The Monkey Is In.

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I'm a writer of horror and dark fiction. I've been doing this since 1999 and believe me when I say, it's cheaper than therapy and safer for the world at large.

Walmart Beauty Box - Spring 2015

A day after I wrote the inaugural post about doing reviews, my Walmart Beauty Box came in the mail. Talk about timing...

For those of you who may not know, Walmart puts out a beauty box once a quarter. Basically one for each season. It's only $5 and you get 5-7 sample sized beauty items. They range from hair and skin care to makeup. Coupons are usually included, too, just in case you end up falling in love with one of the products. You might even get a full sized item (I got a full sized Covergirl All Day lip color thing in the winter box).

These kinds of subscription boxes are a great way to learn about new products or try ones you've always wanted to buy but were a bit leery of spending full price on something you might end up loathing. From the winter box, I now know that the Dove moisturizing shampoo strips the color out of my hair like CRAZY and Ponds Anti-Wrinkle cream breaks me out like a mo-fo.

Okay. I think I've give you enough set up. Let's get to the box!

(Disclaimer: I purchased this box with my own money. It was not given to me for review and I was not paid anything or given any kind of compensation to review it. I will always let you know how the product(s) got into my grubby little paws and I will always provide my honest opinions. If someone wants to pay me just to spew some positive PR spin on crap products, I won't do it. I may even tell them to shove it.)

This is what it looks like when you open it up. The tissue paper is a nice touch, don't you think?

You can't see a couple of the samples I got in this pic but they're there. This actually felt rather heavy when I first picked it up. And why wouldn't it? There's a lot of shit in here!

Sorry about the light reflection. On the left: Palmer's Cocoa Butter Formula Skin Therapy Oil. One of those multi-tasking skin oils that supposed to help with wrinkles, age spots, etc. I haven't tried it yet but I do like a good face oil. Middle: Burt's Bees Renewal Intensive Firming Serum. There was just enough in here for me to get 2 days use so I can't really say if it works. I think you need to try it for about a month. But it smells good. A little appley but mostly clean and fresh. I got a coupon with it so I may buy the full size. There are several other products in the same line so maybe I'll give them a shot, too! On the right: sample of Lady Gaga's perfume, Black Fluid. Sounds very disgusting but it smells awesome! You get the fruity apricot right off the bat and then it mellows out to vanilla. It says it's honey and saffron but all I smell is vanilla. The sample bottle has a pump spray, too, so no fighting with one of those fucking tighter-than-a-Scotsman's-coinpurse tops where you end up spilling half the product all over your hands.

Nice sized sample/travel bottles of L'Oreal Total Repair 5 shampoo and conditioner. Haven't tried them yet and I won't until after my color has faded a bit. After that Dove disaster...These smell really good, though.

Left: another Palmer's Cocoa Butter Formula in a lotion. Never heard of this brand before. The lotion is VERY thick but it absorbs really well. My hands didn't feel greasy at all. But the smell is POWERFUL. The cocoa butter is like suntan lotion on crack and artificial chocolate. It's a bit much and I'm not sure if I'll be able to keep using it. Right: Caress body wash in Adore Forever scent. Haven't used it but it smells very flowery and perfumey, if that makes sense. Might not end up that way in the shower but I'll let you know.

Overall impression: great box (that's what he said). It's amazing how much use you can get out of travel sized bottles so I'm looking forward to trying out the shampoo and body wash. I'm excited for the face oil and I liked the Burt's Bees serum and Gaga's perfume. There's also a coupon for one of the new Dove dry deodorant sprays so that might be cool, too. I don't know how much each product costs but you can bet your sweet ass there's more than $5 worth of stuff in here.

I, personally, hate shopping at Walmart stores. They're usually dirty, the stock is in utter chaos, and some of the employees are surly and look like they haven't pooped in a month. But the company got this subscription box right. Great stuff for a great value.

Interested in your own beauty box from Walmart? Click HERE to get more info.