The Monkey Is In.

So be prepared. Bring a banana.

I'm a writer of horror and dark fiction. I've been doing this since 1999 and believe me when I say, it's cheaper than therapy and safer for the world at large.

Medusa's Makeup July 2017 Review

For those who may not know, Medusa's Makeup is a monthly subscription service. For $16, you'll get 4-5 full sized cruelty free and vegan beauty products of the indie brand, Medusa's Makeup. Check them out here: MEDUSA'S MAKEUP

I pay for this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones.

I love how MM switches up the package envelope. The flamingos are so cute! This month we also got a free beach bag (or looks like it could also be a reusable grocery bag). How fucking cool is that?

Lip Paint in "Cowgirl": FINALLY a lip color I will wear! Sure, it's a corpse nude but I much prefer that kind of look when I do really dark and/or dramatic eye makeup. This is the same formula as the others so it's super comfortable. It's a little streaky and when it dries down you can see it gives that "asshole" look to the lips (because the product won't stick to the inner most wet part of the lips, when you purse your lips, it looks like a butthole - I didn't coin the expression, dammit!). But I can work with this for sure! $12

Brow Wow Wow: There's only one brow product on their site and it's this brow definer and highlighter in one. The brown is a cool dark shade, which is fine. The highlight is gorgeous. It doesn't show up on camera but it has this almost white/blue duo-chrome to it. But it's also very soft and powdery, as you can see. $12

Angle Eyeliner Brush: Not sure I could use this for gel or liquid liner. It's a very soft and bendy brush. It would probably absorb too much liquid and not be stiff enough to stand up to gel. However, this will make a great eyebrow brush. I don't like the look of harsh, strong, drawn on brows. As you can see in the swatch, it makes a soft line of color, which is perfect for me. $8

Glitter in "Mystique": I wasn't blown away with the purple glitter last month (I loved the color and the name but the product itself ended up being kinda meh). I anticipate the same from this. But the color is stupendous - blue/green/yellow/purple. When all packed on, it is stunning. $8

According to the card, it's a $45 value this month (I guess they're counting the bag at a $5 value). Hooray!

Universal Yums June 2017 Review

For those who may not know, Universal Yums is a monthly subscription service. For $14 or $25 each month you get 6+ or 12+ snacks in every box from a different country. Check them out for yourselves: UNIVERSAL YUMS

(I purchase this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones)

June's box comes from MEXICO. Here's some trivia for you (answer at the end of the post): Pedro Lascurain, the 34th president of Mexico, had the shortest term in office ever. He was president for: A. 5 minutes; B. 1 hour; C. 2 days; D. 1 week

Reading the little description booklet I was super excited about this month. However, after tasting everything, I have to say this has probably been my least favorite snack box. *shrug* What are you gonna do?

Barcel Habanero Potato Chips: FUCK ME SIDEWAYS. GODS DAMNED MOTHER FUCKING HABANERO BITE MY ASS, YOU DICK.

Bubu Lubu: There are only 3 ingredients in this - chocolate, strawberry, and marshmallow. Apparently the best way to eat this confection is frozen. I tried it straight out of the box first and it was kind of gross. The chocolate tastes cheap and the strawberry puree was gritty. AFTER putting it in the freezer it was much better. The marshmallow becomes more like taffy, the strawberry is smooth, and the chocolate is wonderful. 

Luca Muecas Cucumber Lollipop: This was disgusting. It's the same concept as a fun dip but without the fun. The cucumber lollipop is dipped in spices and you eat it. The spices are more bitter than Kanye West at the Grammy's. The cucumber sucker tastes so artificial and fake. UGH.

 

Sabritas Salt & Lime Peanuts: These were my absolute favorite snack this month! I wish I hadn't eaten them so quickly. I love the salty and sour combination on these. Sort of like a vinegar potato chip but not quite as tart or pungent. If you like that kind of thing (or malt vinegar on fries) you'll love these.

Rollo de Coco: This is basically a log, a mixture of coconut sugar, milk, cinnamon and vanilla. I loved the texture and the initial taste but the aftertaste was like when you get shampoo in your mouth while washing your hair in the shower. Not optimal.

Pica Fresa: I was (not) pleasantly surprised by this little candy. I like sweet and spicy and this candy is supposed to be spicy on the outside, sweet on the inside. But all I got was a mouthful of strawberry sour then a butt load of salt. Bizarre, and not in a good way.

 

De La Rosa Mazapan: I originally misread that as Marzipan so I was only slightly disappointed when I opened it up. This round disc in a wonderful little confection that's basically peanuts and sugar. How can you go wrong? The texture is crumbly and kind of dry so I suppose some people might not dig that. But the flavor is amazing!

Las Sevillanas Obleas: Cajeta, the 3rd cousin of caramel and dulce de leche, is made my heating up goats milk very slowly and that is what makes up the delicious gooey middle of this treat. Unfortunately, the wafers that sandwich this yumminess taste like plastic. So sad. So Very Very Sad.

Lucas Skwinkles Rellenos with Pineapple and Tamarind: I don't remember the tamarind goody from the Thailand box but these skinny, gummy, spice covered goodies ARE FANTASTIC! My second favorite treat in the box, and not just because of the name, the consistency is like a cross between gummy worms and those fruit snacks (pick the brand you like - they all seem to have the same soft texture). So freakin' good!

There's a bonus item of a spice pack but we haven't used it yet. It's a spice mixture made of chili peppers, salt, and dehydrated lime juice. Could be good!

So as you can see, I really only liked 2 treats this month. That's okay. My palette is not the most sophisticated and I'm all right with that. The clue to next month leads us to believe we'll be getting treats from South Korea!

TRIVIA ANSWER: B. 1 hour. This isn't the sad story you're probably expecting. Pedro Lascurain willingly gave up the presidency after around 45 minutes as part of a complicated government coup. After his presidency, he retired from politics, became a full-time lawyer, and lived until he was 96.

PDs, MEHs, and GFYs June 2017

All righty. This is TAKE TWO of writing up this post. I accidentally discarded the last one I worked on, just as I was getting to the end....

Anyhoo...let's get to the products.

PANTY DROPPERS (PDs)

Beauty 360 Face Scrubby Thing: I really don't know what this is called but I saw a duo pack of these at CVS (360 is CVS's house brand). I have a tendency to go ham fisted with physical exfoliators (like those creams with grit in them or just a washcloth) but this thing makes it much easier for me to calm my shit down. The little silicone nubs are gentle enough to not rip my face off but you can feel that they really get in there and slough off the dead skin. I keep one in my shower and I travel with the other. The extra great thing is they don't retain water, like a sponge would, so there's no risk of slathering mold all over your face! (I can't find a link at CVS for these, though)

The Ordinary "Buffet": People on YouTube were going NUTS over this brand for a hot minute. Things seemed to have calmed down but I don't know why. This brand makes some really good skin care. The packaging is simple and they don't load in shit you don't need (fillers, dyes, scents, etc.). That's why their prices are so freakin low. The Buffet is a peptide serum and I honestly think it's done wonders for my skin. It's the most expensive thing I've purchased from them ($15) and compared to regular stores, it's almost like shopping at the dollar store! I have since repurchased and will continue to do so.

NYX Ultimate Palette (Cool Neutrals): Everyone and their mother goes ape shit for warm colors. I'm so tired of the warm browns, coppers, oranges, blahblahblah. Don't get me wrong - I do wear them. I'm just TIRED of them. So this is a god send. Colors are beautiful, pretty pigmented, and blend like a dream (the purple one is a bit patchy and the light ones you can't really see because they are very close to my skin tone). 

Merchant of Galifrey Lip Balm (Cassian): I've found that some lip balms don't actually moisturize or protect the lips. I know, right? But this shop from Etsy has made some great ones! Tons of scents so you're sure to find something you'll like. I got the one inspired by Star Wars: Rogue One's character of Cassian - pear, clove, and dulce de leche. So not only does it smell good, last long, and work great, I think of Diego Luna every time I put it on my lips. Mmmmm....Diego....

TheBalm Mad Lash Mascara: I love the formula of this mascara. It does a great job of thickening and lengthening my lashes. Sometimes TheBalm stuff can be hit or miss but this stuff is awesome.

Milani Eye Shadow Primer: I've tried a bunch of different brands but this is the one I always goes back to. Just repurchased.

Colourpop Creme Gel Eyeliner: This stuff is no joke. Once it's on the eyes, even the waterline, it doesn't budge one inch. The problem, though, is the darker ones dry out really fast. I had the dark green color (which is no longer available - probably because it basically looked black) but the product got too try to work with before I could use it up. The browns are a little easier to work with, stay creamier longer, but still have the same staying power.

Colourpop Super Shock Shadow (Dare): I can't tell you how many times I've received compliments on this shadow when I wear it. A gorgeous neon purple with hot pink and violet glitter. But as you can see from the swatch, it dried out before I could even hit pan. It's basically just dry scratchy glitter now and OMG COLOURPOP IS HAVING A SALE ON THEIR SHADOWS. Excuse me a moment...

 

MEHs

NYX Le Frou Frou Mascara: For something that claims to give volume and length, it really does neither. My lashes looked nice, soft and natural, but no better than that. So while it's nice to use for those kind of days, I don't turn to it to get more special.

Bronx Colors Matte Lip Tint: The color was pretty, though a little brighter than the swatch on-line, but the formula was dry and kinda streaky. Not a great first impression, Bronx.

The Body Shop Vitamin E Serum: At first this stuff seemed great. It smells fantastic and it gave me a little extra moisture I needed at the time. But after about a month the smell went...off. I'm almost positive, too, that this broke me out a bit. Not gonna ever use again just to be safe. 

Essence Get Big Lashes Mascara: Again, another one that claims to make your lashes really thick and long but really only gives you a soft natural look. Which is fine but not what I was looking for when I bought this.

Tarte Skinny Smolder Eyes (Amethyst): The color is kinda dull and the product itself wears off really fast. Though it feels creamy going on and smudges out well, it's just so...lackluster. Probably why it's on sale at the website.

TheBalm Mad Lash Mascara: This also get a MEH rating - for the packaging. Instead of a normal twist open tube, they have this one as just pull straight out (oy) and snap back in. It's a tight fit (really?) so after yanking on it for a second or two (for crying out loud), the wand flings product everywhere (geez) then gets all over the packaging (mic drop). Ugh.

GO FUCK YOURSELVES (GFYs)

Burts Bees Facial Cleansing Towlettes: Oh gods these suck so bad! The cloths come out mostly dry and they sting like a fucking beast. They also smell very herbally which is great for marinara sauce but not for my fucking face.

City Color Color Corrector Pens: I really wanted to try the orange toned one for the purple under my eyes, as well as try out the green just for shits and giggles. They came as a trio on Haute Look so I got them all. FUCKING AWFUL. They're twist up pens so after about 4 days of twisting, a little teeny tiny bit of product came out. Mostly dry and crumbly, they dried darker once on the skin (except the green - that one was ok). I maybe got 3 uses from them. SO FUCKING TERRIBLE.

Addictive Cosmetics All Natural Lipstick (Maleficent): I've purchased stuff from this Etsy store before that I've loved. But this lipstick is just awful. Patchy as fuck, thin formula, it will not go opaque no matter what I do, not even over a lip liner. I don't know if it's because it's a sample and not a full bullet or what. Ugh.

Urban Decay Perversion Mascara: You can see I have two sample tubes of this crap and I haven't used up either. The formula is so thick and goopy, it's impossible to work with. Maybe if I had thicker lashes it would be okay. But I don't. So it isn't. Blech.

Shea Moisture Dragons Blood & Coffee Cherry Mask: HOLY FUCKING BALLS THIS STUFF HURT SO BAD! I've used SM stuff in the past and I've liked it. But about 30 seconds after I got this mask on my face it started to burn. Like Human Torch burn. Like Darkman caught in his lab fire burn. Which makes me so sad because it smells fantastic. But it's not worth the price of possibly becoming disfigured (that's hyperbole for those of you without a sense of humor).

All righty. That'll do it for my list of awesome and awful. See you in a few months for another installment!

Morgue Drawer June 2017

I was going to start posting these MDs more often. I would fill up a box with empties and post. But since February, I got a bigger box (that's what HE said) so it took a lot longer to fill it up (oh wow) and so here we are, four months later. Sorry. I'll try to keep it as short as possible!

ALL THE PAMPERING

So many face masks. They are my weakness. As far as skin care is concerned, anyway...

Skin Rx Labs Re-turn Express: This was an awesome mask. It's been the softest one I've ever tried (and I try a lot). Well saturated and fit pretty good, too.

When 10pm: Very thin mask but it had two protective sheets on either side. Jelly consistency serum. Felt a lot like the rice mask kit I had a while back. Not a ton of left over serum to use but it was nice. The eye holes were a bit small.

When Hydrate: Loved this one. The mask itself felt like jello - like a thin but firm gelatin. So cool. My skin felt so nice after this.

Bonvivant Adenosine & Acai Berry: This is the best Bonvivant mask I've tried. Fit really well and the serum was like a milky essence. My skin felt fantastic!

3 Step Nose Strip (little grey rectangle in the pick - sorry I can't remember the brand!): This was kinda fun. The first step melts the sebum around the nose. It felt like menthol, kind of intense. The second step is the charcoal sticky strip that you have to put on, wet, then let sit before pulling off. Third step was like a mask/serum for the nose. The next day after using this I got a big zit at the end of my nose. :(

Hada Labo Anti-Aging: Super soft material and it fit well. The next day my skin felt great.

Sorry for my Skin Brightening: These are always nice. Not sure if each kind does anything different from the rest but I love the jelly consistency of the serum.

Forencos 7 Days Friday: I only got one of the seven in a snack box (of all things). Super saturated, lots of left over serum to soak on top. Once I was done, though, it stayed tacky on my face. Never fully sunk in. The holes in the mask were small. My skin felt nice but the next day I was super oily in my T-zone.

My Beloved Girl Extreme Moisture: Decent, skin felt very nice (don't have a lot of notes on this one).

Nan Well Cucumber: I LOVE this one! Very soft material, my skin felt great the next day. I've used this one a few times and it's always been nice. (can't find a link, though)

SooAe Brightening: Very saturated, felt really nice. My skin loved it. But the eye holes were way too small.

ToSowoong Super Aqua Essence: This stung like a mo fo. Had to take it off after 3 minutes. My skin was sticky for hours.

 

CLEAN THAT SHIT UP...THEN SOFTEN IT

Mario Badescu Enzyme Cleansing Gel: This was a nice, gentle cleanser. Hard to get out of the bottle by the end (as you can still see some in there). Haven't repurchased.

Tarte Deep Dive Cleansing Gel: I got this sample with a Tarte order and I loved it. My skin felt so soft and smooth afterwards. I ended up buying a bigger size.

DHC Deep Cleaning Oil: Got this sample in the mail (I think the 3B site sold my info to their affiliates because I got a travel size of this in a past bag). I really like it though. I'm using the travel size now. I might actually buy this.

The Ordinary Hyaluronic Acid 2%: I got this as part of their recommended anti-aging regimen (along with their Buffet serum, Retinoid, and Rose hip oil). I don't feel that this stuff gave me any extra moisture like it's supposed to. Haven't repurchased.

Tarte Maracuja Oil (not pictured): Got a tiny sample of this stuff from Ipsy, I think. Don't really remember. LOVED this for my skin. But this shit is super expensive so I haven't repurchased. I'm reusing the bottle for The Ordinary's rose hip oil and take that with me when I travel. 

Mario Badescu Rose Face Spray: My love for this has not changed. Got two big bottles from Haute Look for a great price so I'm good for a while.

Mario Badescu Hyaluronic Eye Cream: The color changed a bit on this as I got to the bottom so I had to toss it. It works really well but that little dry patch under my eye hasn't returned so I'm probably not going to buy this again unless that little bugger come back.

Mario Badescu Aloe Moisturizer: Decent but it's a little thick for a day cream. Hard to spread over the face evenly without using a giant dollop of it. Won't repurchase.

 

GOODLY WOMEN DO NOT PAINT THEMSELVES...UNTIL THEY DO

ELF Cleansing Cloths: I don't use these for my face. They sting. But they're great for removing swatches. And they're $3.

Heimish All Clean Balm: This came from 3B and I think it was the second cleansing balm I ever tried. I love this. I love the idea of using this kind of gel/cream cleanser to take off makeup. Sure you have to use a regular cleanser after but this 2-step cleansing routing is all the rage now, I guess (an oil would be another option if you don't have the balm). I want to find this or another kind someday.

Tarte Lights Camera Lashes Mascara: Probably one of my favorite mascaras of all time. It's expensive though so I wait for Ulta to have a sale where I can get it 50% off.

NYX Dewy Setting Spray: Not sure this makes me look dewy but it's great at setting makeup and helping it last a long time. It's a little better than the Elf stuff I used to use.

Essence Make Me Brow: Those who know me know I don't have a lot in the way of eye brow hair. So if I just want to thicken them a little bit but not go overboard, this colored gel is perfect. And it's $3! If they made one in grey, that would just complete me so much.

Elf Lip Exfoliator in Cherry: This is such a great idea. I think I had this in my PDMEHGFY post in February. It's a great way to exfoliate your lips in a nice neat package. I have the grapefruit one now and I think it's even better than the cherry flavor.

Milani Lip Oil (raspberry, I think): I loved this stuff at first. Very soothing on the lips. But eventually I realized it didn't moisturize all that well. *shrug* Won't repurchase.

 

RANDOM ASSORTMENT

Tom's of Main Sensitive Toothpaste: This is the nicest sensitive toothpaste I've ever used. Works well and doesn't make my mouth peel (which, according to my dentist's hygienist, is something a very small percentage of the population experiences with sensitive toothpastes - so I'm NOT crazy). Will continue to repurchase.

Paul Mitchell Purple Shampoo: Yes, I don't have blonde hair but a YouTuber I watch (Shannon Shortcake) used this on her bleached platinum hair and a little bit of it turned lavender/grey/purple. So I thought I'd give it a shot on my white/grey hair. It actually does deposit a little lavender/silver touch to my temples and makes the rest look less brassy (if that term can be applied to salt and pepper grey). I might try a few more kinds but I really like this and it smells like cucumbers!

Living Proof Styling Treatment: Got this in an Ipsy or something. While I don't like a lot of this brand's other stuff, this styling cream is actually perfect for my short hair. But they aren't Cruelty Free so I won't be buying again (unless I really can't find a CF alternative).

Mitchum Gel Deodorant: My tried and true Secret deodorant stopped working for me so I had to find a replacement. Mitchum actually works really well. This 'gel' formula is more like the thin watery roll-on style so it flings all over the place. I've since bought the solid stick and that's much better!

 

GET YOUR FILTHY PAWS OFF MY SILKY DRAWERS

Everyone Hand Soap: I wanted to find a cruelty free option for hand soap and I found this stuff at the local Vitamin Shoppe. This scent is heavenly for the kitchen. Very bright and clean. A couple of the other scents are nice, too.

Method Foaming Hand Wash (Sweet Water): Technically, Method does test on animals (a small kind of water bug which maybe a lot of people don't consider on par with bunnies and puppies but it's still a living creature) so I really only buy this scent. The hubs likes to use it to wash his face and it works really well for him so I will continue to buy it.

Bath & Body Works Foaming Hand Soap (Vampire Blood): This only comes out at Halloween so of course I have to buy it. But if you're NOT new here, you know that even though BBW sells in China, I will still buy these kinds of soaps, their candles, and some shower gels because I haven't been able to find anything else that compares. I'm not sorry.

Okay. That'll do it for this installment of my Morgue Drawer. Again, I'll try to do these once a quarter so they're not so much to take in at once (really?).

Ipsy June 2017 Review

For those who may not know, Ipsy is a monthly subscription service. For $10, you will received 4-5 sample (sometimes full sized) makeup, hair, and skin care products along with a reusable makeup bag. Check them out here: IPSY

(I pay for this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones)

20170614_122637.jpg

This month's theme is whatever-who-fucking-cares month. The bag is really cute, though. Canvas on the outside with a nylon lining. I dig it. Let's get into the products, shall we?

Delectable Coconut and Cream Triple Moisture Body Lotion: (by Cake Beauty) I liked the lemon hand cream I got before much better than this. This is very lightweight and absorbs quickly, which is nice. But when I got my Ipsy bag, the second I opened the bubble pack I was smacked in the face with a coconut scent. The tube was still capped and sealed, nothing was broken or torn. But the scent just permeated EVERYTHING. Not very happy about that. I like coconut but dayum. Full size is 8 ounces so this 2 ounce size is valued around $3.50. (CF and Vegan)

Doucce Maxlash Volumizer Mascara (black): I can't report on this yet because I have about 5 open mascaras already. Didn't want to open this just yet. But I love trying new mascaras! Full size goes for $22 (can't seem to find the amount and a lot of mascaras hold between 7mls and 11 mls). So let's say this one is about 8mls so this travel size of 6 mls costs about $16.50 (CF)

Vasanti Cosmetics Power Oils Lip Gloss in Super Mom: Love love love this lip gloss. I'm actually a bit tired of matte lipstick (not that I will stop wearing it, of course) but with summer in full swing, it's nice to switch things up. Super pigmented, not sticky at all, long lasting, this color is gorgeous and will probably look good on almost everyone. Full sized, this gloss goes for $22 - though it's on sale right now for $19. (CF)

TheBalm Cosmetics Balm Springs Blush: I do like getting products from TheBalm. I've really enjoyed a lot of their makeup. This blush is a gorgeous neutral rosy shade. Look very natural, at least on my pasty ass skin. My only issue is the samples they use are so small they're hard to work with. Very difficult to get an even brush full of powder. Still nice though! Full size (5.5g) is $21 so this 1g sample is probably around $4. (CF)

Beauty for Real I-LINE 27-7 Eyeliner in Chocolate Fix: While I admit this color is really nice (sometimes it's hard to find a brown that's neutral or cool toned) the lasting power is for shit. Tightlined with it and within 5 minutes it was gone. It lasted a tad longer on the actual eye lids. Fucking weak. I doubt I'll be reaching for this very often. This is full sized and goes for $14. (I assume CF because the founder works with the SPCA - that'd be MAJOR hypocritical if the brands wasn't CF, yes?).

Wow, the value of this bag is around $57 (give or take a few bucks due to my mathematical prowess). That's not too shabby!

Medusa's Makeup June 2017 Review

So nice to come home from a weekend con in Pittsburgh to see my MM bubble pack waiting for me! If you don't know, Medusa's Makeup is a monthly subscription service. For $16 each month you will receive 3-5 full sized makeup products from MM (as in, it's their specific brand). They are vegan and cruelty free. Check them out here: MEDUSA'S MAKEUP

(I pay for this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones)

Semi Matte/Creamy Lipstick in YOLO: While I despise that name, the shade is pretty. Again, it's a color I probably won't wear. Super hot pink! But it goes on like a dream and feels wonderful. $12

Oh So Natural Lip/Cheek Stain in Raven: It looks like it would be a deep blood red but it's more like a sheer lip balm. It feels great on the lips but on the cheeks, it basically just looks like I put grease on my face. No color at all. So I'll just use it as a lip balm! But that packaging is so dang cute! $8

Totally Baked Eye Shadow in Tubular: GORGEOUS color! I can't even handle it. It seems more pigmented than the last one I got (the pretty gold) and I hope it lasts longer than that one, too. I'm hopeful that because it's a darker color, it will. $9

Shimmer Effect Eye Dust in Jail Bait: Holy schnikies this color is stunning and super pigmented! Just look at it! Now sometimes these kinds of pigments will swatch better than perform but even the Wasabe color didn't swatch this beautifully. I'm super excited about this one. $8

Over all value of $37 is cool by me!

Universal Yums May 2017 Review

Universal Yums is a monthly food subscription service. For $14 (or $25) you get 6+ (or 12+) candy and snack items from a different country. It's a nice way to get just a taste of another culture without having to endure the terrifying world of air travel. Check them out here: UY

May brings us the country of JAPAN (which I believe was the country we had in our very first UY box - and I'm okay with that). Here's some trivia for you (answer at the end of the post): You can get the following out of a vending machine in Japan: A.Underwear; B.Live lobsters; C.Beer; D.Surgical Masks.

Mame Mix: Seems like this is Japan's answer to an American nut mix but in theirs, not only do they have peanuts, but there are peas, broad beans, and seaweed peas (like a crunchy cracker shaped in a ball covered in seaweed bits). All are coated in a little bit of soy sauce. All are freakin' delicious.

Everyburger Cookie: OMG these things are so cute! They look just like little baby hamburgers, down to the sesame seed buns and cheese slices. They taste pretty damn good, too. Just like a sweet vanilla cookie but with a little hunk of solid chocolate in it.

Kasugai Kiwi Gummies: Apparently this is the only repeat item from their first Japan box in 2015. These are absolutely delicious and even have little kiwi seeds inside the gummy.

Ribon Nama Ume Candy: The hard candy is delicious but the middle is filled with salt pickled plums. They're actually not that bad - unlike those salt candies from some god forsaken country last year. I don't PREFER to have a candy end on a salty note but I'm not totally mad at it.

Umaibo Teriyaki Burger & Gyutan Flavor: These are those long tube shaped snacks made from corn and taste like whatever flavor is sprinkled on top. The Teriyaki Burger flavor is okay, kinda salty. But the Gyutan flavor is just ick. Gyutan is beef tongue, by the way.

Sakuma Matcha Milk Candy: These taste basically just like lightly sweetened green tea. Very nice.

Bourbon Petit Caramel Rice Crackers: I don't get the consistency of rice crackers in these treats. They're more like a cross between a butter cookie and melba toast. Super super sweet, I can understand why these are usually paired with green tea in Japan. Nice contrast of flavors.

Rakka Ame Candy: These candies are kind of like peanut brittle but not quite as hard. They crumble and dissolve a little quicker but still have a great salty roasted peanut flavor. Very good!

 

TRIVIA ANSWER: Trick question! All of the above are correct answers. Underwear, live lobsters, beer, and surgical masks are sold in vending machines in Japan, just not all in the same one.

The clue for next month leads us to believe the goodies will be coming to us from Mexico!

Ipsy May 2017 Review

For those who may not know, Ipsy is a monthly beauty subscription. For $10 a month, you receive 4-5 sample (sometimes full sized) makeup, skin, and hair products. Check them out for yourself here: IPSY

(I pay for this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones)

The theme for this month is USELESS. And if you can believe it, the card is even smaller than last time and has even LESS information on it. What. The hell.

I have to admit, though, I kinda like the bag. It's a clear thick plastic that will probably be decent at holding liquids while traveling (NOTE: I've used this a couple of times now and yes, it's good so far). And who doesn't like ice cream? COMMIES, THAT'S WHO.

The little bottle of lotion was an extra I got for cashing in some points. My profile said the points would expire in February so I wanted to hurry up and use them before they disappeared. Soon after I redeemed this little baby, the pop up info told me that the remaining points actually don't expire until 2018. Son of a bitch. The lotion is...okay. Scent is a bit overpowering.

Okay. Now for the actual monthly products:

Global Beauty Care Charcoal Wash Off Mask - stung a little but sometimes that happens with a new mask. I love the twisty top that allows me to seal it back up so the rest of the product doesn't dry out! I can't find a lot of info on them so I'm not sure if they're CF. But I think this is full sized and goes for $5.

Pacifica Beauty Island Life Eye Shadow - I've received a few makeup items from this brand before. I really have enjoyed past eye shadows and these are just as gorgeous. Pretty pigmented but VERY soft so be careful when you want to finger (swatch) them. This palette is exclusive to Ipsy so I have no idea how much it's worth. (CF)

Royal & Langnickel Precision Angled Brush - I've heard a lot about this brand floating around the internets so I was excited to get one in my bag. But...I don't know what to do with it. I don't contour; it's too big for eyes; it's too small for blush. So, yeah. Again, can't find this exact brush on their site so I don't know the cost. But it's vegan so that makes it CF.

Manna Kadar Radiance Split Pan Highlighter/Bronzer Duo - While the sample is a little small to work with, the colors are beautiful. The bronzer will be a better eye shadow on me and the highlight is pretty. Again, can't find any damn info on sizes/amounts but I know it's not full  size (which is $21). It is CF though!

Mellow Cosmetics Creamy Matte Lipstick in Posh: I've never heard of this brand before so I'm glad I get to try something new! This lipstick is awesome. Gorgeous color that is more neutral/cool than warm, goes on smooth, and lasts quite a while without being drying. It's my favorite product this month! Mostly because I'm a lipstick whore. Full size and it's $13 (CF).

Well, I don't really have a value for the bag this month because there just isn't any info out there about some of the items. But I'm pretty sure it's over $10. Though I need to use the mask a few more times to be sure about whether or not it'll fry my face, I'm pretty happy with the rest of the items (even if I can't figure out price points).

Medusa's Makeup May 2017 Review

For those who may not know, Medusa's Makeup is an indie brand in beauty that has a monthly subscription service. For $16 you get 3-5 full sized vegan and cruelty free makeup products. Check them out here: MEDUSA'S MAKEUP

(I purchase this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones)

Ooooohhh....GLITTER!

Glitter in "Pegasus" ($7): It's kind of hard to tell but this glitter has a purple base with blue, green, and gold sparkles. And it's called Pegasus. PEGASUS! I cannot wait to try this (excuse my dry and flaky hands).

Lip Paint in the color "Shag" ($12): This is my second lip paint. And while I like the formula - not too dry, fells comfy - these kinds of watermelon or salmon shades look shitty on me. But it would make a nice base for another color on top (oooh...dirty).

Lip Paint Remover ($10): This is simply a colorless oil that will remove the liquid lipstick once it's dried on your lips - and it works well. Sometimes those things are a BITCH to get off (ooooh...dirty...what is wrong with me?). It basically feels like any kind of oil so if you've already got some of that, you might not need this. But does yours smell a little like cotton candy/burnt sugar? I didn't think so. It's not a strong scent so don't worry about that.

Totally Baked Eyeshadow in "Bitchin" ($9): I had to show you the back sticker on this. So cute! (I accidentally scraped the sticker so it WAS in tact when they sent it) Gorgeous gold shadow, which is one color I don't have and have always wanted. Thank you, MM! Smooth feel, great shine but not glittery, and doesn't fade throughout the day. I used this as a brow bone highlighter and it was perfect (for my skin). It might work as a regular highlighter too. Hmmm...

Aside from the color of the lip paint, I'm in love with this subscription service this month. And it's a $38 value so that ain't too shabby!

LIPP Beautifully April 2017 - FINAL

Well, that didn't take long. After 4 months (for me), LIPP Beautifully is shutting down. For now. After this last month, they have cancelled all subscriptions and are working on growing, I think. Maybe they were bought out or just reorganizing. As much fun as this was, I don't think I'll be signing back up. I've got 12 little clam shells sitting in a bowl on my vanity just waiting to get used. But don't let me stop you from checking them out in the future. LIPP BEAUTIFULLY

It's cool. I have plenty of other stuff to keep my occupied. Again, for now...

For me, the shades in the clam shells ended up not looking like I thought they would once I put them on. But this is a good thing! Except for the last one. Ah, can't win them all!

Every Day: Ode is a beautiful deep blue pink. I thought it was going to be brighter, more neon, so I'm happy it's not.

Trend: Solution is bordering 90s brown. If it didn't have as much of a rose undertone then I'd probably hate it. But it's a nice blend of both colors.

Going Out: Secret is a gorgeous orchid shade. I thought it was going to be straight up hot pink but that blue/purple tone going on makes this color so much more awesome.

Limited Edition: Havana is much more orange than I thought it would be at first glance. It looked more bright cherry red in the sample pot. I don't do orange reds. Not really sure how they look on me. I just don't like the shade. Oh well. Also, whenever I see the word, Havana, all I can think of is Sheriff Bart and Lily VonSchtupp. Inappropes? Like you haven't done the same. Don't lie to me...

For $6 each month, I think this is a good value especially for anyone just getting into makeup or just wanting to try out some sample lip products without a full size commitment. I put their link up top so if you want to join up when they return, just click it and have fun!

Universal Yums April 2017 Review

Sorry this one is a bit later than the last. I just now tried the final goody in the box (wow. just...wow) so I can review everything. For those who don't know, Universal Yums is a subscription service. For $14 or $25 you get a box filled with candy and snacks from a different country. Check them out here: UY

I purchase this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones.

April brings us AUSTRIA! Here's some trivia (answer at the end of the post): Austria is home to the oldest __________ in the world, which opened in 803 A.D.? A. Opera Theater; B. Shopping Mall; C. Chocolate factory; D. Restaurant

There's only one savory treat this month so let's get that over with.

Kelly's American Pizza Rolls: No, they aren't like the kind you get in the freezer. They're little hollowed out tubes of corn snack made to taste like pizza. Which they don't. They basically taste like little salt licks. Ugh.

The rest are all chocolate or, at the very least, nice and sweet!

Sissi Taler: Sissi was Bavarian royalty who ended up marrying Austrian Emperor Franz Joseph. Long story short she had this candy named after her. Filled with apricot marzipan and covered in chocolate, it is a unique flavor to be sure. I gobbled it up in about half a minute.

Heindl Mozartkugel: This confection was named after Mozart because at the time, companies named their stuff after famous people in the region. Though I imagine if he did eat sweets, these would be at the top of the Liszt (sorry, couldn't help it). Pistachio marzipan, covered in nougat, dipped in dark chocolate. HOLY FUCK. It's awesome.

Auer Tortenecken Apfelstrudel: Basically this is like those sugar wafer cookies (the chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry ones, remember those?) but it tastes like apple strudel. I shit you not. Super sweet, the cream filling tastes like apples and cinnamon. It's awesome.

Pischinger Haselnuss Riegel: Another wafer treat, this is chocolate and hazelnut. It's pretty dang good.

Pischinger Mandel Ecke: Yet another wafer cookie, this is supposed to mimic the corner piece, and most coveted slice, of Pischinger's famous torte cake. This is filled with almond creme and covered in chocolate. It's phenomenal!

Blascke Coconut Macaroons: Apparently this is the first time this sweet has been available in the US. I can kinda understand why they'd want to keep this one close. It's light and chewy, great coconut flavor. Nice treat with tea!

Except for those nasty pizza monstrosities, this was a great box. Not quite as good as Poland (which has topped all others in the chocolate department for me so far) but a close second. Next month's clue tells us we'll be seeing goodies from Japan!

TRIVIA ANSWER: D. Austria is home to the oldest restaurant in the world, Stifskeller St. Peter, which is housed inside St. Peter's Monastery in Salzburg. Both Christopher Columbus and Mozart have eaten there.

Medusa's Makeup April 2017 Review

All righty. Moving into the second month of this subscription service! For those who don't know, MM is a monthly makeup subscription service. For $15.95, you'll get 3-5 full sized vegan and cruelty free makeup products. Check them out here: MEDUSA'S MAKEUP

I pay for this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones.

Even though I said I wouldn't, I had to include two extra packing pictures this month. The first is the padded envelope - which is different from last month. I'm not a polka dot kinda gal but how cute it that? Also they included a full color glossy pamphlet/catalog in the bag. Awesomesauce, party of one!

This month I got some great items!

Eyeliner Seal: This is basically a liquid that can transform any loose powder (I'll have to try it on a pressed one and let you know how that goes) into an eyeliner. It looks just like water but I know from past experience that plain water doesn't help the staying power in DIY eyeliner. The first time I used this (with the eye dust I got this month) was a disaster. Too much liquid. The second time was SO much better. See? I do have a learning curve, flat as it may be most of the time...Got more pigmentation and it lasted ALL DAMN DAY (though if I touched it, the eyeliner would smudge). And I only need a couple drops each use so this is going to last a loooong time.

Eye Dust in Helter Skelter: This loose pigment is a gorgeous blue black color. I think there's glitter in it but I can't be sure. Beautiful color, though maybe not knocking my socks off like last month's Wasabe. But I'm excited to play with it some more, maybe use my glitter glue to see what the color pay off will be.

L to R: Blush swatch; Helter Skelter with eyeliner seal; Helter Skelter dry swatch

L to R: Blush swatch; Helter Skelter with eyeliner seal; Helter Skelter dry swatch

Blush in Georgia Peach: HUGE pan size for this blush. Beautiful peach shade that needs a little bit of a light hand in application as it's pretty pigmented. The compact has a nice big mirror, too!

Eyeliner brush: Though the bristles on the brush aren't tapered or narrow enough for me to get a clean line, it does make short work of filling in a giant wing! Also works great if you're just wanting to get the color across your lash line and don't need to worry about it being super thin. Very soft, though if you use it to mix the powder and eyeliner seal, it soaks it all up and that's a pain in the ass. So live and learn!

A $36 value this month which is awesome because these products are going to last me a long time! Also, as a subscriber, I got a 15% off on-line order code AND another 10% off code in my email. AWESOME!

Ipsy April 2017 Review

Well, March came in like a lion this year, eh, midwesterners? Let's hope April has showers to bring May flowers and not too much more of Mother Nature's menopause specials. I don't know about the rest of you but our fence has almost been pulled out at least twice by all these wind storms!

Anyway, this post is about Ipsy. For those who may not know, Ipsy is a monthly subscription service where, for $10, you receive 4-5 sample (sometimes full) sized makeup, hair, and skin care products. Check them out for yourselves here: IPSY

I purchased this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones.

Have no idea what the theme is this month because I didn't bother to look at the card as it has NO useful info on it at all. Lemme go to the website. Hang on..."Sideshow". What the fuck is that supposed to mean? OMG so useless.

The bag itself is hilarious! I love the ticket shape, like what you'd get at a carnival or whatever. But the material is vinyl or something that feels like very tough stiff (*rowr*) rubber. Probably pretty durable, though. Meh. Let's get to the products.

Hikari Cosmetics Cream Pigment Eye Shadow: I believe the color is Honeydew. Looks like a frosty pink with a hint of peach behind it. It's beautiful. The texture is like a Colourpop shadow - feels like a cream but goes on like a powder. Using a brush is pretty much useless, though, unlike CP. Hardly any pigment pay off. But with a finger it's very nice. Could be used as a highlighter, too, because there's no glitter. Can't find an amount on the website for full size but I'm guessing this is a sample (because full size comes in a pot) but a decent sized sample. Let's call it half price and valued at $6.50. (CF)

Colourpop Creme Gel Pencil: You know how much I love CP. So I was excited for this product. The shade is Best O (oh my...) and is a deep burgundy. It looks kind of brown in the swatch below but on the eye it's much more reddish purple. Smooth and creamy, these are great eyeliners. HOWEVER - they are soft so break easily; I also had trouble getting the color to show up on top of the eye shadow. Had to work at it. Full size and is $5.00 (CF)

Touch in Sol No Poreblem! Primer: Interesting primer. It looks like a lotion. Feels like silicone. But once it absorbs, which it does FULLY, your skin just feels smooth and soft. It actually does look like it diminishes the appearance of pores. So cool. I only used it once but with just a translucent powder so I can't speak to it's ability to help makeup last longer. I'll let you know. Full size is $18 so this sample (the tube felt almost empty which is a bit of a rip off) is about $3. (CF)

Tried to do a quick look with the shadow and liner so forgive the messy brow powder and mascara.

Tried to do a quick look with the shadow and liner so forgive the messy brow powder and mascara.

Hanalei Aloe Soothing Gel: I do like aloe gel. Granted, this has aloe powder as it's EIGHTH ingredient but I'll still give it a shot. It does smell fresh and more like cucumbers than aloe but what the hell. Full size at 100g is $30 so this 10g sample is about $3.00 (CF)

Luxie Beauty Dreamcatcher Precision Foundation Brush 660: I am never mad at brushes. And I've received Luxie Beauty ones in the past and they are awesome. I don't use brushes for foundation but I'm sure I'll have no trouble finding another use for this one. Full size and is $23.00 (Vegan and CF)

I'm gonna round the numbers around and say this month was around a $40 value. I've had better. Think I've had worse. But I like everything in this bag AND they're all cruelty free so I'm all right with it!

Lipp Beautifully March 2017 Review

Already in my third month on this? How is that possible?

For those who don't know, I just joined this service in January. For $5.95 a month you get 4 samples of lipsticks (Trend, Going Out, Every Day, Limited Edition) with 4 sponge applicators. The samples are a good size so you'll get a 5-7 uses from each one to really test out the product. Use the code "10OFFGENERAL" to get 10% off your first month. If you join, as a subscriber you will get another code each month to get $5 off a purchase from their store (excluding Limited Edition shades). Check them out here: LIPP BEAUTIFULLY

(I pay for this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones)

Only one shade this month gave me the blahs because of shade, pigmentation, and feel. But the other three are beautiful.

TREND: Script is similar to last month's Verde color but with a bit more red tone so it looks like a warm rose-berry shade. Thick and creamy this is a gorgeous color and feels so nice on the lips.

EVERY DAY: Absence is my least favorite. It's too light for my skin (looks like concealer), very thin formula, and it's a bit streaky. Might be nice to mix in with other shades or use like a highlight in the center of the lips.

GOING OUT: Crime is a GORGEOUS bright cherry red color. This would be great for a pin up makeup look. Similar formula to Script.

LIMITED EDITION: Fiji is probably my favorite, even after that red one! Though the formula is a bit thin and streaky (like Absence) the color is stunning. I love it!

Very beautiful options this month and I might just go buy Fiji!

Universal Yums March 2017 Review

Coming at you a little late on this one. Didn't have the time to open it any sooner! March has been a little crazy.

For those who don't know, Universal Yums is a monthly subscription service. For $13 (or $25) you get a box full of candy and snacks from around the world. Check them out here: UY

(I purchase this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones)

March brings us goodies from Israel! Here's some trivia for you (answer at the bottom of the post): Which of these is banned in Israel? A. Underweight supermodels; B. Two-piece swimsuits; C. Public displays of affection; D. Tanning beds

I tried to take more close up pics of the snacks this time so I hope that helps! And yes, instead of writing our names at the top of the rating list, I just drew the faces indicating our preferences.

Elite Mekupelet: This has a crumbly texture which I don't prefer with my chocolate. Apparently the method of creating this is a highly guarded secret at Elite. That's all right because it just tastes okay. It's sort of like what the cheap chocolate here tastes like.

 

Bamba: Another one of those corn puff snacks that is made to taste like something else entirely. These smell like Peanut Butter Captain Crunch but taste like straight up peanut butter. Really good! And apparently a group of scientists discovered some new allergy information using these puffs.

 

Chocolate Gelt: These chocolate coins are traditionally given to kids at Hanukkah to use when playing Dreidel. They're a smooth bittersweet chocolate (but not nearly as smooth as the last item on this review) which is not my favorite thing but I can see how they might become addictive. We also got a bonus item - a dreidel! There are even instructions on the pamphlet explaining how the game works (for people like me who didn't already know).

 

Vanilla & Walnut Achva Halva: Another one of those flaky dry layered sweets, the flavor on this is mild. It's more sesame than vanilla, which is obvious, and the walnuts add a nice bitterness to it. Though this isn't very sweet so I'm not sure it needs it. It was okay.

 

Bisslie Remix: I don't mind the wheat base in this. I like the crunchy texture. But the flavors are blech. The "smoky" is a bit overpowering and the "grill" doesn't taste like anything. 

 

Abadi Falafel Mini Bagels: This crunchy little snack ended up being the hubby's favorite. I mostly taste chickpea and cumin but maybe that's what falafel tastes like, which I've never had. They were okay so I'm leaving them all for the hubs.

 

Elite Chocolate Bar with Popping Candies: By far my favorite item in the box this month! The chocolate is smooth and creamy and super rich. The popping candies (aka Pop Rocks) aren't huge so it's not like you've just dumped a packet in your mouth and followed up with chocolate. They're pretty small and dispersed throughout the bar. Though I have to say - CHEW THOROUGHLY. Don't let one of those un-popped popping candies pop IN your throat. Learn from my mistakes, people.

This has probably been my least favorite box so far but I'm not mad about it. I still enjoy every month that comes through. It's too much fun not to!

The clue for next month makes us think it'll be Austria (with Mozart in the clue, how could it NOT be?).

TRIVIA ANSWER: A. Underweight supermodels are banned in Israel in order to fight eating disorders. France, Spain, and Italy have all instituted a similar ban. (Bloggers Note: which makes sense they are countries known for their FOOD!)

Medusa's Makeup March 2017 Review

All righty folks. I was researching a bunch of cruelty free subscription services and came across this one. I've heard of the brand, Medusa's Makeup, from Tori over on YouTube (I think). It's made in the US and all cruelty free and vegan (the vegan part doesn't mean that much to me - just the CF status). They have a monthly subscription service where for $16, you get 3-5 full sized MM's products. Pretty awesome. Check them out here: MEDUSA'S MAKEUP

I purchase this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones.

I took a ton of pictures for this first review so you can get an idea of how everything comes each month. I won't be quite so detailed in the future.

Similar to the Ipsy pink bubble pack (this one has a little more purple to it - not that it matters but...shut up), all the items come in this envelope with extra bubble wrap around the products inside. And UNLIKE Ipsy, the card included has all the product info WITH pictures AND pricing! See the size comparison of cards below between MM and Ipsy. Fucking weak-ass Ipsy card...

Anyhoo...

The products I got in my first month are pretty fucking tits. Granted, I don't like half of them but the sizes are great and the products themselves are cool. Let's get into it.

Stick It Eye Primer: This I don't like. It's one of those wax based eye primers that just don't work on my oily lids. When I first used it, and put the eye dust over it, the green pigment really popped! But within an hour or two, it had faded and creased like a mother fucker. This probably works better for people who have normal to dry eyelids. I'll see if I can find another use for it because it feels nice on the skin. Maybe for my nails/cuticles...? 

Lip Paint in Get Lucky: I like the product itself. Goes on rather smooth and it's pretty dang pigmented. But I don't like the color. A little too bright/neon for me and it can look kind of streaky at first. I think that's an issue for most bright or neon colors because of the white base needed to create it so it probably takes a little practice to get it to look really good (though I got it to look good for the swatch). But it didn't feel super dry. It was very comfortable!

Lipstick in Lydia: Now THIS is right up my alley. Love love love the shade, a soft lavender. The lipstick is very creamy, pigmented, and felt so great on the lips. A little similar to Colourpop's Marshmallow but a bit brighter with less grey. The packaging for the lipstick is freakin' awesome.

Eye Dust in Wasabe: My final product is a loose mineral pigment in a gorgeous bright green shade. The swatch below does NOT do it justice but it's a nice alternative if you want to go soft. It works best with a wet base underneath (like the primer but I used a glitter glue the first time I wore it and that shit didn't budge for 12 hours). That's when the color really explodes. Gorgeous! 

That's it for the first month. A $39 dollar value (see, the math is already done for me on the card!) for $16 is fucking sweet. I'm super happy with this service so far. Yes, it's just one month but what a first month! If anyone wants the lip paint or the primer just let me know. It's yours.

Ipsy March 2017 Review

Well, it looks like there's a slight change in the Ipsy set up this month. Instead of a big card filled with useless platitudes and bullshit, it's now a tiny card with useless platitudes and bullshit. I'm wondering if the smaller card and larger bag are related in any way...

For those who may not know, Ipsy is a monthly subscription service. For $10 you receive 4-5 sample (sometimes full) sized products in a reusable makeup bag. Check them out for yourselves here: IPSY

(I pay for this with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones)

Not sure if the "Pretty is as pretty does" is the theme but who fucking cares anyway? The bag is larger than what's been sent in the past. Maybe a couple extra inches...and who doesn't like a couple extra inches, amirite? The bag feels like microfiber, is a pretty peach/pink color, and the design on the front is kinda cool. Have to say I'm digging this bag. It'll be great for travel. The products are:

Air Repair Skincare Complexion Boosting Moisturizer: I do like to try different moisturizers. Never heard of this but it touts being great to help repair damage and sooth dry skin. $21 for full size so this 10ml sample is about $3.50 (CF)

Cake Beauty Desserted Island Surpeme Body Mousse: Sometimes body and hand creams can be hit or miss. This feels very light but moisturizing. I'll let you know how it does but it smells heavenly (coconut and vanilla). Full size is $22 so this sample is $2.75. (CF)

Tarteist Quick Dry Matte Lip Paint: I can't tell if I got Rose or Delish. Both colors on line look the same but NOT what it looks like on me. It's a very warm terra cotta shade on my lips so I don't like it. The formula, however, does exactly what it says. It dries in seconds! It also doesn't feel drying, almost like there's nothing on your lips at all. It's totally transfer proof, until you eat something oily at least. Not sure about just water. But I'll see if anyone else wants this because I won't wear it. Full size is $20 so this 6ml sample is just over $3. (CF)

Doucce Freematic Eyeshadow in Marisa: The swatch doesn't really do this shade justice. It's got a bronze/pink shift to it (sort of like Urban Decay Fireball or Colourpop's Come and Get It). In the pan it looks rosy but not so much on the eyes. You can use this wet or dry depending on the look you want. I can't tell from their site but this looks like a full sized pan and it's worth $10. (CF)

Elizabeth Mott Blending Brush: LOOOOVE when they put in makeup brushes. And this one is so dang soft! I can't wait to use it. Full size and is worth $15. (CF)

All righty. This month's bag is worth just about $34. Not terrible, considering I'm kind of excited about all the products AND the bag is bigger than before. And everything is cruelty free. Whoop!

 

Lipp Beautifully February 2017 Review

All righty. Month two of my new subscription from Lipp Beautifully. In case you missed it, LB is a cruelty free monthly subscription service where, for $5.95, you get 4 samples of lipsticks plus 4 sponge tip applicators. Members also get a special coupon to use each month at the LB store (which I can't share with you - sorry). They did, however, give me a coupon code you can use to get 10% off your first month. Head over to LIP BEAUTIFULLY and enter '10OFFGENERAL' at check out!

(I purchase this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones)

Not sure how I feel about this month. I'll post swatch pics on my lips, too, but for now you can get a pure pigment feel of what these lipsticks look like. I did get the same styles as last month (left to right): Trend, Every Day, Going Out, and Limited Edition. So now I know that's what I'll get each month! Again, the lipsticks are creamy, super pigmented, and last on the lips quite a while. The pink or red based ones definitely stain the lips, even after just a minute or two! But these colors this month, on me.....meh.

The Trend color, QUOTA, is straight up orange. I just can't pull that shit off. HYPOCRITE is a pretty blue based Barbie pink but it's way too light and washes out even a pasty-assed white girl like me. PERFECTION is basically a deeper version of Hypocrite but it just looks odd. If I put a little Hypocrite over it, it's not terrible. My favorite was VERDE, a brown-pink nude. I'm not really a brown lipstick kinda gal (way to 90s for me) but with the pink base going on, it actually looks very nice. So I'll definitely wear that one!

I'm glad I got to try these colors. If I had received full tubes of the first three, I would have been pissed because I won't wear them. But that's what makes this sample subscription so awesome. Very little waste! See you all next month for another review.

3B February 2017 Review (FINAL)

I was kind of on the fence about this subscription. While I love receiving beauty products from Asia every month, the skin care stuff has been 50/50 and they haven't sent any make up in months. However, before I could cancel my service, I got an email that said the company was being bought out and while they reorganize and restructure, all customers' subscriptions are being canceled.

Well...there you go.

Not sure if I'll try to find another one (there is one out there around the same price that tries to include all cruelty free products - in South Korea anyway) or maybe I'll sign up for another snacks service but specific to Korea or Japan. Thoughts?

So here is my final review on the 3B beauty box. I hope you've enjoyed them all!

February.jpg

Wei Beauty Chinese Rose Foaming Cleanser: I think it's been the WEI products that have broken me out the most, or irritated the fuck out of my skin. I'm terrified to even try this so I probably won't. (China-CF)

My Beauty Diary Squalene Restorative Mask: Apparently squalene is a natural lipid that your skin already produces. This mask is supposed to be great for moisture, preventing fine lines, and ease dry patches. Sounds good to me! (Taiwan - ?)

DHC Care Deep Cleansing Oil: I do love cleansing oils. I don't know why. This stuff is great for removing make up, even waterproof, while nourishing the skin with olive oil. I'm in! (Japan - CF but ships to China)

SkinRx Madecera Cream: This has naturally fermented ceramide - seems like the beauty ingredient of the year - to help heal and repair skin. Well okay then! (Korea-CF)

The Face Shop Jeju Volcanic Lava Nose Strips: I don't have blackheads but I love using these things to get all that gunk that clogs up the pores around my nose. And I know that Jeju Island has the most coveted mud for all sorts of beauty products (I've wanted to get the mud mask for a long time but it's always sold out everywhere). So this should be fun! (Korea-NCF)

I didn't bother looking up the value of the samples this month. Just didn't really feel necessary. But I do plan to try 4 of the 5 products in this bag, which is pretty cool.

Good bye, 3B. Hope everything works out for your future!

PDs, MEHs, and GFYs February 2017

I don't have a lot of stuff that moved me or made me super angry these past few months. But compared to the Morgue Drawer I just typed up, this will be a welcome relief.

PANTY DROPPERS

Tarte Cosmetics Shape Tape concealer: There was a shit ton of hype over this on YouTube and there's good reason. This shit is awesome. The tube is HUGE so you get a ton of product (.34 ounces is much more than standard concealer tubes). It's creamy and blends well; great coverage; very little creasing (even for those of us with more wrinkles than others). Tarte has since come out with more shades so that's cool. I could probably even go one shade darker in this. I have 'Light' and it's very bright on me. It is pricey but worth it, as most Tarte stuff is. (CF)

ELF Lip Exfoliator: I have the Cherry Tart flavor and I love it. It's shaped like a regular lip stick but it's a sugar scrub. Lots of people think it's too dry but I think it's perfect. There's a nice balm left behind after the sugar melts. It's a great lip prep. (CF)

 

MEHs

Essence Lash Princess False Lash Effect: This is supposed to be more voluminous than the original Lash Princess but I didn't find that to be true at all. Looks more natural and the product tends to get clumpy around the opening of the tube and a bit on the brush. (CF)

ELF Poreless Face Primer: This is so MEH that I mentioned in my November post back in 2016. Kept trying it out and yep, it's still pretty average. Most of the bottle is left so I'm going to donate it somewhere. (CF)

LA Girl Glazed Lip Paint: Gorgeous color but it goes on patchy. It's also has just an angled plastic tip (no sponge) so it's nearly impossible to apply neatly. (CF)

 

GO FUCK YOURSELVES

Etude House Moistfull Deep Cream: This stuff left my skin super greasy the next morning and I'm pretty sure it broke me out. LAME. (CF but sells in China)

Benefit Dew the Hoola liquid bronzer: First off there's barely enough product in this sample to get a really good idea how it looks. Second it broke me out. Fucking weak. (NCF)

Mint Pear beauty sponge: It felt like I was beating myself in the face with a rock. Thanks for the black eye, asshats. (CF)

Wei Rapid Glow Liquid Milk: I wasn't sure if this broke me out until the second time I used it and holy balls my skin fucking HATES this shit. I think I'm done with Wei products. (CF)

Essence Super Fine liquid liner pen: This pen dried out waaaay to fast and it smudges like a bitch. Ugh. (CF)

 

Short, sweet, and to the point. That'll do, pig. That'll do.