The Monkey Is In.

So be prepared. Bring a banana.

I'm a writer of horror and dark fiction. I've been doing this since 1999 and believe me when I say, it's cheaper than therapy and safer for the world at large.

Universal Yums January 2017 Review

The first box of 2017 arrived about a week ago. Seemed earlier than what we've been usually getting so I'm not mad about it! For those who may not know, Universal Yums is a monthly subscription service. For $14 (or $25) every month you will receive a box of candy and snacks from a different country. Check them out here: UNIVERSAL YUMS

I pay for this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones.

January brings us Ukraine. Here's some trivia for you (answer at the bottom of the post):

What political part actually exists in Ukraine? A.The Red Party; B.The Birthday Party; C.The American Party; D.The Internet Party

That big card in the lower left is new this month. It's basically a rating sheet on the left for each food item. There are also a couple of little games on the right side. Yes, I finished the puzzle to get a hint for next month! Anyway, let's get into the food. I've decided that I need to try each item before posting here. That way you can get a better idea of what each treat tastes like!

Who Said Muuu?: A sectioned wafer bar with a sweet creamy milk filling. Waaaaay too overpowering flavor of milk in this. I just ate one little section and put the rest back. 

Macho Forest Mushroom Chips: Mostly yum. Taste like good potato chips with just a hint of mushroom flavor. Unfortunately, there's a weird lingering aftertaste that needs to be washed out with candy or alcohol. I guess that's not such a bad thing after all.

Oreiro Apricot & Cream Bon Bons: OMG these are the best things in the whole box. More wafer outside with a creamy filling (but these are just individual pieces instead of a bar that's got notches in it. Does that make sense? I think I'll need to start taking pics of the actual food...). Anyway, the filling is absolutely delicious. More delicate than orange or citrus, the apricot flavor is wonderful.

Roshen Creme Brulee Chocolate Bar: This isn't just plain chocolate, which would have been delicious all by itself. This candy is filled with a soft gooey caramel. Messy but awesome.

Red Caviar Bread Snacks: Remember the little hard crunchy bits from the Russia box (Korochki, I believe they were called)? This is the same style treat but caviar flavored. Very very very VERY salty and fishy tasting. Ugh.

Crazy Bee Candies: Soft gummy chews with a liquid center (think Gushers but softer). We got the lemon-lime flavor. It was great!

Svitoch Chervonyi Mak Candy: This is supposed to be a chocolate lovers ultimate fix. Kind of a dry texture, gritty, and a bitter after taste. Me no like.

Glass of Milk caramels: Very good. Soft texture but not sticky. The delicate milk flavor is so much better than the overpowering milk filling on that first snack.

Fizzy Boom Hard Candies: Think Zots but with better flavor. The candy itself is nice and fruity and the fizz adds a little sour surprise when you get to it. 

Overall I enjoyed this box with just a few exceptions. Based on the monthly clue on the back of the pamphlet, we think the next country will be Italy! Maybe that LEMON hint means we'll get something Limoncello flavored??

TRIVIA ANSWER: D. The Internet Party in Ukraine wants to create an electronic government that exists without bureaucracy (and paperwork).