The Monkey Is In.

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I'm a writer of horror and dark fiction. I've been doing this since 1999 and believe me when I say, it's cheaper than therapy and safer for the world at large.

Filtering by Tag: eye primer

PDs, MEHs, and GFYs April 2020

I’m considering changing the name of these posts. The title is just a little long and not all that snappy, you dig? Something more like Yay or Nay, maybe Dead or Alive? I don’t know. I’m gonna ponder it for a while. Maybe by the next post, I’ll have my shit together. In the meantime…

For those of you who are new here, this is basically my likes and dislikes of products I’ve used over the past 3 months. Some are things I’ve fallen in love with and can’t sing their praises enough; others are products that make me want to burn this whole damn world down. Let’s take a look!

PDs (Panty Droppers)

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Colourpop Super Shock Shadow in Cuddle Buddy: I love me some CP super shocks. The only bad thing is that many of them dry out loooong before you can use them up. Case in point here. I loved the shade - a shiny, cool-toned pink that was a perfect color for me to put all over my eyelid and call it a day. But it’s crumbly and hard to work with now. Would definitely get it again, except they don’t sell this shade anymore. Dammit.

Tarte Clay Pot Waterproof Liner in Prom Queen: Absolutely loved this shade. I have nothing like it in my stash. It’s a mid-tone cool purple, and shows up surprisingly well over a lot of eye shadow shades. But, like CP, it started to dry out and is difficult to use now. They don’t sell this shade anymore, but they have three colors still available and on sale for $10! That’s cheap for Tarte.

NYX Jumbo Eye Pencil in Milk: This is my go-to base to put on my eye lids anytime I want an eye shadow to really stand out or to help with the pigmentation (I’ve tried other pencils and even white gel eyeliner, but they don’t work as well as this). Some shadows look rather sheer on their own, but put them over a white or black base and voila! Perfection achieved. This pencil is sooper old, though, and is unusable. And really gross. I already got a new one!


MEHs (Mehs)

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ELF Eye Shadow Primer in Sheer: Though it says the color is ‘sheer’, there is some pigmentation here. It does cover discoloration, veins, etc., a little bit. I, personally, don’t like any color (like the Milani primer) but this is fine. However, its staying power is rather lacking. It holds eye shadows for just a few hours at most. I have really oily eye lids so maybe that has something to do with it. For the price ($3) it’s not horrible. It was actually the first eye primer I ever used, when I’d learned there was such a thing, but it was only $1 then!

TheYEON Jeju Canola Honey Clean Balm: One of those cleansing balms from Korea. Works great at removing makeup; smells nice. But I’ve developed a reaction to cleansing balms when I use them on my eyes (or if it gets in my eyes while using it on the rest of my face). They get all red, itchy, and crusty the morning after I use the balm. So I just can’t bring myself to finish this tub.

Pacifica Liquid Cover Full Coverage Lasting Concealer in 20NF: Don’t let that name fool you. It is NOT full coverage by any means (which is fine since I don’t like full coverage). But I bought it because it did claim it wasn’t drying and felt lightweight. It does feel light. So much so that it doesn’t cover anything. Well, maybe it adds a little coverage to the purple under my eyes, and was okay as a spot concealer. But it mostly it just blends away, leaving the skin looking kinda dry. It might work better for people with oilier skin or don’t have as many years on them as I do.


GFYs (Go Fuck Yourselves)

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Colourpop Glitterally Obsessed Body Glitter in Wish Me Luck: What is the fucking purpose of this stuff? You use it once and that’s it. Even with a sealed container, this shit is completely useless after one application. And surprise, it’s not available on the site anymore. Just pressed glitters and glitter gels, which you have to dig to find because they’re not on any pop up menus. Figures.

Burt’s Bees Overnight Intensive Lip Treatment: If by treatment you mean it completely dries out the lips so you put on more balm, which dries out your lips MORE, so you put on MORE balm, which dries out the lips even MORE….do you see where I’m going with this?

Essence The Eyebrow Pen in Dark Brown: I’m practically crying over here as I type this. This is the 2nd pen I bought, just in case the first one was a dud (it happens in every makeup brand). NOOOOOOOPE. This pen was even worse than the last one. At least I got one eyebrow done with the last pen. I didn’t even get that with this one. Semi-permanent color, my ASS, Essence. FUCK YOU.

Real Techniques Eye Miracle and Finish Miracle Remedy Sponges: What the fucking fuck is the point of these? They don’t absorb water; they’re hard as rocks; they don’t blend out makeup. WHY DO THESE EVEN EXIST?? Gods dammit, RT. What the hell are you doing over there? Laughing all the way to the bank, I presume.

Okay. That’s it for this quarter. Hope everyone is being smart, staying safe and healthy, and hanging on to their sanity in any way they can. Until next time!

Medusa's Makeup March 2017 Review

All righty folks. I was researching a bunch of cruelty free subscription services and came across this one. I've heard of the brand, Medusa's Makeup, from Tori over on YouTube (I think). It's made in the US and all cruelty free and vegan (the vegan part doesn't mean that much to me - just the CF status). They have a monthly subscription service where for $16, you get 3-5 full sized MM's products. Pretty awesome. Check them out here: MEDUSA'S MAKEUP

I purchase this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones.

I took a ton of pictures for this first review so you can get an idea of how everything comes each month. I won't be quite so detailed in the future.

Similar to the Ipsy pink bubble pack (this one has a little more purple to it - not that it matters but...shut up), all the items come in this envelope with extra bubble wrap around the products inside. And UNLIKE Ipsy, the card included has all the product info WITH pictures AND pricing! See the size comparison of cards below between MM and Ipsy. Fucking weak-ass Ipsy card...

Anyhoo...

The products I got in my first month are pretty fucking tits. Granted, I don't like half of them but the sizes are great and the products themselves are cool. Let's get into it.

Stick It Eye Primer: This I don't like. It's one of those wax based eye primers that just don't work on my oily lids. When I first used it, and put the eye dust over it, the green pigment really popped! But within an hour or two, it had faded and creased like a mother fucker. This probably works better for people who have normal to dry eyelids. I'll see if I can find another use for it because it feels nice on the skin. Maybe for my nails/cuticles...? 

Lip Paint in Get Lucky: I like the product itself. Goes on rather smooth and it's pretty dang pigmented. But I don't like the color. A little too bright/neon for me and it can look kind of streaky at first. I think that's an issue for most bright or neon colors because of the white base needed to create it so it probably takes a little practice to get it to look really good (though I got it to look good for the swatch). But it didn't feel super dry. It was very comfortable!

Lipstick in Lydia: Now THIS is right up my alley. Love love love the shade, a soft lavender. The lipstick is very creamy, pigmented, and felt so great on the lips. A little similar to Colourpop's Marshmallow but a bit brighter with less grey. The packaging for the lipstick is freakin' awesome.

Eye Dust in Wasabe: My final product is a loose mineral pigment in a gorgeous bright green shade. The swatch below does NOT do it justice but it's a nice alternative if you want to go soft. It works best with a wet base underneath (like the primer but I used a glitter glue the first time I wore it and that shit didn't budge for 12 hours). That's when the color really explodes. Gorgeous! 

That's it for the first month. A $39 dollar value (see, the math is already done for me on the card!) for $16 is fucking sweet. I'm super happy with this service so far. Yes, it's just one month but what a first month! If anyone wants the lip paint or the primer just let me know. It's yours.