The Monkey Is In.

So be prepared. Bring a banana.

I'm a writer of horror and dark fiction. I've been doing this since 1999 and believe me when I say, it's cheaper than therapy and safer for the world at large.

AUGUST 3B Subscription Review

3B is a monthly beauty subscription service. For $12 a month, you receive 4-5 deluxe samples or full-sized beauty products from Asia. I purchase this with my own money and all thoughts and reviews are my honest opinion. Check them out for yourselves at

This month brought me an eye cream (ugh, why do they come in such HUGE tubes? I’ll never work through this whole thing); sheet mask (which I love); a mascara (the products card said it was supposed to be some kind of lash serum but that was a mistake); and a lip stain. 

I’ve already got a few open mascaras so it’ll be a bit before I crack this one open. But I do love to try new mascaras! This one I got is worth approximately $13.

I’m going to try and save the sheet mask as along as possible. It’s the only one I’ve got right now. This will run you about $2.

I’m using another eye cream now (as always because even the samples I get take FOREVER to work through - #firstworldproblems, I know) so again, it’ll be a while before I open this one. It’s value is either $5 or $20, depending on which site you find it.

I did open the lip stain and test it out. This is a sample (full size goes for $5) so I’m guessing this is about $2. First, the package is adorable. The top is heart shaped (adorbs) and the color of the stain is gorgeous. 

Top Pic: Left swatch is one swipe of fresh color and the right is 2-3 swipes. Bottom Pic: Stains after I wiped off the wet product. Now the swatches were only on my hand for about 30 seconds so believe me when I say this shit STAINS. They were both still there the next day! On the lips the stain wears off a bit faster (eating and drinking and talking and...whatever floats your boat-ing) but lasted a full day. This would be a great product for a convention or costume event. Doesn’t dry out the lips so you can keep putting a balm or gloss over the stain without it moving. Brilliant! The product is very watery so it’s a little difficult to work with and seriously, don’t fuck up the application because you don’t want to end up looking like you have mouth herpes.

This bag could be worth $22 or $37, depending on the true value of the eye cream.  I’m pretty happy either way!