The Monkey Is In.

So be prepared. Bring a banana.

I'm a writer of horror and dark fiction. I've been doing this since 1999 and believe me when I say, it's cheaper than therapy and safer for the world at large.

Petit Vour April 2016

A quick recap: I've been trying to go cruelty free with my makeup. And in that pursuit, I thought I'd try out a beauty subscription service that provides ALL cruelty free/organic/vegan products. Petite Vour is such a subscription service. I only signed up for three months to test it out (as opposed to a subscription - which will run you about $15 each month). If you'd like to check them out, go here: PETIT VOUR

Petit Vour comes in a cute little pink box. After you open it, the "Be Bold. Be Kind." slogan stares up at you with its big soft bunny eyes. It's actually kinda cool. I even love that the card inside, which has all the product info/pricing on the back (TAKE NOTE, IPSY), greets me with a hearty "hooray" and a spray of flowers. That other card is specific to one of the products - extra directions and info. It was a little intimidating. You'll understand when I describe it.

As the items in this box are organic and vegan and all that jazz, don't be surprised by some higher price tags.

Studio 78 Paris Organic Makeup (eyeshadow): The grey swatches you see are of the color eyeshadow I received. Really nice dark grey color with a taupe undertone. Very different. You can keep it light so more of that taupe shows through or build it up to a nice charcoal grey. Apparently no chemicals and bad shit in this brand's makeup so that's good! This will cost you $31-34.  

Kumari River Bath & Body Oil: I do like a nice body oil. You can either put a few dropper fulls into your bath water or rub it into your skin (unless you get the hose again...) after 'hydrotherapy' - read: shower/bath/steam/19th century therapy for mental illness. It smells really nice - little minty, little citrus. I'll try it out this weekend at Comic Con. The gods know I'll probably need some good hydrotherapy at least once. This sample bottle is $8.50 (full size $34).

Bedrock & Bloom Smart Ash Teeth Whitener (extra card was for this product): Okay this stuff scared me a little. It's a black powder that you use to whiten your teeth. Yes, seems contradictory, I know. Just wet your toothbrush, dip it in the powder, and brush your teeth. They give specific instructions and helpful hints to keep your bathroom and yourself relatively clean (this stuff stains, obvi). And I think it actually works. The sample is worth $3, a full jar will cost you $30. But a little goes a very long way.

 Arrrgghh and avast, ye scurvy scallywags!

Arrrgghh and avast, ye scurvy scallywags!

Juara Hand & Nail Balm: Like everything made with coconut something or other, this cream is nice but a little heavy on the coconut scent. It also doesn't really feel like my skin is that much softer or smoother after using it. Maybe I need to use more at once time? This sample tube is $2.50. Full size is $25.

If I had set this up as a monthly subscription, my $15 would have gotten me $45 worth of stuff. That's pretty dang good! I'm excited to see how the next two boxes stack up (ha! see what I did there?).