The Monkey Is In.

So be prepared. Bring a banana.

I'm a writer of horror and dark fiction. I've been doing this since 1999 and believe me when I say, it's cheaper than therapy and safer for the world at large.

Filtering by Tag: Secret

Morgue Drawer February 2017

Holy crap I've got a lot of garbage...I mean, empties to go through. I got a new box (heh...dirty) to store them in and it's a lot bigger than the last one. So let's just get started.

I'm Ready for my Closeup

These piles include all my face masks, serums, or anything related to skin care.

Purpletale 5-Step mask: Really nice. The mask came in two pieces so it fit better than most one piece sheet masks. The whole pack includes cleanser, moisturizer, serum, and mask. I thought I'd wake up greasy but I didn't. Very nice little kit. (?)

Tosowoong Refresh masks: I can't remember what the pink one is but the blue was Sea Cucumber. Smelled super fresh and felt great. Very moisturizing. (CF - I think)

Tosowoong Rice Paper pack: This was kind of a DIY mask. You fill a shallow tray with the serum/essence and put the dried sheet in it for 5 minutes. Comes out pliable like jello/jelly. Doesn't stay wet and drippy and there was really no remaining serum to pat into the skin. Probably won't buy again. (CF)

Wish Formula honey fermented mask: Very dry on my forehead and dripping off my chin. The mask itself was super soft. My skin felt like the serum was equally distributed despite the mask feeling dry in some parts. Maybe it absorbed into the skin? It was okay. (CF)

Leaders Anti-pollution Mask: Fit terribly! The serum on it was great but since the mask's fit was so bad it didn't get onto all areas of my face. Too bad. (NCF)

Body Shop Ethiopian honey mask: Not a sheet mask - just straight up jelly to spread on the skin. Felt fantastic. But it never dried down so it was difficult to remove without a washcloth. Couldn't tell if it improved the feel of my skin, though. (CF)

Nan Well Aloe Collagen mask: The mask itself was the softest nicest mask yet. Very moisturizing serum. I think this has been my favorite so far of all the masks I've used. (?)

Ultrue I'm Sorry For My Skin (various): I love the jelly serums on these masks. Not sure if they all perform differently or not but they feel great and my skin loves them. The mask does dry out right above my lip, though. That's kind of irritating. (CF)

It's Skin Todak Todak Pack: I thought this would be jelly but it was like a clay mask, very similar to my Freeman's Strawberry and Chocolate. Felt great! (?)

Bon Vivant Masks (various): The olive/collagen and rose ones are nice, though they dry out on various spots on my face. The lime one was awful. My skin got very irritated and my cheeks were red the next day. (?)

MasquerAide Weather Warrior mask: It was...okay. (? - their WashBeautyCo is CF but can't find any info on MasquerAide itself)

Mario Badescu facial spray: I love this stuff and I've talked about it before. Unfortunately, it seems Mario is now selling in China where they require animal testing on imported goods. *sad trombone* (NCF)

Etude House Pink Vital Water and Age Defense Essential Softener: Both are very thin moisturizers. I wouldn't use them on their own but they're a nice addition if you need just a little extra moisture. (CF but sell in China)

V10+ Serums (various): I couldn't tell if these did anything and I got about a week's worth of use from each packet. They all felt like water or thinned down aloe gel. Didn't irritate my skin so that's good, I guess. (?)

Soft, Smooth, and...Stink Free?

Secret Outlast deodorant: I don't know why I put this in with the moisturizers...eesh. I've used this brand for years but for some reason, it doesn't seem to work that well anymore. I've switched up to a new brand so I'll let you know how that works. (NCF)

Burt's Bees Intense Hydration Night Cream: Meh. Very very thin formula so it didn't feel like it did that much heavy duty moisturizing, which is what a night cream is supposed to do. Also BB will be selling in China so they can no longer be considered cruelty free. (NCF)

Dead Sea Premier body butter: I got accosted by one of those mall kiosk people and ended up with 3 tubs of this and 3 tubs of a body salt scrub. While the smell on this body butter IS AMAZING, and it does moisturize well, it's not worth the $$$ I got swindled into paying for it. (CF)

Alba Hawaiian lip balm: Good balm, didn't wear off too quickly or dry my lips. But the pineapple scent was just too overpowering. (CF)

Dessert Essence lip rescue: Meh. Little drying. (CF)

Purlisse lip nourisher: This was okay. Similar texture to Malin & Goetz but not as thick or long lasting. (CF)

Malin & Goetz Mojito lip balm: I got this AGES ago in an Ipsy bag, I think. I kept it on my nightstand but didn't use it every night so that's why it too so long to use up. It felt like the never ending tube! Product is fantastic. Thick clear balm, stays on all night (yes, all night), and smells like lime! Would definitely repurchase. (CF)

Yu-be skin cream: This is really only good for the feet. The menthol scent is super strong and I couldn't handle it on my hands. BUT...if you have sore feet, rub this stuff on them. Awesome. (CF)

My Makeup...MY MAKEUP!

NYX Makeup Remover: This stuff was pretty awesome. Left a little film but that doesn't bother me. The super small size does, though. There are other things I want to try so now that I've used these up on moving on to bigger and better (I hope). (CF)

ELF Cleansing Cloths: I just use these to clean off swatches. Don't like them for my face or eyes but for $3 a pack, I don't feel like I'm wasting money. (CF)

Sweet Libertine Mineral Veil: I found this company on Etsy. I don't think they exist anymore (I got this years ago) but this stuff is gorgeous. Adds a soft glow to the face/body without glitter. (As in indy company, I'd guess they were/are CF)

Too Cool for School Lip Balm: Not sure if this is a balm per se but that's how I used it. It was a soft pink/peach color that was perfect for just adding a little color and shine. Unfortunately, it was pretty drying on the lips and I never made it through the whole pot before it dried out. (?)

Pur Cosmetics Volume Vixen mascara: Rather thick and gloppy formula and smelled terrible! Didn't so much volumize as get all over my eye lids to make it LOOK like the base of my lashes were thick. Lame. (CF)

The Leftovers

Tom's of Main Toothpaste: I normally use the sensitive kind but had some whitening stuff I needed to use up. I've loved every kind of tried from this brand and will continue to use the sensitive. It's the only one that doesn't destroy the inside of my mouth. (CF)

Hask Strengthening shampoo: I don't think this strengthened anything but it's a decent shampoo. You know, it cleaned my hair. (CF)

Soap & Glory Rich and Foamous body wash: Love this stuff. Smells like oatmeal cookies. By the time I got to almost the end of the bottle, the product had thinned out and I needed to use 10 pumps to get it to foam up. So probably won't get it again. Maybe. (CF)

Spring Valley Tea Tree oil: I love using this for spot treating zits or problem spots on my face. Doesn't really matter what brand it is. Unfortunately, I think this one expired (the date rubbed off) and it really fucked up my face for over a week. Gotta be more careful next time. (?)

Tarte Deep Dive gel cleanser: Holy balls this stuff is awesome. My skin felt amazing, almost like I used one of those gel peel products (you know, you rub it all over your face until the dead skin balls up and you rinse it off). This is pricey, though, so not sure if I'll bite the bullet and order a full size. (CF)

 

I'm exhausted. That'll do for now!