The Monkey Is In.

So be prepared. Bring a banana.

I'm a writer of horror and dark fiction. I've been doing this since 1999 and believe me when I say, it's cheaper than therapy and safer for the world at large.

Project Pan Update #1

Since I started working on my Project Pan, I thought it might help me be accountable if I post progress updates. So I'll aim to write something up every 3 months and with that in mind, here's the first update! (technically 3 months would hit on April 19 but I know how my brain works - I'm thinking about it now so I'd better get to writing before something shiny distracts me).

Let's start with a report on what's still in the project and what progress, if any, has been made.

I'm super happy with the Milani lip oil. I've had that thing for a long time and I'm finally down to the last little bit. I figure I've got 2-3 more uses out of it before it's gone.

The Catrice primer is another one I'm proud of. I didn't want to just get to the leveled off product and call it a day. A lot of these kind of stick formulas (lipsticks, blush, anything in solid tube form) is poured INTO the packaging any where from 1/4"-3/4" down. So I'm digging out what I can use until that bitch is empty.

Tarte setting powder. I only put this under my eyes but I'm so happy with how much I've used! I've had this for a looooong time so I'm glad I put it into the project. Though it looks like I've used a ton (which I have), I don't use much each time so I've still got months of work to do.

 

I can't even tell if I've made progress on that NYX blush. I've been using it a lot but it's so fucking pigmented that I can't use much at one time. I'll usually tap into the product once or twice and that's good for both cheeks! Ugh. Does the quilted pattern look lower at all??

The Pixi bronzer has some slight scratch marks in it, from the brush I've been using, but otherwise it looks the same. I don't use a lot at once because I don't want a ton of bronze color on my face because it LOOKS like I've used a lot. Does that make sense? The more I use the more fake it looks and I hate that.

I'm excited about the Tarte powder foundation progress. The Tarte name stamp is definitely fuzzier and the BB in the middle is almost totally gone. You can still see a faint hint of it in the second pic but it's really negligible. 

 

The NYX highlighter is a bit deceptive. I didn't make that first mark for a while after it was in the project because I always had it on its side and didn't stand it up to get a more accurate level. Once I realized I should have done that, I'm not sure where the original level should have been. It's also difficult to tell where the true level is because the product coats the sides. So I'm not sure if that's the real progress I've made but I've definitely made some. I use this highlighter every time I do my makeup and I love it.

The Colourpop gel eyeliner is still going strong. I haven't used it but once or twice and that was just in the last couple of weeks. I used my brown liquid liner instead. But this is just starting to get dry so I need to get on the stick and use it more, especially since I believe CP is discontinuing their gel liners so I can't replace it. *sad trombone*

Looks like I've made some good progress on the CP blush. Though this purple is hard to pull off for every day makeup looks, I can combine it with something else to make it a bit more wearable and less like I got punched in the cheek.

 

Piss poor progress on these but what can you do?

(original 12 1/10 mm; progress 11 8/10 mm) I've discovered the Milani waterproof eyeliner irritates my eyes. I wore it on my tightlines/waterlines one day, washed off my makeup that night, and the next morning my eyes were all crusty and itchy. Okay, not optimal. So I tried it as an eye shadow base and that was much less irritating. Also just lining the upper and lower lash lines (NOT the inner rims) is all right. And this shit doesn't like to budge once it sets so don't fuck up while you're using it. This will take me a loooong time to work through.

(original 8 5/10 mm; progress 8 4/10 mm) I do like the Urban Decay 24/7 formula. Long lasting and doesn't irritate my eyes. I just don't seem to reach for a purple liner all that much.

(original 11 3/10 mm; progress 11 2/10 mm) The NYX Wonderpencil is really nice for the water line but my eyes are so watery that this stuff wears away within a few minutes. It's supposed to be good for spot concealing, too, so I might start using it for that instead.

(original 2 1/10 mm; progress 2mm) The NYX eye brow pencil is really nice. I could have sworn I used more than this but to be fair, I don't use a heavy hand. My brows are sparse and I don't want it to look like I've drawn them in with a crayon, which is what I basically do but I don't want it to look like that.

I'm not commenting on the Elf Shadow Stick, the Tarte Shape Tape, ELF cream shadow base, the shadow primers, the brow gels, or the A'Pieu cream blush for a few reasons. 1. I haven't used the ELF stick AT ALL and only used the cream base once or twice. 2. I don't use the Shape Tape much and it's hard to see inside the packaging for progress. 3. The blusher, the brow gels, and the shadow primers are in thick or dark packaging and I can't see inside to measure progress. I'll just let you know when they're gone.

 

Now on to the stuff I've used up (or it dried out)!

The ELF powder was nearly empty when I started to that's not really fair but I'm counting it, dammit! The Honey Cera eye cream and the No Poreblem primer were both nice but I'm glad I've used them up. I might repurchase the Honey Cera but I've got more creams to work through first.

Both the Colourpop gel liner and the Seraphine liquid liner were dried up. I've noticed the darker CP gel liners dry up really really fast. The Seraphine pen was a major disappointment. I only got a few uses out of that before it became unusable. LAAAAAME.

I loved both the Medusa's Makeup and Essence mascaras. Both are more on the natural looking side but they both lengthen and separate lashes beautifully. And the Witch Lash helps make transferring mascaras NOT DO THAT. Unexpected bonus!

 

I added in a couple products as I used up others.

I took out The Ordinary foundation because it does make my skin look dry and in the winter, that's just something I don't need. I hope to bring it back for the summer. Instead, I put my 2B CC Cream into the rotation. I love this stuff and don't know why nobody talks about it. It's a very neutral base color so even though there are only 2-3 shades, this light one works for me. It might be a titch dark but not so much I can't work with it. Makes my skin look even with a nice dewy touch. I've only ever seen it on-line at Ulta.

The Secret Key eye cream is replacing the Honey Cera one. Though this is a nice formula, it's almost a little too thick to use under my concealer. So I haven't really been using it much though the tube feels nearly empty. I might just have to use it after I wash my face and let it soak in for a while before doing makeup.

Tarte's Lights, Camera, Lashes is my favorite mascara from this brand. I only buy it when it's on sale (usually for about $10 because it runs $23 normally which is ridiculous). So I threw this in when I finished up the Medusa's Makeup one. Love it.

NYX Jumbo Pencil in Milk. So many people love this and I know why. I just keep forgetting to use it! It's a great base for eye shadows you want to look brighter or more pigmented (I refuse to use the phrase "make shadows POP" because everyone and their fucking grandmother says that on YouTube). Hopefully putting it in the project will remind me to work with it more often!

 

All right. That covers this first quarterly update on my Project Pan Progress. Hopefully I'll have better numbers next time!

PROJECT PAN - aka My Attempt to Actually Use Up Some of the Shit I Buy

I've seen quite a few videos on ye olde YouTubery about something called "Project Pan". Basically it's a conscious effort to use up a certain amount of makeup/skin care/hair care/etc. over the course of a year. 

In make-up lingo, when you've used enough of a product, say a blush for example, that you can see the metal pan at the bottom, it's called 'hitting pan'. Hence, Project Pan is to reach that goal - to see that little circle of tin shining through. Then to work on those few grams of product as much as possible until you've finished it.

Make sense?

This also applies to things that don't have pans - eyeliners, lipsticks, hairspray. You're just using a product until it's all gone. 

The reason to do this, for a lot of us, may be to help curb the urge to go out and buy our 37th lip gloss or 23rd gel eyeliner or 17th tube of mascara until we finish up what we've already purchased. It shows us what greedy little whores we've been this past year (or 5) and maybe we should just calm our shit down already. (Obviously I'm not talking about makeup sent as a PR shipments or a launch or some other instance where people are given products to try, which I don't get, obvi)

So I went through my stuff and pulled out things that I've already hit pan on, are close to doing so, or products that I've had a while but keep shoving to the back of the drawer because they've been replaced by the latest new shiny object.

I don't know how this will go. I'm not the most disciplined person on the planet, I'm lazy as fuck, and I'm in constant need for variety (I blame being a Gemini). But it certainly doesn't hurt to try so I'm thinking I'll do update posts ever 3-4 months, assuming I remember to take pics of my PP products BEFORE, AFTER, and DURING this whole process.

But let's break down what I've got and what I'm hoping to achieve in 2018.

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I wanted to post the lip stuff image first because at this point, there's no real plan to use up any of these. With my Invisalign trays, even products that DON'T normally get all over my teeth DO get all over my trays. So I've pulled aside my lightest colored lip products (except that Dose of Colors liquid lip because that shit dries before you can say Monkey Wanna Banana and doesn't get all over) and will try to use those as often as possible. This pile has lip liners, lip sticks, and lip glosses. I will keep these on top of my vanity as a reminder to use them. (UPDATE: I've already discovered that the Tarte lipstick and my Colourpop lippie stick in Choker get all over my trays so those are going back in the drawer. Ugh. I may be resigned to colorless gloss for the next few months if this continues.)

I've not included eye shadows in this project because I have a good collection of palettes and singles and I know damn well I'll never use any of them up so LET ME HAVE THEM, DAMMIT! DON'T JUDGE ME!

I gathered all these products a couple of weeks ago and just within the last two days, three of them have dried out too much to be usable. They included a Colourpop gel liner, Essence Mascara, and Seraphine liquid eyeliner.

The rest of my products, with more detailed pics, include:

Eyeliners

I forgot to take a picture of the full packaging of the double ended Elf eye shadow/eyeliner stick (the thick dark grey pencil below). But while trying to measure out the eyeliner end, I dropped it and it broke. I also had a dark brown Milani retractable eyeliner and while measuring the amount in that one, it refused to roll back down into the tube and mushed off. So those can be marked off the list! It's a cheat but whatevs.

I love the Elf cream eye shadow. I haven't used it much but I don't think there was a lot of product to begin with. It's a great base for under similar toned shadows but it looks really nice on it's own, too. The Colourpop eyeliner looks dry but it's not. I don't know how this has stayed so creamy when the black and green ones, which I bought later, are already dried up and gone.

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Mascara/Liquid Eyeliner

 I originally had an orange tube of mascara from Essence in the pile (you can see it in that first pic) but it started getting clumpy and dry in the past day or so. So I pitched it and replaced it with the Medusa's Makeup Witch Lash you see above. The Kat Von D liner might only have a few more uses - I've had it so long I can't believe it didn't dry out sooner! 

I originally had an orange tube of mascara from Essence in the pile (you can see it in that first pic) but it started getting clumpy and dry in the past day or so. So I pitched it and replaced it with the Medusa's Makeup Witch Lash you see above. The Kat Von D liner might only have a few more uses - I've had it so long I can't believe it didn't dry out sooner! 

Eye Primers

 Because of the style of packaging, it's hard to measure how much is in each tube. But I'm pretty sure at least half is gone from the Elizabeth Mott one (thank gods because it SUCKS) and I've had both of these for a very long time. I need to use them up!

Because of the style of packaging, it's hard to measure how much is in each tube. But I'm pretty sure at least half is gone from the Elizabeth Mott one (thank gods because it SUCKS) and I've had both of these for a very long time. I need to use them up!

Eye Brow Gels/Liner

 The L'Oreal brow plumper is so old but still going strong (had it before I went Cruelty Free). The Coloupop brow boss gel is weird and I don't think it does much so I just wanna use it up. I also forgot to take a full pic of the eyebrow pencil from J Cat Beauty. FYI, it's actually really nice.

The L'Oreal brow plumper is so old but still going strong (had it before I went Cruelty Free). The Coloupop brow boss gel is weird and I don't think it does much so I just wanna use it up. I also forgot to take a full pic of the eyebrow pencil from J Cat Beauty. FYI, it's actually really nice.

Concealer

 Because this product is so thick it's hard to see how much is actually in the bottle. It also turns out that, though I loved this when I first got it, it looks way too dry now under my eyes. So I'm going to try and use it as an eye primer.

Because this product is so thick it's hard to see how much is actually in the bottle. It also turns out that, though I loved this when I first got it, it looks way too dry now under my eyes. So I'm going to try and use it as an eye primer.

Liquid Higlighter

 I doubt I'll finish this as I only need a teeny amount each time I use it. It's also very thick so I can't measure how full the bottle is or how much I will work through.

I doubt I'll finish this as I only need a teeny amount each time I use it. It's also very thick so I can't measure how full the bottle is or how much I will work through.

Lip Oil

 You can see I've worked through 3/4 of this already so I hope I finish it soon! It's from Milani and it's either the Rose or Raspberry scent.

You can see I've worked through 3/4 of this already so I hope I finish it soon! It's from Milani and it's either the Rose or Raspberry scent.

Face Powders

I got that small Tarte setting powder a few years ago. I've made some progress but it's been in my drawer for so long, I really gotta use it up. The compact is their powder foundation. It's a good color for winter because it's super light - it actually does look weird on me in the summer. So I'll use it as much as possible over the next few months. I'd like to at least wear off that stamped logo/name!

The Elf powder is almost a cheat here. But those little bits on the edges are completely usable and a brush can get in there really well.

Bronzer

 This is from Pixi. I don't use bronzer that much and when I do, I don't put on a lot. But it doesn't even look like I've made a dent in it! Ggrrrr.

This is from Pixi. I don't use bronzer that much and when I do, I don't put on a lot. But it doesn't even look like I've made a dent in it! Ggrrrr.

Eye creams

 I don't know why the cream blush is in the picture but okay...I've had the other tubes for a while and I'm pretty sure they're almost empty. The little one for sure. I use these right before concealer which helps immensely with application.   The blush I've had for YEARS, I believe I got it in a 3B subscription. I'm loath to use it up because I have nothing else like it and I don't know if I can find this anywhere.

I don't know why the cream blush is in the picture but okay...I've had the other tubes for a while and I'm pretty sure they're almost empty. The little one for sure. I use these right before concealer which helps immensely with application. 

The blush I've had for YEARS, I believe I got it in a 3B subscription. I'm loath to use it up because I have nothing else like it and I don't know if I can find this anywhere.

Blushes

The deep red blush is from NYX. Again, I've had this for a long time but it's super pigmented. I barely need to tap by brush on it to get enough color. So I have no illusions that I'll hit pan any time soon. But I need to use it more since it is a perfect color for the winter time. I'd like to make some kind of dent in the quilted pattern at least!

The purple blush is from Colourpop, one of my first purchases. It looks a little ratchet but believe me, it works just fine. I hit pan a while ago but I haven't been using it consistently. That's about to change!

Foundation

 I honestly don't know if that line is exactly where the level of the remaining product is. It's hard to tell but it should be close. Though this formula is a bit drying, it's a decent match for me now. It can look a little yellow but I'm working with it. If I need a foundation that I know will last really well, I won't use this (Tarte Rainforest of the Sea is best for me) but it will stay on for a few hours and that's good enough for errands or lunch or something quick.

I honestly don't know if that line is exactly where the level of the remaining product is. It's hard to tell but it should be close. Though this formula is a bit drying, it's a decent match for me now. It can look a little yellow but I'm working with it. If I need a foundation that I know will last really well, I won't use this (Tarte Rainforest of the Sea is best for me) but it will stay on for a few hours and that's good enough for errands or lunch or something quick.

Face Primers

The Touch in Sol No Poreblem (terrrrrrible pun) primer is almost gone. I do enjoy it but it's nothing special. The Catrice Prime and Fine is SO close to the end. It won't be long now! 

Perfumes

 I have a ton of samples that I finally cleaned out because all I could really smell was alcohol. I thought I'd try to put more of the keepers in rotation. I might switch these out after a few weeks but right now they are (L to R):  Merchant of Gallifrey roll-on in the scent Bad Wolf (lightly scented with Mango and Rose); a sample of L'Homme by YSL (it's a fresh boy smell, that's all I can say); Lavanila Labs (best.vanilla.scent.ever.); a sample from ZOMG Smells called Lola's New Dress (vanilla and clove)

I have a ton of samples that I finally cleaned out because all I could really smell was alcohol. I thought I'd try to put more of the keepers in rotation. I might switch these out after a few weeks but right now they are (L to R):

Merchant of Gallifrey roll-on in the scent Bad Wolf (lightly scented with Mango and Rose); a sample of L'Homme by YSL (it's a fresh boy smell, that's all I can say); Lavanila Labs (best.vanilla.scent.ever.); a sample from ZOMG Smells called Lola's New Dress (vanilla and clove)

Holy hell. I may have bit off more than I can chew on my first go around but I'm hopeful that I'll make some kind of dent in my collection this year. At least I'll pay closer attention to the things I have and, even if I don't use them up, discover what I really enjoy the most. Wish me luck, people!