The Monkey Is In.

So be prepared. Bring a banana.

I'm a writer of horror and dark fiction. I've been doing this since 1999 and believe me when I say, it's cheaper than therapy and safer for the world at large.

Filtering by Tag: makeup

Project Pan 2018 Results (SPOILER: TOTAL FAIL)

Well, maybe not a complete and total fail…

If you’ve been keeping up on my fast and furious posts (read: sarcasm) then you know I attempted a Project Pan with my make-up collection. And while I did manage to finish up a handful of items, on the whole (Preparation H DOES feel good) I didn’t do so hot. I blame the Gemini in me that constantly craves variety, and my attention span born of the MTV Generation.

I’ll measure any progress I made, post it below, and probably NEVER ATTEMPT THIS AGAIN. I do plan to keep a small basket/box on my vanity with products I use more often, but I will not pressure myself to use them up ASAP. That’s what I’ve been doing for the past month or so and it seems to be working out better.

Okay, I actually made a bit more progress on these than I originally thought. First pic of each is the starting point. The J Cat eye brow pencil started around 2 2/10 centimeters and is now about 1 7/10. This damn thing is killing me. If you want a long lasting eyebrow pencil, J Cat is the way to go.

The second is the Milani Stay Put eye liner. This works better as a shadow base because if I put this on my water line, my eyes wake up all crusty the next day. Ew. Started out at 12 centimeters and is now down to 11 4/10. Not too bad. It is really soft, though, and easy to wear down - assuming I remember to use it.

The last eye pencil is the 24/7 Urban Decay eye liner. Looks like it started somewhere around 8 6/10 and is down to 8 1/10. I might actually use this up before 2020. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

This NYX highlighter got more use than I thought as well. I made quite the dent…but didn’t come close to finishing (that’s what she said.) I’m so fucking sick of it, though, so it’s going away for a while. I also learned that blushes REFUSE to wear down, no matter how often or aggressively you grind a brush into them. So….yeah.

I think the only products I finished from Update #2 were the Tarte loose powder that I used for setting concealer and the NYX pore filling primer. It’s possible I used up mascara or two as well, but since I didn’t document it in photographs, it didn’t happen, right? I did end up donating a couple of foundations to Project Beauty Share because they didn’t work for my skin, and so I removed them from the project (BH Cosmetics and The Ordinary.)

The following products had such little progress, it wasn’t worth taking pictures: Colourpop gel eyeliner and brow gel; ELF cream shadow; NYX jumbo pencil in Milk and nude eye pencil; Tarte pressed foundation; Pixi bronzer; Wet & Wild lip balm (which I ended up getting rid of because I never used it at all.) The Secret Key eye cream is so close to being done, but the tube is opaque so I can’t show you.

Any products I’ve used up with spoolies or some kind of brush (mascara, brow gel) will be cleaned and donated to the Wands for Wildlife project. Check out the link. It’s actually pretty damn cool!

I am keeping a small basket of products on my vanity to try and use on the daily. I still have the J Cat pencil - at this point, it’s become personal - and the Colourpop eye brow gel. I’ve thrown in a mascara I used regularly, as well as my face primer, and a color brow gel and powder. But otherwise, I’m having my mood dictate the rest of it.

If you did a Project Pan, comment on this post and let me know how you did!

Allow Me to Introduce Myself. My name is Lazy Slackovich

I was just going through my “Appearances” page, to update a few things for the coming year, and realized I haven’t posted a mother fucking thing since September.


I do have some legitimate excuses. For those who know me and my husband, know that his company’s busy season hits late August and runs through October. I am recruited to help work a lot of programs during that time, so things like this blog or my makeup/movie reviews take a back seat. For the most part.

But on top of all that, I fell down some stairs at the beginning of October. Not a full flight, just the two from our kitchen to the backdoor. I can’t be certain, but I think the tile and metal of those steps are harder than any other tile and metal out there. For a good two weeks, I was pretty damn sore. I couldn’t get comfortable; my left butt cheek was the most beautiful shade of deep purple (seriously, it should be an eye shadow color); and I couldn’t focus on anything except the pain in my back/ass.

I am happy to report, though, that all has healed well, and we’ve established a new rule in my house: Peggy is not allowed to don footwear without solid or rubber gripped bottoms. I think I’ve also FINALLY shaken this fucking cold that’s had a death grip on my sinuses for the last two weeks!

So my plan is to do a few wrap up reviews. I’ve missed the past three months of the Notoriously Morbid lipstick subscription service, so I figured I’d just do one big one for the end of the year (though I might not get the December one until January,) then cancel it. More than likely I won’t be writing up the Universal Yums reviews anymore, either. I’ll do an end of the year Morgue Drawer, and PDs, MEHs, and GFYs, as well as one final report on my Project Pan (spoiler - it didn’t go well. This IS my shocked face.)

I also thought I should probably start writing up some quick reports on any conventions I attend as an author. I just attended ArtPop3 and was pleasantly surprised at how well it went. And don’t worry, I’ll get back to my movie reviews, too. That’s just another one that I need to figure out if I want to keep the same two I normally do (Cinema Head Cheese and SlackJawPunks) and add in a new series on my site, or combine, or what? I’m still cogitating that one…

Anyway, sorry for my absence but I promise to get back on track for 2019. Which is…27 days…away…..WHAT THE FUCK.