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I'm a writer of horror and dark fiction. I've been doing this since 1999 and believe me when I say, it's cheaper than therapy and safer for the world at large.

Filtering by Tag: Absolute NY

Ipsy January 2018

All righty. Here we are, 2018, new year, new Ipsy bag, same lame ass non-info card bullshit...

For those who may not know, Ipsy is a monthly subscription service. For $10, you'll get 4-5 sample (sometimes full) sized makeup, hair, skin care products, and a reusable makeup bag. Check them out here: IPSY

(I pay for this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones)

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January's theme is Game Face, I think. To be honest, I usually throw away the card the second I take it out of the bag. It's covered in bullshit platitudes, heavy handed 'inspirational' crap, and I can hardly believe it but I'm sure it's even smaller than last year. To play devil's advocate with myself, they're probably saving $$ by not making it larger and are able to get companies like The Balm, Ole Henriksen, and other well-known brands to get their products in here. But still....SO FUCKING WEAK.

The bag is an absolute hideosity. I just can't even...the contrasting colors are so 80s, which might be on trend but as a child of that era, I don't ever wanna see it again! However, I'm digging the products this month!

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Absolute New York Eye Artist Single Shadow (Posse): This shadow is soft but not crumbly, decently pigmented, and does look very pretty on the eye. It swatches like a warm orange/brown but it's actually a rose-taupe color. It's nothing super special so I'll probably donate it. Looks full size and goes for $5. (their website says CF but I can't find any corroboration on that from my cruelty free resources so...?)

The Balm Mary-Lou Manizer: I've tried quite a few products from this brand through Ipsy and I've been satisfied with most. I've never tried this cult favorite and now I can! Though I hate the size of their samples (sometimes the small pans are difficult to work with) I'm usually happy to get something from them. I'm sort of okay with Mary-Lou. It's described as a warm honey color but it looks more light gold. Can look like a wet, high-shine accent on the skin, which is nice. In some light, though, I can see all the sparkle (mirco glitter, at least, and not giant chunks). So I do and don't like it. When I'm in the mood to look like a micro fairy jizzed on my face, I'll probably reach for this. Full size is $24 so this 1g sample is around $3. (CF)

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Cake by Cake Beauty Heavenly Cream Intensive Body Balm: I still have 2 or 3 other lotions from Cake Beauty but they are all different formulas! This stuff smells fantastic and absorbs well. It's 20% shea butter and also contains aloe and camellia leaf extract. I look forward to smelling like vanilla frosting for the next 6 months. Mmmm...frosting (disclaimer: don't be an asshole and eat lotion. That's just dumb.) Full size goes for $22 so this 1 ounce sample runs around $4.50. (CF)

Ole Henriksen Banana Bright Eye Cream: Holy hell the website claims this eye cream can do ALL THE THINGS - brighten, reduce dark circles, firm, instantly reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, and is great for under concealer. Then there's a long list of data including lots of "100%" and asterisks and on and on. Personally that comes off as trying too hard but that's just me. The first time I tried it, it felt thick and sticky and didn't brighten anything. BUT it did feel moisturizing and it absorbed rather quickly for such a thick cream. I thought it would be too heavy under concealer but damn if the Tarte Shape Tape didn't look great! If nothing else, at least it'll provide some moisture during this frigid winter season! Full size is $38 so this teeny sample is maybe $7.50. (CF)

SLMISSGLAM L36 Tapered Highlight Brush: I love getting brushes. And I'm not usually a girly-girl, but the pink glittery handle on this is adorbs. The synthetic bristles are super soft and it works perfectly with the Mary-Lou Manizer highlight sample! Apparently it works with powders, creams, and liquids but...because it's kind of flimsy, I'm not so sure about that. I'll have to test it out. Full size. This brush is not available on the SLMISSGLAM site (which actually makes me want to throw up it's such a pastel rainbow unicorn glitter shit show) so it may be an Ipsy exclusive. I've linked the closest looking set of 6 brushes which goes for $80. So maybe this brush is around $13. (CF)

All told this bag is around a $33. Not terrible but I've had bags that are upwards of $50-$70 so it's kinda weak. However, I do think I'll get a lot of use out of the products this months so it's still a win for me!

 

Ipsy November 2016 Review

Holy crap this month snuck up on me! When I got that pink envelope in the mail I was completely unprepared. Usually I feel like I've been waiting for months and months for it to show up...

Anyway, for those who may not know, Ipsy is a monthly subscription service. For $10 you get sample (sometimes full) sized beauty, skin, and hair care products in a reusable make up bag. Check them out here: IPSY

(I purchase this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones)

The theme this month is Rock Starlet, whatever the FUCK that's supposed to mean. OMG so useless! The bag is kinda cute, though. It's made of that neoprene squishy material which is cool. The little star zipper pull is also cute. But the products this month literally made me gasp out loud. Except the first one so let's get that out of the way.

Pur-Lisse blue lotus balancing moisturizer: I got an eye cream from this brand before and it stung like a mother fucker. Even the lip balm I got last month stings a bit. So I'm not happy to put more of their acid on my fucking face. I'll try to be brave but don't hold your breath. Full size is $55 for 1.7 ounces (fuck off) so this .5 ounce sample is probably around $18. (CF)

Eyeko Skinny liquid eyeliner deluxe in Black: I have heard so many great things about this brand so imagine my excitement when I got a sample of their liquid liner! I forgot to take a swatch pic but it's super black and dried very quickly with no smudging. Update: It's not that black on the eyeball and it does break down in the wing part, when I draw one obvi. But it can be layered without crumbling or looking like crap. The 2g full size is $18 so this 1.2 gram is just about $9. (CF)

Absolute New York Matte Stick in Dark Red: I love me some red lipstick! I tried to swatch it on my lips but with my new bite splint it looked kind of goofy (yes, I simply could have removed it but I just put it in and fuck you, it's my mouth!). But the swatch on my hand is GORGEOUS! The angle of the bullet is nice but it's not tapered so application is a bit messy. It dries down to look matte but does not feel drying at all. It's very comfortable. And it smells like candy! Not transfer proof, though, so keep that in mind! It looks full size which is $6. (CF)

Tarte Maracuja Oil: I'm not opposed to face oils and this one has had a lot of hype. With winter coming, I'm going to need extra moisturizing. This product, supposedly, also brightens and smooths skin's texture. It can also be used as a make up remover, hair tamer, and a cuticle oil. Though at $48 a pop, I'll save it for my face. This .7 ml sample costs about $20.

TheBalm Mad Lash mascara: I've never tried this brand's mascara before. Though the eyeliner I just reviewed was crap, I'm still excited for this. Apparently this product delivers great volume. I'll let you know. Full size (8 mls) is $18 so this 2.5 mls sample is around $5.50. (CF)

Overall this bag is valued around $58.50. And everything was from a brand that's cruelty free. Whoop! Good job this month, Ipsy!

 

Ipsy October/November 2015 Reviews

Here's another double review for you! For those who don't know, Ipsy is a monthly beauty subscription service. For $10 you can 4-5 samples (sometimes deluxe sized, sometimes full) of beauty products. These can range from make up to skin care to hair products. Check them out!  (as always, I purchase this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones).  https://www.ipsy.com/

Let's start with October!

The theme for October was Alter Ego (whatever). Not that crazy about the bag. It looks like gold lame on the one side and black S&M vinyl on the back. 5 products came this month but I used some points to cash in on two extras.

Emite Slanted Tweezers: What needs to be said? They're tweezers. I actually needed a pair so it worked out for me but really, ipsy? Tweezers? Looking up this brand on-line, they are Swedish so I had to do a bit of conversion to get a value (read: Googled it). Apparently 200 Krona is about $22. FOR FUCKING TWEEZERS?!?

The Balm Meet Matt(e) Hughes Lipstick: (middle swatch) I've never tried the Balm lip products before and this shit is for real. Extremely long lasting (I ate a meal and some snacks and this stuff still stayed on), smells nice and minty, and it NOT drying at all. It does get really sticky as it dries down but the color doesn't peel or pull off. Does that make sense? Though I'm not crazy about the color - it's a little too warm for me - I'd be willing to spend $17 on a full size. This sample goes for around $3.50

Mica Beauty Cream Eyeshadow: (right swatch) I think I have other stuff from Mica. This cream shadow is a gorgeous gold/bronze shade (though this color is getting very tiresome from Ipsy). It's very pigmented and swatches nicely. Not patchy. I have no idea how it looks on the eyes because I can barely remove it from the back of my hand after 30 minutes of scrubbing with a makeup wipe. I'll need to get an oil based removed to see if that helps. Otherwise, I may never wear it, which would be a shame because it is pretty. It's an exclusive product for Ipsy so I couldn't find it on their site. Their regular mineral eye shadows are a similar weight and got for $15.

Lavanilla Laboratories Pure Vanilla Rollerball: I've reviews a lotion from these folks before and I didn't like the scent. It was way too heavy and artificial. That said, this roller ball perfume is everything I want in a vanilla scent! It's perfection in a tiny bottle! This mini size goes fro $12. I might consider purchasing the larger size at $19 (it's double the amount of the mini) but since I don't go through perfume all that fast I'd have to think on it. 

Ayres Hand Cream: I have a few other hand creams to work through so I haven't opened this one yet. The full size goes for $12.50 (1.4 ounces) so this .7 ounce bottle is about $6.25.

So this whole bag's value goes for almost $59. I'd say that's a steal, even if $22 of it goes for fucking tweezers. Lame.

The extras I got are:

Pixi Eyebrow Trio: It's a little baby palette of powders for brows. The highlight shade didn't swatch at all. The two brown shades take a lot of back and forth to get the damn color to show up. So if you want just a hint of color in your brows, something soft, this could work. But the pigmentation is so shitty I'm not sure it's even worth it. Definitely not worth $6 and not worth the points I wasted on it.

Befine Cucumber Mask: I can't even remember if I've tried this yet. I want to say yes because I wanted to know if the cucumber smell was crazy. And I don't believe it was. Full size (4 ouces) goes for $25 so this 1 ounce sample is about $6.

 

WHEW! Now let's get on to November!

Theme is Beauty Blast. Who knows? The bag is totally cute and colorful though the materials is similar to a vinyl pool toy. But I'm already over it.

Pantene Blowout Extend Dry Shampoo: I haven't tried this one yet as I have another can of Batiste to work through. But I'm a little nervous. My stylist (current and ones in the past) have warned me off Pantene shampoo products before so I'm not too eager to crack this baby open. Full size goes for $5-7 so this sample is probably around $2.

Tre'Stique Mini Matte Lip Crayon: I got the color Chili Red and I first I thought it was an obnoxious bright cherry color but it's a little deeper on my lips. It's definitely got a blue base so it works out for my skin tone. It feels like nothing is on your lips. Not drying at all and it lasts forever! I forgot I had the stuff on and it lasted through most of the day which included eating at least one meal and some snacks. I can't find the matte crayon alone (it's only paired with a gloss stick) and goes for $28. BUT you can purchase 3 mini crayons for $25 so I'd put this one mini's value at around $8.

Smashbox Full Exposure Mascara: I don't normally buy a lot of high-end makeup. But if something is really good, I seriously consider it. I got a sample of this and while I don't agree it adds volume at all, it does a beautiful job of separating and lengthening my lashes beautifully! I think it's the natural bristle brush - those are my favorite. Not sure if I'd spend $20 on a full size though. I don't know how much is in a full size but I'm guessing this sample of 3 ml is product 1/4 of a regular tube so figure on $5 value.

Absolute NY Nano Liner: I do love a good liquid liner pen. Though they have a tendency to dry out faster than the brush/bottle combos, they are a bit easier to use. I've only swatched this on my hand but it went on smoothly and you can make the line thin or thick. I believe this is full size which goes for $10.

Jelly Pong Pong Liquid Gossamer: I've heard of this brand but never tried it before. This is a liquid/cream product that you're supposed to use all over your face for a luminous look. I can't do that because my pores are as big as New Jersey so this kind of product just accentuates that. HOWEVER, it would make an awesome highlight and I'm kind of addicted to highlighters right now. The color is a gorgeous rose champagne and it doesn't look like there's a lot of chunky glitter in it. I don't mind a little but too much or too big comes off like little kid makeup. This is a full size tube and it goes for $23.

Overall I'm super happy with this month. It's value is probably just under $50 so even though last month seemed to have more value, I like the products in November's bag much better!