The Monkey Is In.

So be prepared. Bring a banana.

I'm a writer of horror and dark fiction. I've been doing this since 1999 and believe me when I say, it's cheaper than therapy and safer for the world at large.

Morgue Drawer July 2016

Okay so I'm a smidge later than the post from May but...well, that's it. I'm a little later. 

(Cruelty Free: CF, Not Cruelty Free: NCF, Don't Know: ?)


Little Bit Face, A Little Bit Body

Garnier Micellar Cleansing Water: This is the only micellar water I've found that does a decent job of removing make up while NOT burning my eye holes. Though it's not CF, if I can't find anything else, I may purchase it again. (NCF)

ELF Cleansing Cloths: I don't use these for my face. EVER. They burn like a mother fucker. But they're great for removing swatches off my hands and fingers. And they're $3 so I don't feel bad about it. (CF)

Coola Tinted Moisturizer: Though this was a teeny tiny on the yellow toned side for me, I could get away with it because it's such a light tint. Awesome lightweight formula. Feels like a mousse, not a lotion. And it has SPF. Winning! (CF)

Kumari Body Oil: I loved this stuff. You put it on after you shower but before you dry off so you don't have to rinse it. The moisture lasted all day and I loved the scent. (CF)


All Face, All The Time

Leaders Masks: Collagen - not sure if it firmed anything but I loved it. The fit was perfect, the cotton was super soft, and it was saturated beyond belief. My skin looked great. Propolis - very good mask. My skin felt very hydrated (and the physical properties are like the collagen one). Brightening - I don't remember much about how well this one worked. But I bet it fit really well like the others! (?)

3W Clinic Red Ginseng Mask: This was kinda meh. That's all I can remember about it. (?)

Dewy Tree Nose Patch: This is for blackheads, which I don't have, but it does pull out any kind of gunk stuck in your pores. It was something kinda different and fun, sort of. (?)

Too Cool for School Egg Mellow Cream: I really liked this moisturizer. Nice and thick, I used it as a night cream. Did a decent job of keeping my skin hydrated overnight. (?)

Bliss Drench 'n' Quench Moisturizer: Smells great. It's a thin formula so it soaks in quickly. I think I layered this with a face oil for an extra boost of moisture. (NCF)

Skin Food Rice Mask: I LOVED THIS. It's like the consistency of pudding with little cooked rice bits in it. Nice gentle exfoliation. Though my arms got tired using it (you have to massage it in for about 10 minutes), my skin felt fantastic! I didn't get through it fast enough, though, and it expired with about 1/3 left in the container. (?)

First Aid Beauty cleanser: This is a great cleanser for people with sensitive and/or dry skin. It doesn't foam up but still does a decent job of cleaning. No perfumes either. My skin started to build up a resistance to it, though, so once I finished the bottle I didn't repurchase. (CF)

NYX Pore Filler: I love this face primer. I wear it alone or under makeup, depending on how my skin is. If it's dry, I don't use this. It will accentuate any dryness. But otherwise, it really smooths the appearance of my pores and fine lines. Already repurchased. (CF)

Mario Badescu Face Spray: I don't even know which bottle this is - 5th? 6th? I love this stuff. I spray it on before my moisturizer to help lock in hydration. I'll also mist throughout the day if I think I need it. Smells like roses. Lovely. (CF)


Wind In His Hair

Hask Mint and Almond Oil Thickening Shampoo: Didn't really thicken anything. Smelled really nice though. (CF)

Marc Anthony Argan Oil Hairspray: I love this stuff and I'll keep buying it. Smells awesome and it's a nice light hold. (CF)

Living Proof Dry Shampoo: It was okay. Smelled really nice but didn't do much. (?)

Pantene Dry Shampoo: Kind of useless. (NCF)


You Are Giving Me Randomness!

Bath and Body Works Foaming Hand soap: While I have discovered a CF company for foaming soaps, I do love these. Both scents were great! (NCF)

Secret Clear Gel deodorant: Staple personal hygiene product. Will keep buying. (NCF)

Degree Spray deodorant: I think I got this is a Walmart box or something. It actually worked really well. Kept the stink and sweat away. And it seemed like a never ending bottle. Took me FOREVER to get through it. (NCF)

Tom's of Maine Sensitive Toothpaste: I need to use sensitive formulas because I've got some issues with a few teeth and receding gums. No toothpaste can make THAT go away but this does help with any chewing sensitivity or just breathing in (which can hurt sometimes). Also this stuff doesn't make the inside of my mouth peel like every other brand I've tried. So weird when that happens. (CF)

Smart Ash Tooth Polish: I talked about this is a Petit Vour review. Interesting concept. Little messy and a pain in the butt but it was kind of fun, especially if you're looking for a natural tooth whitening option. (CF)

T-Relief Arnica Gel: Personally I like Traumeel better (it's basically the same thing as this stuff - homeopathic pain relief gel/cream) but I couldn't find it at the time so I grabbed this. It's okay. (NCF)


That's it for now. Come back at the end of September for the next installment!