The Monkey Is In.

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I'm a writer of horror and dark fiction. I've been doing this since 1999 and believe me when I say, it's cheaper than therapy and safer for the world at large.

Filtering by Tag: ColourPop

PDs, MEHs, and GFYs March 2019

Welcome to the first Likes/Dislikes post of 2019! For anyone new, this is a post where I sing the praises, or bitch like a curmudgeonly old biddy, about products I’ve tried over the past few months. The categories are: Panty Droppers, Mehs, and Go Fuck Yourselves.


PDs

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The Potion Cabinet Shower Gel (Witch’s Cold Brew): This is an Etsy story that offers bath products, collectibles, and more. This scent is listed as: a warm cup of espresso, cocoa bean, steamed milk and vanilla chai topped with whipped cream and a touch of rum. Mostly, I only smelled the vanilla and rum, maybe a little bit of the cocoa. IT WAS HEAVENLY. I like the gel itself - leaves my skin soft and the scent doesn’t linger, which I prefer.

Merchant of Gallifry Roll-on Fragrance: Another Etsy store (yes, I’m addicted) but it looks like they don’t make perfumes anymore. There is a bunch of scented stuff, though. Loved this perfume. I believe the notes were mango and rose but I couldn’t necessarily pick out either. They melded together wonderfully for a very unique scent.

Milani Retouch and Erase Light-Lifting Concealer: I haven’t used this up, but it’s really old, and I think it’s starting to turn. It’s a fantastic concealer for me. My under eyes are much dryer now than when I was younger, and this is one of the only concealers that doesn’t look like total shit on me. Will be repurchasing.

Carol’s Daughter Frappe Body Lotion (Almond Cookie): I’ve used Carol’s Daughter’s hair products before (which SUCK ASS) so I almost didn’t get this. I needed a body lotion that worked better than what I already had (see the MEHs section below) and the scent on this is fantastic! Smells like straight up, fresh baked almond cookies. And the lotion is nice and thick, but absorbs quickly and lasts a long time. Highly recommend!!


MEHs

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PUR Fully Charged Magnetic Mascara: This does give good volume, but no length, so my lashes look stubby. It’s a great layering mascara, though! Not sure how it’s anti-aging…what the fuck? Who believes that kind of shit?

Flower Beauty Light Illusion Full Coverage Concealer: While this is a good shade (it’s just about the same color as my skin so it blends in well) and it’s lightweight, it’s definitely not full coverage. It’s also not crease-proof, looks SUPER dry under my eyes and anywhere I use it to cover blemishes or spots.

Everyone Body Lotion (Lavender & Aloe): While the scent on this is really nice (great to use before bedtime,) it doesn’t seem to really moisturize my skin. Absorbs fast - or maybe it just poofs off into the ether - because my skin doesn’t fell any different after using it. It also says you can use it for face, hands, and body. Um…no. No, you can’t. This is NOT good for the face.

GFYs

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Colourpop BFF Mascara: Now, anyone who’s been here a while, knows I love Colourpop. I did a whole review on a bunch of products HERE. So when they came out with mascaras, I was pumped. I got a red and black one (so far, I don’t know of any other brand that makes a red mascara.) I can only speak to the red for this review because I tried that and REFUSE TO EVEN LOOK AT THE BLACK. This shit fucked up my eyes for two days. They itched, swelled up (not to the point of impairing my vision, though), and produced excessive amounts of goop. Fucking what the fuck, Colourpop? People were reviewing this like it was the Second Cumming of Christ, and even if it wasn’t for my bad reaction, the mascara itself is pretty lame. Doesn’t volumize or lengthen or ANYTHING. Fucking useless shite.

Joah Eye Scream Volume & Lengthening Mascara: I’ve only tried a couple of products from Joah (lipstick, eyebrow pencil, and this - I think.) It’s a hit and miss brand, but this stuff was HORRIBLE. It’s a fiber mascara that does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING for the lashes. However, it DOES get onto your eyeballs and poke the fucking shit out of them. Eye Scream is a pretty accurate description. So…there’s that. Fuck you, Joah.

That’s it for this (what I hope will be) quarterly report of awesome and suckage. See you next time!

PDs, MEHs, and GFYs 2018 Year End

Again…gah. I haven’t done one of these for MONTHS, but I hope to get back into a regular schedule for 2019. For those who are new, instead of doing the generic “Likes and Dislikes” or “Fails and Favorites,” I call my list of crap I liked and hated as “Panty Droppers, Mehs, and Go Fuck Yourselves.”

Enjoy.

PDs

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Tarte Rainforest of the Sea Foundation: I don’t usually spend my money on high-end makeup. Tarte is the exception. I prefer light coverage foundations, if I wear them at all, and this is perfection. It lasts all day on me and looks as good at the end of the day, as it did after first application. I had to get a new bottle, though, because my previous one expired before I could use it up. Right now I have Fair-Light Neutral, but I probably could switch to Fair Beige (they came out with a few new shades since I first bought it.)

Stila Huge Extreme Lash Mascara: I got this as a sample in one of my Ulta orders this year. And I didn’t want to like it because Stila is one of those high-end brands. But DAMMIT! This stuff makes my lashes look long, thick (rowr) and gorgeous.

A’Pieu Finger Blusher: This came in a 3B subscription bag (aaaaaages ago.) I can’t believe how long it lasted. The smell just started to go off, so I had to toss it. But if I can find this again, I would repurchase. Perfect cream blush - blends out beautifully, and the peach shade I had was very natural. One of the best blushers I’ve ever used. I don’t think they make it anymore, but YesStyle has a ton of A’Pieu products, so maybe one of the blushes in there will work as well…?

Lunatik Cosmetic Labs Lipstick in Lacrimosa: This has been one of my favorite shades of lipstick in a long time. The description from their website: Lacrimosa is a translucent shade with a pink hue packed with a kaleidoscope of color shifting sparkles. I got it back in 2014, I think, at a convention. Unfortunately, the bullet completely dried up and it’s now impossible to get any pigment out of it. Which makes me incredibly sad. So I guess I’ll have to go get another one!

I forgot to include these babies in the PDs pic above, so they’ll get special treatment. I know a lot of people don’t like the metallic lip look, because it makes the lips appear older/aged. Personally, I don’t care. I love how shiny the Metal Shock is (shade: Mercury,) and the Vibrant Shock (shade: Nightstalker) is just a gorgeous shock of color. Obvi.

The Vibrant Shock seems a teeny streaky at first, but you can definitely work with it to look just fine on the lips. These do dry down, but don’t become transfer proof. They’re just a titch sticky, but not the “sweet baby Jesus it’s gonna be 10 minutes before my lips separate!” kind of sticky.

MEHs

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Wet n Wild Tour & Tease Lip Balm: It’s a nice soft wash of color, but sooooo drying. This might be one of those multi-use products (lips and cheeks) and, if so, that explains the dryness. Never has any dual product felt nice on either part of the face. Blech.

The Ordinary Serum Foundation: I love the thin consistency and light coverage; the shade is pretty good, too. But it makes my skin look like a 4000-year old papyrus notebook found in some Egyptian angsty teenager’s sarcophagus. Ugh.

BH Cosmetics Naturally Flawless Foundation: Really good coverage and a nice shade. But, again, makes my skin look super dry, and my pores appear the size of Iowa. Ah….no thanks.

Catrice Glam and Doll False Lashes Waterproof Mascara: I wanted to try the waterproof version of this because the regular version makes my lashes so long, the product transfers all over the damn place. This isn’t quite that good, PLUS it’s nearly impossible to remove. Hence, the reason I rarely wear waterproof makeup.

Essence Lash Princess Sculpted Volume Mascara: I love the original one (pink details) but this was just okay. The real problem is that it’s thick and gloopy, and never really dries out enough to be more controllable. Too bad.

GFYs

Notoriously Morbid Jinxed Jewels Liquid Eyeshadow in Tempting Devils: I got this little guy in the NM Halloween Advent Calendar. This shit is terrible. They say it can be worn on its own, layered, or over an eye shadow. I tried both, and it looked like hammered shit both times. Completely creased and crumbled off my eye after a few hours. I tried it more than once, just in case I layered it too heavily or not enough. Nope. Fucking awful product. (This is not for individual sale on the site.)

Notoriously Morbid Cosmic Gloss in Brooding Vampires: I’m specifically talking about the Brooding Vampires shade, which I also got in the Advent Calendar (I only took the pic of it with the Smoke & Fire shade to compare they came in the same full size container, but sure as FUCK don’t contain the same amount of product. The sticker may say 2 mls, but you can clearly see the base of the twist up tube is much higher on BV than on S&F. I only twisted the BV tube enough to get the product out - I haven’t worn this shade at all.) Brooding Vampires just came out of the tube as slightly tinted gloop. It never mixed with the base oils so I really don’t know what color this is supposed to be. Weak, and a little shifty on the packaging, NM. (For some reason, there are no links to get their Cosmic Gloss on the site - not sure what’s up with that because the Smoke & Fire shade is phenomenal.)

Tarte Aqua Concealer: Imagine my surprise when the concealer, in the same line as the foundation I love, makes my under eyes look dryer than a dust covered shelf in a long abandoned castle from the 18th century. Fuck you, Aqua concealer, you lying bitch.

Colourpop No Filter Concealer: See above, sans the corresponding foundation comment. (Full disclosure: I could have sworn they had regular and matte concealer, but all that’s listed on the site is matte - so that would explain the dryness.)

RK Extend Illusion Mascara: At first, I kind of liked this. But the more I wore it, the more I realized it was a tubing mascara, and those little fuckers shed INTO MY EYE BALLS. Fuck that noise. (I can’t find any place that sells this now so…there you go.)

NYX Matte Lip Cream (Moscow): I normally love these, but this particular color is patchy, hard to work with, and gets crumbly as it dries. Which explains why it’s not even for sale on the NYX website. At least they recognize when something sucks.

NYX Strictly Vinyl Liquid Eye Liners: So disappointed in this. I used the red shade once, and it was pretty cool. A few months later, went to use it again, and it was completely dried out. I bought a new bottle, the brown shade this time, and it was almost all dried up when I used it for the first time. Da fuck, NYX?

Catrice HD Liquid Coverage Precision Concealer: You know what this shit covers? Abso-fucking-lutely NADA. I appreciate the applicator design. I need to put concealer in a small, specific spot under my eyes or it becomes a shit show real fast. However, this all just blended away, but it left enough product behind to make my under eyes look like the Sahara. Fuck off, Catrice, you hit-but-mostly-miss beeyotch.

That’s it for 2018! See you on the other side, Ray.

Morgue Drawer June 2018

Here we are again, folks. As the temperatures remain in the nineties, it feels safer to me to stay inside and write up a few blog posts/reviews. So let's start with my trash, eh?

 

AND SO....I DIE...

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These make me sad. There's still product in each container but either the formulas have changed, they smell off, or they tingle against my lips and they're not supposed to do that. So I need to trash them.

Medusa's Makeup Lip Paint Remover: This stuff works great on MM's lip paints but after a while, the smell got horrible and the cap is all sticky and crusty with dried oil. It's basically almond oil, grapeseed oil, and fragrance so I imagine just almond oil will work fine. But they're having a sale right now and it's half off! I might keep the bottle and reuse it for something else. (CF)

Elf Luscious Liquid Lipstick in Nude Pink: I love this color and the formula. It started out smelling like mint but now it smells like menthol so into the garbage it goes. Would totally buy again, though, if they still had this shade. Which they don't. (CF)

Colourpop Lippies: These are probably the oldest CP lippies I own so it makes sense that they smell funny now, or the formulas have changed and actually burn when I put them on. As I have a ton of other lipsticks and glosses, I don't NEED to repurchase. Doesn't mean I won't, though...(L to R) Ultra Glossy Lip in Tight Fit; Ultra Satin in So Wavy, Lost, Petit Four, and Marshmallow (Tight Fit, Lost, and Marshmallow are still available on the CP site). 

 

SCRUB-A-DUB AND SMELL GOOD

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Paul Mitchell Instant Moisture Conditioner: I've been enjoying a lot of Paul Mitchell products lately and the hubby loves this conditioner (and matching shampoo), too! It works pretty well to keep hair clean and moisturized, which is good for me since I bleach my hair now. I ended up buying the bigger size so hubs and I can share. (CF)

Phyto Color Enhancing Hair Mask: I got this sample with an Ulta order, I think. Though it worked really well (at least at moisturizing), it's not a Cruelty Free brand so I won't be purchasing it in the future. It's also $59 for 6 ounces. Uh...no. (NCF)

Purlisse Coconut Oil and Coffee Sugar Scrub: This was a decent scrub, smelled great, but I only got one use out of this sample size. You need to use a lot to cover the whole body (I did, anyway, and I'm not very big). (CF/Vegan)

Mitchum Stick Deodorant: This worked okay. I like the clear gel formula much better. Pretty sure any deodorant that isn't one of the 'natural' brands, isn't cruelty free. (NCF)

Nature's Truth Sweet Almond Oil: I like to use this on my feet and toenails after I shower. It's a nice, light oil, that absorbs quickly into the skin. Good for all over the body, actually. Almond oil is used as a base for other moisturizers because it has no scent. Will buy again (it's not all gone but I poured the remainder into an empty pump bottle for easier dispersement). (CF - ?)

Purple Cat Apothecary Body Butters: Two more from the 5-pack sample set I ordered. The Lemon Chiffon was divine! Lemon and butter cake. The Frostbloom was okay. Kinda floral, kinda minty...hard to pin down. This formula was much thicker and drier than the Lemon one but both worked very well, especially over the almond oil I talked about above. (CF) NOTE: This was originally an Etsy store with art and body products. Apparently, Etsy is making is difficult and more expensive for people to use it as a store front so this woman only has an on-line art store at a separate website. Dammit.

 

SQUEAKY CLEAN

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TN Dickinson's Witch hazel: I like to use this after I do a mud mask. It's great for cleaning off any excess or left behind product without drying out my skin. I know a lot of people hate the smell of witch hazel but it doesn't bother me at all. Very gentle and could be used every day. I think I got mine at the grocery store but it's sold everyone it seems. (CF/Vegan)

Everyone Lavender and Coconut Hand Soap: We've tried a few scents from this brand and I really have enjoyed them all. This and the Lemon/Mandarin one have been been my favorites. Great for the kitchen! (CF)

BBW Good Vibes Only foaming hand soap: I bought this scent to get a deal at Bath and Body Works so I wasn't expecting it to be great but I love it. Even the hubby, who's not one for a lot of scented cleansers, really liked it. But...because it's BBW, and they sell to China, I really have only been keeping my purchases to candles (I love their candles and haven't found anything else to replace them yet). (NCF)

 

 

CHOMPERS AND THE LIKE

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ACT Restoring Mouthwash: I used this stuff every day with Invisalign and now it's just a habit I can't quit. Which is good! My teeth need a lot of help so this fluoride rinse is perfect. Doesn't burn like a mo-fo, either. (NCF)

Tom's of Maine Maximum Strength Sensitive toothpaste: Love this stuff. Will keep buying. (CF)

Simply Creative Living Honey Cherry Almond lip balm: I believe I talked about another lip balm from this company. I got it at my city's Farmer's Market or the 4th of July fair. Can't remember. This was just okay. Probably won't repurchase. (CF)

 

ALL ABOUT THAT FACE

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NO:HJ Sheet Mask: Got this from my monthly subscription, Facestory. It was really nice and it had all these gold colored flowers all over it. I felt so fancy! It's a Korean brand so the cruelty free status is hard to know/confirm.

The Ordinary Buffet serum: I've raved about this product before here but lately, this stuff hasn't been working all that well. It's actually been breaking me out. I know skin can acclimate to a product, making it less effective, even develop reactions to some. Seems that's what's happened here. So while my backup bottles sit unused, I'm trying something else. I'll let you know how it goes. (CF)

Ole Henrickson Banana Bright Eye Cream: Got this in one of my last Ipsy bags, I think. The cream is yellow but not sure it's brightening. It's thick but doesn't absorb that well. In fact, it didn't really do shit. (CF)

SkinRX Labs MadeCera Cream: Another sample product but can't remember where I go it. I really enjoyed it, though. Felt great on the skin and did a good job of moisturizing. Again, SkinRX is Korean so can't confirm or deny cruelty free status.

Formula 10.0.6 Day/Night Cream: I've been using the day and night creams for a while. Still loving them. (CF)

 

ALL SORTS OF STUFF

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The Ordinary Fluid Primer (forgot to put this with the makeup): This stuff is pure shit. When I bought it, the bottle was barely half full (but it wasn't wet or sticky so nothing leaked - it just wasn't filled). Can't get it out of the bottle THROUGH the dropper so I'd just wipe off enough OFF the dropper to put on my face. And then I felt like a total grease ball. I can't even use it up because it feels so gross and my skin hates it. (CF)

Burt's Bees Cleansing Oil: I really like cleansing oils so I thought I'd give BB's version a shot. It's...okay. Smells a little weird and doesn't do a great job but it's fine. I actually didn't finish this yet but I put the remaining product in a travel bottle. (CF)

Nip + Fab Glycolic Cleansing Pads: I got a sample pack of these years ago when I was still getting the Walmart box. And I really liked them so I got this full size at the drug store. Turned out they didn't really do that much for my skin. But I like the travel friendly pre-soaked pads (as opposed to a bottle) even though these felt kind of dry. Maybe that's why they didn't seem to do much. I'd be willing to try them again, though, in case I got a bad batch. (CF)

Manyo Factory Herb Green Cleansing Oil: I'm pretty sure this sample was what started my love of cleansing oils. This stuff was great. Smelled good and did a great job of removing makeup, especially after the heavy stuff I use for convention appearances! It's another Korean brand so I don't know if they're cruelty free.

First Aid Beauty Hydrating Serum (not sure why I didn't put this with the previous stuff): I've used a couple products from this brand before and while I did like them, I don't feel the brand is so superb to be worth the higher price tag. I did really enjoy this, though. (CF)

Ipsy October/November 2017 Review

Well, as per usual, October got away from me. So instead of completely skipping that month's reviews, I thought I'd do some combo work. So let's get October and November together and have us a baby! A review baby, that is...

For those who don't know, Ipsy is a monthly subscription program. For $10 you get 4-5 sample sized (sometimes full) products of makeup, hair, and skin care. Check them out here: IPSY

(I pay for this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones)

OCTOBER

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October's theme was something like The Power of Change. And while I absolutely ABHOR their themes each month, I have to say I love the saying on the small useless card that comes with the bag. This one made me giggle. Also there won't be a lot of pics because there wasn't much to swatch!

It Cosmetics Bye Bye Pores Pressed Powder: I've wanted to try IT for a long time but the brand can be pretty expensive. And I really don't like to drop a lot of money on something that could possibly suck major ass. HOWEVER, this powder is infused with alchemy or dark magic or something. I put this on and my skin never looked smoother (and I have pores the size of Nebraska). It's also great for under eye concealer setting - doesn't make my nearly half a century aged skin look like a full century. And that pisses me off because now I have to buy it!! Be warned - it is very soft and crumbles easily. Full size is $29 so this 3g sample is just under $10. (CF)

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Context Vitamin C All Day Eye Cream: Honestly, I haven't even opened this yet. I have a couple creams going right now but they are almost empty. Once they are, I'll give this guy a shot. From the Context website: "A revitalizing and hydrating lightweight formula contains a powerful combination of preventative botanicals. Keeps eyes protected and nourished with potent antioxidants to protect the delicate area against free radical damage. Leaves skin nourished and refreshed all day." This is a full sized tube and costs $35. (CF)

Smashbox Photo Finish Lid Primer: At first I thought this brand was still NCF but as of 2017, they no longer sell in China and do NOT test their products on animals where required by law. So that's cool! This is also another brand that's on the expensive side so I usually don't purchase from them. But this was a nice way to try the lid primer people go ape shit for. Though I don't know why. It's thick and sticky (here we go...) so it needs to be set first. Even so, my eye shadows still looked kind of patchy and they didn't last any longer. In fact they looked more faded and blended into one color than what usually happens with my Milani eye primer. So I might keep using it, I might pitch it. Depends on my mood. I know I ain't buying the full size at $21. This sample was worth $5.25. (CF)

Hey Honey Active Propolis Cream Concealer: I did like a peel off mask from the brand once, long ago. But this stuff is pretty crap. First the color is a touch too dark and yellow for me and it looks REALLY dry under the eyes. Doesn't do a great job at concealing spots on the face either. Full size goes for $36 so this 8mls sample is just about $19. (CF)

Forgive my dry crepey centuries old looking mummy hand...eeeesh.

Forgive my dry crepey centuries old looking mummy hand...eeeesh.

Blaq Mask: I do love face masks, in all their forms. I haven't had a chance to try this but look at that color! (see pic above). It's also a peel off mask, mostly aimed at the blackheads and gunk around the nose. But I bet you can use it anywhere. If you've never tried a peel off mask, there are plenty on the market. And they're so fun. The full size on this costs $29. The sample I got should run around $7.25. (CF)

UPDATE: I've tried this mask twice. And while it's fun, it initially leaves the skin red and irritated but that does fade over a few hours. I also broke out with fresh zits after each use. So......no. It's going away now.

All right, October. The bag value is about $76.50. Holy shitzies (I stole that from thataylaa on YT). And all the products are Cruelty Free brands. SCORE!

 

NOVEMBER

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November's theme is who cares. I'm torn on the bag right now. I'm not a bronze and yellow kinda gal (though it's close to the brown and gold colors of my alma mater, Valparaiso - GO CRUSADERS!). I'm still thinking about keeping it.

Benefit They're Real Mascara: Benefit isn't a cruelty free brand so I won't be using this. I don't think I've ever tried anything from Benefit, even before I started paying attention to CF stuff. *shrug* (Oh wait - their Porefessional primer. Made me break out. Fuck 'em.) Full size is $24 so this sample is about $8.50. (NCF)

Colourpop Pressed Eyeshadow in Come and Get It: Anyone who's read my one-brand review of Colourpop knows I love the brand. And, naturally, I already own this eye shadow. It's gorgeous, a "duochrome rose with a gold flip". I own about a dozen of their pressed shadows and they've all been very good. This is no exception. This is full size and goes for $5. (CF)

The White Company White Lavender Body Lotion: I just opened this tube so I could at least give my first thoughts on it. There is a nice lavender scent but underneath it there's something...grassy. Must be the vetiver. Kinda weird. But it absorbs really fast and my hands aren't greasy. Huh. If the scent lingers too long or it's too overpowering for the hubby, I might just donate it. Can't really find any info on the cruelty free status of this company but it's based in London and I believe it's illegal to test on animals in Europe. The full size is $20 so this sample goes for $4 (CF...?)

Manna Kadar Perfection Powder: I've had MK items before and I think they've been hit and miss. This powder is actually super nice. It's a lot like the It Cosmetics powder I got last month...way to switch things up, Ipsy (*sarcasm*). Full size is $29 but I can't find any info on how much is in the full size. This looks similar to the It Cosmetics sample so let's just price is out the same at $10. (CF)

Make Beauty Cream Luminous Lip Gloss in Abalone: I believe I've received a thing or two from Make before in Ipsy but I'd have to go back and look because I just can't remember. This is a nice gloss. Not sticky, decent amount of color (for a gloss), and feels very comfortable. Nice nude color, too. Got a weird ass applicator, though, that makes it difficult to apply neatly. Plus it's very...phallic. Not that that's a BAD thing. Full size is $25 but again, can't find total product weight so let's give this sample about $8. (CF)

Give or take a few bucks to adjust for guesstimates on sample value, $36 is okay. Let's see what December has in store for us.

PD, MEHs, and GFYs November 2017

Oh MAN it's been too long since I've bitched about shit. I'm about to lose my Old Lady card and get kicked out of the Wool Shawl in Summer club. This post, though, should help get my tennis ball footed walker cred back.

For those of you who are new, welcome. This is my version of Favorites and Fails, Winners and Losers, or whatever the crazy kids are calling it on YouTube these days. Enjoy.

PDs (Panty Droppers)

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Secret Key Lemon D-Toc Peeling Gel: This was my first exposure to a peeling gel. It's the consistency of aloe gel but smells like lemons. Actually kind of like artificial science lab kind of lemons but I could deal with that. You rub this on cleansed skin and those little balls that end up rolling around? That's all your dead skin clumping together so it can be rinsed away. I know it sounds gross but once you try it, and feel how AMAZINGLY soft your skin is after, you'll never doubt again. This is the old packaging so when shopping, look for the new bottle (in the link). I'm using the brand Skinfood's version now (pineapple, smells much better).

Formula 10.0.6 Picture Perfect Day: My new favorite day cream. Absorbs pretty well (does linger a bit on the skin's surface), no pungent smell, and has SPF 15. I'm almost ready for my 3rd bottle.

Formula 10.0.6 PM Perfector: My new favorite night cream. It's thick but light at the same time. I'm not sure how to describe it. It absorbs faster than the day cream, I think. And my skin feels nice in the morning.

Colourpop Brow Boss Pencil (in Soft Black): As most of you know, I don't have much in the way of eyebrows. But at the same time, when I want to fill them in, I don't like a heavy drawn on look. Powders usually work well for me or colored brow gels. Most pencils are so soft they come off very heavy and greasy looking. This is perfection. It's very thin, waxy (so it's not creamy/greasy), and allows me to draw in more realistic looking brow hair. And it's $5! Come on!

Essence Plump no Clump Mascara: I think this is the dupe of the Cover Girl Clump Crusher mascara, which I've tried and I loved. But once I started going cruelty free, I needed an alternative. This is it. It separates my lashes well, doesn't clump (duh), and doesn't transfer all over the place. UNFORTUNATELY, it's no longer sold at Ulta, the Essence US site doesn't have it, and Amazon is all out. It might be discontinued. FUCK ME.

 

MEHs (Meh, obviously)

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Precious Skin Elixirs Exfoliating Clay: It's one of those dry powders that you mix with just a little water right in your hand and smear all over your face. It was a nice exfoliator but I woke up the next morning the greasiest grease monkey that every greased. UGH.

Soap & Glory Sugar Crush Body Wash: While I love the scent of Sugar Crush, the wash is way too thin so you have to use a lot to get it to cover your entire body (bow chicka BOW WOW). By the time I got to the bottom of the bottle, it was mostly like mixing water with water to wash myself. LAME.

Doucce Maxlash Volumizer Mascara: The mascara did a nice job of thickening my lashes and they looked great. But the next morning, even after taking off my makeup the night before, my eyes were all red and irritated and goopy. Ew.

Tarte Amazonian Clay Gifted Mascara: This stuff was great at first. I even posted on IG about it. But the longer I used it, the gloppier the mascara got and it made my lashes look like a 60s spidery mess. And that sucks.

Tony Moly Cooling Eye Stick: This was very cooling on the skin. It felt great! But it totally broke me out. I don't usually get pimples in my under eye area but I did after using this. Boooo.

 

GFYs (Go Fuck Yourselves)

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Catrice Prime & Fine Brightening Eye Shadow Base: This doesn't do shit for helping eye shadow last or look more intense. It's actually kind of shimmery which is fine if that's what you want. Otherwise I'd stick to NYX's jumbo eye pencil in Milk. ALSO, this changed color after only a couple of months. Gross.

Essence Forbidden Volume Mascara: If they mean it was forbidden to make a mascara that does what it says on the bottle then they hit the mark. No volume whatsoever. It was gloppy and smudged EVERYWHERE. Fucking weak.

Air Repair Super-Hydrating Eye Cream: Holy hell this stung like a mother fucker. I had to wipe it off immediately which kind of defeats the purpose, right? Totally useless.

Colourpop Brow Boss Gel: This stuff is more like a thick lotion so it never really dries down. It also doesn't last for more than a few hours which is fine because IT DOES NOTHING. I don't have a lot of brow hairs but I have one or two with attitudes. This stuff didn't do a damn fucking thing.

Saem Iceland Hydrating Eye Stick: Though this had a nice cooling effect, that's not its purpose. It's supposed to hydrate. Does it do that? Nooooooope. Actually very drying for under the eyes AND it broke me out. So I guess these kinds of stick balm things are just not for me. Which is sad because look how cute the packaging is!

 

That'll do it for this round. I'll try to get these up once every quarter so they're not as long!

PDs, MEHs, and GFYs June 2017

All righty. This is TAKE TWO of writing up this post. I accidentally discarded the last one I worked on, just as I was getting to the end....

Anyhoo...let's get to the products.

PANTY DROPPERS (PDs)

Beauty 360 Face Scrubby Thing: I really don't know what this is called but I saw a duo pack of these at CVS (360 is CVS's house brand). I have a tendency to go ham fisted with physical exfoliators (like those creams with grit in them or just a washcloth) but this thing makes it much easier for me to calm my shit down. The little silicone nubs are gentle enough to not rip my face off but you can feel that they really get in there and slough off the dead skin. I keep one in my shower and I travel with the other. The extra great thing is they don't retain water, like a sponge would, so there's no risk of slathering mold all over your face! (I can't find a link at CVS for these, though)

The Ordinary "Buffet": People on YouTube were going NUTS over this brand for a hot minute. Things seemed to have calmed down but I don't know why. This brand makes some really good skin care. The packaging is simple and they don't load in shit you don't need (fillers, dyes, scents, etc.). That's why their prices are so freakin low. The Buffet is a peptide serum and I honestly think it's done wonders for my skin. It's the most expensive thing I've purchased from them ($15) and compared to regular stores, it's almost like shopping at the dollar store! I have since repurchased and will continue to do so.

NYX Ultimate Palette (Cool Neutrals): Everyone and their mother goes ape shit for warm colors. I'm so tired of the warm browns, coppers, oranges, blahblahblah. Don't get me wrong - I do wear them. I'm just TIRED of them. So this is a god send. Colors are beautiful, pretty pigmented, and blend like a dream (the purple one is a bit patchy and the light ones you can't really see because they are very close to my skin tone). 

Merchant of Galifrey Lip Balm (Cassian): I've found that some lip balms don't actually moisturize or protect the lips. I know, right? But this shop from Etsy has made some great ones! Tons of scents so you're sure to find something you'll like. I got the one inspired by Star Wars: Rogue One's character of Cassian - pear, clove, and dulce de leche. So not only does it smell good, last long, and work great, I think of Diego Luna every time I put it on my lips. Mmmmm....Diego....

TheBalm Mad Lash Mascara: I love the formula of this mascara. It does a great job of thickening and lengthening my lashes. Sometimes TheBalm stuff can be hit or miss but this stuff is awesome.

Milani Eye Shadow Primer: I've tried a bunch of different brands but this is the one I always goes back to. Just repurchased.

Colourpop Creme Gel Eyeliner: This stuff is no joke. Once it's on the eyes, even the waterline, it doesn't budge one inch. The problem, though, is the darker ones dry out really fast. I had the dark green color (which is no longer available - probably because it basically looked black) but the product got too try to work with before I could use it up. The browns are a little easier to work with, stay creamier longer, but still have the same staying power.

Colourpop Super Shock Shadow (Dare): I can't tell you how many times I've received compliments on this shadow when I wear it. A gorgeous neon purple with hot pink and violet glitter. But as you can see from the swatch, it dried out before I could even hit pan. It's basically just dry scratchy glitter now and OMG COLOURPOP IS HAVING A SALE ON THEIR SHADOWS. Excuse me a moment...

 

MEHs

NYX Le Frou Frou Mascara: For something that claims to give volume and length, it really does neither. My lashes looked nice, soft and natural, but no better than that. So while it's nice to use for those kind of days, I don't turn to it to get more special.

Bronx Colors Matte Lip Tint: The color was pretty, though a little brighter than the swatch on-line, but the formula was dry and kinda streaky. Not a great first impression, Bronx.

The Body Shop Vitamin E Serum: At first this stuff seemed great. It smells fantastic and it gave me a little extra moisture I needed at the time. But after about a month the smell went...off. I'm almost positive, too, that this broke me out a bit. Not gonna ever use again just to be safe. 

Essence Get Big Lashes Mascara: Again, another one that claims to make your lashes really thick and long but really only gives you a soft natural look. Which is fine but not what I was looking for when I bought this.

Tarte Skinny Smolder Eyes (Amethyst): The color is kinda dull and the product itself wears off really fast. Though it feels creamy going on and smudges out well, it's just so...lackluster. Probably why it's on sale at the website.

TheBalm Mad Lash Mascara: This also get a MEH rating - for the packaging. Instead of a normal twist open tube, they have this one as just pull straight out (oy) and snap back in. It's a tight fit (really?) so after yanking on it for a second or two (for crying out loud), the wand flings product everywhere (geez) then gets all over the packaging (mic drop). Ugh.

GO FUCK YOURSELVES (GFYs)

Burts Bees Facial Cleansing Towlettes: Oh gods these suck so bad! The cloths come out mostly dry and they sting like a fucking beast. They also smell very herbally which is great for marinara sauce but not for my fucking face.

City Color Color Corrector Pens: I really wanted to try the orange toned one for the purple under my eyes, as well as try out the green just for shits and giggles. They came as a trio on Haute Look so I got them all. FUCKING AWFUL. They're twist up pens so after about 4 days of twisting, a little teeny tiny bit of product came out. Mostly dry and crumbly, they dried darker once on the skin (except the green - that one was ok). I maybe got 3 uses from them. SO FUCKING TERRIBLE.

Addictive Cosmetics All Natural Lipstick (Maleficent): I've purchased stuff from this Etsy store before that I've loved. But this lipstick is just awful. Patchy as fuck, thin formula, it will not go opaque no matter what I do, not even over a lip liner. I don't know if it's because it's a sample and not a full bullet or what. Ugh.

Urban Decay Perversion Mascara: You can see I have two sample tubes of this crap and I haven't used up either. The formula is so thick and goopy, it's impossible to work with. Maybe if I had thicker lashes it would be okay. But I don't. So it isn't. Blech.

Shea Moisture Dragons Blood & Coffee Cherry Mask: HOLY FUCKING BALLS THIS STUFF HURT SO BAD! I've used SM stuff in the past and I've liked it. But about 30 seconds after I got this mask on my face it started to burn. Like Human Torch burn. Like Darkman caught in his lab fire burn. Which makes me so sad because it smells fantastic. But it's not worth the price of possibly becoming disfigured (that's hyperbole for those of you without a sense of humor).

All righty. That'll do it for my list of awesome and awful. See you in a few months for another installment!

Ipsy April 2017 Review

Well, March came in like a lion this year, eh, midwesterners? Let's hope April has showers to bring May flowers and not too much more of Mother Nature's menopause specials. I don't know about the rest of you but our fence has almost been pulled out at least twice by all these wind storms!

Anyway, this post is about Ipsy. For those who may not know, Ipsy is a monthly subscription service where, for $10, you receive 4-5 sample (sometimes full) sized makeup, hair, and skin care products. Check them out for yourselves here: IPSY

I purchased this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones.

Have no idea what the theme is this month because I didn't bother to look at the card as it has NO useful info on it at all. Lemme go to the website. Hang on..."Sideshow". What the fuck is that supposed to mean? OMG so useless.

The bag itself is hilarious! I love the ticket shape, like what you'd get at a carnival or whatever. But the material is vinyl or something that feels like very tough stiff (*rowr*) rubber. Probably pretty durable, though. Meh. Let's get to the products.

Hikari Cosmetics Cream Pigment Eye Shadow: I believe the color is Honeydew. Looks like a frosty pink with a hint of peach behind it. It's beautiful. The texture is like a Colourpop shadow - feels like a cream but goes on like a powder. Using a brush is pretty much useless, though, unlike CP. Hardly any pigment pay off. But with a finger it's very nice. Could be used as a highlighter, too, because there's no glitter. Can't find an amount on the website for full size but I'm guessing this is a sample (because full size comes in a pot) but a decent sized sample. Let's call it half price and valued at $6.50. (CF)

Colourpop Creme Gel Pencil: You know how much I love CP. So I was excited for this product. The shade is Best O (oh my...) and is a deep burgundy. It looks kind of brown in the swatch below but on the eye it's much more reddish purple. Smooth and creamy, these are great eyeliners. HOWEVER - they are soft so break easily; I also had trouble getting the color to show up on top of the eye shadow. Had to work at it. Full size and is $5.00 (CF)

Touch in Sol No Poreblem! Primer: Interesting primer. It looks like a lotion. Feels like silicone. But once it absorbs, which it does FULLY, your skin just feels smooth and soft. It actually does look like it diminishes the appearance of pores. So cool. I only used it once but with just a translucent powder so I can't speak to it's ability to help makeup last longer. I'll let you know. Full size is $18 so this sample (the tube felt almost empty which is a bit of a rip off) is about $3. (CF)

Tried to do a quick look with the shadow and liner so forgive the messy brow powder and mascara.

Tried to do a quick look with the shadow and liner so forgive the messy brow powder and mascara.

Hanalei Aloe Soothing Gel: I do like aloe gel. Granted, this has aloe powder as it's EIGHTH ingredient but I'll still give it a shot. It does smell fresh and more like cucumbers than aloe but what the hell. Full size at 100g is $30 so this 10g sample is about $3.00 (CF)

Luxie Beauty Dreamcatcher Precision Foundation Brush 660: I am never mad at brushes. And I've received Luxie Beauty ones in the past and they are awesome. I don't use brushes for foundation but I'm sure I'll have no trouble finding another use for this one. Full size and is $23.00 (Vegan and CF)

I'm gonna round the numbers around and say this month was around a $40 value. I've had better. Think I've had worse. But I like everything in this bag AND they're all cruelty free so I'm all right with it!

ColourPop Brand Review

I've been saying I want to do a one brand review on a couple of makeup companies I've been using and loving. FINALLY got all the swatches and pictures done so I can share my thoughts in a post. This post is going to be all about ColourPop Cosmetics which, BONUS, is a cruelty free brands! This is not sponsored by ColourPop; they didn't send me anything; I purchased all the products I talk about with my own money over the past (holy crap it's only been one) year.

You might want to grab some coffee and a snack for this...

In their FAQs they say spelling color without the 'u' is so basic. That tickles me.

In their FAQs they say spelling color without the 'u' is so basic. That tickles me.

From what I understand, CP was started a few years ago by a couple of women in California. They wanted to make their own products with good ingredients, a unique formula, and affordable for pretty much anyone. Though they are considered an 'indie' brand, they exploded onto the scene a couple of years ago. I don't know who but I think it was some 'famous' YouTuber who reviewed ColourPop and the brand took off from there.

CP makes eye, cheek, and lip products and nothing is over $8 (I'm not including sets, obviously). The lippies come in all sorts of finishes and formats and the powder products are some of the most unique I've ever felt in my life. I can only describe the feel as a firm custard covered with a layer of silk. They have the give of a creme product but they go on dry like a powder. I don't know how else to describe them. You have to feel them for yourselves! They are best applied with the finger, for the highest color payoff, but can be blended or applied with a brush.

This is an eye shadow in the color Flower Shop. All the powder products come in individual pots and are stamped with the same quilted pattern.

This is an eye shadow in the color Flower Shop. All the powder products come in individual pots and are stamped with the same quilted pattern.

OMG I went to confirm the prices and I started shopping. And I bought more lip stuff but for the sake of brevity (TOO LATE) I won't include them in this post, though they are pretty and awesome. Dammit, Colourpop!

Now that I've compiled my collection into swatch pics, I'm able to share my thoughts with you. Hopefully I'll inspire a few of you to go try their products! Check them out: COLOURPOP

Let's start with the eyes and work our way down, shall we? *rowr*

I own six eye shadows from CP. To most make up folk, that's paltry. But because they come in individual containers, they're a bit of bitch to store so I don't mind having a smaller collection compared to some. All eye shadows are $5 each.

 

Swatches of each shadow. From bottom to top we have:

Puppy Love - soft light peach gold, a portion of the sales of this shadow went to an animal rescue!

LaLa - super pigmented bronze

Flower Shop - gorgeous green shade that makes me feel like a mermaid, less pigmented than the rest but can be built up

Dare - one of my favorite purple shades with hot pink and violet glitter

Party Time - my first matte shade from CP, it looks like a grey taupe mauve blend, so different from anything else I have

Roulette - soooper pigmented matte black, seriously be careful with this one.

 

I only own three gel liners and one creme liner pencil. From bottom to top they are:

Stopmer - this is my favorite, it's much creamier and easier to work with than the other two

Workout - it's hard to tell but this is a deep dark forest green

Swerve - straight up black. The darker shades are much drier and more difficult. But all of them set like a mother fucker when they dry down completely - which is super fast.

The top swatch is the gel pencil in Timber. Very smooth, creamy, and pigmented. Easy to apply BUT BE CAREFUL! It will break if you press too hard.

The eye liner pencils are $5 each and the gel liner pots are $6.

 

This is the only powder product that ever arrived broken. But I just pressed it back down and it's mostly fine. Still crumbly but the product itself is still great.

This is the only powder product that ever arrived broken. But I just pressed it back down and it's mostly fine. Still crumbly but the product itself is still great.

I actually bought two highlighters but I got rid of the gold one, Wisp (I think), because it was just a little too glittery. This one, Monster, has a gorgeous pink undertone. It is sparkly but not stripper sparkly, you know? (this is the bottom swatch in the blush swatch pic below) All highlighters and blushes cost $8 each.

 

I've got three blushes from CP. They are all soft beautiful colors that are pigmented but not straight up heavy from the first swipe. So you can build them up or keep them more sheer. I've actually already hit pan on the purple one! From bottom to top (excluding the highlighter): Birthday Suit, Cheerio, and Rain.

 

This is funny for two reasons: 1)the name of the lippy that happened to be facing me when I took the pic; 2)I have so many more lip products from them now I had to use a bigger jar.

This is funny for two reasons: 1)the name of the lippy that happened to be facing me when I took the pic; 2)I have so many more lip products from them now I had to use a bigger jar.

And now for the lips. I'm addicted to the ColourPop lippy. A few of them have disappointed but overall, they are some of my favorite lip products ever. All of the lipsticks are $5.

From top to bottom: Lumiere, Bound 1, Bound 2, Choker, She Bad - Nudes/Neutrals

From top to bottom: Lumiere, Bound 1, Bound 2, Choker, She Bad - Nudes/Neutrals

Switching things up a bit, I'm going to talk about each of the colors from top to bottom. I will also include lip swatches after each one. 

Lumiere was the first lippy I ever purchased from CP. It's a matte formula but doesn't look or feel dry. If you blot it with a tissue that will help but it's definitely not transfer proof and you might need a lip liner to go with it.

 

I accidentally bought this color twice: Bound. This is a Glossy finish and there is a slight color difference between the two. Not sure if you can tell from the pictures but the OG Bound (first pic) is a bit deeper, has a more bluish undertone than the new Bound, which is more of a baby pink. Both are pretty though!

 

Choker has become one of my favorite nudes. With a Creme finish, this color glides on so easily and is extremely comfortable to wear. It's not too warm or too cool for my skin tone and I don't look like a corpse when I wear it. Bonus!

 

This last one in the 'nude' category is She Bad, one of ColourPop's new Matte X finishes. While this formula is awesome - it's super soft with a powder like finish - the lipstick came loose during shipping so it keeps falling out of the tube. Also, I don't particularly like the shade on me. It looks yellow/orange at first application but it does become a little more pink as it dries. Not sure I'll keep this one.

 

Next up are the reds:

From top to bottom: Creature, Poison, TGIF, Out of Sync

From top to bottom: Creature, Poison, TGIF, Out of Sync

Creature is one of the original matte formulas. I love this color but it feels more drying than the others in the same formula and it is a bit patchy. So I don't really reach for this that often though red is my favorite color.

 

Another original matte lippy is Poison. It also feels really dry and it sets almost immediately. Again, not sure if I'll keep it because I just don't reach for it though the color is gorgeous.

 

Yep, another matte - TGIF. This is more of a cherry red shade but this one is a bit more comfortable to wear.

 

Last but not least is Out of Sync, a gorgeous fuscia shade. Not something I normally wear but the blue undertone is to die for! And this is also a matte finish.

 

The next set of lippies don't really fit into any color category, except the two that are purple/pink shades. I've become addicted to the odd colors (grey, blue, green) and so many companies now are offering them now. Whoop!

Top to Bottom: Bull Chic, Climax, Too Sexy, Boogie, Wet (wow - so much sexy talky...)

Top to Bottom: Bull Chic, Climax, Too Sexy, Boogie, Wet (wow - so much sexy talky...)

The last of the original matte formula is Bull Chic. It is MUCH creamier than the rest and very easy to apply but...it's not as opaque so you'll need to blot and reapply to build it up. Even then it's not THAT great but right now it's my only black lipstick so it'll do, pig. It'll do.

 

One of my new favorites is Climax. It's the reformulated matte (so it's a Matte X). It's a little patchy when applied. And don't rub your lips together too much before it sets! It'll slide all over the fucking place and look majorly patchy. But the color...HOLY BALLS it's gorgeous! A royal blue with violet. So beautiful.

 

I'm Too Sexy for my lips...This satin finish lipstick is creamy, easy to apply, and is a beautiful violet fuchsia with a blue shift. It's not on the website anymore, though, so it may be discontinued.

 

I always confuse Boogie with Too Sexy. Both have that fuchsia/blue pink tone but Boogie is a little darker AND has blue sparkles! The Satin Luxe finish is a little drier than the satin so it almost feels like a matte. Super pigmented and it definitely stains the lips so even when it wears off, you'll still have some color left behind!

 

Another favorite, because it's so different, is Wet, a pearlized finish lippy that they describe as a taupe gunmetal color. It goes on creamy so I got the matching lip liner to go with it since I'm pretty sure I couldn't find anything to match elsewhere. It can be a bit patchy but I don't care. It's not that noticeable on me.

 

The final lippies, and review segment, are devoted to the Lip Satins. These come in glass (or thick plastic) tubes and are $6 each.

Top to bottom: Lost, So Wavy, Petit Four, Marshmallow

Top to bottom: Lost, So Wavy, Petit Four, Marshmallow

The Lip Satins are a fantastic formula. Incredible lasting time and very comfortable. They remain a bit tacky so they're not quite transfer proof. They dry enough to look matte, though they aren't. Two of the ones I have have a drier mousse like texture and the others are very thin - so they get all over your teeth when you first put them on! I use a lip liner with all of these but CP only sells matching liners for two (I included them in the swatches). All CP lip liners are creamy and apply smoothly. If you fill in your lips with them they could be used on their own!

 

Lost is a gorgeous red. This is one of the thinner formulas so make sure to check your teeth!

 

So Wavy is the most awesome purple-blue I've ever seen. I think it's the ONLY one I've ever seen. This is the other one with a thin consistency so check those teeth! The purple liners I have, or were suggested by CP, have too much red in them. But I just got a blue liner from NYX that I hope will work!

 

Petit Four is a dark grey but I see some greenish undertones to it, at least on me. It's much thicker than the last two so it's not as messy! I also got the matching liner because it's such an unusual color.

 

Last, but definitely not least, is my favorite lip satin in Marshmallow. I don't know when purples starting calling to me but this is an awesome grey lavender color. A more dry moussey texture but I still use a liner.

 

Okay. That is it. WHEW! I hope some of you will go check out the ColourPop website and try a few of these products for yourselves. Trust me, it'll be worth it!

NOTE: The new lippies I got are new Ultra Glossy Lip line. I haven't worn them a lot yet, except the nude one, so I can't speak as to their lasting power. But they feel nice, not too sticky, and pretty pigmented for glosses. I had to include a couple of pics below just so you can get an idea of what they look like!

L to R: (metallic finish) Crystal Ball, Wolfie, Tight Fit; (creme) Fluff; (sheer) Fairy Floss

L to R: (metallic finish) Crystal Ball, Wolfie, Tight Fit; (creme) Fluff; (sheer) Fairy Floss

You can see the metallic finish lippies (bottom three) are bit more streaky than the others.

You can see the metallic finish lippies (bottom three) are bit more streaky than the others.

PDs, MEHs, and GFYs (March 2016 Edition)

Yes! I'm still on schedule! Enjoy it while it lasts, people.

PDs (Panty Droppers)

Nivea Men Post Shave Balm - I know what you're saying. Uh, Peggy, that's a MEN'S product. Yes, yes it is. But apparently one of the beauty mavens on YouTube used this in place of her moisturizer (because she was at her boyfriend's place and didn't have any) and noticed how great it was as a primer. And damn if she wasn't right! Its main ingredient is glycerin which is what helps makeup last longer on your face. It feels so nice on the skin and it smells like boy. It is a strong smell so it's not for everyone. But I love it. Comes in a sensitive formula, too.

ELF Makeup Mist & Set - I've been using this makeup setting spray for years. I think this might be my fifth bottle (it lasts a long time, btw). No major scent that I can tell and it helps my makeup last so much longer than without it. And it's like $3! I linked their site but you can get this brand at Meijer and Target and possibly Walgreens or Walmart.

L'Oreal Infallible Pro-Matte Foundation - I'm not a huge foundation gal. I have a few but I usually reach for a BB or CC cream first. But I got this on a whim and tried it a few times. Damn if this stuff doesn't make my skin look awesome. I thought it would look too dry, as it's matte, but it really doesn't. And it stays on the skin for HOURS! As in, all day. Good stuff.

Kat Von D Tattoo Liquid Eyeliner - Several people had recommended this product so eventually I caved and spent the $20 to get one. Um...worth every penny. I got the Mad Max Brown color and it's gorgeous. It dries down and doesn't fucking move all day. After about 8 hours, the wing I'd made did start to break down but I have watery eyes so I think that contributed to it. Otherwise, this liner is TITS!

 

MEHs

Maybelline Dream Velvet Foundation (left swatch) - I admit. YouTube reviews made me want this. And while the color is a decent match for me (nice pink undertone) and the foundation feels nice, it looks awful. I've tried blending this with brushes and sponges and both ways look dry and cakey on me. It looks nice on a lot of people. Just not me.

Milani Eyebrow Gel (middle swatch) - I love Milani products so when they came out with an eyebrow gel, I needed to get it. The color is awesome. It's a nice cool toned brown. And the brush is small (not as small as L'Oreal brow plumper but not as big as NYX's brow gel) so it's easy to work with. The trouble is I can't get any fucking product on the damn brush! No matter how many times I dip that into the tube, barely anything comes out. I had to dip it 3 times to get that swatch above. And, once it dries, it flakes. A lot. *is sad* Maybe if I had more brow hairs to hold onto the product it would be better. I think it is one of those fiber gels. Oh well. They have other stuff I can try next!

Colourpop Highlighter  (right swatch) - Now, I love a lot of CP stuff. I do want to do a one-brand review soon. But every now and again, something just hits me wrong. When I first got this, I thought it was a beautiful soft gold/champagne highlight with a little shimmer. And while the product itself is wonderful and the color is gorgeous, it's mostly glitter. I've tried it for weeks and on days when my skin was drier or softer or really hydrated. It still looks the same. I don't mind some glitter now and again but I just couldn't get down with this, no matter how much I wanted to. I linked their whole highlighter page because they have others that are awesome.

 

GFYs (Go Fuck Yourselves)

CVS Eye Makeup Remover - I've used this stuff a lot but someone somewhere along the food chain of CVS product development totally fucked this up. The "NEW" label obviously means "Useless and Burny" because that's what this is. You can see how much I used of the contents before screaming my rage from my rooftop.

Acure Day Cream - Maybe I should have put this in the MEH category but any skin care product that breaks me out deserves to be shoved down the garbage disposal. Loved the smell. Hated the product.

Too Faced Shadow Insurance - Um, for a brand that's so fucking pricey, I expected more. I don't mean quantity as this is a sample. But I mean in quality. The eye shadows I've used aren't that great and this primer follows suit. It doesn't work that well and after a month or so started separating (as in when I squeezed the tube, nasty oily liquid splooged out). What the hell, TF? 

Rimmel Stay Glossy - I know it looks pink in the tube but it's basically colorless. If I wanted colorless gloss, that's what I'd buy. Also the shimmers have separated from the gloss (2nd pic - that dark pink band is where I swiped the applicator in the bottle). If I have to mix my gloss every time...fuck you, Rimmel. (can't find the color I have - SHOCKING - so I linked another one)

Wet & Wild Megalast Liquid Lip Color - Not sure if W&W was trying to be like the bazillion other liquid lipsticks out there but I think they missed. While the color on these are gorgeous, there's so much glitter in them that they feel gritty. Like 40 grade sandpaper. Yeah, that's exactly what I want to put on my mouth. Jerks.

Swisspers Cotton Swabs - Yep. I'm still of the school of thinking that anything less than the Q-Tip brand is not worth a bucket of spit. And when you can get 300 Swisspers for $1, don't put that shit anywhere near your body. Use it for arts and crafts or something. Not your face or your ears, okay? I don't even have the package anymore because I threw them all into my crafting bag.

 

All righty. That covers the last two months. Come back and see me in May when I will praise, shrug off, or set a flame the next list of products.

 

PDs, MEHs, and GFYs

With the new year, I'm hoping to get on a more regimented schedule with this column. It seems like I post these anywhere from every month and a half to every three. That's a little too random. So I think I might try to do this every two months which should give me enough time to find stuff that I love or want to set on fire.

So here we go with the first 2016 list! (I'm trying to use a professional styled camera for these pics now and I think it's obvious I need to practice. I still don't know what all the buttons do or how to change the settings so excuse the crappy focus on these until I can get my shit together)

Panty Droppers (PDs)

Revlon Ultra HD Matte Cream Lip Color: These just came out a month or so ago in the ever reaching trend of liquid to matte lipsticks. And while the few I've tried have just completely SUCKED ASS, I love this one. Probably because it doesn't full dry down to a complete matte. It stays a bit creamy on the lips and will transfer - to your coffee cup, donut, the delivery man - so keep that in mind. You can blot with a tissue and that will make it look more matte. But if you're like me and can't stand the Saraha Desert on your mouth, you'll love these. The colors are gorgeous, the formula feels like a whipped gel, and I actually like the fruity smell. They run anywhere from $7-$9, depending on where you go. Got my at Walgreens. The colors I have (from bottom to top): Seduction, Devotion, Addiction. 

Chips Ahoy Chocolate Chip Cookies with Oreo Cream Filling: You read that right. Imagine a soft baked Chips Ahoy cookie. Now picture a thin layer of Oreo filling right in the middle. Can you see it? It's glorious, isn't it? I know it sounds like it would be too sweet. Don't get me wrong - it is very sweet. But in no way is it overpowering or gag inducing. It's a beautiful tasty creation.

YSL Touche Elcat Concealer/Brightener: I got 3 little samples on a promotional card from a Sephora order, I think. The first two were for fair skin and the third for a medium complexion. Obviously the third was too dark but the first two were gorgeous. No. 1 (bottom right of swatches) has a nice peach tone to it so it covers dark circles well. No. 2 (middle right) worked great as a non-shimmery highlighter and concealer. Unfortunately this stuff is $42 a pop so I don't think I'll be purchasing some any time soon.

Colourpop Gel Liner: Colourpop is mostly a huge hit for me, with just a few misses (I'll do a Colourpop centric review in a bit). And their gel liners just came out a little while ago so I thought I'd give them a shot. Awesome stuff! I tried it the first time without priming or powdering my lids. And that shit lasted a good 8-10 hours before it started to fade. That's fucking crazy! Especially with my super oily lids. It does dry pretty quick so it's difficult to go back and fix any mistakes. But it's totally worth $6! The color is called Workout.

 

MEHs

Dermalogica Multivitamin Power Serum: I can only give this a meh rating because it totally broke me out. Though it smelled really nice and it felt very silky going on the skin, it's just not worth it if it gives me pizza face. Oh well. I'm sure I'll get over it and its $66 price tag soon enough...okay, I'm over it.

Kiss of Cherry lip balm (Nivea): I love the Kiss of Moisture balms from Nivea but like the one with SPF, the Cherry one dries my lips like a mo-fo. I don't know if the staining color that's the culprit or what but I couldn't even finish the tube. It smells fantastic and feels great at first so it could just be my sensitive ass (that's where it goes, right?). You can find this for $2-$3.

Almay Get Up and Grow Mascara: I can't remember if I put this stuff in another list but if I did and gave it any higher rating than MEH, I was an idiot. It does give fantastic volume and my lashes felt soft, never crunchy. But it ended up smudging on both my upper and lower lids. Booooo. It retails for around $7-$9.

 

GFYs (Go Fuck Yourselves)

Carol's Daughter Monoi Hairspray: I don't know who the fuck Carol or her daughter are but their hairspray is crap. The smell is gag inducing so I can't even use enough of it to get an idea of its usefulness. The can it came in leaks a bit, too. Ugh. And it costs $22? NOT.

Pur-lisse Eye Serum: I believe I just talked about this in my Ipsy bag review. This crap is awful. It burns my skin. It's not like the tissues of the under eye are already sensitive or anything. Ass hats. $65 price tag? What a fucking joke.

(I guess I hated the last three items on this list so much that I threw them away already)

City Color Be Bold Mascara: I've gotten this brand a few times in Ipsy and most of it is good. But this stuff sucks. It's gloppy, smudgy, clumpy, and all around awful. It doesn't do much for either volume or length. I'd expect a little better for $6.

Garnier Shine Control Cleansing Gel (charcoal): I think I got this after I realized I didn't want to buy the Olay scrubby wash anymore. This stuff smells so bad and it totally broke me out. This runs around $8.

Derma e Anti Wrinkle Glycolic Scrub: I was so sad about this one. I have a couple other Derma e products that are wonderful. But this smelled so strongly like old fashioned Ivory soap and it was very rough on the skin. And I'm such a delicate fucking flower, apparently, that it broke me out, too.

That's it for now, kiddies. I'll (hopefully) be back in two months with some more fun!

PDs, GFYs, and MEHs - September 2015 Edition

Well, August kind of got away from me so I'll be combining it with September for this list of Panty Droppers, Go Fuck Yourselves, and Mehs. 

First, let's get to the good stuff. (I didn't take pics of everything in each category - just the stuff that was close at hand!)

For my beauty PD products, I've got these three pictured above. Almay Smart Shade CC cream, the Rimmel Fix & Perfect face primer, and the Neutrogena Hydro gel. I love the CC cream because it's a nice shade match for me and it's not heavy or full coverage (which I prefer). I do feel like my natural oiliness comes through but I don't look greasy, does that make sense? The Rimmel primer is awesome. It looks and feels like a light lotion but it really sinks into the skin and it doesn't feel like I'm wearing anything (on my face, pervs). The Hydro gel was a sample and it smelled awesome! It worked really well, too, so I'm hoping when I get the full size, it won't disappoint me like the Hada Labo gel did.

For food, I've got two things for you:

Annie's Cheddar Bunnies and Animal Crackers. I've only tried the snack products from this company. The extra cheesy cheddar bunnies are better than the regular and the animal crackers are wonderful. They kind of taste like the original animal crackers we all grew up on (us old people, anyway) but they are much more dense. I believe all of their products are natural, possibly organic (don't quote me) and their business practices aim for social responsibility. I've found these at Target, Meijers, and Value Center. You've got to try some! www.annies.com

Oreo Pumpkin Spice: I know, I know. Everything is turning up pumpkin spice right now because Fall. I, personally, am not a freak about it. I don't run out and get anything and everything in this scent or flavor (most pumpkin candles make me barf and I don't need my coffee to taste like a gourd). HOWEVER, Oreos are some of my favorite cookies and when I saw these, I had to try them. I believe they came out last year but the are limited edition each fall. AND THEY ARE AMAZEBALLS! If you like pumpkin pie, you'll like these.

The last thing is not a product but a technique. I'm probably the last one to jump on this bandwagon but from watching Emily Noel on YouTube (emilynoel83), I discovered how awesome it is to apply cream blush with a stippling brush. It makes it so much easier to blend out the product that you just can't get with your fingers. Who knew? (everyone besides me, I'm sure)

 

Now for the Go Fuck Yourselves:

Beauty and Hair was all about the uselessness these past months. For hair: the Not Your Mother's Dry Shampoo (good thing because I hate to think your mom sucks ass) and the Ulta brand Smooth and Protect shampoo/conditioner. I've tried multiple brands of dry shampoo. I love Batiste but the smell can be cloying so I wanted to see if I could find something just as good. Nooooope. NYM's dry shampoo was completely useless, unless I sprayed on half a can which mostly went straight to my lungs. The Ulta shampoo and conditioner did nothing to smooth or protect my hair. It dried it out even more and if I were transformed into a muppet, I'd be the frizz monster who lives with the dust bunnies and spare change under your couch.

The makeup that seriously disappointed me was the Catrice liquid eyeliner and Colour Pop's ultra matte liquid lipstick. I wanted to try the Catrice brand because Keerstin on YouTube (ItsKeerstin) talked about it a lot. Before Ulta brought it into their stores/on-line, you could only get in Europe. So I was excited to try a few things once they got stateside. This eyeliner was terrible. It took forever to dry and even if I DIDN'T open my eyes, or move or breathe in any way, it still smudged. Which is interesting because when I tried to take it off, it was near impossible! What the fuck, Catrice?

The ColourPop matte liquid lipsticks make me mad. I love the brand (I have several lippie stix, blushes, and highlighters that I love) so when these mattes came out, I was super excited. Now I just want to punch someone. The colors are nice but the formula is so drying as to be painful. They set within seconds so don't fuck up. And if it looks patchy, too fucking bad because if you put on a second layer, it clumps together or just wipes off the original application. Then when you WANT to take them off, you basically need a jackhammer and some napalm. They. Are. Awful. I want to apologize to my friend, MontiLee, for giving her the pink color I ordered (it didn't look right on me but I thought she might enjoy it). I'm so so so sorry.

 

And finally, the MEHs.

I think most of my Meh's work well for other people but just not for me. Which is why they are just okay.

Three primers I tried: Benefit's Porefessional; Smashbox Photo Finish; and Catrice Prime & Fine. I'm pretty sure the Porefessional and Prime & Fine broke me out (gods dammit, Catrice!). The Smashbox is a silicone primer and with my oily skin, it doesn't work. It also balls up when I put the Almay CC over it so...no.

The Maybelline Lash sensational mascara (in the pink tube) was just so wet and gloppy. Most people say to just give it time to dry out a bit, but mine never got there. I'll work with shadows and maybe blushes but not mascara. That's one thing that needs to work as is straight out of the tube.

I also got a body wash from Bath & Body Works in a Honey Lavender scent. It's a good shower gel but the scent leaves a lot to be desired. I don't get much lavender from it and the honey smells weird. I've only got a little bit left so once that's done I'm getting back to my Jasmine Vanilla!!

That's it for this edition. Hopefully I'll get back to monthly reviews on this stuff! But let's not count on that just yet. Busy season at the hubby's store is in full swing and I help out when he needs me. I may not be back until November...