PDs, MEHs, and GFYs November 2016

Ah...one of my favorite posts to write. Even though it's been a while, I don't have TOO much stuff but yeah, this will be a bit longer than my last few. That's okay. I can just bask in it for a little extra time this month.

I've purchased all of these products with my own money (or they came in a subscription box which I also paid for myself) so all opinions are my honest ones.

PD (PANTY DROPPERS)

Etude House Moisture Cleansing Oil: This stuff was awesome. Smelled great and did a fantastic job at removing all my makeup. (CF but ships to China)

Lunatic Cosmetic Labs: I found this brand through Tori Biohazard on YouTube. It's a small indy company so they don't have a shit ton of products. But they had a booth at the Flashback horror convention in Chicago this year so I thought it would be perfect to try them out. This eye shadow palette (Supernatural) is unbelievable. They are so pigmented and blend beautifully. And can we talk about this packaging? Hello, awesome party of one! (CF)

DIY Mask: I was looking for some homemade masks that would be good for dry skin. As I've said before I experienced some super dry skin this year and I still don't know why. But this mask recipe was awesome. I used it 3-4 times a week for a couple of months and my skin felt fantastic. There's a huge list on this page but I made #13, skipping the cucumber on my eyes part. It's just brown sugar, honey, and milk. That's it!

MEH

Milani Big & Bigger Lashes mascara: The formula on this is okay for volume but nothing stupendous. The brush is terrible. Plastic bristles that poke the shit out of my eye balls. If it had a different wand it would be all right. (CF)

ELF Lengthening & Volumizing mascara: Not volumizing at all but you can get a nice natural look from it. But then why would you buy this if that's what you want? The brush was nice but the tube dried up pretty fast. (CF)

ELF Poreless Face Primer: Though this is a nice silky soft primer, it's not good for oily skin. My face felt greasy all day after using this. I tried it a couple of times with different powders, foundations, and BB creams but the result was the same. If you have dry skin, this might work really well for you.

Hostess Chocodile Twinkies: Imagine my disappointment when these really tasted nothing like chocolate covered Twinkies. They basically taste like King Dons but vanilla. And stale. I could have gotten an older box (what'd you call me?) so I'd be willing to try them again.

GFY (GO FUCK YOURSELF)

Yes to Coconut Makeup Wipes: Dry as a popcorn fart and burned like fucking acid. (CF)

Yes to Cucumbers Calming Mask: Christ all mighty this thing burned like a mother fucker. Where's the fucking calm in that, ass holes? I had to take it off after about 2 minutes. What the fuck is this "Yes To..." brand doing with it's life?? (CF)

Juice Beauty Green Apple Brightening Moisturizer with SPF15: Way too thick so it never felt like it fully absorbed. It also broke me out. I know this is Gwyneth Paltrow's brand and all and everyone just looooves her but fuck that shit. Other products she's made are good but this stuff sucks ass. (CF)

NYX Angel Veil Skin Perfecting Face Primer: You've seen me rave on NYX stuff before but I have no idea why people love this crap. It absolutely accentuates dryness on the skin. It also balls up and/or flakes off when putting make up over it. Um...that kind of defeats the purpose, don't you think? Try harder next time. (CF)

The Balm Mr. Write Now (Scott) Eyeliner: This eyeliner is so fucking dry! It totally crumbles when I try to put it on. And you'd think my oily lids might help it out a bit. Noooope. For the price point on this, I expected better, especially since other products I own from this brand are pretty awesome. (CF)

Essence Waterproof Gel Eyeliner: TERRIBLE! The product is way too dry and if you try to layer it, it crumbles everywhere. It doesn't stay, or apply evenly, on the tight or water line. Um, isn't it supposed to be waterproof? Geez. (CF)

Aveeno Absolutely Ageless Restorative Night Cream: Though is smells okay this crap broke me out something terrible. I couldn't even finish up the tiny sample tube. Ugh. (NCF)

Too Faced Lip Injection Extreme Plumping Gloss: HOLY FUCKING ASS CRACKERS. This shit contains capsicum - you know, that genus of flowering plants called peppers that contain capsaicin which causes a BURNING SENSATION. Apparently beauty companies think this is an awesome ingredient to plump the lips and make them appear fuller. WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? This shit burned so bad even AFTER I took it off. It left a red irritated ring around the line of my lips like I just gave a blow job to The Human Torch. $28 to feel like I've poured lighter fluid on my face then set it aflame?? FUCK YOU, TOO FACED. FUCK YOU RIGHT IN THE EAR! (CF)

I love to end on a good rant.

That's it for 2016. I'll be back in a couple of months for another installment!

PDs, MEHs, and GFYs (March 2016 Edition)

Yes! I'm still on schedule! Enjoy it while it lasts, people.

PDs (Panty Droppers)

Nivea Men Post Shave Balm - I know what you're saying. Uh, Peggy, that's a MEN'S product. Yes, yes it is. But apparently one of the beauty mavens on YouTube used this in place of her moisturizer (because she was at her boyfriend's place and didn't have any) and noticed how great it was as a primer. And damn if she wasn't right! Its main ingredient is glycerin which is what helps makeup last longer on your face. It feels so nice on the skin and it smells like boy. It is a strong smell so it's not for everyone. But I love it. Comes in a sensitive formula, too.

ELF Makeup Mist & Set - I've been using this makeup setting spray for years. I think this might be my fifth bottle (it lasts a long time, btw). No major scent that I can tell and it helps my makeup last so much longer than without it. And it's like $3! I linked their site but you can get this brand at Meijer and Target and possibly Walgreens or Walmart.

L'Oreal Infallible Pro-Matte Foundation - I'm not a huge foundation gal. I have a few but I usually reach for a BB or CC cream first. But I got this on a whim and tried it a few times. Damn if this stuff doesn't make my skin look awesome. I thought it would look too dry, as it's matte, but it really doesn't. And it stays on the skin for HOURS! As in, all day. Good stuff.

Kat Von D Tattoo Liquid Eyeliner - Several people had recommended this product so eventually I caved and spent the $20 to get one. Um...worth every penny. I got the Mad Max Brown color and it's gorgeous. It dries down and doesn't fucking move all day. After about 8 hours, the wing I'd made did start to break down but I have watery eyes so I think that contributed to it. Otherwise, this liner is TITS!

MEHs

Maybelline Dream Velvet Foundation (left swatch) - I admit. YouTube reviews made me want this. And while the color is a decent match for me (nice pink undertone) and the foundation feels nice, it looks awful. I've tried blending this with brushes and sponges and both ways look dry and cakey on me. It looks nice on a lot of people. Just not me.

Milani Eyebrow Gel (middle swatch) - I love Milani products so when they came out with an eyebrow gel, I needed to get it. The color is awesome. It's a nice cool toned brown. And the brush is small (not as small as L'Oreal brow plumper but not as big as NYX's brow gel) so it's easy to work with. The trouble is I can't get any fucking product on the damn brush! No matter how many times I dip that into the tube, barely anything comes out. I had to dip it 3 times to get that swatch above. And, once it dries, it flakes. A lot. *is sad* Maybe if I had more brow hairs to hold onto the product it would be better. I think it is one of those fiber gels. Oh well. They have other stuff I can try next!

Colourpop Highlighter  (right swatch) - Now, I love a lot of CP stuff. I do want to do a one-brand review soon. But every now and again, something just hits me wrong. When I first got this, I thought it was a beautiful soft gold/champagne highlight with a little shimmer. And while the product itself is wonderful and the color is gorgeous, it's mostly glitter. I've tried it for weeks and on days when my skin was drier or softer or really hydrated. It still looks the same. I don't mind some glitter now and again but I just couldn't get down with this, no matter how much I wanted to. I linked their whole highlighter page because they have others that are awesome.

GFYs (Go Fuck Yourselves)

CVS Eye Makeup Remover - I've used this stuff a lot but someone somewhere along the food chain of CVS product development totally fucked this up. The "NEW" label obviously means "Useless and Burny" because that's what this is. You can see how much I used of the contents before screaming my rage from my rooftop.

Acure Day Cream - Maybe I should have put this in the MEH category but any skin care product that breaks me out deserves to be shoved down the garbage disposal. Loved the smell. Hated the product.

Too Faced Shadow Insurance - Um, for a brand that's so fucking pricey, I expected more. I don't mean quantity as this is a sample. But I mean in quality. The eye shadows I've used aren't that great and this primer follows suit. It doesn't work that well and after a month or so started separating (as in when I squeezed the tube, nasty oily liquid splooged out). What the hell, TF? 

Rimmel Stay Glossy - I know it looks pink in the tube but it's basically colorless. If I wanted colorless gloss, that's what I'd buy. Also the shimmers have separated from the gloss (2nd pic - that dark pink band is where I swiped the applicator in the bottle). If I have to mix my gloss every time...fuck you, Rimmel. (can't find the color I have - SHOCKING - so I linked another one)

Wet & Wild Megalast Liquid Lip Color - Not sure if W&W was trying to be like the bazillion other liquid lipsticks out there but I think they missed. While the color on these are gorgeous, there's so much glitter in them that they feel gritty. Like 40 grade sandpaper. Yeah, that's exactly what I want to put on my mouth. Jerks.

Swisspers Cotton Swabs - Yep. I'm still of the school of thinking that anything less than the Q-Tip brand is not worth a bucket of spit. And when you can get 300 Swisspers for $1, don't put that shit anywhere near your body. Use it for arts and crafts or something. Not your face or your ears, okay? I don't even have the package anymore because I threw them all into my crafting bag.

All righty. That covers the last two months. Come back and see me in May when I will praise, shrug off, or set a flame the next list of products.