The Monkey Is In.

So be prepared. Bring a banana.

I'm a writer of horror and dark fiction. I've been doing this since 1999 and believe me when I say, it's cheaper than therapy and safer for the world at large.

Filtering by Tag: Bath and Body Works

Morgue Drawer June 2018

Here we are again, folks. As the temperatures remain in the nineties, it feels safer to me to stay inside and write up a few blog posts/reviews. So let's start with my trash, eh?

 

AND SO....I DIE...

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These make me sad. There's still product in each container but either the formulas have changed, they smell off, or they tingle against my lips and they're not supposed to do that. So I need to trash them.

Medusa's Makeup Lip Paint Remover: This stuff works great on MM's lip paints but after a while, the smell got horrible and the cap is all sticky and crusty with dried oil. It's basically almond oil, grapeseed oil, and fragrance so I imagine just almond oil will work fine. But they're having a sale right now and it's half off! I might keep the bottle and reuse it for something else. (CF)

Elf Luscious Liquid Lipstick in Nude Pink: I love this color and the formula. It started out smelling like mint but now it smells like menthol so into the garbage it goes. Would totally buy again, though, if they still had this shade. Which they don't. (CF)

Colourpop Lippies: These are probably the oldest CP lippies I own so it makes sense that they smell funny now, or the formulas have changed and actually burn when I put them on. As I have a ton of other lipsticks and glosses, I don't NEED to repurchase. Doesn't mean I won't, though...(L to R) Ultra Glossy Lip in Tight Fit; Ultra Satin in So Wavy, Lost, Petit Four, and Marshmallow (Tight Fit, Lost, and Marshmallow are still available on the CP site). 

 

SCRUB-A-DUB AND SMELL GOOD

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Paul Mitchell Instant Moisture Conditioner: I've been enjoying a lot of Paul Mitchell products lately and the hubby loves this conditioner (and matching shampoo), too! It works pretty well to keep hair clean and moisturized, which is good for me since I bleach my hair now. I ended up buying the bigger size so hubs and I can share. (CF)

Phyto Color Enhancing Hair Mask: I got this sample with an Ulta order, I think. Though it worked really well (at least at moisturizing), it's not a Cruelty Free brand so I won't be purchasing it in the future. It's also $59 for 6 ounces. Uh...no. (NCF)

Purlisse Coconut Oil and Coffee Sugar Scrub: This was a decent scrub, smelled great, but I only got one use out of this sample size. You need to use a lot to cover the whole body (I did, anyway, and I'm not very big). (CF/Vegan)

Mitchum Stick Deodorant: This worked okay. I like the clear gel formula much better. Pretty sure any deodorant that isn't one of the 'natural' brands, isn't cruelty free. (NCF)

Nature's Truth Sweet Almond Oil: I like to use this on my feet and toenails after I shower. It's a nice, light oil, that absorbs quickly into the skin. Good for all over the body, actually. Almond oil is used as a base for other moisturizers because it has no scent. Will buy again (it's not all gone but I poured the remainder into an empty pump bottle for easier dispersement). (CF - ?)

Purple Cat Apothecary Body Butters: Two more from the 5-pack sample set I ordered. The Lemon Chiffon was divine! Lemon and butter cake. The Frostbloom was okay. Kinda floral, kinda minty...hard to pin down. This formula was much thicker and drier than the Lemon one but both worked very well, especially over the almond oil I talked about above. (CF) NOTE: This was originally an Etsy store with art and body products. Apparently, Etsy is making is difficult and more expensive for people to use it as a store front so this woman only has an on-line art store at a separate website. Dammit.

 

SQUEAKY CLEAN

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TN Dickinson's Witch hazel: I like to use this after I do a mud mask. It's great for cleaning off any excess or left behind product without drying out my skin. I know a lot of people hate the smell of witch hazel but it doesn't bother me at all. Very gentle and could be used every day. I think I got mine at the grocery store but it's sold everyone it seems. (CF/Vegan)

Everyone Lavender and Coconut Hand Soap: We've tried a few scents from this brand and I really have enjoyed them all. This and the Lemon/Mandarin one have been been my favorites. Great for the kitchen! (CF)

BBW Good Vibes Only foaming hand soap: I bought this scent to get a deal at Bath and Body Works so I wasn't expecting it to be great but I love it. Even the hubby, who's not one for a lot of scented cleansers, really liked it. But...because it's BBW, and they sell to China, I really have only been keeping my purchases to candles (I love their candles and haven't found anything else to replace them yet). (NCF)

 

 

CHOMPERS AND THE LIKE

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ACT Restoring Mouthwash: I used this stuff every day with Invisalign and now it's just a habit I can't quit. Which is good! My teeth need a lot of help so this fluoride rinse is perfect. Doesn't burn like a mo-fo, either. (NCF)

Tom's of Maine Maximum Strength Sensitive toothpaste: Love this stuff. Will keep buying. (CF)

Simply Creative Living Honey Cherry Almond lip balm: I believe I talked about another lip balm from this company. I got it at my city's Farmer's Market or the 4th of July fair. Can't remember. This was just okay. Probably won't repurchase. (CF)

 

ALL ABOUT THAT FACE

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NO:HJ Sheet Mask: Got this from my monthly subscription, Facestory. It was really nice and it had all these gold colored flowers all over it. I felt so fancy! It's a Korean brand so the cruelty free status is hard to know/confirm.

The Ordinary Buffet serum: I've raved about this product before here but lately, this stuff hasn't been working all that well. It's actually been breaking me out. I know skin can acclimate to a product, making it less effective, even develop reactions to some. Seems that's what's happened here. So while my backup bottles sit unused, I'm trying something else. I'll let you know how it goes. (CF)

Ole Henrickson Banana Bright Eye Cream: Got this in one of my last Ipsy bags, I think. The cream is yellow but not sure it's brightening. It's thick but doesn't absorb that well. In fact, it didn't really do shit. (CF)

SkinRX Labs MadeCera Cream: Another sample product but can't remember where I go it. I really enjoyed it, though. Felt great on the skin and did a good job of moisturizing. Again, SkinRX is Korean so can't confirm or deny cruelty free status.

Formula 10.0.6 Day/Night Cream: I've been using the day and night creams for a while. Still loving them. (CF)

 

ALL SORTS OF STUFF

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The Ordinary Fluid Primer (forgot to put this with the makeup): This stuff is pure shit. When I bought it, the bottle was barely half full (but it wasn't wet or sticky so nothing leaked - it just wasn't filled). Can't get it out of the bottle THROUGH the dropper so I'd just wipe off enough OFF the dropper to put on my face. And then I felt like a total grease ball. I can't even use it up because it feels so gross and my skin hates it. (CF)

Burt's Bees Cleansing Oil: I really like cleansing oils so I thought I'd give BB's version a shot. It's...okay. Smells a little weird and doesn't do a great job but it's fine. I actually didn't finish this yet but I put the remaining product in a travel bottle. (CF)

Nip + Fab Glycolic Cleansing Pads: I got a sample pack of these years ago when I was still getting the Walmart box. And I really liked them so I got this full size at the drug store. Turned out they didn't really do that much for my skin. But I like the travel friendly pre-soaked pads (as opposed to a bottle) even though these felt kind of dry. Maybe that's why they didn't seem to do much. I'd be willing to try them again, though, in case I got a bad batch. (CF)

Manyo Factory Herb Green Cleansing Oil: I'm pretty sure this sample was what started my love of cleansing oils. This stuff was great. Smelled good and did a great job of removing makeup, especially after the heavy stuff I use for convention appearances! It's another Korean brand so I don't know if they're cruelty free.

First Aid Beauty Hydrating Serum (not sure why I didn't put this with the previous stuff): I've used a couple products from this brand before and while I did like them, I don't feel the brand is so superb to be worth the higher price tag. I did really enjoy this, though. (CF)

Morgue Drawer March 2018

Welcome to my trash! This is a post dedicated to all the products I've used up over the past few months so I'm pretty sure I know how they perform, smell, feel, taste, and wear on my personage. (AGAIN - these are reviews of how these products work for MY body). I'll provide links to all, assuming I can find them, so you can check them out for yourselves.

 

BEAT THAT MUG

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Essence Lash Princess Volume Mascara: Love this mascara, though this tube seemed drier than past tubes I've used. Could be I had it in my drawer too long!

Lunatcik Costmetic Labs lipsticks: I love the color on these but the bullets are so dry and sticky now, I can't even swatch them let alone use them on my lips. *sad trombone* Mine were the old packaging, apparently, so looks like you have to get the gold packaging now.

NYX Dewy Finishing Spray: I love this and it has replaced the ELF one I used to use.

Essence Eyeliner brush: I absolutely love this for gel liners. I imagine if I had a liquid one where the wand or brush went wonky, this would work great for that, too. And it's $2!

 

LIKE BUTTAH

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Bath & Body Works Body Cream (Jasmine & Vanilla): I know B&BW sells in China but I still haven't found anything to replace this scent, one of the best I've ever found in my life in a body product. The whole Sensual line is this combo of jasmine and vanilla and is pure heaven. This body cream is excellent. AND FUCK MY LIFE I CAN'T FIND IT ON THE SITE ANYMORE.

Simply Creative Living lip balm (peppermint): This was okay. I got it at the Clawson Farmer's Market, I think, from a local vendor. The quote on there also has a spelling mistake.

PurplecatCreatives Apothecary Body Butters: This is a seller on Etsy. I bought a 6-pack of minis to try out. These are super thick and hard to spread on the skin. BUT they're perfect for your feet. The Dragon Butter scent (dragons blood) was a little too heavy. The Candlelight scent (which I can't remember and there's no description - it's seasonal) was nice but a little perfumy. I'm using Lemon Chiffon now which is heavenly. 

Skin & Co Umbrian Truffle hand cream: Decent hand cream. Smells like coconut.

 

(MOSTLY) CLEAN AND SHINY

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Marc Anthony Nourishing Argan Oil shampoo/conditioner: This stuff worked really well. The shampoos that say they're 'color safe' are useless. Find yourself a good moisturizing one and that will work much better. This line is really good - scent it nice, my color didn't fade too quickly, and my hair felt wonderful.

Hask Charcoal Purifying Dry Shampoo: I liked this one because it didn't leave a lot of white residue that most dry shampoos do. Smells good, too. Not the best dry shampoo I've used but decent!

MY SKIN WOULD MAKE A GREAT LAMP SHADE

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Mario Badescu Facial Spray with rose water: I love this stuff so much. I'm still working on a giant bottle I got off HauteLook. I recently got the lavender one, too, and it's great to use before bed.

Formula 10.0.6 Day/Night Creams: I love these. The day has SPF15, which I know isn't a lot but it works fine. Nice cream and doesn't make me feel greasy. The night cream is great, too. It makes a great seal over my serum and oils.

Benton Honest Cleansing foam: This was a nice gentle cleanser. It was nice to take traveling, too.

The Ordinary Buffet serum: Love it. Works great. Will continue to buy!

 

DEBRIS (AKA RANDOM ASSORTMENT)

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Seventh Generation Free & Clear Wipes: I wanted to find some wipes to replace the small packs of makeup wipes I've used over the years. I don't use them on my face - mostly just for cleaning swatches. So why not baby wipes? These were pretty good. If I did need to take something off my face (a mistake perhaps?) these did sting a bit and left some lint behind. But for general swatches they were fine. Trying something different now, though.

ACT Restoring Mouthwash (cool mint): Since I've started Invisalign (last August), I worry about my teeth being covered up all the time and trapped food, etc. So in addition to more brushing and flossing, I use this mouthwash. I love ACT. This and the green flavor (mint - my preferred) do NOT sting at all.

Mitchum Dry spray deodorant: I discovered this brand when Secret stopped worked for me. And I really like the gel so I thought I'd give this a try. WAAAAY to heavy on the scent but the product works well. I'm back to the gel, though.

Tom's of Main toothpaste: I wanted to see if their non-fluoride sensitive toothpaste works as well as the maximum sensitive fluoride one. It does not. Plus I like having fluoride in my oral care as much as possible because I am cavity prone. But I can only find it at The Vitamin Shoppe - which is fine. I have a membership there!

Hello Sensitivity Relief toothpaste: Meh. Not a foaming paste, which is fine, but felt like I wasn't actually brushing with any product. Didn't help with sensitivity that much, either. The taste was bleh. But the worst part was trying to open the flip cap. I struggled a lot with it so will not be going back.

Morgue Drawer June 2017

I was going to start posting these MDs more often. I would fill up a box with empties and post. But since February, I got a bigger box (that's what HE said) so it took a lot longer to fill it up (oh wow) and so here we are, four months later. Sorry. I'll try to keep it as short as possible!

ALL THE PAMPERING

So many face masks. They are my weakness. As far as skin care is concerned, anyway...

Skin Rx Labs Re-turn Express: This was an awesome mask. It's been the softest one I've ever tried (and I try a lot). Well saturated and fit pretty good, too.

When 10pm: Very thin mask but it had two protective sheets on either side. Jelly consistency serum. Felt a lot like the rice mask kit I had a while back. Not a ton of left over serum to use but it was nice. The eye holes were a bit small.

When Hydrate: Loved this one. The mask itself felt like jello - like a thin but firm gelatin. So cool. My skin felt so nice after this.

Bonvivant Adenosine & Acai Berry: This is the best Bonvivant mask I've tried. Fit really well and the serum was like a milky essence. My skin felt fantastic!

3 Step Nose Strip (little grey rectangle in the pick - sorry I can't remember the brand!): This was kinda fun. The first step melts the sebum around the nose. It felt like menthol, kind of intense. The second step is the charcoal sticky strip that you have to put on, wet, then let sit before pulling off. Third step was like a mask/serum for the nose. The next day after using this I got a big zit at the end of my nose. :(

Hada Labo Anti-Aging: Super soft material and it fit well. The next day my skin felt great.

Sorry for my Skin Brightening: These are always nice. Not sure if each kind does anything different from the rest but I love the jelly consistency of the serum.

Forencos 7 Days Friday: I only got one of the seven in a snack box (of all things). Super saturated, lots of left over serum to soak on top. Once I was done, though, it stayed tacky on my face. Never fully sunk in. The holes in the mask were small. My skin felt nice but the next day I was super oily in my T-zone.

My Beloved Girl Extreme Moisture: Decent, skin felt very nice (don't have a lot of notes on this one).

Nan Well Cucumber: I LOVE this one! Very soft material, my skin felt great the next day. I've used this one a few times and it's always been nice. (can't find a link, though)

SooAe Brightening: Very saturated, felt really nice. My skin loved it. But the eye holes were way too small.

ToSowoong Super Aqua Essence: This stung like a mo fo. Had to take it off after 3 minutes. My skin was sticky for hours.

 

CLEAN THAT SHIT UP...THEN SOFTEN IT

Mario Badescu Enzyme Cleansing Gel: This was a nice, gentle cleanser. Hard to get out of the bottle by the end (as you can still see some in there). Haven't repurchased.

Tarte Deep Dive Cleansing Gel: I got this sample with a Tarte order and I loved it. My skin felt so soft and smooth afterwards. I ended up buying a bigger size.

DHC Deep Cleaning Oil: Got this sample in the mail (I think the 3B site sold my info to their affiliates because I got a travel size of this in a past bag). I really like it though. I'm using the travel size now. I might actually buy this.

The Ordinary Hyaluronic Acid 2%: I got this as part of their recommended anti-aging regimen (along with their Buffet serum, Retinoid, and Rose hip oil). I don't feel that this stuff gave me any extra moisture like it's supposed to. Haven't repurchased.

Tarte Maracuja Oil (not pictured): Got a tiny sample of this stuff from Ipsy, I think. Don't really remember. LOVED this for my skin. But this shit is super expensive so I haven't repurchased. I'm reusing the bottle for The Ordinary's rose hip oil and take that with me when I travel. 

Mario Badescu Rose Face Spray: My love for this has not changed. Got two big bottles from Haute Look for a great price so I'm good for a while.

Mario Badescu Hyaluronic Eye Cream: The color changed a bit on this as I got to the bottom so I had to toss it. It works really well but that little dry patch under my eye hasn't returned so I'm probably not going to buy this again unless that little bugger come back.

Mario Badescu Aloe Moisturizer: Decent but it's a little thick for a day cream. Hard to spread over the face evenly without using a giant dollop of it. Won't repurchase.

 

GOODLY WOMEN DO NOT PAINT THEMSELVES...UNTIL THEY DO

ELF Cleansing Cloths: I don't use these for my face. They sting. But they're great for removing swatches. And they're $3.

Heimish All Clean Balm: This came from 3B and I think it was the second cleansing balm I ever tried. I love this. I love the idea of using this kind of gel/cream cleanser to take off makeup. Sure you have to use a regular cleanser after but this 2-step cleansing routing is all the rage now, I guess (an oil would be another option if you don't have the balm). I want to find this or another kind someday.

Tarte Lights Camera Lashes Mascara: Probably one of my favorite mascaras of all time. It's expensive though so I wait for Ulta to have a sale where I can get it 50% off.

NYX Dewy Setting Spray: Not sure this makes me look dewy but it's great at setting makeup and helping it last a long time. It's a little better than the Elf stuff I used to use.

Essence Make Me Brow: Those who know me know I don't have a lot in the way of eye brow hair. So if I just want to thicken them a little bit but not go overboard, this colored gel is perfect. And it's $3! If they made one in grey, that would just complete me so much.

Elf Lip Exfoliator in Cherry: This is such a great idea. I think I had this in my PDMEHGFY post in February. It's a great way to exfoliate your lips in a nice neat package. I have the grapefruit one now and I think it's even better than the cherry flavor.

Milani Lip Oil (raspberry, I think): I loved this stuff at first. Very soothing on the lips. But eventually I realized it didn't moisturize all that well. *shrug* Won't repurchase.

 

RANDOM ASSORTMENT

Tom's of Main Sensitive Toothpaste: This is the nicest sensitive toothpaste I've ever used. Works well and doesn't make my mouth peel (which, according to my dentist's hygienist, is something a very small percentage of the population experiences with sensitive toothpastes - so I'm NOT crazy). Will continue to repurchase.

Paul Mitchell Purple Shampoo: Yes, I don't have blonde hair but a YouTuber I watch (Shannon Shortcake) used this on her bleached platinum hair and a little bit of it turned lavender/grey/purple. So I thought I'd give it a shot on my white/grey hair. It actually does deposit a little lavender/silver touch to my temples and makes the rest look less brassy (if that term can be applied to salt and pepper grey). I might try a few more kinds but I really like this and it smells like cucumbers!

Living Proof Styling Treatment: Got this in an Ipsy or something. While I don't like a lot of this brand's other stuff, this styling cream is actually perfect for my short hair. But they aren't Cruelty Free so I won't be buying again (unless I really can't find a CF alternative).

Mitchum Gel Deodorant: My tried and true Secret deodorant stopped working for me so I had to find a replacement. Mitchum actually works really well. This 'gel' formula is more like the thin watery roll-on style so it flings all over the place. I've since bought the solid stick and that's much better!

 

GET YOUR FILTHY PAWS OFF MY SILKY DRAWERS

Everyone Hand Soap: I wanted to find a cruelty free option for hand soap and I found this stuff at the local Vitamin Shoppe. This scent is heavenly for the kitchen. Very bright and clean. A couple of the other scents are nice, too.

Method Foaming Hand Wash (Sweet Water): Technically, Method does test on animals (a small kind of water bug which maybe a lot of people don't consider on par with bunnies and puppies but it's still a living creature) so I really only buy this scent. The hubs likes to use it to wash his face and it works really well for him so I will continue to buy it.

Bath & Body Works Foaming Hand Soap (Vampire Blood): This only comes out at Halloween so of course I have to buy it. But if you're NOT new here, you know that even though BBW sells in China, I will still buy these kinds of soaps, their candles, and some shower gels because I haven't been able to find anything else that compares. I'm not sorry.

Okay. That'll do it for this installment of my Morgue Drawer. Again, I'll try to do these once a quarter so they're not so much to take in at once (really?).

Morgue Drawer November 2016

Yeah...so much for that every couple of months idea. I should have known better. I'll try harder for 2017. In the meantime, here is my final Morgue Drawer for 2016.

All products have been purchased with my own money (or came in a subscription service I purchase myself) so all opinions are my honest ones.

TELL ME I'M PRETTY

ELF Makeup Wipes: I like these to clean up any swatches I do for picture/testing purposes. They sting my face and eyes too much. At $3, I don't feel bad when they're gone. I will continue to repurchase. (CF)

ELF Makeup Setting Spray: I do like this for my skin. Not everyone agrees it does anything but it seems to work for me. The nozzle can get a little wonky so that pisses me off. I've since purchased a different brand so we'll see how that goes. (CF)

ELF Mineral Infused mascara: Decent product that gets good length (oh boy). You can get a very soft natural look with this. (CF) 

RiRe Mascara: You can get good length with this and so-so volume. The brush is very odd, though. Looks like a old-fashioned toilet brush. (?)

Covergirl Supersizer masacara (Star Wars edition): I got this right after I decided to go cruelty free. So fucking sue me, I was weak. It had Darth Vadar on it, okay? (SW no longer available so the link is to the regular packaging) Fantastic mascara. Great job at lengthening and separating lashes. (NCF)

L'Oreal Invisible Lift CC concealer: Very thin formula so it's not great with coverage. Very brightening though. (NCF)

ALL CLEAN AND SHIT

Bath & Body Works Jasmine Vanilla shower gel: Yes, I still buy this. I knew I would (and I've stated I probably would) because I've never smelled anything like it anywhere else. Hopefully BBW will get their shit together and stop selling to China someday (CF except for the China thing)

Tom's of Maine sensitive toothpaste: I love this stuff. It's the only sensitive toothpaste that does NOT cause the flesh of my cheeks to peel off like every other kind does. I know that's gross but that's what happens to me. (CF)

Method Foaming Soaps: I have discovered a replacement for the BBW foaming hand soaps. Though the lavender scent is waaaaay too strong and the Sea Minerals scent is meh, the Lemon Mint and Sweet Water are awesome. (CF)

Clear Scalp and Hair Therapy shampoo/conditioner: I got these in a Walmart or Target box a long time ago. They're okay. Smell nice. Good for traveling but can't say they did much else. (NCF)

 

I WANT TO CLEAN AND MOISTURIZE YOU ALL OVER

Soap and Glory Vitamin C face wash: My skin loved this face wash. My nose...not so much. The smell is very strong, like Ivory soap strong. It does have some scrubby beads in it but not really enough to do more than get caught in your mouth. Not sure I'll ever purchase again. (CF)

Soap and Glory Body Buttercream in Sugar Crush: The smell of this is amazing! I wish it had a stronger lime scent but it's still pretty fucking good. Also it moisturizes the skin so well that it'll stay soft and smooth until the next time you shower (sometimes I skip a day and my skin retains moisture the whole time). I highly recommend it. (CF)

Burt's Bees Sensitive face cleanser: I used this in the morning and  the S&G one at night. Loved this cream cleanser. Not drying at all. Did a great job. (CF)

CeraVe AM face moisturizer: This is formulated for dry skin. I don't normally have that problem but I did for a few months this year and I don't know why. I also wanted to try it because it's CF. This stuff was great. Didn't need to use a ton of it at one time, either, so this small bottle lasted a long time. Plus it's got SPF30. (CF)

Mario Badescu facial spray: I've been purchasing this for a while now. I will continue repurchasing. I like to use this right before my moisturizer. Lovely smell of roses but not too overpowering. (CF)

Mario Badescu eye creams: I got two samples with an Ulta order: Glycolic eye cream and Ceramide eye gel. Two different formulas but they both had the same results - they never fully absorbed into my skin so I don't feel they did jack shit. If you're super dry under your eyes, you might enjoy this. I am not so I'll stick to the regular hylauronic eye cream I use now. (CF)

UNT Aqua Nettoyant hydrating cleanser: This was great. Not drying, cleaned my skin well. Tastes terrible though (I know you're not supposed to eat it but I can't keep everything out of my mouth all of the...dammit) (owned by Acacia which is CF)

Botanic Farm Grain ferment cleansing sherbet: Very cool product. It has a thicker than Vaseline texture, not super greasy or oily, but great at removing all makeup. Then you wash with your regular cleanser aftereward. Loved this. Probably the best product I've tried at removing ALL makeup. (?)

Juice Beauty Green Apple Peel blemish clearing: This thin jelly-like product was very strange. Not sure if it cleaned my skin but the warm tingly sensation tells me it might have peeled a layer of dead cells off my face. My skin felt really nice after each use. (CF)

It's Skin face pack: This was a little thicker than the Juice Beauty product. Cool texture, made my skin feel nice. But I didn't get 2-3 uses out of it because, even though I taped it closed, it still dried up a bit and became gummy. I just got something similar in my latest 3B bag so maybe I'll get a better idea this time. (CF)

Etude House cleansing oil (not pictured here - it's in my PDMEHGFY post): I loved this stuff. Great at breaking down makeup and smelled great. Still need to use your regular face wash after but it was worth the extra step (just like the cleansing sherbet). (NCF)

TOO BAD HARVEY DENT DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT THESE

I'm Sorry For My Skin pore care and revitalizing sheet masks: These were cool. The essence on these masks is very jelly-like. The mask material is super soft and fit well. My skin felt great after each of these. (found 1 blog with CF claims)

Montagne Jeunesse black seaweed peel mask: I love this stuff. It's intimidating, I admit. And the smell can be off-putting. But I love this one more than most of the others I've tried of this brand. (CF)

Sally's Box Secret Garden ampoule masks: Loved these. You put the extra serum on first. Before it's fully absorbed, you put the serum saturated sheet mask on. Extremely moisturizing, soft cotton mask. My skin felt great after each of these. (?)

Wish Formula centella honey mask: Very soft and fit well. Extra saturated but my skin didn't feel moist when I took it off so I don't think it did much. (?)

Wish Formula Bat eye mask: Loved this. The cloth was soft and saturated and I felt like it moisturized under my eyes (unlike the previous mask). (?)

Tosowoong Sea Cucumber mask: The mask was soft and not overly saturated. Skin felt nice afterwards (NCF)

Bon Vivant masks, chamomile/greet tea and rose: These masks fit very well over my features. The chamomile and tea tree felt a little better than the rose. The rose stung a little but that was just the first one I used. The rose ones are also super fragile (that plastic mesh in the picture is what the mask was wrapped over but it didn't help a couple of them keep their shape - a few have fallen apart on me). (?)

Tony Moly lip patch: very amusing patch as it covered my whole chin! But it totally worked. My lips felt very soft, as did all the other skin this patch covered. (NCF)

Holy shit that's all. Hopefully I won't go 4 months next time!

Morgue Drawer May 2016

And again with keeping on time, though I guess technically I should have posted this a few days ago. But I was at Motor City Comic Con with my writing group so GET OFF MY BACK!

Anyway...let's get to it, shall we?

(Side note: I'm unsure about the cruelty free status of most of the Korean brands. If I know for sure, I'll mention it. Eventually I'll get to the point where I'll just mark CF or NCF but let's ease into that later.)

BECAUSE I'M ALL ABOUT THAT FACE, 'BOUT THAT FACE...

Neutrogena Oil-Free Moisture face lotion: I've used this stuff for years. Nice and lightweight, can put on two layers to get some extra moisturizing, and it's got SPF 15. Unfortunately, Neutrogena is NOT cruelty free so I've got to find an alternative.

Promise Organic Argan Creme face lotion: Speaking of alternatives, this would be a great one. Moisturizes very well without that greasy shiny look/feel that the Neutrogena one can give. And it smells like fresh oranges. This brand IS cruelty free but it doesn't have SPF. I like my face lotion to have sunscreen because I don't always wear makeup so I can't rely on that for sun protection.

Etude House Wonder Pore toner: Not sure this did anything. It didn't over dry my skin or make it break out but did it do anything else? *shrug*

Dr. Brandt PoreDermabrasion: Absolutely TERRIBLE stuff. The scrub was way too harsh and it actually caused two HUGE break outs on my chin. I'm also pretty sure this brand is NOT cruelty free so Dr. Brandt can just go fuck off.

Too Cool For School Egg Mellow Cream: I have a few more sample packs to use up so I'll get a better idea how this works. Initial trial worked well. Nice, thick cream that's very moisturizing. I'm excited to try the rest.

Sephora Lingzhi eye mask: Not really sure if this anti-aged or smoothed anything but my skin felt nice afterwards. Unfortunately, Sephora is not cruelty free so I won't be purchasing anything else from their line. (Note: when I went to find the link, this particular eye mask was no longer available - shocked, I tell you.)

3W Clinic Royal Jelly mask: Super saturated mask. My skin felt great after using it but the cut outs (for eyes, nose, etc.) do not fit my face well at all. It's kind of annoying. I don't want the essence...DEAR GODS IT'S ON MY EYEBALL!!

Botanic Farm Rice mask: This was an awesome cotton mask. Very saturated and the material was super soft. The cut outs fit so much better on my face than the 3W. Really enjoyed this one. (Note: as of the time I'm typing this, the only place I can find that sells this is Meme Box and they're currently sold out.)

 

GEE YOUR HAIR SMELLS LIKE YOU WERE BORN WITH IT

Hask Thickening Conditioner: Very nice. Smells softly of mint, not overpowering or sweet. Don't think it thickened my hair, though. Waiting to finish the shampoo and move on to another Hask product. This brand is cruelty free.

L'Oreal Total Repair 5 Conditioner: It's okay. I used it when I was coloring my hair and it was all frizzy and dry. Meh. L'Oreal is not cruelty free.

Batiste Dry Shampoo: The Fresh scent is better than the others I've tried but it can still be a little overpowering. There's a lot of mixed info out there about this brand, though their parent company tests on animals. As there are a ton of CF alternatives I haven't tried yet, I'll probably work through my current can and move on to something else afterwards.

Smashbox Full Exposure mascara: I really liked this mascara for volume. It was also really great to layer with other mascaras that didn't thicken lashes very well. Smashbox is not CF, though, so I'll never buy this brand (this was a sample I got in Ipsy, I think).

Maybelline Define-A-Lash mascara: Really great at separating lashes and defining them (go figure). But you could never build it up - it just got clumpy, even if layered with another mascara. Maybelline is not CF.

Covergirl Clump Crusher mascara: This was a fantastic mascara. Great at separating lashes and giving a bit of length and volume. Never clumped up even with multiple layers. Covergirl is not CF.

 

SMOOTH AS AN ANDROID'S BOTTOM

Nivea In-Shower lotion: Awesome, awesome stuff. Smells nice and the softness lasted on my skin all day. Unfortunately, Nivea is not CF.

Nivea Kiss of...lip balms: These have been some of my favorite balms. I didn't like the cherry or SPF one but these two are phenomenal. Makes me so sad that Nivea isn't CF. 

Marlowe body lotion: This is an okay moisturizer but the scent is heavy on the herbal side which I didn't care for. This brand is cruelty free, though!

Revo lip balm: It was all right. I've had a few others and this one probably had the best scent/flavor. But it's really waxy and doesn't last long on the lips. Because this is a Walgreens brand, it's not CF.

 

DIRTY AND HAIRY IS NO WAY TO GO THROUGH LIFE

Bath and Body Works foaming hand soap: Most of their scents are spot on for me. Rainkissed Leaves was clean and fresh, not too heavy; Coastal Water Lily was too strong (but lilies can be very heady); the Kitchen Lemon is the best. Unfortunately, BBW sells their products in China so even though they are CF here in the US, they are basically supporting animal testing elsewhere. Honestly, though, if I can't find another soap/candle/body wash brand that works for me, I will probably continue to purchase these few things from them.

Sally Hansen spray on hair remover: This stuff has an overpowering smell, as do most depilatories. But I like the convenience of a spray on. It works pretty well on thick coarse hair (read: bikini line) but I still need to use a wash cloth to help remove the foam/hair (even though you're supposed to be able to just rinse it off). Sally Hansen isn't cruelty free.

 

Okay. That covers the last couple of months. Tune in around mid-July for the next installment!

March Morgue Drawer

It's been EXACTLY 2 months since I posted my last MD. Way to keep on schedule, Monkey. WOOHOO!

 

BEAT THAT MUG

Top Picture:

Mario Badescu Facial Spray - I use this stuff every morning after I wash my face but before I put on my moisturizer. It smells like roses and makes my skin feel soft. I'll mist this on during the day, too, if I want a little refresher. Already repurchased.

Chapstick Hydration Lock Day/Night - the day side, with SPF, was actually drying. Did not like at all. The night side was much better but I accidentally smooshed it before I could finish it up. Oh well.

Peter Thomas Roth Oilless Oil - Um, feels like oil to me, pal. Nice, light, worked as a good extra layer of moisture under my night cream. Not sure I'd use it in the summer though.

H2O+ Micro Collagen Moisturizer - felt soft, like a silicone primer, but my skin still felt tight and dry. Had to double up or use an oil underneath.

Be a Bombshell Lip Balm - LOVED this stuff. Very smooth and soft. Lasted on my lips for a long time.

Advanced Snail 96 Essence - I can't tell if this serum did anything but I liked the texture of it. Felt like a thin gel, not an oil. My skin did look nice but who knows if this alone was responsible.

Sephora Rose Eye Mask - It felt nice. Didn't really see a difference in my under eye though.

3W Clinic Masks - The Aloe mask felt super soft. Didn't feel like it did much, though. The Snail mask was dry as hell. The Milk mask was nice and my skin felt very moisturized after. (I linked the Aloe one but you can search for the others from there)

Missha Eye Patch - Technically, there were two. It actually burned a little. My skin felt dry after I took them off.

Hada Labo Anti Aging Mask - very nice mask, super saturated with essence. My skin felt really nice after. But anti aging? *shrugs*

Bottom Picture:

CVS Oil Free Eye Makeup Remover (dupe for Neutrogena brand)- meh. Does an okay job but it stung a little.

Nip+Fab Exfoliating Facial Pads - Loved these. Smell is good, soft and light. And they're not rough. The exfoliating comes from the glycolic acid, I believe. It did feel like there was a film on my skin but more of a protective one as opposed to that unclean feeling. Kinda cool.

Vasanti Enzymatic Face Cleanser - nice cleanser but way too harsh for my skin. It actually created bumps on my face. Not cool.

Simple Cleansing Micellar Water - meh. Does an okay job but it doesn't remove all makeup. It stings a bit on the eyes, too.

Montagne Jeunesse Cucumber Peel Off Mask - I've tried a bunch from this brand and this was just okay. The smell is super strong and I didn't see or feel any difference in my skin.

Skin Food 3-Step System - Egg White Pore Foam was a great cleanser. The Water Berry Serum felt super light and smelled great! The Miracle 10 Cream has a nice floral scent, moisturized very well, and it lasted all night. A great trio face care system.

 

DOES A BODY GOOD (OR NOT)

Top Picture:

Mitchell and Peach Body Cream - nice light cream, absorbs well. Smells TERRIBLE.

Albertini International Divine Skin Hydrator - this is  the first in-shower moisturizer I ever used. Loved it! Doesn't leave the shower too slippery and the moisture lasted all day.

Etude House "My Castle" Rose Hand Cream - AWESOME AWESOME! This is a nice thick hand cream. Very moisturizing and it smells just like fresh cut roses. I have a lot of good luck with Etude House products.

La Vanilla Body Butter - I think I talked about this in a PD/MEH/GFY post. The cream is nice but the smell is so artificial and kind of sickening. Their perfume is awesome but this stuff sucks.

NSpa Coconut Body Butter - the smell is very artificial but the cream itself is fantastic. My skin felt soft all day.

Schick Hydro Razor - the moisture strip surrounding the blades wears out really fast but it's still a decent razor.

Bottom Picture:

Bath and Body Works Vampire Blood Foaming Soap - I've kind of fallen in love with foaming hand soaps. Smells like plums but it's very sweet - might be off putting to some. (this was a limited edition Halloween scent but the link will take you to the rest of their foaming soaps)

Caress Body Wash - these are good body washes. This scent is very strong but it didn't seem overpowering.

Marc Anthony Oil of Morocco Hair Spray - at this point, I will never buy another hair spray besides this one. Light hold, smells fantastic. This is my 2nd or 3rd travel size. I get the full sized can, too.

Oil of Olay Body Wash - this was very nice. Soft scent and really hydrated my skin.

Bath and Body Works Sensual Body Wash - LOOOOOOOOVE this scent. I have another bottle just waiting for me.

 

Okay. That should do it for this installment. Tune in mid May (probably AFTER Comic Con) for the continuing saga of shit I've used up...

Morgue Drawer

It hasn't even been two months yet but I think I need to do this post. I had a lot of samples to talk about plus some regular every day crap. If I wait too much longer I might have to break this up into three posts! Heavens to Betsy!

Face and Eyeballs

Mario Badescu Eye Cream: I got a sample of this in one of my subscription bags. And it is awesome. So moisturizing, no crazy smell. Nothing will get rid of my smile lines (and why would I want them to go away?) but this cream is so nice to use. I also have a little dry patch near the corner of my eye and this stuff really helped diminish it - and nothing has worked that well before. Nothing.

Josie Moran Face Oil (Argan): This stuff smells fantastic. And my face felt so soft afterwards. But the foil packet totally failed so I couldn't get more than one use from it. *sadness ensued*

Burt's Bees Renewal Serum: I've talked about this before. This is my second bottle. Though I thought it was gentle enough to use twice a day, I noticed that my skin dries out if I do that. So I stick to night time use (though right now I haven't repurchased because I've got a bottle of ROC Retinol treatment to finish).

Ahava Purifying Mud Mask: This stuff was okay. It smelled rather strong, like a combination spa/herbal scent. It was also gritty so it felt a little rough on my face. It's definitely not as purifying as a Freeman mud mask I use. It also started to sting after I worked halfway through the tube.

Olay Tone Perfecting Cream Moisturizer: My skin felt like BUTTAH after using this. Unfortunately the sample size only allowed for one use and you can't really tell if it's working until after 8 weeks. So...there you go.

Origins GinZing Eye Cream: Does NOT depuff like it claims. "Brightens" is just a word these eye creams use because it has a shiny pearlized finish. It actually made my dark circles look worse.

Klorane Eye Patches: Arrrggghh! No, not those kind of eye patches. These were thick and soft under eye patches. They didn't really do anything but instead of sticking from being over saturated with essence, they had a gel like surface that clung to the skin. Kinda cool even if useless.

Sephora Honey Eye Mask: I had two of these (one I ordered and one I got in a beauty subscription, I think). The first set stung my skin but I wanted to try the second packet just in case that was a fluke. It was nicer the 2nd time and I left them on about 10 minutes longer. Nothing outstanding but nice.

 

Naked Time (aka body lotions)

Elite Therapeutics Body Cream: Smells quite a bit like the plastic tube it comes in but my skin felt really good. The softness lasted all day!

H20+ Sea Salt Hydrating Body Butter: Very nice! It wasn't greasy, smelled good, and the moisturizing lasted a long time.

H20+ Sea Amber Body Lotion: This stuff smelled great...at first (like citrus). But it quickly morphed into plastic. Does a great job at moisturizing, though.

DermaDoctor Brazillian Bombshell Body Lotion: This was probably my favorite sample of a body lotion. Very thick and moisturizing and lasted a long time. No scent. Left my skin with this glowy sheen - like a highlight for your body (not glitter - this is not stripper lotion). Maybe that's the skin perfecting element? Whatever. It's awesome.

Figs & Rouge Hand Cream: This was a sample I got in my very first Ipsy bag (back in October of 2014). Obviously I don't use the stuff regularly. I really liked it though. Kind of thin but did a decent job. The scent is Roseberry and that's exactly what it smells like - like a raspberry and a rose bush (heh) had a baby.

 

Gee, Your Hair Smells Terrific

Total Repair 5 Deep Conditioner: Did not like this crap. My hair was so greasy and weighed down. Terrible. Looking at the packaging, it seems it's the same stuff as the bottle but believe me, it isn't.

Total Repair 5 Conditioner: This stuff is all right. When I still had a lot of dry and damaged hair from bleaching, this and the shampoo seemed to help smooth it out. Just waiting to use up the shampoo to start another brand.

Batiste Dry Shampoo (Blush): I love this brand though the scents can be overwhelming. Blush is definitely better than the cherry scent. I've recently purchase the Original and Fresh scent so we'll see how those go. But the formula cannot be denied. Best one I've tried. I haven't lied. I seriously died. Check out my ride...okay, I'll stop.

Marc Antony Argan Oil Hairspray: I think this is my second can. I LOVE LOVE LOVE this stuff. Smells fantastic! It's a soft hold so my hair doesn't feel crunchy or stiff. If you're looking for super hold stuff, this is probably not the hairspray for you. Otherwise, you need to get this immediately.

 

*giant powderpuff to the face* (aka Make Up)

Benefit Eye Primer: Meh. The first time I used it, my eye shadow totally faded in a few hours. The second time I put powder over it before the shadow and then it worked a little better. But I'm glad I just had a sample so I don't have to fuck with it again. 

Benefit Roller Lash Mascara: I did like this mascara (keep in mind I had the sample size). It's supposed to hold a curl really well but I don't need to curl my lashes. They naturally curl up a little bit so most mascaras work like this one did on me. Maybe this curled them just a smidge more.

Neutrogena Healthy Lengths Mascara: I like the formula on this. My lashes looked very natural and it gave just a touch of volume. It layered pretty well with other mascaras, too. But the tube dried out really fast which was disappointing. I think I accidentally bought this twice so we'll see if that tube lasts a little longer.

RiRe Lash Essence: Got this is a 3B box. It's supposed to help thicken or grow your lashes. Yeah...not so much. It was just like putting some kind of clear gel on my lashes that ended up stuck together when I woke up in the morning.

Essence Lash Princess Mascara: I adore this mascara! It's great at giving my lashes volume and the natural bristle brush separates my lashes so well. This was at least my 2nd tube. And it's inexpensive! And how can you not love that packaging?

 

Randomness

Zicam Nasal Swabs: When it comes to cold medicines or remedies, Zicam is at the top of my list. There are lozenges, melts, chewables, and these swabs. Some people protested the swabs years ago because it affected their sense of smell - but I think that's because they didn't follow the directions that say DON'T SHOVE THIS ALL THE WAY UP YOUR NOSE. The oral stuff affects my taste and upsets my stomach so the swabs are perfect. 

Bath and Body Works Foaming Hand Soap: First scent was from the Halloween line - Purrfect Potion. It was supposed to smell like pumpkin and cinnamon but all I got was sugary sweet. The Sea Island Cotton scent, though, was great. Smelled very fresh and clean. Will definitely repurchase! (the Halloween scents are no longer available but their Christmas stuff is on sale plus they have a ton of other scents available in their regular line)

Sensodyne Extra Whitening Toothpaste: I believe in my last MD I said I wanted to try the extra whitening because the gentle whitening sucked. Yeah, this stuff works so much better. Already repurchased. It's also great for any kind of regular sensitivity you might have. It doesn't do much for the exposed nerve on my #29 tooth but nothing short of a composite filling would.

 

That wasn't too terribly long, was it? I think I prefer doing one longer post every two months instead of breaking it up into multiple posts once a quarter. Hopefully you'll like reading it that way, too. Feel free to post your thoughts!

PDs, GFYs, and MEHs - September 2015 Edition

Well, August kind of got away from me so I'll be combining it with September for this list of Panty Droppers, Go Fuck Yourselves, and Mehs. 

First, let's get to the good stuff. (I didn't take pics of everything in each category - just the stuff that was close at hand!)

For my beauty PD products, I've got these three pictured above. Almay Smart Shade CC cream, the Rimmel Fix & Perfect face primer, and the Neutrogena Hydro gel. I love the CC cream because it's a nice shade match for me and it's not heavy or full coverage (which I prefer). I do feel like my natural oiliness comes through but I don't look greasy, does that make sense? The Rimmel primer is awesome. It looks and feels like a light lotion but it really sinks into the skin and it doesn't feel like I'm wearing anything (on my face, pervs). The Hydro gel was a sample and it smelled awesome! It worked really well, too, so I'm hoping when I get the full size, it won't disappoint me like the Hada Labo gel did.

For food, I've got two things for you:

Annie's Cheddar Bunnies and Animal Crackers. I've only tried the snack products from this company. The extra cheesy cheddar bunnies are better than the regular and the animal crackers are wonderful. They kind of taste like the original animal crackers we all grew up on (us old people, anyway) but they are much more dense. I believe all of their products are natural, possibly organic (don't quote me) and their business practices aim for social responsibility. I've found these at Target, Meijers, and Value Center. You've got to try some! www.annies.com

Oreo Pumpkin Spice: I know, I know. Everything is turning up pumpkin spice right now because Fall. I, personally, am not a freak about it. I don't run out and get anything and everything in this scent or flavor (most pumpkin candles make me barf and I don't need my coffee to taste like a gourd). HOWEVER, Oreos are some of my favorite cookies and when I saw these, I had to try them. I believe they came out last year but the are limited edition each fall. AND THEY ARE AMAZEBALLS! If you like pumpkin pie, you'll like these.

The last thing is not a product but a technique. I'm probably the last one to jump on this bandwagon but from watching Emily Noel on YouTube (emilynoel83), I discovered how awesome it is to apply cream blush with a stippling brush. It makes it so much easier to blend out the product that you just can't get with your fingers. Who knew? (everyone besides me, I'm sure)

 

Now for the Go Fuck Yourselves:

Beauty and Hair was all about the uselessness these past months. For hair: the Not Your Mother's Dry Shampoo (good thing because I hate to think your mom sucks ass) and the Ulta brand Smooth and Protect shampoo/conditioner. I've tried multiple brands of dry shampoo. I love Batiste but the smell can be cloying so I wanted to see if I could find something just as good. Nooooope. NYM's dry shampoo was completely useless, unless I sprayed on half a can which mostly went straight to my lungs. The Ulta shampoo and conditioner did nothing to smooth or protect my hair. It dried it out even more and if I were transformed into a muppet, I'd be the frizz monster who lives with the dust bunnies and spare change under your couch.

The makeup that seriously disappointed me was the Catrice liquid eyeliner and Colour Pop's ultra matte liquid lipstick. I wanted to try the Catrice brand because Keerstin on YouTube (ItsKeerstin) talked about it a lot. Before Ulta brought it into their stores/on-line, you could only get in Europe. So I was excited to try a few things once they got stateside. This eyeliner was terrible. It took forever to dry and even if I DIDN'T open my eyes, or move or breathe in any way, it still smudged. Which is interesting because when I tried to take it off, it was near impossible! What the fuck, Catrice?

The ColourPop matte liquid lipsticks make me mad. I love the brand (I have several lippie stix, blushes, and highlighters that I love) so when these mattes came out, I was super excited. Now I just want to punch someone. The colors are nice but the formula is so drying as to be painful. They set within seconds so don't fuck up. And if it looks patchy, too fucking bad because if you put on a second layer, it clumps together or just wipes off the original application. Then when you WANT to take them off, you basically need a jackhammer and some napalm. They. Are. Awful. I want to apologize to my friend, MontiLee, for giving her the pink color I ordered (it didn't look right on me but I thought she might enjoy it). I'm so so so sorry.

 

And finally, the MEHs.

I think most of my Meh's work well for other people but just not for me. Which is why they are just okay.

Three primers I tried: Benefit's Porefessional; Smashbox Photo Finish; and Catrice Prime & Fine. I'm pretty sure the Porefessional and Prime & Fine broke me out (gods dammit, Catrice!). The Smashbox is a silicone primer and with my oily skin, it doesn't work. It also balls up when I put the Almay CC over it so...no.

The Maybelline Lash sensational mascara (in the pink tube) was just so wet and gloppy. Most people say to just give it time to dry out a bit, but mine never got there. I'll work with shadows and maybe blushes but not mascara. That's one thing that needs to work as is straight out of the tube.

I also got a body wash from Bath & Body Works in a Honey Lavender scent. It's a good shower gel but the scent leaves a lot to be desired. I don't get much lavender from it and the honey smells weird. I've only got a little bit left so once that's done I'm getting back to my Jasmine Vanilla!!

That's it for this edition. Hopefully I'll get back to monthly reviews on this stuff! But let's not count on that just yet. Busy season at the hubby's store is in full swing and I help out when he needs me. I may not be back until November...