vampires: I’m specifically talking about the Brooding Vampires shade, which I also got in the Advent Calendar (I only took the pic of it with the Smoke & Fire shade to compare they came in the same full size container, but sure as FUCK don’t contain the same amount of product. The sticker may say 2 mls, but you can clearly see the base of the twist up tube is much higher on BV than on S&F. I only twisted the BV tube enough to get the product out - I haven’t worn this shade at all.) Brooding Vampires just came out of the tube as slightly tinted gloop. It never mixed with the base oils so I really don’t know what color this is supposed to be. Weak, and a little shifty on the packaging, NM. (For some reason, there are no links to get their Cosmic Gloss on the site - not sure what’s up with that because the Smoke & Fire shade is phenomenal.)

Tarte Aqua Concealer: Imagine my surprise when the concealer, in the same line as the foundation I love, makes my under eyes look dryer than a dust covered shelf in a long abandoned castle from the 18th century. Fuck you, Aqua concealer, you lying bitch.

Colourpop No Filter Concealer: See above, sans the corresponding foundation comment. (Full disclosure: I could have sworn they had regular and matte concealer, but all that’s listed on the site is matte - so that would explain the dryness.)

RK Extend Illusion Mascara: At first, I kind of liked this. But the more I wore it, the more I realized it was a tubing mascara, and those little fuckers shed INTO MY EYE BALLS. Fuck that noise. (I can’t find any place that sells this now so…there you go.)

NYX Matte Lip Cream (Moscow): I normally love these, but this particular color is patchy, hard to work with, and gets crumbly as it dries. Which explains why it’s not even for sale on the NYX website. At least they recognize when something sucks.

NYX Strictly Vinyl Liquid Eye Liners: So disappointed in this. I used the red shade once, and it was pretty cool. A few months later, went to use it again, and it was completely dried out. I bought a new bottle, the brown shade this time, and it was almost all dried up when I used it for the first time. Da fuck, NYX?

Catrice HD Liquid Coverage Precision Concealer: You know what this shit covers? Abso-fucking-lutely NADA. I appreciate the applicator design. I need to put concealer in a small, specific spot under my eyes or it becomes a shit show real fast. However, this all just blended away, but it left enough product behind to make my under eyes look like the Sahara. Fuck off, Catrice, you hit-but-mostly-miss beeyotch.

That’s it for 2018! See you on the other side, Ray.

Morgue Drawer June 2018

Here we are again, folks. As the temperatures remain in the nineties, it feels safer to me to stay inside and write up a few blog posts/reviews. So let's start with my trash, eh?

 

AND SO....I DIE...

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These make me sad. There's still product in each container but either the formulas have changed, they smell off, or they tingle against my lips and they're not supposed to do that. So I need to trash them.

Medusa's Makeup Lip Paint Remover: This stuff works great on MM's lip paints but after a while, the smell got horrible and the cap is all sticky and crusty with dried oil. It's basically almond oil, grapeseed oil, and fragrance so I imagine just almond oil will work fine. But they're having a sale right now and it's half off! I might keep the bottle and reuse it for something else. (CF)

Elf Luscious Liquid Lipstick in Nude Pink: I love this color and the formula. It started out smelling like mint but now it smells like menthol so into the garbage it goes. Would totally buy again, though, if they still had this shade. Which they don't. (CF)

Colourpop Lippies: These are probably the oldest CP lippies I own so it makes sense that they smell funny now, or the formulas have changed and actually burn when I put them on. As I have a ton of other lipsticks and glosses, I don't NEED to repurchase. Doesn't mean I won't, though...(L to R) Ultra Glossy Lip in Tight Fit; Ultra Satin in So Wavy, Lost, Petit Four, and Marshmallow (Tight Fit, Lost, and Marshmallow are still available on the CP site). 

 

SCRUB-A-DUB AND SMELL GOOD

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Paul Mitchell Instant Moisture Conditioner: I've been enjoying a lot of Paul Mitchell products lately and the hubby loves this conditioner (and matching shampoo), too! It works pretty well to keep hair clean and moisturized, which is good for me since I bleach my hair now. I ended up buying the bigger size so hubs and I can share. (CF)

Phyto Color Enhancing Hair Mask: I got this sample with an Ulta order, I think. Though it worked really well (at least at moisturizing), it's not a Cruelty Free brand so I won't be purchasing it in the future. It's also $59 for 6 ounces. Uh...no. (NCF)

Purlisse Coconut Oil and Coffee Sugar Scrub: This was a decent scrub, smelled great, but I only got one use out of this sample size. You need to use a lot to cover the whole body (I did, anyway, and I'm not very big). (CF/Vegan)

Mitchum Stick Deodorant: This worked okay. I like the clear gel formula much better. Pretty sure any deodorant that isn't one of the 'natural' brands, isn't cruelty free. (NCF)

Nature's Truth Sweet Almond Oil: I like to use this on my feet and toenails after I shower. It's a nice, light oil, that absorbs quickly into the skin. Good for all over the body, actually. Almond oil is used as a base for other moisturizers because it has no scent. Will buy again (it's not all gone but I poured the remainder into an empty pump bottle for easier dispersement). (CF - ?)

Purple Cat Apothecary Body Butters: Two more from the 5-pack sample set I ordered. The Lemon Chiffon was divine! Lemon and butter cake. The Frostbloom was okay. Kinda floral, kinda minty...hard to pin down. This formula was much thicker and drier than the Lemon one but both worked very well, especially over the almond oil I talked about above. (CF) NOTE: This was originally an Etsy store with art and body products. Apparently, Etsy is making is difficult and more expensive for people to use it as a store front so this woman only has an on-line art store at a separate website. Dammit.

 

SQUEAKY CLEAN

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TN Dickinson's Witch hazel: I like to use this after I do a mud mask. It's great for cleaning off any excess or left behind product without drying out my skin. I know a lot of people hate the smell of witch hazel but it doesn't bother me at all. Very gentle and could be used every day. I think I got mine at the grocery store but it's sold everyone it seems. (CF/Vegan)

Everyone Lavender and Coconut Hand Soap: We've tried a few scents from this brand and I really have enjoyed them all. This and the Lemon/Mandarin one have been been my favorites. Great for the kitchen! (CF)

BBW Good Vibes Only foaming hand soap: I bought this scent to get a deal at Bath and Body Works so I wasn't expecting it to be great but I love it. Even the hubby, who's not one for a lot of scented cleansers, really liked it. But...because it's BBW, and they sell to China, I really have only been keeping my purchases to candles (I love their candles and haven't found anything else to replace them yet). (NCF)

 

 

CHOMPERS AND THE LIKE

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ACT Restoring Mouthwash: I used this stuff every day with Invisalign and now it's just a habit I can't quit. Which is good! My teeth need a lot of help so this fluoride rinse is perfect. Doesn't burn like a mo-fo, either. (NCF)

Tom's of Maine Maximum Strength Sensitive toothpaste: Love this stuff. Will keep buying. (CF)

Simply Creative Living Honey Cherry Almond lip balm: I believe I talked about another lip balm from this company. I got it at my city's Farmer's Market or the 4th of July fair. Can't remember. This was just okay. Probably won't repurchase. (CF)

 

ALL ABOUT THAT FACE

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NO:HJ Sheet Mask: Got this from my monthly subscription, Facestory. It was really nice and it had all these gold colored flowers all over it. I felt so fancy! It's a Korean brand so the cruelty free status is hard to know/confirm.

The Ordinary Buffet serum: I've raved about this product before here but lately, this stuff hasn't been working all that well. It's actually been breaking me out. I know skin can acclimate to a product, making it less effective, even develop reactions to some. Seems that's what's happened here. So while my backup bottles sit unused, I'm trying something else. I'll let you know how it goes. (CF)

Ole Henrickson Banana Bright Eye Cream: Got this in one of my last Ipsy bags, I think. The cream is yellow but not sure it's brightening. It's thick but doesn't absorb that well. In fact, it didn't really do shit. (CF)

SkinRX Labs MadeCera Cream: Another sample product but can't remember where I go it. I really enjoyed it, though. Felt great on the skin and did a good job of moisturizing. Again, SkinRX is Korean so can't confirm or deny cruelty free status.

Formula 10.0.6 Day/Night Cream: I've been using the day and night creams for a while. Still loving them. (CF)

 

ALL SORTS OF STUFF

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The Ordinary Fluid Primer (forgot to put this with the makeup): This stuff is pure shit. When I bought it, the bottle was barely half full (but it wasn't wet or sticky so nothing leaked - it just wasn't filled). Can't get it out of the bottle THROUGH the dropper so I'd just wipe off enough OFF the dropper to put on my face. And then I felt like a total grease ball. I can't even use it up because it feels so gross and my skin hates it. (CF)

Burt's Bees Cleansing Oil: I really like cleansing oils so I thought I'd give BB's version a shot. It's...okay. Smells a little weird and doesn't do a great job but it's fine. I actually didn't finish this yet but I put the remaining product in a travel bottle. (CF)

Nip + Fab Glycolic Cleansing Pads: I got a sample pack of these years ago when I was still getting the Walmart box. And I really liked them so I got this full size at the drug store. Turned out they didn't really do that much for my skin. But I like the travel friendly pre-soaked pads (as opposed to a bottle) even though these felt kind of dry. Maybe that's why they didn't seem to do much. I'd be willing to try them again, though, in case I got a bad batch. (CF)

Manyo Factory Herb Green Cleansing Oil: I'm pretty sure this sample was what started my love of cleansing oils. This stuff was great. Smelled good and did a great job of removing makeup, especially after the heavy stuff I use for convention appearances! It's another Korean brand so I don't know if they're cruelty free.

First Aid Beauty Hydrating Serum (not sure why I didn't put this with the previous stuff): I've used a couple products from this brand before and while I did like them, I don't feel the brand is so superb to be worth the higher price tag. I did really enjoy this, though. (CF)

Morgue Drawer March 2018

Welcome to my trash! This is a post dedicated to all the products I've used up over the past few months so I'm pretty sure I know how they perform, smell, feel, taste, and wear on my personage. (AGAIN - these are reviews of how these products work for MY body). I'll provide links to all, assuming I can find them, so you can check them out for yourselves.

 

BEAT THAT MUG

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Essence Lash Princess Volume Mascara: Love this mascara, though this tube seemed drier than past tubes I've used. Could be I had it in my drawer too long!

Lunatcik Costmetic Labs lipsticks: I love the color on these but the bullets are so dry and sticky now, I can't even swatch them let alone use them on my lips. *sad trombone* Mine were the old packaging, apparently, so looks like you have to get the gold packaging now.

NYX Dewy Finishing Spray: I love this and it has replaced the ELF one I used to use.

Essence Eyeliner brush: I absolutely love this for gel liners. I imagine if I had a liquid one where the wand or brush went wonky, this would work great for that, too. And it's $2!

 

LIKE BUTTAH

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Bath & Body Works Body Cream (Jasmine & Vanilla): I know B&BW sells in China but I still haven't found anything to replace this scent, one of the best I've ever found in my life in a body product. The whole Sensual line is this combo of jasmine and vanilla and is pure heaven. This body cream is excellent. AND FUCK MY LIFE I CAN'T FIND IT ON THE SITE ANYMORE.

Simply Creative Living lip balm (peppermint): This was okay. I got it at the Clawson Farmer's Market, I think, from a local vendor. The quote on there also has a spelling mistake.

PurplecatCreatives Apothecary Body Butters: This is a seller on Etsy. I bought a 6-pack of minis to try out. These are super thick and hard to spread on the skin. BUT they're perfect for your feet. The Dragon Butter scent (dragons blood) was a little too heavy. The Candlelight scent (which I can't remember and there's no description - it's seasonal) was nice but a little perfumy. I'm using Lemon Chiffon now which is heavenly. 

Skin & Co Umbrian Truffle hand cream: Decent hand cream. Smells like coconut.

 

(MOSTLY) CLEAN AND SHINY

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Marc Anthony Nourishing Argan Oil shampoo/conditioner: This stuff worked really well. The shampoos that say they're 'color safe' are useless. Find yourself a good moisturizing one and that will work much better. This line is really good - scent it nice, my color didn't fade too quickly, and my hair felt wonderful.

Hask Charcoal Purifying Dry Shampoo: I liked this one because it didn't leave a lot of white residue that most dry shampoos do. Smells good, too. Not the best dry shampoo I've used but decent!

MY SKIN WOULD MAKE A GREAT LAMP SHADE

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Mario Badescu Facial Spray with rose water: I love this stuff so much. I'm still working on a giant bottle I got off HauteLook. I recently got the lavender one, too, and it's great to use before bed.

Formula 10.0.6 Day/Night Creams: I love these. The day has SPF15, which I know isn't a lot but it works fine. Nice cream and doesn't make me feel greasy. The night cream is great, too. It makes a great seal over my serum and oils.

Benton Honest Cleansing foam: This was a nice gentle cleanser. It was nice to take traveling, too.

The Ordinary Buffet serum: Love it. Works great. Will continue to buy!

 

DEBRIS (AKA RANDOM ASSORTMENT)

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Seventh Generation Free & Clear Wipes: I wanted to find some wipes to replace the small packs of makeup wipes I've used over the years. I don't use them on my face - mostly just for cleaning swatches. So why not baby wipes? These were pretty good. If I did need to take something off my face (a mistake perhaps?) these did sting a bit and left some lint behind. But for general swatches they were fine. Trying something different now, though.

ACT Restoring Mouthwash (cool mint): Since I've started Invisalign (last August), I worry about my teeth being covered up all the time and trapped food, etc. So in addition to more brushing and flossing, I use this mouthwash. I love ACT. This and the green flavor (mint - my preferred) do NOT sting at all.

Mitchum Dry spray deodorant: I discovered this brand when Secret stopped worked for me. And I really like the gel so I thought I'd give this a try. WAAAAY to heavy on the scent but the product works well. I'm back to the gel, though.

Tom's of Main toothpaste: I wanted to see if their non-fluoride sensitive toothpaste works as well as the maximum sensitive fluoride one. It does not. Plus I like having fluoride in my oral care as much as possible because I am cavity prone. But I can only find it at The Vitamin Shoppe - which is fine. I have a membership there!

Hello Sensitivity Relief toothpaste: Meh. Not a foaming paste, which is fine, but felt like I wasn't actually brushing with any product. Didn't help with sensitivity that much, either. The taste was bleh. But the worst part was trying to open the flip cap. I struggled a lot with it so will not be going back.

Morgue Drawer November 2017

Well...shit. I was going to try and stay on top of these better (heh) but with rental season at the hubby's store and October/Halloween and excuses and reasons and what not. Hopefully I'll be more regular (insert poop joke here) with these in the future. I definitely have some double-up subscription reviews coming! But for now, let's take a look at my garbage.

Not Much Pretty Going On

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ELF Make-up Wipes: I've been buying these for a long time because they're very inexpensive. I don't use them on my face but for swatches when I'm testing something out or taking pics. But even as cheap as they are, I was going through them really fast. So I decided to switch over to a giant pack of baby wipes instead. I'll let you know how those work!

Everyone Face Wipes: Just wanted to try a different brand. These were not that great. Kinda dry and not worth the $6.

Beauty 360 Micellar Water: The only micellar water that's worked great is the Garnier brand. But it's not cruelty free so I've been looking for an alternative. This is not it. Does an okay job but leaves eye makeup behind and it can sting a little if you get too much in your eye. *sigh* Trying another brand now so I'll update you later.

Catrice Glamour Doll Volume Mascara: Though it says volume on it, it didn't do that great of a job in that department. Was nice for separating the lashes but that's about it.

Crazy Rumours Mint Chocolate Lip Balm: I loved this one. The banana flavor wasn't so great but this was fantastic. Smooth, hung around for a while, did a nice job of moisturizing. 

Real Techniques Lash/Brow Groomer: This was my second one. The first I had for years before it started to shed the metal tines. This one lasted a few months. What the hell? I did get another one and it's holding up very well. I think I just got a dud. It happens. I know there are plastic ones out there but I prefer the metal. Does a much better job of separating clumped lashes.

 

So Soft and Smooth

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Tarte Deep Dive Cleansing Gel: I got a sample of this a while back and decided to get a full size (though it is the smaller bottle of the two available). It did make my skin feel baby smooth and cleaned it well. After a while it didn't feel the same and it may have stopped working. Not a problem because I didn't want to spend the $$ on another bottle anyway. But it was a nice change.

Tarte Maracuja C-Brighter Eye Treatment: Nothing special but it was nice enough. My dry patch didn't come back while using this so that's a plus!

The Ordinary "Buffet" Serum: Best thing I've tried from this line so far. I know I don't eat well so since I can't nourish my skin from the inside sufficiently, might as well do it from the outside! I only use 2 drops per use. A little goes a long way so the bottle lasts a while. And this is actually one of the more expensive items in their inventory - at $14. I think I'm on my fourth or fifth bottle already. Love it.

The Ordinary Rose Hip See Oil: I really loved this for some extra moisture in the winter time. But the product started to smell funny when I got about 2/3 of the way through the bottle. I didn't use it every day so maybe if I did, I would have finished it off before it started to turn. Might just purchase this during the winter time. And for rose hip oil, it's super cheap but it's really good.

The Ordinary 2% Rentinoid Emulsion: This is a gentler form of retinol so it does the same work (reduce wrinkles, helps with skin cell turnover) but it's just a little slower and much more gentle than the regular retinol you get in the drug store. But, as my former piano teacher said, once you're on this stuff you have to STAY on it. Fuck that noise. It's not expensive through The Ordinary but I just don't want to mess with it any more.

Air Repair Complexion Boosting Moisturizer: This was a really nice face cream. I used it at night, though, as it was heavier than I prefer for the day time.

Soap & Glory Peaches and Clean Cream Cleanser: The bottle says it removes makeup but every reviewer I've watched says it doesn't. I don't use it for that anyway. I use it as a regular cream cleanser in the morning. It's a nice gentle cleanser that works great. I'm already on my second bottle.

Shiny Hair, Shiny Teeth

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Batiste Original Dry Shampoo: The scent is really nice on this one. But the powder is REALLY white. Make sure you work it in well! There's mixed info out there about this brand being Cruelty Free so I won't buy it again.

Hask Oil Absorbing Dry Shampoo: I enjoyed this one a lot. No white powder or residue but it feels more like a texturizing spray as opposed to a dry shampoo. It works very well though.

Marc Anthony Argan Oil of Morocco Hair Spray: I've been buying this for years. Soft hold, not super sticky, doesn't make my hair crunchy. But it's also not a super strong holding spray so keep that in mind. Smell is amazing.

Attitude Shampoo/Body Wash: This was fine. Felt like a clarifying shampoo, if you know what I'm mean. Hair was super dooper clean afterwards. I just don't like multi-purpose hair/body stuff. Usually very drying.

Tom's of Main Maximum Strength Sensitive Toothpaste: This is my preferred toothpaste. It helps with sensitivity, it doesn't make the inside of my mouth peel (sensitivity pastes do that to about 5% of us weirdos), and it's got fluoride. Not sure if I still NEED fluoride but my teeth are super prone to cavities so I'd rather not take the chance. Trouble is I only ever see this at The Vitamin Shoppe or sometimes health food stores. Dammit.

Tom's of Main Rapid Relief Sensitive Fluoride-Free Toothpaste: I got this when I couldn't find the above version. Works almost as well.

 

Get It Under Wraps!

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Wish Formula Bat Eye Mask: Loved this one. The mask material is very soft and it's not over saturated with serum. It's also fun to have a bat sit on your face. Wait...

Bonvivant Collagen & Olive Face Mask: Very nice mask. The material was soft, had a decent fit around my eyes and mouth, smelled fantastic. The serum was more of a milky essence, read: not drippy. 

Choonee's Goat's Milk Face Mask: OMG I loved this mask. I started a new monthly subscription for just face masks and this was included in my first or second month. My skin LOVED the ingredients in this. It does come directly from Korea so unless you sign up for a service that will deliver it (like FACESTORY), you'll need to order directly from Korea.

Tarte Undereye Patches: These came in a sample set or travel set or something. Couldn't get on their own. Don't feel like they did much. Most of these kinds of eye patches don't, at least for me.

23.5N Rice Gel Mask: This stuff was pretty cool. And my skin felt nice and soft after using it. It's like aloe gel but a bit firmer, easier to spread across the face. No strong smell and it didn't burn. 

(DISCLAIMER: A lot of Korean skin care is hard to pin down on the cruelty free front. Within Korea, they are cracking down on animal testing and a lot of companies don't do it anymore. By 2018 they want to phase it out completely. Yay! But many companies do still sell to China and, again, it's difficult to find comprehensive info on company policies regarding being or going cruelty free.)

PDs, MEHs, and GFYs June 2017

All righty. This is TAKE TWO of writing up this post. I accidentally discarded the last one I worked on, just as I was getting to the end....

Anyhoo...let's get to the products.

PANTY DROPPERS (PDs)

Beauty 360 Face Scrubby Thing: I really don't know what this is called but I saw a duo pack of these at CVS (360 is CVS's house brand). I have a tendency to go ham fisted with physical exfoliators (like those creams with grit in them or just a washcloth) but this thing makes it much easier for me to calm my shit down. The little silicone nubs are gentle enough to not rip my face off but you can feel that they really get in there and slough off the dead skin. I keep one in my shower and I travel with the other. The extra great thing is they don't retain water, like a sponge would, so there's no risk of slathering mold all over your face! (I can't find a link at CVS for these, though)

The Ordinary "Buffet": People on YouTube were going NUTS over this brand for a hot minute. Things seemed to have calmed down but I don't know why. This brand makes some really good skin care. The packaging is simple and they don't load in shit you don't need (fillers, dyes, scents, etc.). That's why their prices are so freakin low. The Buffet is a peptide serum and I honestly think it's done wonders for my skin. It's the most expensive thing I've purchased from them ($15) and compared to regular stores, it's almost like shopping at the dollar store! I have since repurchased and will continue to do so.

NYX Ultimate Palette (Cool Neutrals): Everyone and their mother goes ape shit for warm colors. I'm so tired of the warm browns, coppers, oranges, blahblahblah. Don't get me wrong - I do wear them. I'm just TIRED of them. So this is a god send. Colors are beautiful, pretty pigmented, and blend like a dream (the purple one is a bit patchy and the light ones you can't really see because they are very close to my skin tone). 

Merchant of Galifrey Lip Balm (Cassian): I've found that some lip balms don't actually moisturize or protect the lips. I know, right? But this shop from Etsy has made some great ones! Tons of scents so you're sure to find something you'll like. I got the one inspired by Star Wars: Rogue One's character of Cassian - pear, clove, and dulce de leche. So not only does it smell good, last long, and work great, I think of Diego Luna every time I put it on my lips. Mmmmm....Diego....

TheBalm Mad Lash Mascara: I love the formula of this mascara. It does a great job of thickening and lengthening my lashes. Sometimes TheBalm stuff can be hit or miss but this stuff is awesome.

Milani Eye Shadow Primer: I've tried a bunch of different brands but this is the one I always goes back to. Just repurchased.

Colourpop Creme Gel Eyeliner: This stuff is no joke. Once it's on the eyes, even the waterline, it doesn't budge one inch. The problem, though, is the darker ones dry out really fast. I had the dark green color (which is no longer available - probably because it basically looked black) but the product got too try to work with before I could use it up. The browns are a little easier to work with, stay creamier longer, but still have the same staying power.

Colourpop Super Shock Shadow (Dare): I can't tell you how many times I've received compliments on this shadow when I wear it. A gorgeous neon purple with hot pink and violet glitter. But as you can see from the swatch, it dried out before I could even hit pan. It's basically just dry scratchy glitter now and OMG COLOURPOP IS HAVING A SALE ON THEIR SHADOWS. Excuse me a moment...

 

MEHs

NYX Le Frou Frou Mascara: For something that claims to give volume and length, it really does neither. My lashes looked nice, soft and natural, but no better than that. So while it's nice to use for those kind of days, I don't turn to it to get more special.

Bronx Colors Matte Lip Tint: The color was pretty, though a little brighter than the swatch on-line, but the formula was dry and kinda streaky. Not a great first impression, Bronx.

The Body Shop Vitamin E Serum: At first this stuff seemed great. It smells fantastic and it gave me a little extra moisture I needed at the time. But after about a month the smell went...off. I'm almost positive, too, that this broke me out a bit. Not gonna ever use again just to be safe. 

Essence Get Big Lashes Mascara: Again, another one that claims to make your lashes really thick and long but really only gives you a soft natural look. Which is fine but not what I was looking for when I bought this.

Tarte Skinny Smolder Eyes (Amethyst): The color is kinda dull and the product itself wears off really fast. Though it feels creamy going on and smudges out well, it's just so...lackluster. Probably why it's on sale at the website.

TheBalm Mad Lash Mascara: This also get a MEH rating - for the packaging. Instead of a normal twist open tube, they have this one as just pull straight out (oy) and snap back in. It's a tight fit (really?) so after yanking on it for a second or two (for crying out loud), the wand flings product everywhere (geez) then gets all over the packaging (mic drop). Ugh.

GO FUCK YOURSELVES (GFYs)

Burts Bees Facial Cleansing Towlettes: Oh gods these suck so bad! The cloths come out mostly dry and they sting like a fucking beast. They also smell very herbally which is great for marinara sauce but not for my fucking face.

City Color Color Corrector Pens: I really wanted to try the orange toned one for the purple under my eyes, as well as try out the green just for shits and giggles. They came as a trio on Haute Look so I got them all. FUCKING AWFUL. They're twist up pens so after about 4 days of twisting, a little teeny tiny bit of product came out. Mostly dry and crumbly, they dried darker once on the skin (except the green - that one was ok). I maybe got 3 uses from them. SO FUCKING TERRIBLE.

Addictive Cosmetics All Natural Lipstick (Maleficent): I've purchased stuff from this Etsy store before that I've loved. But this lipstick is just awful. Patchy as fuck, thin formula, it will not go opaque no matter what I do, not even over a lip liner. I don't know if it's because it's a sample and not a full bullet or what. Ugh.

Urban Decay Perversion Mascara: You can see I have two sample tubes of this crap and I haven't used up either. The formula is so thick and goopy, it's impossible to work with. Maybe if I had thicker lashes it would be okay. But I don't. So it isn't. Blech.

Shea Moisture Dragons Blood & Coffee Cherry Mask: HOLY FUCKING BALLS THIS STUFF HURT SO BAD! I've used SM stuff in the past and I've liked it. But about 30 seconds after I got this mask on my face it started to burn. Like Human Torch burn. Like Darkman caught in his lab fire burn. Which makes me so sad because it smells fantastic. But it's not worth the price of possibly becoming disfigured (that's hyperbole for those of you without a sense of humor).

All righty. That'll do it for my list of awesome and awful. See you in a few months for another installment!

Morgue Drawer June 2017

I was going to start posting these MDs more often. I would fill up a box with empties and post. But since February, I got a bigger box (that's what HE said) so it took a lot longer to fill it up (oh wow) and so here we are, four months later. Sorry. I'll try to keep it as short as possible!

ALL THE PAMPERING

So many face masks. They are my weakness. As far as skin care is concerned, anyway...

Skin Rx Labs Re-turn Express: This was an awesome mask. It's been the softest one I've ever tried (and I try a lot). Well saturated and fit pretty good, too.

When 10pm: Very thin mask but it had two protective sheets on either side. Jelly consistency serum. Felt a lot like the rice mask kit I had a while back. Not a ton of left over serum to use but it was nice. The eye holes were a bit small.

When Hydrate: Loved this one. The mask itself felt like jello - like a thin but firm gelatin. So cool. My skin felt so nice after this.

Bonvivant Adenosine & Acai Berry: This is the best Bonvivant mask I've tried. Fit really well and the serum was like a milky essence. My skin felt fantastic!

3 Step Nose Strip (little grey rectangle in the pick - sorry I can't remember the brand!): This was kinda fun. The first step melts the sebum around the nose. It felt like menthol, kind of intense. The second step is the charcoal sticky strip that you have to put on, wet, then let sit before pulling off. Third step was like a mask/serum for the nose. The next day after using this I got a big zit at the end of my nose. :(

Hada Labo Anti-Aging: Super soft material and it fit well. The next day my skin felt great.

Sorry for my Skin Brightening: These are always nice. Not sure if each kind does anything different from the rest but I love the jelly consistency of the serum.

Forencos 7 Days Friday: I only got one of the seven in a snack box (of all things). Super saturated, lots of left over serum to soak on top. Once I was done, though, it stayed tacky on my face. Never fully sunk in. The holes in the mask were small. My skin felt nice but the next day I was super oily in my T-zone.

My Beloved Girl Extreme Moisture: Decent, skin felt very nice (don't have a lot of notes on this one).

Nan Well Cucumber: I LOVE this one! Very soft material, my skin felt great the next day. I've used this one a few times and it's always been nice. (can't find a link, though)

SooAe Brightening: Very saturated, felt really nice. My skin loved it. But the eye holes were way too small.

ToSowoong Super Aqua Essence: This stung like a mo fo. Had to take it off after 3 minutes. My skin was sticky for hours.

 

CLEAN THAT SHIT UP...THEN SOFTEN IT

Mario Badescu Enzyme Cleansing Gel: This was a nice, gentle cleanser. Hard to get out of the bottle by the end (as you can still see some in there). Haven't repurchased.

Tarte Deep Dive Cleansing Gel: I got this sample with a Tarte order and I loved it. My skin felt so soft and smooth afterwards. I ended up buying a bigger size.

DHC Deep Cleaning Oil: Got this sample in the mail (I think the 3B site sold my info to their affiliates because I got a travel size of this in a past bag). I really like it though. I'm using the travel size now. I might actually buy this.

The Ordinary Hyaluronic Acid 2%: I got this as part of their recommended anti-aging regimen (along with their Buffet serum, Retinoid, and Rose hip oil). I don't feel that this stuff gave me any extra moisture like it's supposed to. Haven't repurchased.

Tarte Maracuja Oil (not pictured): Got a tiny sample of this stuff from Ipsy, I think. Don't really remember. LOVED this for my skin. But this shit is super expensive so I haven't repurchased. I'm reusing the bottle for The Ordinary's rose hip oil and take that with me when I travel. 

Mario Badescu Rose Face Spray: My love for this has not changed. Got two big bottles from Haute Look for a great price so I'm good for a while.

Mario Badescu Hyaluronic Eye Cream: The color changed a bit on this as I got to the bottom so I had to toss it. It works really well but that little dry patch under my eye hasn't returned so I'm probably not going to buy this again unless that little bugger come back.

Mario Badescu Aloe Moisturizer: Decent but it's a little thick for a day cream. Hard to spread over the face evenly without using a giant dollop of it. Won't repurchase.

 

GOODLY WOMEN DO NOT PAINT THEMSELVES...UNTIL THEY DO

ELF Cleansing Cloths: I don't use these for my face. They sting. But they're great for removing swatches. And they're $3.

Heimish All Clean Balm: This came from 3B and I think it was the second cleansing balm I ever tried. I love this. I love the idea of using this kind of gel/cream cleanser to take off makeup. Sure you have to use a regular cleanser after but this 2-step cleansing routing is all the rage now, I guess (an oil would be another option if you don't have the balm). I want to find this or another kind someday.

Tarte Lights Camera Lashes Mascara: Probably one of my favorite mascaras of all time. It's expensive though so I wait for Ulta to have a sale where I can get it 50% off.

NYX Dewy Setting Spray: Not sure this makes me look dewy but it's great at setting makeup and helping it last a long time. It's a little better than the Elf stuff I used to use.

Essence Make Me Brow: Those who know me know I don't have a lot in the way of eye brow hair. So if I just want to thicken them a little bit but not go overboard, this colored gel is perfect. And it's $3! If they made one in grey, that would just complete me so much.

Elf Lip Exfoliator in Cherry: This is such a great idea. I think I had this in my PDMEHGFY post in February. It's a great way to exfoliate your lips in a nice neat package. I have the grapefruit one now and I think it's even better than the cherry flavor.

Milani Lip Oil (raspberry, I think): I loved this stuff at first. Very soothing on the lips. But eventually I realized it didn't moisturize all that well. *shrug* Won't repurchase.

 

RANDOM ASSORTMENT

Tom's of Main Sensitive Toothpaste: This is the nicest sensitive toothpaste I've ever used. Works well and doesn't make my mouth peel (which, according to my dentist's hygienist, is something a very small percentage of the population experiences with sensitive toothpastes - so I'm NOT crazy). Will continue to repurchase.

Paul Mitchell Purple Shampoo: Yes, I don't have blonde hair but a YouTuber I watch (Shannon Shortcake) used this on her bleached platinum hair and a little bit of it turned lavender/grey/purple. So I thought I'd give it a shot on my white/grey hair. It actually does deposit a little lavender/silver touch to my temples and makes the rest look less brassy (if that term can be applied to salt and pepper grey). I might try a few more kinds but I really like this and it smells like cucumbers!

Living Proof Styling Treatment: Got this in an Ipsy or something. While I don't like a lot of this brand's other stuff, this styling cream is actually perfect for my short hair. But they aren't Cruelty Free so I won't be buying again (unless I really can't find a CF alternative).

Mitchum Gel Deodorant: My tried and true Secret deodorant stopped working for me so I had to find a replacement. Mitchum actually works really well. This 'gel' formula is more like the thin watery roll-on style so it flings all over the place. I've since bought the solid stick and that's much better!

 

GET YOUR FILTHY PAWS OFF MY SILKY DRAWERS

Everyone Hand Soap: I wanted to find a cruelty free option for hand soap and I found this stuff at the local Vitamin Shoppe. This scent is heavenly for the kitchen. Very bright and clean. A couple of the other scents are nice, too.

Method Foaming Hand Wash (Sweet Water): Technically, Method does test on animals (a small kind of water bug which maybe a lot of people don't consider on par with bunnies and puppies but it's still a living creature) so I really only buy this scent. The hubs likes to use it to wash his face and it works really well for him so I will continue to buy it.

Bath & Body Works Foaming Hand Soap (Vampire Blood): This only comes out at Halloween so of course I have to buy it. But if you're NOT new here, you know that even though BBW sells in China, I will still buy these kinds of soaps, their candles, and some shower gels because I haven't been able to find anything else that compares. I'm not sorry.

Okay. That'll do it for this installment of my Morgue Drawer. Again, I'll try to do these once a quarter so they're not so much to take in at once (really?).