The Monkey Is In.

So be prepared. Bring a banana.

I'm a writer of horror and dark fiction. I've been doing this since 1999 and believe me when I say, it's cheaper than therapy and safer for the world at large.

Universal Yums April 2016 Box

Pizza in Poland is often topped with: A. Ketchup; B. Sour Cream; C. Mayonnaise; D Spaghetti Sauce.

If you really wanna know the answer, comment on this post!

This was just one of the trivia questions in April's Universal Yums box. For those who may not know, UY is a monthly food subscription. For $13 (which is the size we pay for) or $25 each month, you'll receive a box full of snacks and candy from a different county. It's so fun to get these and try foods that might not be something we here in America automatically turn to for sustenance. Or a gluttonous night of binge watching TV shows.

Check out this service here: UNIVERSAL YUMS

As you've probably figured out by now, this month brings us snacks from Poland. I have tried everything in this one and I must say....sooooo goooood!

Onion Potato Prazynki: these are Poland's version of the potato chip. The texture is...odd to say the least. Kind of like really thin styrofoam. But the flavor is phenomenal!

Katarzynki Dark Chocolate Gingerbread: not my favorite. The gingerbread texture is airy and spongy which makes me think it's stale. Also the molasses content is too high for me making it more bitter. But the chocolate is awesome.

Krowki Milky Cream Fudge: Very nice flavor on these. They do have a dryer fudge consistency so they aren't messy or gooey. Just soft and creamy and delicious.

E Wedel Chalwa: This is like eating the inside of a Butterfinger but instead of a peanut base it's sesame seed. Not super sweet and a little flakier and drier than it's American counterpart. But still good.

Prince Polo Hazelnut: Remember those sugar wafer cookies we grew up with (that are actually still made today)? This is a similar consistency - creamy hazelnut filling between layers of wafers then covered with chocolate. It's not as sweet as ours, which is a good thing, and it's probably my second favorite treat this month!

Solidarnosc Candied Plums: Basically it's chocolate covered dried fruit. I've had several versions of that here in the US but never plums. The plum gives a nice unique sweetness to this treat. Dare I say I liked it better than chocolate covered dried cherries? Yes, I dare.

Wawel Raczki "Lobster Tails": I don't know why these are called lobster tails. The booklet says that it's because of the pink & white candy shell. Huh? Whatever. The outer candy shell is thin and sweet and there's a crispy peanut filling inside with a hint of rum! Yes, please!

Milka Chocolate Covered Cow: No, it's not real cow. It's a cow shaped cookie with chocolate coating on one side. The cookie tastes like a mixture of pretzel, graham cracker, and vanilla and the chocolate is delicious!

E Wedel Panna Cotta Milk Chocolate Bar: O.M.F.G. This is the best snack in the box. I've had Polish chocolate before and it's fantastic. This, with sweet cream filling and raspberry preserves - HOLY FUCKING SHIT. You know how Ambrosia is supposedly the food of the gods? NOPE. It's this stuff! And I bet you can find it at a local Polish market. If not....RAAAAMPAAAAGGGEEEE!!

I'm tempted to say this month might have edged out the France box, even though that one was twice the size. I really would have paid $13 just for that Panna Cotta bar. 

The clue given for next month makes us think it's Greece so I'm excited to see what we'll get!