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I'm a writer of horror and dark fiction. I've been doing this since 1999 and believe me when I say, it's cheaper than therapy and safer for the world at large.

Filtering by Tag: Cake Beauty

Morgue Drawer April 2020

Who wants to trash talk? And by that I mean talk about my garbage, not bad mouth and gossip about bullshit and politics.

For the newbs, this is the post where I talk about all the products I’ve used up over the past few months. AKA empties. Let’s take a look!

BEAT THAT MUG

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Colourpop Super Shock Shadow in Puppy Love: This was a limited edition shade for a fundraiser CP had. It supported dog rescue efforts so OF COURSE I had to buy it. It was a lovely, soft peach shade. Great for a simple, one-color-all-over look. I had it for years but it’s finally dried out. *WAAAAAH*

NYX Pore Filler Face Primer: This is one of those cream colored primers that blur the appearance of pores. This does work pretty well, but it can look a little dry. I probably won’t get it again.

Catrice Multi-Talent Fixing Spray: I love this stuff. It works great at sealing in my makeup, and it gives my skin a gorgeous glow (think shiny but not greasy or metallic). They have a Dewy and Glow version but I don’t think that one gives any better effect than this one. Personal choice, I guess!

So many mascaras…

Covergirl Clump Crusher: I used to love this before I went cruelty free a few years ago. But now that CG is cruelty free (HOORAY!), I bought this again. Unfortunately, it’s not as good as I remember. Doesn’t give much length or volume. It does separate the lashes nicely, but it works better if you layer it with something else.

The Balm Mad Lash: Love love love this mascara! Great at lengthening and adding volume. I usually don’t buy it because it’s $18. But as of my typing this, there’s a flash sale of 50% at the site. WHOOP! I hope that doesn’t mean they’re discontinuing it and are getting rid of stock…

Buxom Volumizing Mascara: I think this is the volumizing one. There’s no indication on the sample tube but it looks like the one on the Buxom website. It was…okay. Better as a layering mascara.

Medusa’s Makeup Witch Lash: This is great stuff. Not for volume; okay for lengthening. But if you combine it with a mascara that transfers or smudges, the Witch Lash will stop it from doing that. I don’t know how - this is not the waterproof version. It’s MAGIC. (the link goes to the Twilight Blue color because I can’t find the black one - they may not make it anymore. SON OF A BI-)

Tarte Lights Camera Lashes: One of my favorite mascaras of all time. But I only buy it on sale because $23 for a tube of mascara is fucking nuts. But Ulta has it on sale a few times a year; sometimes Tarte will run a promotion.

MY SKIN WOULD MAKE A GREAT LAMPSHADE

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Mario Badescu Rose Facial Spray: Been using this for years. Still love it.

The Ordinary Niacinamide Zinc Serum: Niacinamide is the one ingredient that’s made a visible difference in my skin care routine. It’s supposed to minimize the appearance of pores and gods damn, it really does. I’ve used this one and the Fourth Ray Beauty one (Colourpop’s skin care line). Both are equally effective. I’ve heard some YouTubers say the 10% concentration is too low for more mature skin, but I call bullshit. I only started using this last year, when I was 49 (or maybe even after I turned 50) and it worked great for me. I switch between brands because my skin does acclimate after a while, but I’ve had no issues with either CP or The Ordinary.

The Ordinary HA Moisturizer: This was just an ordinary (no pun intended) moisturizer. Didn’t do anything special. Since there’s no SPF in, I used it at night. But either way, it wasn’t all that. I’ve learned that hyaluronic acid doesn’t really do anything for my skin.

Context Vitamin C Eye Cream: I think I got this in an Ipsy bag about 100 years ago. It’s a thin, gel-like cream. It’s fine but doesn’t really DO anything. Plus it’s old so it’s gotta go.

Formula 10.0.6 Day Cream: Been using this for years. Still love it.

ELF Gentle Peeling Gel: I technically haven’t used this up but the pump broke, so I just put the product in a squeeze tube. I love peeling gels. I don’t know why, but they are really nice gentle exfoliators. This one is nice.

Pacifica Cherry Lava Purify Mask: This was a decent mask. Smelled like cherries, so it was right up my alley. But it’s gotten old and the last time I used it, it broke me out. Oh well. (Pacifica no longer makes it so I can’t, in good conscience, link you to an Amazon store that sells it for almost $30, when Pacifica sold it for around $12-15).

Formula 10.0.6 Deep Down Detox Mud Mask: I adore this mask. Clay/mud mask products work very well on my skin. If I’ve got some stubborn breakouts, I use this and almost overnight, they’re gone or on their way out. Love the smell (orange), too. But it’s gotten old, just like the Pacifica one, and broke me out last time I used it. For some reason it’s labeled as PREORDER of the Formula 10.0.6 website so…not sure what that’s about.

Look At Me Watermelon Face Mask: It’s been a while since I used this but if I remember correctly, I loved this. It smells fantastic, and my skin felt great the next day. And no breakouts! (I got this and the charcoal one through MyFaceTory subscription and they now have a store front!)

Naisture Charcoal Face Mask: I loved the feel of the cotton mask itself - very soft. I don’t think the smell was anything to write home about but my skin loved it.

SQUEAKY CLEAN

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Babyganic Baby Wipes: I used to get these at my grocery store. But they don’t carry them anymore. You can find these at a bunch of other places, though, like CVS, Meijer, Target, Kroger, Walmart. They’re ERRWHERE.

The Potion Cabinet Shower Gel in Flesh Squeezed Virgin Blood (aka Black Cherry): I love the shower gels from this Etsy store. And this smelled like tart cherry candy, actually. But the scent doesn’t linger on the skin to compete with any other scented products you might use. The gel itself is great and makes my skin feel really soft. Highly recommend any scent of theirs (right now looks like this scent is out of stock).

Beauty of Joseon Cleansing Balm: I got this is my Daebak box and though it’s a sample, I got two uses out of it. The first time was great but the second, when I really worked it on my eye makeup, I woke up the next day with crusty itchy eyes. This is the 3rd or 4th balm that’s done that so I’m officially never using cleansing balms again. It does work at taking off makeup, though, so if you enjoy these kinds of products, I would recommend it!

The Body Shop Tea Tree Facial Wash: I love to use this as my cleanser at night. I enjoy the scent of tea tree oil, and it is rather strong in this product, so keep that in mind if you want to try it. It works great with my skin.

The Body Shop Aloe Calming Cream Cleanser: I use this in the morning. It’s a very gentle cream cleanser. It’s nothing too extraordinary but it gets the job done.

GEE, YOUR HAIR SMELLS TERRIFIC

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Hask Argan Oil Dry Shampoo: I’ve tried almost all of the Hask dry shampoos and I think this one is my favorite. Smells great, doesn’t create too much white cast in the hair (unless you go balls to the wall spraying it), good job at decreasing the look of oil in your hair. And OF COURSE it’s no longer sold at Hask or other retails. MOTHER FUC-

Raw Sugar Texture Dry Shampoo in Coconut and Maqui Berry scent: I have the Raw Boost cream that works wonders on my hair, keeping it smooth. So I wanted to try something else. This dry shampoo….doesn’t really do anything. Doesn’t really add that much texture, either. But it smells fantastic!

Giovanni 2Chic Blackberry and Coconut Oil Hair Oil Serum: I love this stuff. It’s a little harder to find in stores now, but you can still get it at the Giovanni website. This is like a cross between a gel and an oil, not too thin, not too thick. Great at controlling frizz, and smoothing out waves or curls. Smells amazeballs, too!

EvolvH Smart Volume Leave In Conditioner: I got this YEARS ago, maybe in a Petite Vour bag? Not sure, but I was nervous to use it because this kind of thing usually leaves my hair weighed down and looking greasy. In fact, I said that in the initial unboxing and the company actually replied on my post, guaranteeing the product wouldn’t do that. And I’ll be damned if they weren’t right. This was really nice for my hair. And now that I’ve been bleaching my hair for a while, I might look into purchasing a full bottle.

Raw Sugar Boost (not pictured): I grabbed a bottle of this at Meijer on a whim. This stuff is awesome! It keeps my hair frizz to a minimum; helps the waves/curls keep their shape as my hair dries, too. It’s so nice. Looks like it only comes in the small size, which is fine because mine lasted for months (to be fair - I only wash my hair 1-2x a week and only use this when my hair is still wet).

DEBRIS

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Tom’s of Main Rapid Relief Sensitive Toothpaste: My go to for toothpaste. I did actually go a week or two without using it, just to make sure it was actually working. Holy shit, my teeth hurt so much before I went back. GAH. Will continue to purchase and use this product.

Mitchum Women Stick Deoderant: Love this stuff. Works great. Smells great. Is great. This was the gel form, but I prefer the solid stick. Both work well, but the gel takes a while to dry down and it still leaves white marks on your clothes if you’re not careful.

Cake Beauty Ultra-Nourishing Hand Cream: Again, not available from Cake Beauty anymore, so I just linked to their general hand cream page. This stuff was awesome. Absorbed fast, made my skin feel great, and smelled like lemon cake. Aaahhh….But this stuff is really old and started to smell kinda funky.

All righty. We’ve reached the bottom of the bin. Hope some of this was helpful, if you’re looking for recommendations. Until next time!

Ipsy January 2018

All righty. Here we are, 2018, new year, new Ipsy bag, same lame ass non-info card bullshit...

For those who may not know, Ipsy is a monthly subscription service. For $10, you'll get 4-5 sample (sometimes full) sized makeup, hair, skin care products, and a reusable makeup bag. Check them out here: IPSY

(I pay for this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones)

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January's theme is Game Face, I think. To be honest, I usually throw away the card the second I take it out of the bag. It's covered in bullshit platitudes, heavy handed 'inspirational' crap, and I can hardly believe it but I'm sure it's even smaller than last year. To play devil's advocate with myself, they're probably saving $$ by not making it larger and are able to get companies like The Balm, Ole Henriksen, and other well-known brands to get their products in here. But still....SO FUCKING WEAK.

The bag is an absolute hideosity. I just can't even...the contrasting colors are so 80s, which might be on trend but as a child of that era, I don't ever wanna see it again! However, I'm digging the products this month!

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Absolute New York Eye Artist Single Shadow (Posse): This shadow is soft but not crumbly, decently pigmented, and does look very pretty on the eye. It swatches like a warm orange/brown but it's actually a rose-taupe color. It's nothing super special so I'll probably donate it. Looks full size and goes for $5. (their website says CF but I can't find any corroboration on that from my cruelty free resources so...?)

The Balm Mary-Lou Manizer: I've tried quite a few products from this brand through Ipsy and I've been satisfied with most. I've never tried this cult favorite and now I can! Though I hate the size of their samples (sometimes the small pans are difficult to work with) I'm usually happy to get something from them. I'm sort of okay with Mary-Lou. It's described as a warm honey color but it looks more light gold. Can look like a wet, high-shine accent on the skin, which is nice. In some light, though, I can see all the sparkle (mirco glitter, at least, and not giant chunks). So I do and don't like it. When I'm in the mood to look like a micro fairy jizzed on my face, I'll probably reach for this. Full size is $24 so this 1g sample is around $3. (CF)

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Cake by Cake Beauty Heavenly Cream Intensive Body Balm: I still have 2 or 3 other lotions from Cake Beauty but they are all different formulas! This stuff smells fantastic and absorbs well. It's 20% shea butter and also contains aloe and camellia leaf extract. I look forward to smelling like vanilla frosting for the next 6 months. Mmmm...frosting (disclaimer: don't be an asshole and eat lotion. That's just dumb.) Full size goes for $22 so this 1 ounce sample runs around $4.50. (CF)

Ole Henriksen Banana Bright Eye Cream: Holy hell the website claims this eye cream can do ALL THE THINGS - brighten, reduce dark circles, firm, instantly reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, and is great for under concealer. Then there's a long list of data including lots of "100%" and asterisks and on and on. Personally that comes off as trying too hard but that's just me. The first time I tried it, it felt thick and sticky and didn't brighten anything. BUT it did feel moisturizing and it absorbed rather quickly for such a thick cream. I thought it would be too heavy under concealer but damn if the Tarte Shape Tape didn't look great! If nothing else, at least it'll provide some moisture during this frigid winter season! Full size is $38 so this teeny sample is maybe $7.50. (CF)

SLMISSGLAM L36 Tapered Highlight Brush: I love getting brushes. And I'm not usually a girly-girl, but the pink glittery handle on this is adorbs. The synthetic bristles are super soft and it works perfectly with the Mary-Lou Manizer highlight sample! Apparently it works with powders, creams, and liquids but...because it's kind of flimsy, I'm not so sure about that. I'll have to test it out. Full size. This brush is not available on the SLMISSGLAM site (which actually makes me want to throw up it's such a pastel rainbow unicorn glitter shit show) so it may be an Ipsy exclusive. I've linked the closest looking set of 6 brushes which goes for $80. So maybe this brush is around $13. (CF)

All told this bag is around a $33. Not terrible but I've had bags that are upwards of $50-$70 so it's kinda weak. However, I do think I'll get a lot of use out of the products this months so it's still a win for me!

 

Ipsy June 2017 Review

For those who may not know, Ipsy is a monthly subscription service. For $10, you will received 4-5 sample (sometimes full sized) makeup, hair, and skin care products along with a reusable makeup bag. Check them out here: IPSY

(I pay for this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones)

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This month's theme is whatever-who-fucking-cares month. The bag is really cute, though. Canvas on the outside with a nylon lining. I dig it. Let's get into the products, shall we?

Delectable Coconut and Cream Triple Moisture Body Lotion: (by Cake Beauty) I liked the lemon hand cream I got before much better than this. This is very lightweight and absorbs quickly, which is nice. But when I got my Ipsy bag, the second I opened the bubble pack I was smacked in the face with a coconut scent. The tube was still capped and sealed, nothing was broken or torn. But the scent just permeated EVERYTHING. Not very happy about that. I like coconut but dayum. Full size is 8 ounces so this 2 ounce size is valued around $3.50. (CF and Vegan)

Doucce Maxlash Volumizer Mascara (black): I can't report on this yet because I have about 5 open mascaras already. Didn't want to open this just yet. But I love trying new mascaras! Full size goes for $22 (can't seem to find the amount and a lot of mascaras hold between 7mls and 11 mls). So let's say this one is about 8mls so this travel size of 6 mls costs about $16.50 (CF)

Vasanti Cosmetics Power Oils Lip Gloss in Super Mom: Love love love this lip gloss. I'm actually a bit tired of matte lipstick (not that I will stop wearing it, of course) but with summer in full swing, it's nice to switch things up. Super pigmented, not sticky at all, long lasting, this color is gorgeous and will probably look good on almost everyone. Full sized, this gloss goes for $22 - though it's on sale right now for $19. (CF)

TheBalm Cosmetics Balm Springs Blush: I do like getting products from TheBalm. I've really enjoyed a lot of their makeup. This blush is a gorgeous neutral rosy shade. Look very natural, at least on my pasty ass skin. My only issue is the samples they use are so small they're hard to work with. Very difficult to get an even brush full of powder. Still nice though! Full size (5.5g) is $21 so this 1g sample is probably around $4. (CF)

Beauty for Real I-LINE 27-7 Eyeliner in Chocolate Fix: While I admit this color is really nice (sometimes it's hard to find a brown that's neutral or cool toned) the lasting power is for shit. Tightlined with it and within 5 minutes it was gone. It lasted a tad longer on the actual eye lids. Fucking weak. I doubt I'll be reaching for this very often. This is full sized and goes for $14. (I assume CF because the founder works with the SPCA - that'd be MAJOR hypocritical if the brands wasn't CF, yes?).

Wow, the value of this bag is around $57 (give or take a few bucks due to my mathematical prowess). That's not too shabby!

Ipsy March 2017 Review

Well, it looks like there's a slight change in the Ipsy set up this month. Instead of a big card filled with useless platitudes and bullshit, it's now a tiny card with useless platitudes and bullshit. I'm wondering if the smaller card and larger bag are related in any way...

For those who may not know, Ipsy is a monthly subscription service. For $10 you receive 4-5 sample (sometimes full) sized products in a reusable makeup bag. Check them out for yourselves here: IPSY

(I pay for this with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones)

Not sure if the "Pretty is as pretty does" is the theme but who fucking cares anyway? The bag is larger than what's been sent in the past. Maybe a couple extra inches...and who doesn't like a couple extra inches, amirite? The bag feels like microfiber, is a pretty peach/pink color, and the design on the front is kinda cool. Have to say I'm digging this bag. It'll be great for travel. The products are:

Air Repair Skincare Complexion Boosting Moisturizer: I do like to try different moisturizers. Never heard of this but it touts being great to help repair damage and sooth dry skin. $21 for full size so this 10ml sample is about $3.50 (CF)

Cake Beauty Desserted Island Surpeme Body Mousse: Sometimes body and hand creams can be hit or miss. This feels very light but moisturizing. I'll let you know how it does but it smells heavenly (coconut and vanilla). Full size is $22 so this sample is $2.75. (CF)

Tarteist Quick Dry Matte Lip Paint: I can't tell if I got Rose or Delish. Both colors on line look the same but NOT what it looks like on me. It's a very warm terra cotta shade on my lips so I don't like it. The formula, however, does exactly what it says. It dries in seconds! It also doesn't feel drying, almost like there's nothing on your lips at all. It's totally transfer proof, until you eat something oily at least. Not sure about just water. But I'll see if anyone else wants this because I won't wear it. Full size is $20 so this 6ml sample is just over $3. (CF)

Doucce Freematic Eyeshadow in Marisa: The swatch doesn't really do this shade justice. It's got a bronze/pink shift to it (sort of like Urban Decay Fireball or Colourpop's Come and Get It). In the pan it looks rosy but not so much on the eyes. You can use this wet or dry depending on the look you want. I can't tell from their site but this looks like a full sized pan and it's worth $10. (CF)

Elizabeth Mott Blending Brush: LOOOOVE when they put in makeup brushes. And this one is so dang soft! I can't wait to use it. Full size and is worth $15. (CF)

All righty. This month's bag is worth just about $34. Not terrible, considering I'm kind of excited about all the products AND the bag is bigger than before. And everything is cruelty free. Whoop!

 

Ipsy December 2016 Review

Almost end of the year, folks. Where the FUCK did 2016 go? Personally, I'm happy to see it leave.

For those who don't know, Ipsy is a monthly subscription service. For $10 every month you'll get sample (sometimes full) sized beauty, hair, and skin products in a reusable make-up bag. Check them out here: IPSY

I pay for this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones.

This month's theme is Carpe P.M. Have I mentioned how much I LOATHE these fucking useless themes? That said, the bag is kind of adorable. At first I was hesitant but the fuzzy deep fuschia wine colored bag is growing on me! Also the products look pretty fucking sweet.

Mint Pear beauty sponge: I adore makeup sponges. They make foundation look flawless and they're also great for smoothing out concealer or any other cream product. Even nice to tamp down too much highlighter (is there such a thing as too much highlighter??). I haven't used this yet but even dry it feels soft enough. It looks full size which is valued at $20. (CF)

UPDATE: I just used this the other day and it SUUUUUCKS. It does not absorb water like it's supposed to and felt like I beat myself up with rock when I tried to apply foundation. 

Make Beauty moonlight primer: I've never seen a primer start out looking like the black ooze that's usually involved with alien abductees. This product claims to protect the skin against High Energy Visible light and Infra Red light - both which apparently fuck your shit up in the premature aging department. It feels super light and absorbs quickly. Haven't used it as a primer yet so I'll let you know. 1 fl. ounce goes for $55 so this .1-ish ounce should cost around $5.50. (CF) This company also donates 10% of its sales to We See Beauty foundation. Cool.

Tarte Cosmetics Tarteist Glossy Lip Paint in WCW: I love Tarte cosmetics, man. So anytime I get something in one of my bags I'm happy. The formula on this lip paint is smooth, not sticky at all. The color is fucking gorgeous! That said, though, it is streaky (which you can see in the hand swatch) and dark glossy lip products just love those crevices around my lips. I can use a lip liner with this but I'm less likely to reach for this because of those two factors. Full size is $20 so this sample is worth around $3. (CF)

Cake Beauty heavy cream intensive hand repair balm: This stuff smells like straight up vanilla cake. So delicious! And it's a super thick hand cream that works pretty dang well. And now is the time of year for this kind of treatment! Full size costs $22 so this sample should be valued around $6.50. (CF - and Canadian!)

NYX Prismatic eyeshadow in Punkheart: I love NYX and I love their prismatic eyeshadows. These little pans of almost duochrome wonderfulness are super pigmented and blend out like a dream. I have Frostbite already so I'm excited to add this gorgeous plumy purple shade to my collection. This is full size and goes for $6.

Overall looks like this bag is worth somewhere around $41. Not too bad. Yes, I've had higher valued bags but I don't think I've been as happy with all the products like this. Nice way to end the year, Ipsy! And with all cruelty free companies. Hooray! Now PLEASE start making cards with product info already. Maybe that can be your New Year's resolution, m'kay?