The Monkey Is In.

So be prepared. Bring a banana.

I'm a writer of horror and dark fiction. I've been doing this since 1999 and believe me when I say, it's cheaper than therapy and safer for the world at large.

August Ipsy Bag - Review

Sorry I didn’t post a review for the July Ipsy bag. I was still really struggling with our dog’s death and didn’t feel the relevance of talking about make up. Don’t get me wrong. I love to get these things and talk about them but it just seemed so...frivolous last month. I’m still grieving over my boy and probably will be for a long time but I know I can’t stay in that sad hole forever or I’ll never be able to leave.

So slowly but surely I’m putting my fingers back to the keyboard to write (anything), working conventions, participating in life again. Besides, the new couch we got a few months ago is really starting to make my ass sore.

My August Ipsy bag arrived a few days ago. The theme is Prep School (who really cares? they should have the product info on the card instead of creating an irrelevant theme but whatevs) and though the bag is hideous - I’m not a houndstooth print kinda gal - the items inside are pretty sweet.

Yeah, this isn’t some pervy old man fantasy of schools girls at all.

Yeah, this isn’t some pervy old man fantasy of schools girls at all.

Eco-Beauty Night Cream: I’ve used an Eco-Beauty face wash before (from another Ipsy bag). I loved that product so I have high hopes for this one. As soon as I work my way through a sample of the Neutrogena Hydro Gel cream, I’ll give this a shot! Sample is .5 fl oz (full size is 1.7 fl ounces for $40) which is probably around $13.

Albertini International Divine Skin Hydrator: Never heard of this but it’s an in-shower moisturizer. I’m excited to try it but I’m going to have to warn the hubby when I use it because it comes with a warning that it may make tub and shower surfaces slippery. Maybe I need to get some adhesive ducks...(Big Bang fans know what I mean). Sample is 1 ounce (full size is 9 ounces at $16) so this is about $1.75.


Doll 10 Beauty Hydrogel Cream Blush (Flirt): I do love me some cream blush. Most of them are super easy to blend and they are great for those low make-up days. Just slap some on and your days of being mistaken for one of the undead is over. At least for a few hours. This color is a soft deep peach shade. I can pull off the peach. But this is awfully close to orange/coral so a light hand is needed. I’ve worn it once already and it goes on so smooth and it looks like a natural flush of color. I’ve never heard of the brand but I’m impressed so far. This size is 3.15 grams (full size is 4 grams for $16) so I’d guess this is just about the same price, maybe $15.


Noyah All Natural Lipstick (Desert Rose) and Lord & Berry Ultimate Lipliner (Nude): Never heard of Noyah but I have heard of Lord & Berry. Never tried either. The lipstick (left swatch) looks a lot more like Barbie Pink on my lips but I like that it’s all natural, never tested on animals, and synthetic free. It feels creamy on first application but it does get a little dry. Not like a full matte but more of a satin finish. In case you can’t see the deets in the photo there is a promo code for this brand (15% off PLUS a free lip balm). Go to and use code noyahROSES. Why the hell not, right? This sample is .04 ounces (full size, with much cuter packaging, is .16 ounces for $18) so what I got is about $4.50.

The lipliner will never be nude in my universe but it’s really creamy and goes on so smooth. It claims to be waterproof, highly blendable, and contains waterlily extracts and macadamia oil. I’m willing to play around with it (maybe I can dip back into that 90s look of super dark lip liner and frosty light lipstick....maybe not). Sample is .03 ounces (can’t find the full size amount on-line but they’re $18) so perhaps the sample is $12.


Overall I guesstimate this bag to be worth about $46 so for the $10 monthly cost, I made out like a bandit. All of these products will be used, some probably more than others, but I’m very happy with this month’s offerings!