The Monkey Is In.

So be prepared. Bring a banana.

I'm a writer of horror and dark fiction. I've been doing this since 1999 and believe me when I say, it's cheaper than therapy and safer for the world at large.

Universal Yums January/February 2016

Again, I got too distracted by life to remember to write up a January UY review. That's okay, though. I'll just put it here with the February one!

Universal Yums is a monthly food subscription service. For $13 or $25 a month, you'll get a box filled with international snacks and candy. I purchase the smaller one with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones. Check out there site!

January - Turkey

I've tried almost all of the stuff in this box. The Dankek Orange cake was a little dry but the flavor was great. The Krokan (the sesame thing on the right) was nice. Not too sweet or overwhelming of sesame. The Mastic gum was AWFUL! Tasted like I was chewing on a balloon. Every wrapper comes with a fortune but it's in Turkish so I have no idea what it says! The NutyMax hazelnut cream bar is, by far, THE best snack in this box. So creamy! The Albeni Biscuit tasted like a fat Twix bar. The Toffix fruit chews are awesome! Soft and chewy with a sweet filling. Very yummy!

Haven't tried the Pizza crackers yet. And that thing on the left, that looks like a giant vacuum wrapped turd, is apparently an aphrodisiac made of grapes, molasses, and walnuts. I have to admit, I'm a little nervous about that one. Overall, I loved the uniqueness of this box!


February brought us the bigger sized box because the folks over at YU apparently love their customers. Isn't that awesome?!? So we got double the treats this month and I've pretty much eaten all of it.

 I'll mention the two treats I haven't tried first: the Gourmand Fruit lollipops and the bubble gum. The gum comes with a temporary tattoo in each piece. How cool is that? It also claims to produce the largest bubbles in the world. Challenge accepted, France...

I've tasted or finished off all the rest. The Ker Cadelac palets taste like shortbread but not quite as buttery. Still good though! The Rochambeau cheese puffs are definitely stinky but they taste like a regular cheesy poof with just a slightly stronger flavor. The Madeleines are the hubby's favorite so I'm going to let him finish them. Moist buttery cakes. So good!

The Lutti caramels are cool. They have a hard candy shell and a soft smooth center. Delicious. I demolished the Nougat bar in about 5 minutes. I love me some nougat and this contained pistachios and almonds. MMMMMMM. Rose Pastilles are first. I love the flavor of rose candy (who knew?). These have the rose on the outside and black licorice on the inside. I hate black licorice so I just suck on these until the rose flavor disappears. Then I spit them out.

Loc Marie dark chocolate Crepe Dentelles are amazeballs! Dark chocolate covered crispy crepe layers. So damn good! I have to be careful not to eat them all before the hubby can have a few. The Lemon cookies were great. Like shortbread with a lemon filling on top (you know how jam thumbprint cookies have a chewy jam on the top? same thing here only lemon). Carambars are okay. They are rather hard but it suggests to soften them in the microwave. Might have to try that because they're super sticky. LiquiCroc chocolate dragees are ok. The chocolate shell is meh but the salted caramel filling is great!

Fantastic box this month. So delicious! We can't figure out the clue for next month, though. It's a bit of a head-scratcher. I'll be back next month to let you know!