The Monkey Is In.

So be prepared. Bring a banana.

I'm a writer of horror and dark fiction. I've been doing this since 1999 and believe me when I say, it's cheaper than therapy and safer for the world at large.

Filtering by Tag: Benton

Morgue Drawer March 2018

Welcome to my trash! This is a post dedicated to all the products I've used up over the past few months so I'm pretty sure I know how they perform, smell, feel, taste, and wear on my personage. (AGAIN - these are reviews of how these products work for MY body). I'll provide links to all, assuming I can find them, so you can check them out for yourselves.

 

BEAT THAT MUG

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Essence Lash Princess Volume Mascara: Love this mascara, though this tube seemed drier than past tubes I've used. Could be I had it in my drawer too long!

Lunatcik Costmetic Labs lipsticks: I love the color on these but the bullets are so dry and sticky now, I can't even swatch them let alone use them on my lips. *sad trombone* Mine were the old packaging, apparently, so looks like you have to get the gold packaging now.

NYX Dewy Finishing Spray: I love this and it has replaced the ELF one I used to use.

Essence Eyeliner brush: I absolutely love this for gel liners. I imagine if I had a liquid one where the wand or brush went wonky, this would work great for that, too. And it's $2!

 

LIKE BUTTAH

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Bath & Body Works Body Cream (Jasmine & Vanilla): I know B&BW sells in China but I still haven't found anything to replace this scent, one of the best I've ever found in my life in a body product. The whole Sensual line is this combo of jasmine and vanilla and is pure heaven. This body cream is excellent. AND FUCK MY LIFE I CAN'T FIND IT ON THE SITE ANYMORE.

Simply Creative Living lip balm (peppermint): This was okay. I got it at the Clawson Farmer's Market, I think, from a local vendor. The quote on there also has a spelling mistake.

PurplecatCreatives Apothecary Body Butters: This is a seller on Etsy. I bought a 6-pack of minis to try out. These are super thick and hard to spread on the skin. BUT they're perfect for your feet. The Dragon Butter scent (dragons blood) was a little too heavy. The Candlelight scent (which I can't remember and there's no description - it's seasonal) was nice but a little perfumy. I'm using Lemon Chiffon now which is heavenly. 

Skin & Co Umbrian Truffle hand cream: Decent hand cream. Smells like coconut.

 

(MOSTLY) CLEAN AND SHINY

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Marc Anthony Nourishing Argan Oil shampoo/conditioner: This stuff worked really well. The shampoos that say they're 'color safe' are useless. Find yourself a good moisturizing one and that will work much better. This line is really good - scent it nice, my color didn't fade too quickly, and my hair felt wonderful.

Hask Charcoal Purifying Dry Shampoo: I liked this one because it didn't leave a lot of white residue that most dry shampoos do. Smells good, too. Not the best dry shampoo I've used but decent!

MY SKIN WOULD MAKE A GREAT LAMP SHADE

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Mario Badescu Facial Spray with rose water: I love this stuff so much. I'm still working on a giant bottle I got off HauteLook. I recently got the lavender one, too, and it's great to use before bed.

Formula 10.0.6 Day/Night Creams: I love these. The day has SPF15, which I know isn't a lot but it works fine. Nice cream and doesn't make me feel greasy. The night cream is great, too. It makes a great seal over my serum and oils.

Benton Honest Cleansing foam: This was a nice gentle cleanser. It was nice to take traveling, too.

The Ordinary Buffet serum: Love it. Works great. Will continue to buy!

 

DEBRIS (AKA RANDOM ASSORTMENT)

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Seventh Generation Free & Clear Wipes: I wanted to find some wipes to replace the small packs of makeup wipes I've used over the years. I don't use them on my face - mostly just for cleaning swatches. So why not baby wipes? These were pretty good. If I did need to take something off my face (a mistake perhaps?) these did sting a bit and left some lint behind. But for general swatches they were fine. Trying something different now, though.

ACT Restoring Mouthwash (cool mint): Since I've started Invisalign (last August), I worry about my teeth being covered up all the time and trapped food, etc. So in addition to more brushing and flossing, I use this mouthwash. I love ACT. This and the green flavor (mint - my preferred) do NOT sting at all.

Mitchum Dry spray deodorant: I discovered this brand when Secret stopped worked for me. And I really like the gel so I thought I'd give this a try. WAAAAY to heavy on the scent but the product works well. I'm back to the gel, though.

Tom's of Main toothpaste: I wanted to see if their non-fluoride sensitive toothpaste works as well as the maximum sensitive fluoride one. It does not. Plus I like having fluoride in my oral care as much as possible because I am cavity prone. But I can only find it at The Vitamin Shoppe - which is fine. I have a membership there!

Hello Sensitivity Relief toothpaste: Meh. Not a foaming paste, which is fine, but felt like I wasn't actually brushing with any product. Didn't help with sensitivity that much, either. The taste was bleh. But the worst part was trying to open the flip cap. I struggled a lot with it so will not be going back.

PDs, MEHs, and GFYs May 2016

For you newbs, here's a quick explanation of this series of posts. Most YouTubers or Bloggers do something like Monthly Favorites or Hits and Misses every month. As I don't use up or go through stuff all that quickly, my post will show up every couple of months. So here you will find the products that are Pantry Droppers (the good), Meh (the average), and Go Fuck Yourselves (the shitty).

Below find the latest for May of 2016. (Again - I don't know the cruelty free status of most of the Korean brands. If I do, I will note it.)

 

PDs

Shara Shara Banana Honey Lotion: Sweet baby Jeebus this lotion is phenomenal. I got it in a Meme box years ago and it took a long time to get through it all. Smells just like banana cream pie (if you're into that sort of thing...which I am) and it made my skin so soft. It's in new packaging now but Amazon has it!

Nourish Organic Body Oil Mist: As this is a sample, it's not a mist format so it's a little messier to deal with but it's awesome. It doesn't smell like roses - more like just the rose hips, which is a little grassier than floral. Not a strong scent so that's fine with me. Loved using this after the shower. Will have to buy the full size. NO is cruelty free.

Promise Organic Argan Creme Face Lotion: I just talked about this in my Morgue Drawer but it needs to be discussed again, it's that nice. Non-greasy, fast absorbing, smells like oranges. Because it doesn't have SPF I used it as a night cream. As soon as I get through the stuff I have now, I'm buying more of this. PO is cruelty free.

Milani Moisture Lock Lip Treatment: I have the Rose scented one and I love it. It has a soft pink color in the tube but it's just clear oil/gloss on the lips. This is so moisturizing and lasts a  surprisingly long time on the lips. Most oils would wear off relatively fast but this likes to hang around for a while. I want to try all the other scents/flavors, too. Milani is cruelty free.

Dermal Sea Cucumber Supreme Mask: This really made my skin feel hydrated after using it. Probably because it's so saturated with essence that it was dripping all over me until I blotted it with a towel!

Leaders Black Aqua Pore Scaling mask: This was amazing! It tingled a bit when I wore it but not in a burning kind of way. The material was thick and super soft. My skin felt better after using it (it's for dry skin so I guess it's got extra moisturizers or something). See below for an amusing visual.

3W Fresh Syn-ake mask: Very nice and moisturizing but again, the 3W mask holes do not fit my face.

Mehron Paint Palette: I got this for a specific cosplay at Motor City Comic Con but it will be great for any other face/body painting I need to do. I practiced my make up several times before the actual costume day and I barely made a dent in these paints! They're water activated and once they dry, they really don't budge - unless you sweat or get spit upon or the natural oils of your skin start to break it down over time. I need to invest in some sealant!

Glamtech empty palette: I found this place on Etsy. I had a few single shadows/highlighters that had no home (along with a bunch of singles I depotted to clear up the clutter in my drawers....ewww...). This store will customize a palette for you! No more boring plain black or lame ass chevron patterns for you! You can choose from a bunch of different colors and designs. The top is held on by very strong magnets and they don't let go. I store mine upright in a desk letter organizer. I have since purchased another so I have this red bats one and a purple skeleton cameo palette. Awesome!

 

MEHs

Derma e Hydrating Night Creme: I used to love this stuff. But for some reason it decided it wanted to break up and it's moisturizing capabilities have left me high and dry (or at least dry). I can't even finish this jar because it feels like it's sucking the life out of my skin.

Essence Gel eyeliner: I used to really love this stuff, too. And when I first open the jar, it IS fantastic. But within a few weeks the gel starts to dry out. It gets harder and harder (that's what she said) to work with and crumbles all over the place. Maybe if I used it every day I'd get through it before it goes all Sahara.

Skinfood Mascara: It says setting mascara but the card from the 3B box this came in said it's used just like a regular mascara. It does makes my lashes look beautiful and long but it smudges all under my eyes by the end of the day. Maybe it doesn't do that on people whose eyelids are insured by Exxon.

 

GFYs

Simple Micellar make-up wipes: Pretty much exactly like their liquid format - useless and burny. Does not get off all makeup and hurt like fuck around the eyes. Simple is not cruelty free.

3W Clinic Collagen Serum: I tried to use this for about 2 weeks. I know skin can go into rebel mode when introduced to new things but even after an adjustment period, it kept breaking me out. Ugh.

Benton Snail Bee Steam Cream: Sticky, smelly face cream did absolutely nothing for me. Except give me big zits. So apparently Team Bee Snail is a shitty idea.

Secret Key toner: This felt like straight alcohol on my skin. Very drying and, naturally, irritated and broke out my skin. 

Maybelline Color Tattoo cream eye shadow: Completely useless. I thought it worked as a decent base but I thought wrong. It also dried up really fast. Maybelline is not cruelty free. Ass hats.

L'Oreal Revitalift Miracle Blur: I think this was a face primer but it didn't blur anything, felt greasy, and then balled up when I put foundation on over it. What the hell? L'Oreal isn't cruelty free anyway so no big loss there.

Palladio Flat brush: Not sure exactly when I bought this but I was a fucking idiot at the time and even more of a fucking idiot for keeping it this long. It's rough and prickly as fuck, like using a cactus to put on my eye makeup. Palladio is not cruelty free which is pretty obvious from this brush - if they don't give a rat's ass about the comfort of their customers, they sure as shit don't give a flying fuck about animals.

Okay that'll do it for now. Come back in a couple months to see what else had made me drop my drawers, shrug non-committally, or pissed me off so bad I had to go beat up a random hobo.

3B April 2016 Review

I'm still on the fence about whether or not I want to keep this subscription. Over a week ago I stared using one of the products I got a few months back and my skin started breaking out. Ugh. Even without the cruelty free issues, I'm not sure the 50/50 odds I'm getting on the skin care  is enough to keep this.

For those who may not know, 3B is a monthly subscription service that provides 4-5 sample sized (sometimes full) Asian beauty products. If you'd like to check them out, go here: 3B

Botanic Farm Mask: I so love sheet masks. Rice is supposed to help purify skin and is good for sensitive skin. So that's cool. Since I'm doing body/face paint for a convention in a couple days, I'll use this afterwards to see if it helps my face recover! Full size value of $2.

Lador Sleeping Clinic Ampoule: This is one of those hair treatments that's supposed to help severely damaged hair. As I don't bleach or color my hair right now, I'm not sure how much it will help. Maybe I'll gift it to someone. This is full size and runs $5 (or $3 on sale at MemeBox)

Benton Honest Cleansing Foam: Again, I'm a little leery of this because the last skin care product broke me out - and I believe this brand also broke me out. But it's usually the creams or serums that do it so hopefully this cleanser won't screw me over. This little sample is maybe worth $1. Full size is $10.

Too Cool for School Egg Mellow Cream: I did try one of the packets already. Nice thick cream and felt really good. I don't know if longer use will break me out but after the first trial, I'm hopeful it'll be fine. Not sure how much came in each little packet but there are 7 of them so you could use them once a day for a week to get an idea of how your skin likes it. Full size, 50g, is about $24.

It's Skin Babyface Eyeshadow: If my research is right, this company IS cruelty free. I have a face power I've been using for a long time that is awesome. So I'm excited for this shadow. And look at that color! These little pans will cost you around $5.

If I give a $3 value to the little packets of face cream, which is probably pretty generous, this month's bag value is about $16. That's kinda skimpy and a little disappointing but it's the first time the value of the bag has been so low. If it happens again, I might get off the 'considering' fence and migrate into full on cancellation land. We'll see...

3B February Beauty Box

At this point, I may have confused myself on which month exactly this recent bag came. I know I missed a review, or at least thought I did. Hopefully by the next month, I'll have this figured out. So for now, let's just pretend this is the March 3B bag!

For those who may not know, 3B is a beauty subscription service. For $12 a month you get 4-5 sample/full size beauty products from Asia (mostly Korea and Japan right now). If you'd like to check them out, head over to: the3bbox.com

(I purchase this with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones)

Lioele Eyelash Curler: Well, if I curled my lashes ever, this would be an awesome product. It even comes with replacement cushions. How cool is that? But this will have to be regifted. My lashes are already a little curled up so I don't need to squish them any further. Up for grabs! Just let me know. $3.50 value.

Benton Snail Bee High Content Steam Cream: I'm not sure if this is supposed to be used in conjunction with steam or just like a daily moisturizer. But I'm willing to give it a shot! Claims: "Snacil mucin supports natural cell regeneration and replenishes moisture to increase firmness, and bee venom has natural anti-inflammatory, anti-bacterial, and anti-viral properties. The gel-like essence is also fragrance free! Best recommended for those with sensitive and troubled skin."  50g goes for $12.00 so this 5g tube is about $1.

Leaders Black Aqua Pore Scaling Mask: I love me a good face mask. This one looks like it's got some cleansing and purifying elements to it so I'm excited to try it out. Pore minimizers don't always work but I'm forever hopeful. This is full sized and goes for $22. Whoa.

Etude House Look At My Eyes Cafe Eye Shadow: Isn't that a pretty gold color? Though I'm getting a little sick of the bronze/gold colors that every bag seems to include, this give a nice soft wash of color for those 'no make up' make up days and it can be built up to look brighter. I've already used it a couple of times and I really like it. Depending on what site you go to, this can retail from $3 - $8.

Not that thrilled with the value of this bag but still, paying $12 and getting a little more than double that in products ain't all bad!