The Monkey Is In.

So be prepared. Bring a banana.

I'm a writer of horror and dark fiction. I've been doing this since 1999 and believe me when I say, it's cheaper than therapy and safer for the world at large.

This is where I will archive links for my reviews/articles so my main pages can be used for the current year and look all pretty and shit.


2021 -I’ve had very few posts over 2021 and 2022 so I’ll just archive the bits I have for 2021 for now.

MOVIES

Cinema Headcheese Reviews

New one already for you. Denmark’s dark horror BREEDER. It’s not bad.

ACHOURA. 2018’s Moroccan horror film. Highly recommend!

Latest review of DEMIGOD. Interesting German pagan folklore horror film.

Review for a local indie horror. 2002’s LURKING TERROR. Dear gods…

Continuing the saga of Demonic Toys come BABY OOPSIE. Um…not good but has enjoyable bits. *snicker*

Got a doozy for you over at CHC - HOLLYWOOD’S NEW BLOOD.

Next up at Cinema Headcheese - THE DIVINE FURY, South Korea’s 2019 horror thriller. It’s good.

New for this week is something a bit different. THE HAUNTING OF SHARON TATE. Over at Cinema Headcheese. Better than you think.

Another one for you. 1970’s ASSIGNMENT TERROR. It’s pretty ridiculous.

This week I bring you DARK HOUSE. Predictable, but enjoyable.

BLACK ROSES from 1988 is up for this week’s review. Actually not that bad.

New one for this week is 1963’s The Playgirls and the Vampire. It’s not bad. It’s not good, but it’s not terrible.

Latest review is of the 1979 gem, STARCRASH. Uh….

For this week, I review 1988’s DON’T PANIC, Mexico’s answer to crap horror.

BUTCHER, BAKER, NIGHTMARE MAKER is the next review. Totally bonkers, totally worth the watch.

Next up is LLAMAGEDDON. It’s…it’s not good, people.

Let’s try to get this review train back on track, shall we? I give you ATTACK OF THE KILLER DONUTS. It’s actually pretty good!


2020 (sorry, ya’ll. This year has been lacking for posts and reviews…)

Movies

CINEMA HEADCHEESE REVIEWS

Some pretty bad indie horror here: CLOWNADO

SLACK JAW PUNKS REVIEWS

Ghoulies Series Review Part III: GHOULIES GO TO COLLEGE

Ghoulies Series Review Part II: Next in the series, GHOULIES 2

Ghoulies Series Review Part I: started a new series review over at SJP. GHOULIES

2018

Movies

CINEMA HEADCHEESE REVIEWS

9/21/2018 New one that I watched on a dare. Singularity. Gods awful crap.

7/27/2018 Got a chance at a screener. SHHHH. *weak*

7/20/2018 Triple threat review of some classic scifi/horror. Creature from the Haunted Sea, Flash Gordon, The Giant Gila Monster.

6/10/2018 Well, fuck me sideways. A Chemical Burn film I didn't abhor. 21st Century Serial Killer. Kinda fun.

5/3/2018 Next up for CHC: Almost Invisible. Another let down from Chemical Burn Entertainment.

3/25/2018 Double review for you this month: Retirement of Joe Corduroy and Skin Eating Jungle Vampires. Yin yang going on here, folks.

SLACK JAW PUNKS REVIEWS (usually Drunken Monkey)

7/5/2018 The final film review for the Puppet Master franchise: Axis Termination. Pretty fun. 

5/27/2018 Latest in the Puppet Master Series: Axis Rising. It's...okay.

5/11/18 New review in the Puppet Master Series: Axis of Evil. Not too bad.

4/17/2018 Another review for the Puppet Master Series: Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys. *sigh*

3/20/2018 Next installment of the Puppet Master Series: The Legacy. So. Fucking. Pissed.

2/14/2018 Another film from the PM Series: Retro Puppet Master. Still pretty fun.


2017

Articles

1/31/2017 My first article of 2017 for Slack Jaw Punks: Love Gone Wrong, an endearing list of films that feature psychopaths and horror.

Movies

CINEMA HEADCHEESE REVIEWS

12/29/2017 Latest review for CHC: Kill Katie Malone. Meh.

11/11/2017 New review up at Cinema Head Cheese: Space Boobs in Space. Actually kinda fun but don't look for nudity. You won't find it.

9/7/2017 Another gem for you at Cinema Head Cheese: Hold Your Breath. Ugh.

7/25/2017 Next for Cinema Head Cheese: 9 Days: Whipped, Chained, and Tortured by a Psychopath. Seriously, I can't make this shit up.

7/1/2017 Another one for Cinema Head Cheese: Daddy's Little Girl. Well done revenge thriller. I know, right?

5/1/2017 Latest for Cinema Head Cheese: House on Straw Hill. FUCKING ART FILM!!

4/14/2017 Double feature review for Cinema Head Cheese: The Scarlet Scorpion and Deadtime Stories. Campy cheesy fun.

4/2/2017 New on for Cinema Head Cheese: Dust Up. Not that bad of a western-exploitation-comedy film.

3/23/2017 I reviewed an actual play for Cinema Head Cheese: The Visitation. It's okay.

2/6/2017 One for Cinema Head Cheese: Muckman. Meh monster movie.

1/20/2017 Latest for Cinema Head Cheese: The Manson Family. So much artsy bullshit.

1/7/2017 First of the year for Cinema Head Cheese: The Devil Lives Here. Could have been good. It wasn't.

 

SLACK JAW PUNKS REVIEWS (usually Drunken Monkey)

12/11/2017 Sixth installment of my Drunken Monkey series review: Puppet Master VI: Curse of the Puppet Master. Now they're getting stupid.

11/20/2017 Fifth installment of my Drunken Monkey series review - Puppet Mast V: The Final Chapter

10/4/2017 Fourth movie for my Drunken Monkey series review - Puppet Master IV: The Demon

8/23/17 Third film in my Drunken Monkey series review - Puppet Master III: Toulon's Revenge

7/16/2017 Second film in my Drunken Monkey series review - Puppet Master II.

6/18/2017 Started a new series review for my Drunken Monkey column at Slack Jaw Punks. Puppet Master. Hooray!

3/16/2017 Drunken Monkey Movie Review over at SlackJawPunks: Get Out. Be prepared. I didn't like it.

1/21/2017 My latest Drunken Monkey Movie Review for SlackJawPunks is up. Split isn't horror but it's a damn good thriller.


2016

Articles

7/11/2016

My Top 10 Sexy Horror Heroines/Villains. It's the all lady counterpart to my Heroes piece.

4/9/2016

My Top 10 Foreign Horror Films for SlackJawPunks. It's American to like foreign horror! 

1/18/2016

To warm us all up for Valentine's Day, here's my Top 10 Twisted Kisses in tv/film for you at SlackJawPunks. 

 

Movies

December, 2016 I did a whole series review of the Silent Night, Deadly Night films for both Cinema Head Cheese and Slack Jaw Punks. The reviews are the same at both but the intros are different. Check out whichever one floats your boat more!

12/3/2016

Latest for Cinema Head Cheese Double Feature: Dead & Rotting and Stitches. Not that terrible actually!

11/29/2016

Got a new Drunken Monkey movie review at Slack Jaw Punks: Shut In. It blows.

11/8/2016

Hey! My 100th movie review for Cinema Head Cheese: The Mutilator. Meh. 

10/5/2016

New one for you at Cinema Head Cheese: Meat. I LOATHE ART HOUSE FILMS. 

10/1/2016

Fun one for Slack Jaw Punks: Spaghetti Man.

9/10/ 2016

Latest for Cinema Head Cheese: Island of the Cannibal Death Gods. I shit you not.

9/9/2016

Got one for Rare Horror: Deep Red. Decent but way too long.

9/3/2016

Next for Slack Jaw Punks: Evil Gene. It's...okay.

8/26/ 2016

Another for Cinema Head Cheese: Anna, Scream Queen Killer. Meh.

8/17/2016

Double header for you at Cinema Head Cheese: The Dirty Sanchez and Leaf Blower Massacre. Just terrible.

7/23/2016

My newest Drunken Monkey Movie Review for SlackJawPunks is up. Scream, Pretty Peggy. Ain't too bad.

7/10/2016

A not so bad indie film review for Cinema Head Cheese: The Laughing Mask.

6/27/2016

My latest for Rare Horror: Blood of Dracula. Artsy bullshit. 

6/2/2016

I've started a new column for Slack Jaw Punks: Drunken Monkey Movie Reviews. My first one is up for the disaster of a film, #Horror. It's...it's just terrible. #Horror

5/4/2016

Another stinker for Cinema Head Cheese: Betrothed (2016). I watch these so you don't have to.

4/29/2016

My latest for Cinema Head Cheese: The Horde (2016). It's...average but still kind of fun.

4/19/2016

Haven't been to Rare Horror in a bit so finally got a new review for them: Intruder. 80s awesomeness.

4/4/2016

My latest for Cinema Head Cheese: Frightmare. Actually kind of enjoyable.

3/27/2016

An oldie but a goodie. Check out my review of Black Widow for Cinema Head Cheese.

3/24/2016

Another offering for Cinema Head Cheese: Tenderness of the Wolves. Murder, cannibalism, post WWI Germany - what could go wrong? Decent flick but very slow. 

3/9/2016

My latest for Cinema Head Cheese: The Marquis de Sade's Justine. Not as sexy as it should be.

2/25/2016

I was reminded how terrible this movie was. Oh well. John Carpenter's Vampires for Cinema Head Cheese.

2/4/2016

I almost forgot I did this review for CHC. Probably because it was so bad: Werewolves in Heat

2/3/2016

I did a quick little pod short review of The Boy. It was a good one. 

1/19/2016

Enjoy this double dose of terribleness for Cinema Head Cheese: Hellinger and Holy Terror

1/16/2016

My offering to Rare Horror: Cockney Vs Zombies. A lot of fun, very entertaining, and funny!  

1/7/2016

My first review for 2016 is of the animated film, Wrinkles, for Cinema Head Cheese. It was pretty brilliant. 

 

2015

BOOKS

9/7/2015

I totally forgot I reviewed a book for my friend, David C. Hayes: Greasepaint. I enjoyed it. Disturbing if somewhat underdeveloped story. Check it out!        https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/1385667855?book_show_action=false

6/19/2015

I got the chance to review a great book for Slackjaw Punks: Head Full of Ghosts by Paul Tremblay. Great read.  http://slackjawpunks.com/a-head-full-of-ghosts-book-review/

ARTICLES

11/13/15

My latest article for Slack Jaw Punks: 20 Life Lessons Horror Movies Got Wrong. http://slackjawpunks.com/where-horror-movies-got-it-wrong-20-life-lessons/

10/1/2015

My offering of 20 horror movies on Netflix you really need to see.   http://slackjawpunks.com/20-horror-movies-you-need-to-watch-on-netflix/

8/31/2015

After the passing of Wes Craven on Sunday, August 30, my friends at SJP asked me to write an article about his films. So I've chosen 10 of my favorite Wes Craven films. I hope you enjoy and maybe watch a few in his honor.   http://slackjawpunks.com/ten-times-wes-craven-was-a-fucking-genius/

1/1/2015

My latest article for SJP: some of my favorite movies within the different genres of horror. Had to make it a short list or we'd be here forever. http://slackjawpunks.com/fuck-highlander-can-never-just-one/

MOVIES

12/22/2015

My new review for Cinema Head Cheese: Auteur. Ugh, so boring.  http://cinemaheadcheese.blogspot.com/2015/12/auteur-2013-movie-review.html

11/28/2015

Another offering for Cinema Head Cheese: The New Barbarians. Not good. Perhaps the old ones are better...?  http://cinemaheadcheese.blogspot.com/2015/11/the-new-barbarians-1983-movie-review.html

11/13/2015

My latest review for Cinema Head Cheese: The Eternal Return of Antonis. OMG I need a drink. http://cinemaheadcheese.blogspot.com/2015/11/the-eternal-return-of-antonis-2013.html

11/12/15

My latest for Rare Horror: Re-Animator. What a lovely trip down memory lane! http://rarehorror.com/2015/11/12/re-animator-1985-review/

10/26/2015

My latest review for Cinema Head Cheese: In the Land of Cannibals. Barf bag anyone (and not for the reasons you might think)?                                                                                           http://cinemaheadcheese.blogspot.com/2015/10/in-land-of-cannibals-2004-movie-review.html

10/7/2015

My latest review for Rare Horror: The House of Seven Corpses. Not so good, sadly.  http://rarehorror.com/2015/10/06/the-house-of-seven-corpses-1974-review/

9/22/2015

My new podshort for CinemaHeadCheese: The Visit. WAIT! Don't go! It's actually a decent M. Knight movie!  http://cinemaheadcheese.blogspot.com/2015/09/cinema-head-cheese-podshort-visit-2015.html

9/5/2015

My latest review for Cinema Head Cheese: Escape from the Bronx. It's like Escape from NY only terrible. http://cinemaheadcheese.blogspot.com/2015/09/escape-from-bronx-1983-movie-review.html

8/30/2015

My review of the continuing saga of the Death Note series: Death Note II - The Last Name. It's pretty cool. http://rarehorror.com/2015/08/30/death-note-ii-the-last-name-2006-review/

8/12/2015

My review of the (apparently) infamous Turkish Star Wars for Slackjaw Punks.  http://slackjawpunks.com/turkish-star-wars-1982-movie-review/

7/24/2015

My latest for Cinema Head Cheese: Prison Girl, my first review, ever, of porn. I feel so grown up. http://cinemaheadcheese.blogspot.com/2015/07/prison-girl-2008-movie-review.html

7/1/2015

My latest for Rare Horror, the continuing saga of Satan's virus: REC4.           http://rarehorror.com/2015/07/01/rec-4-apocalypse-2014-review/

6/5/2015

My latest for Cinema Head Cheese: Zombeavers. I just...I don't even know.  http://cinemaheadcheese.blogspot.com/2015/06/zombeavers-2014-movie-review.html

6/3/2015

My review for Rare Horror of the Japanese film, Ring of Curse. So. Ridiculous.   http://rarehorror.com/2015/06/03/ring-of-curse-2011-review/

5/7/2015

The final installment of the Child's Play franchise review for Slackjaw Punks. Enjoy.  http://slackjawpunks.com/childs-play-franchise-review-part-iii/

4/20/2015

Here's another podshort I did for Cinema Head Cheese for the movie, The Babadook. Creepy as hell.  http://cinemaheadcheese.blogspot.com/2015/04/cinema-head-cheese-podshort-babadook.html

4/12/15

My latest review for Cinema Head Cheese. A killer blow up doll flick! Yes, it's real. No, I'm not lying.  http://cinemaheadcheese.blogspot.com/2015/04/blown-2005-movie-review.html

4/1/2015

Part Two in the continuing saga of Child's Play reviews for Slackjaw Punks.  http://slackjawpunks.com/childs-play-franchise-review-part-two/

3/26/2015

My latest for Rare Horror: 54 Days, an Australian thriller that's not really all THAT thrilling. It's...okay.  http://rarehorror.com/2015/03/25/54-days-2014-review/

3/10/2015

I've begun a three-part series of articles reviewing the Child's Play franchise. Head on over to Slackjaw Punks and have a look! http://slackjawpunks.com/childs-play-movie-franchise-review-part-one/

2/17/2015

My latest review for Cinema Head Cheese. It's a two-fer! It's not horror, which isn't necessarily bad but I couldn't understand what any of them were saying! http://cinemaheadcheese.blogspot.com/2015/02/riff-raff-1991-and-raining-stones-1993.html

1/14/2015

Did another pod short for Cinema Head Cheese. My review of Woman in Black 2: Angel of Death. I've got two words for you. So. Boring.                               http://cinemaheadcheese.blogspot.com/2015/01/cinema-head-cheese-podshort-woman-in.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+CinemaHeadCheese+%28Cinema+Head+Cheese%29


2014

BOOKS

8/23/2014

I've recently reviewed a book written by my friends, David Hayes and Kevin Moyers, called Keeping Molly. It's a nice spin on the zombie trope and had me alternately in tears and very very angry. I posted it over at Goodreads so why not take a peek?https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/1034592358?book_show_action=false

ARTICLES

10/21/2014

Another article for Slack Jaw Punks: my list of Top 10 Sexiest Heroes/Villains.  http://slackjawpunks.com/top-10-sexiest-horror-heroes-villains

9/30/2014

I wrote my first of (hopefully) many pieces for Slack Jaw Punks. A list of 5 horror movies I like to watch at Halloween. Not a complete list, naturally, but I do love these! http://slackjawpunks.com/peggys-top-5-halloween-horror-flicks/

MOVIES

12/30/2014

Most likely my last review for 2014 goes to Rare-Horror: Phase IV. It's actually a good bug movie!  http://rare-horror.com/2014/12/30/phase-iv-1974-movie-review/

12/16/2014

Review for Cinema Head Cheese: Rosemary's Baby (2014). Fucking remakes, man.  http://cinemaheadcheese.blogspot.com/2014/12/rosemarys-baby-2014-remake-movie-review.html

12/10/2014

Review for Cinema Head Cheese: Anna. *shrugs*  http://cinemaheadcheese.blogspot.com/2014/12/anna-2013-movie-review.html

11/27/2014

Review for Cinema Head Cheese: The Legend of the Hillbilly Butcher. Not legen--WAIT FOR IT--dary.  http://cinemaheadcheese.blogspot.com/2014/11/legend-of-hillbilly-butcher-2014-movie.html

11/11/2014

Review for Cinema Head Cheese: Dead Within. Pretty good, actually.              http://cinemaheadcheese.blogspot.com/2014/11/dead-within-2014-movie-review.html

10/20/2014

My latest review for Cinema Head Cheese: I'll Follow You Down. Decent time travel movie. http://cinemaheadcheese.blogspot.com/2014/10/ill-follow-you-down-2013-movie-review.html

10/13/2014

My first podcast short movie review of Dracula Untold for Cinema Head Cheese. Hopefully I don't sound like an idiot because this is a really good movie. And not just because Luke Evans is Dracula. Mmmm, Dracula….  http://cinemaheadcheese.blogspot.com/2014/10/cinema-head-cheese-podshort-dracula.html

10/4/2014

My latest for Rare-Horror: Sorority House Massacre. The pickaxe to the chest was the best part.                                            http://rare-horror.com/2014/10/04/sorority-house-massacre-1986-movie-review/

9/22/2014

My newest review for Cinema Head Cheese: The Midnight Game. I actually enjoyed it more than I thought.  http://cinemaheadcheese.blogspot.com/2014/09/the-midnight-game-2013-movie-review.html

9/5/2014

My latest review for Cinema Head Cheese: The Quiet Ones. Not the best movie but certainly no the worst either.  http://cinemaheadcheese.blogspot.com/2014/09/the-quiet-ones-2014-movie-review.html

8/21/2014

My latest review for Rare-HorrorNobody Can Cool. Apparently I'm the only one who didn't like it (according to other reviews I've read out there). Whatevs.  http://rare-horror.com/2014/08/21/nobody-can-cool-2013-movie-review/

8/13/2014

Cinema Head Cheese: Teenage Catgirls in Heat . Boooring.                  http://cinemaheadcheese.blogspot.com/2014/08/teenage-catgirls-in-heat-1994.html