The Monkey Is In.

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I'm a writer of horror and dark fiction. I've been doing this since 1999 and believe me when I say, it's cheaper than therapy and safer for the world at large.

Filtering by Tag: face mask

Morgue Drawer June 2019

Thankfully I started organizing this post long before my trash overflowed into the house! So here are my empties for the past three months.

Debris

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Bath and Body Works Sensual Jasmine Vanilla Body Wash: Well, the time has finally come. I used up the last bottle I’ll ever have of this scent. BBW still makes body wash, but not in this scent anymore. So sad…

The Potion Cabinet Body Wash in Cyanide: It didn’t smell as much like almonds as I would have liked, and it didn’t foam up as much as the last one I tried from them. But I still enjoyed it, and am trying another scent now.

RenPure Coconut Cream Nourishing Conditioner: I’m still working through the shampoo of this scent but I really enjoyed both. It smells more like a mix of coconut and fruit - not too strong on either; my hair felt great and it didn’t fade the color too quickly. I originally got mine at Target but I can’t find it there now (but there are other formulas/scents). So the link is to the RenPure website.

Love Beauty and Planet Hair Masque with Rose and Murumuru Butter: Really liked this stuff. Hair felt fantastic. But the scent is really strong, almost too much.

Mitchum Women’s Solid Deodorant: I really like this brand. I’m not a super sweater so this works great for me. The Pure Fresh scent has been my favorite so far - a soft floral.

Avalon Organics Lip Balm in Cherry Aloe - meh. Feels nice at first but eventually my lips feel drier for using it. Um, what?

My Skin Would Make a Great Lampshade

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Formula 10.0.6 Day/Night Cream: I’ve been using these both for a while and I still love them. The only downside is the printing on the night cream tub. It comes off easily if your hands are wet or oily so if you’re not careful, you might smudge purple on your face! It doesn’t stain, though, so no worries there.

Pacifica Rose Flower Hydro Mist: This was just okay. The mister is way too fine so it feels like you have to pump the bottle 100 times to get anything to cover your face. Heyyyoooohhh…. It also doesn’t feel like anything special or revolutionary so I went back to Mario Badescu. Smell is really nice, though.

Elf Daily Face Cleanser: This was just fine. Nothing great, nothing bad. The smell is a bit too strong, though.

Body Shop Tea Tree Face Wash: Love this stuff. I keep repurchasing the big bottle and filling up my travel one when I go out of town for conventions.

FaceStory Vitalift Firming Mask with Pomegranate: Not sure how this did on the firming aspect, but otherwise I loved it. The mask is super soft; the essence is almost milky (which is my favorite); and my skin felt great the next day. I have a subscription to this company and it’s awesome.

Innsfree Volcanic Pore Clay Mask: I loved this stuff. Clay/mud masks work very well on my skin, particularly if I’m having some breakouts or general ickiness. This stuff has a little bit of exfoliant particles but nothing harsh. The only bad thing is that it got too dried out to use after I’d only gotten through half the jar. *sad trombone*

Beat That Mug

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Babyganics Wipes: I get these at my local Value Center grocery store. I love using them to clean off swatches or fallout under my eyes. I don’t use them for regular makeup removal - all wipes burn my skin.

Heimish All Clean Balm: I love cleansing balms and when I first tried a sample of this years ago, I fell in love. Once I got this bigger size, though, I noticed it really bothers my eyes. Not while I’m using it - the next morning, my eyes will be crusty and/or goopy. Blech. Trying the Physicians Formula one now.

Elf Prime & Stay Finishing Powder (Fair/Light): This is some of the best face powder I’ve ever used. Either alone or over foundation, it makes my skin look so smooth and, well, finished. And it’s $2. LOVE.

2B CC Cream in Nude: I love how this stuff looks on my skin but this tube is hella old and it’s gotta go. Plus, I’m pretty sure they don’t make it anymore as I can’t find it anywhere - at least, not in the US.

That’s all my garbage for now. Hope you enjoyed it!

Ipsy March 2018 Review

For those who don't know, Ipsy is a monthly subscription service. For $10, you get 4-5 sample sized (sometimes full sized) makeup, hair, and skin care products, as well as a reusable makeup bag. Check them out here: IPSY

(I purchase this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones)

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March's theme has something to do with creating. Whatever. I don't particularly like the bag but I do enjoy being able to color it in. That's kinda cool. But let's get to the products!

Labotica Transforming Liquid Foil Mask: While this stuff looks super cool (like you're mutating into the Silver Surfer), the description of "gentle" and "great for sensitive skin" can SUCK MY BALLS. This stuff bonded to my face like the Man in the Iron Mask. It was not gentle to remove, my skin was irritated as fuck, and I broke out in a couple places across my chin. It's made by Leaders Cosmetics, a Korean brand, and it's on the "Pending List" over at Logical Harmony (which means they've reached out to the company about their cruelty free status but haven't heard back yet). Full size is $32 so this sample should be valued around $6.50. (CF - UNKNOWN)

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VenEffect Pore Minimizing Cleanser: This company's products fight hormonal aging (that lack of estrogen we produce as we get older contributes to signs of aging). I enjoyed this face wash. Smelled like a spa but not overpowering. Gentle and my face felt really nice afterward. It'll be a nice travel product. Full size (150 mls) is $60 (yikes) so this 15mls sample should go for $6.00. (CF? - can't find any info)

Hikari Cream Pigment Eye Shadow in Shine: I wish I could have gotten the green color instead of gold but wutyougonnado? Very pigmented, soft eye shadow and it looks great on the eye. Not sure I want to keep it because I have a couple gold shadows already and it's not a color I use a lot. I can't find the exact amount but most shadows are around 2g so I'll assume this is full sized and worth $13. (CF)

Tarte Cosmetics Sex Kitten Eyeliner: I think I've only ever tried one Tarte eyeliner before and it wasn't great (which might explain why it was on clearance when I bought it). But this stuff is pretty bomb. Though it doesn't break through the Hikari eye shadow (not sure if you can see but it goes green on the eye over the shadow), I put it on my waterline & tightline after I took the picture and that shit didn't budge. Well, some of it did, which is to be expected, but most of it stayed in place. In fact, it took about 2 days for it to completely wash off my eye. This might be my go-to eyeliner for convention makeup I need to last at least 10 hours. Full size is $20 so this sample is worth $10. (CF)

Steve Laurant Beauty Lip Oil in Orchid: It looks pink but this is a clear oil. It feels thicker, like a gloss/oil hybrid. Sort of like what Milani did a few years back. This stuff feels nice, it's not sticky, and it smells like vanilla butter cake. NOM. This is full size and goes for $18. (CF)

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Wow, looks like this bag is worth about $53.50. Pretty good deal though I'm disappointed that two of the products are not cruelty free/unknown CF status. I can usually forgive one but...to be honest, I'm thinking of phasing out of this subscription and trying something else. We'll see.

My Face Story Mask Subscription Service Review

Yes, it's another subscription service. I've actually had this since July 2017 but I didn't want to review it until I'd used it at least 6 months. I love using sheet masks so I thought it would be a good service to try out.

CAVEAT: Though I know Korea is working on becoming completely Cruelty Free in 2018, I can't guarantee any of the products I receive in this service are CF. I don't know if any of the brands sell in China or are part of the few companies that do still test on animals in Korea.

**I pay for this service myself; this post is not sponsored in any way**

Facetory is a Korean sheet mask service. They have two sizes: Four-Ever Fresh which sends 4 masks per month (obvi) for $5.95 plus $2.95 in shipping, and the Seven Lux which includes 7 masks (again, obvi) for $15.95 plus $3.95 in shipping. I opted for the smaller one since I wasn't sure I could go through 7 masks per month. Sometimes I don't get through 4 so the smaller box was for me (that's what he said...ugh, sorry...)

I'm not necessarily reviewing the products in this post, just the service. Though I have to say I've absolutely LOVED at least one mask each month. At the very least, I've enjoyed them all except maybe one or two.

Each month the masks arrive in this sealed envelope. It includes an information card about the benefits and usage of each mask (which I GREATLY appreciate - I keep those cards then mark the masks I like best for future purchasing). There's also some kind of happy or inspirational card. Since this month is for February, we all got Valentines. So friggin' cute. I personally hope the animal mask actually DOES look like a sheep!

It seems most of the masks can be used on any skin type, though they usually have some targeted purpose (pore minimizing, anti-aging, moisturizing, soothing, brightening, etc.). But even if you're not looking to reduce pores, the mask will still have other skin care benefits.

They have a rewards program where you can earn points a bunch of different ways (buying stuff on the site, referring a friend, reviewing products, following them on IG or FB, etc.). Even the monthly renewal earns you about 11 points each time. It's like you barely have to try! Then those points translate into dollar amounts (ie, 200 points = $2 off a purchase).

As a subscriber, they sent me a referral link I can share where I earn 500 points if anyone uses it to join. You can get up to 4 free masks on your first subscription order and I get points (POINT WHORE!!). So if you'd be interested in checking them out, the link is below!

INVITE A FRIEND

Again, I don't plan to review this every month because I just don't get to the masks fast enough. But if you like sheet masks or K-Beauty products, then check out Face Story for yourself. It's pretty fun!

Ipsy September 2017 Review

Interested in trying out different beauty products? Then maybe you should check out Ipsy, a monthly makeup, hair, and skin care subscription service. For $10, you'll receive 4-5 sample (sometimes full) sized products to try. Check them out here: IPSY

I pay for this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones.

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This month's theme is "Like A Boss". I guess it's about empowerment or some shit. What the ever loving fuck, Ipsy? At least you didn't include that giant ass catalog telling us about Ipsy Cash again.

re:p Bio Fresh Mask: A collab with Soko Glam (a South Korean beauty and skin care company), this mask is supposed to be great for those with sensitive skin. I haven't opened it because I have a bunch of others to get through but I'm excited. My skin isn't super sensitive but it can get bitchy so I do enjoy trying these kinds of products. This 20 ml sample probably goes for around $10. (CF)

M.A.C. Strobe Cream in PinkLight: I've neither used nor purchased a MAC product before. Way too expensive and now that I'm paying attention, not cruelty free, so I will never purchase their stuff. I only swatched this to show you what it looks like in case you'd like to purchase it. Top pic is before the cream is full absorbed. Looks kinda like a white cream. But once you work it in, it give the skin a soft beautiful glow. Travel size is $12 so this 6 ml sample is about $2.40 (NCF)

Hanalei Papaya Enzyme Powder Cleanser: I've seen this kind of product popping up here and there and it is intriguing. I haven't used it yet because honestly I'm a little nervous that it'll be too harsh. I guess there's only one way to find out! Full size includes 14 packets so this 5 packet sample goes for about $1.40. (CF)

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Pacifica Coconut Blush Duo (Beaming and Tenderheart): Beautiful natural shades. The swatch in the middle is a combination of both. I think they all look beautiful (on my skin tone at least). This product isn't on the Pacifica website so I had to do some maths to figure out a value. Their matte face powder is 8g for $17. This blush duo is 14g so I figure it's worth around $30. (CF)

Luxie Rose Gold Medium Angled Shading Eye Brush 207: I'm never mad at getting brushes. And I've received Luxie ones before. They are super soft and work great. I've never had a problem with them shedding or the ferrules breaking or popping loose. Very nice brushes and not expensive either. Full size and goes for $12 (CF)

Except for the MAC cream, everything in here was cruelty free this month. Hooray! And the value was around $56, give or take a few dollars. Not bad at all.

Ipsy May 2017 Review

For those who may not know, Ipsy is a monthly beauty subscription. For $10 a month, you receive 4-5 sample (sometimes full sized) makeup, skin, and hair products. Check them out for yourself here: IPSY

(I pay for this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones)

The theme for this month is USELESS. And if you can believe it, the card is even smaller than last time and has even LESS information on it. What. The hell.

I have to admit, though, I kinda like the bag. It's a clear thick plastic that will probably be decent at holding liquids while traveling (NOTE: I've used this a couple of times now and yes, it's good so far). And who doesn't like ice cream? COMMIES, THAT'S WHO.

The little bottle of lotion was an extra I got for cashing in some points. My profile said the points would expire in February so I wanted to hurry up and use them before they disappeared. Soon after I redeemed this little baby, the pop up info told me that the remaining points actually don't expire until 2018. Son of a bitch. The lotion is...okay. Scent is a bit overpowering.

Okay. Now for the actual monthly products:

Global Beauty Care Charcoal Wash Off Mask - stung a little but sometimes that happens with a new mask. I love the twisty top that allows me to seal it back up so the rest of the product doesn't dry out! I can't find a lot of info on them so I'm not sure if they're CF. But I think this is full sized and goes for $5.

Pacifica Beauty Island Life Eye Shadow - I've received a few makeup items from this brand before. I really have enjoyed past eye shadows and these are just as gorgeous. Pretty pigmented but VERY soft so be careful when you want to finger (swatch) them. This palette is exclusive to Ipsy so I have no idea how much it's worth. (CF)

Royal & Langnickel Precision Angled Brush - I've heard a lot about this brand floating around the internets so I was excited to get one in my bag. But...I don't know what to do with it. I don't contour; it's too big for eyes; it's too small for blush. So, yeah. Again, can't find this exact brush on their site so I don't know the cost. But it's vegan so that makes it CF.

Manna Kadar Radiance Split Pan Highlighter/Bronzer Duo - While the sample is a little small to work with, the colors are beautiful. The bronzer will be a better eye shadow on me and the highlight is pretty. Again, can't find any damn info on sizes/amounts but I know it's not full  size (which is $21). It is CF though!

Mellow Cosmetics Creamy Matte Lipstick in Posh: I've never heard of this brand before so I'm glad I get to try something new! This lipstick is awesome. Gorgeous color that is more neutral/cool than warm, goes on smooth, and lasts quite a while without being drying. It's my favorite product this month! Mostly because I'm a lipstick whore. Full size and it's $13 (CF).

Well, I don't really have a value for the bag this month because there just isn't any info out there about some of the items. But I'm pretty sure it's over $10. Though I need to use the mask a few more times to be sure about whether or not it'll fry my face, I'm pretty happy with the rest of the items (even if I can't figure out price points).