Morgue Drawer February 2017

Holy crap I've got a lot of garbage...I mean, empties to go through. I got a new box (heh...dirty) to store them in and it's a lot bigger than the last one. So let's just get started.

I'm Ready for my Closeup

These piles include all my face masks, serums, or anything related to skin care.

Purpletale 5-Step mask: Really nice. The mask came in two pieces so it fit better than most one piece sheet masks. The whole pack includes cleanser, moisturizer, serum, and mask. I thought I'd wake up greasy but I didn't. Very nice little kit. (?)

Tosowoong Refresh masks: I can't remember what the pink one is but the blue was Sea Cucumber. Smelled super fresh and felt great. Very moisturizing. (CF - I think)

Tosowoong Rice Paper pack: This was kind of a DIY mask. You fill a shallow tray with the serum/essence and put the dried sheet in it for 5 minutes. Comes out pliable like jello/jelly. Doesn't stay wet and drippy and there was really no remaining serum to pat into the skin. Probably won't buy again. (CF)

Wish Formula honey fermented mask: Very dry on my forehead and dripping off my chin. The mask itself was super soft. My skin felt like the serum was equally distributed despite the mask feeling dry in some parts. Maybe it absorbed into the skin? It was okay. (CF)

Leaders Anti-pollution Mask: Fit terribly! The serum on it was great but since the mask's fit was so bad it didn't get onto all areas of my face. Too bad. (NCF)

Body Shop Ethiopian honey mask: Not a sheet mask - just straight up jelly to spread on the skin. Felt fantastic. But it never dried down so it was difficult to remove without a washcloth. Couldn't tell if it improved the feel of my skin, though. (CF)

Nan Well Aloe Collagen mask: The mask itself was the softest nicest mask yet. Very moisturizing serum. I think this has been my favorite so far of all the masks I've used. (?)

Ultrue I'm Sorry For My Skin (various): I love the jelly serums on these masks. Not sure if they all perform differently or not but they feel great and my skin loves them. The mask does dry out right above my lip, though. That's kind of irritating. (CF)

It's Skin Todak Todak Pack: I thought this would be jelly but it was like a clay mask, very similar to my Freeman's Strawberry and Chocolate. Felt great! (?)

Bon Vivant Masks (various): The olive/collagen and rose ones are nice, though they dry out on various spots on my face. The lime one was awful. My skin got very irritated and my cheeks were red the next day. (?)

MasquerAide Weather Warrior mask: It was...okay. (? - their WashBeautyCo is CF but can't find any info on MasquerAide itself)

Mario Badescu facial spray: I love this stuff and I've talked about it before. Unfortunately, it seems Mario is now selling in China where they require animal testing on imported goods. *sad trombone* (NCF)

Etude House Pink Vital Water and Age Defense Essential Softener: Both are very thin moisturizers. I wouldn't use them on their own but they're a nice addition if you need just a little extra moisture. (CF but sell in China)

V10+ Serums (various): I couldn't tell if these did anything and I got about a week's worth of use from each packet. They all felt like water or thinned down aloe gel. Didn't irritate my skin so that's good, I guess. (?)

Soft, Smooth, and...Stink Free?

Secret Outlast deodorant: I don't know why I put this in with the moisturizers...eesh. I've used this brand for years but for some reason, it doesn't seem to work that well anymore. I've switched up to a new brand so I'll let you know how that works. (NCF)

Burt's Bees Intense Hydration Night Cream: Meh. Very very thin formula so it didn't feel like it did that much heavy duty moisturizing, which is what a night cream is supposed to do. Also BB will be selling in China so they can no longer be considered cruelty free. (NCF)

Dead Sea Premier body butter: I got accosted by one of those mall kiosk people and ended up with 3 tubs of this and 3 tubs of a body salt scrub. While the smell on this body butter IS AMAZING, and it does moisturize well, it's not worth the $$$ I got swindled into paying for it. (CF)

Alba Hawaiian lip balm: Good balm, didn't wear off too quickly or dry my lips. But the pineapple scent was just too overpowering. (CF)

Dessert Essence lip rescue: Meh. Little drying. (CF)

Purlisse lip nourisher: This was okay. Similar texture to Malin & Goetz but not as thick or long lasting. (CF)

Malin & Goetz Mojito lip balm: I got this AGES ago in an Ipsy bag, I think. I kept it on my nightstand but didn't use it every night so that's why it too so long to use up. It felt like the never ending tube! Product is fantastic. Thick clear balm, stays on all night (yes, all night), and smells like lime! Would definitely repurchase. (CF)

Yu-be skin cream: This is really only good for the feet. The menthol scent is super strong and I couldn't handle it on my hands. BUT...if you have sore feet, rub this stuff on them. Awesome. (CF)

My Makeup...MY MAKEUP!

NYX Makeup Remover: This stuff was pretty awesome. Left a little film but that doesn't bother me. The super small size does, though. There are other things I want to try so now that I've used these up on moving on to bigger and better (I hope). (CF)

ELF Cleansing Cloths: I just use these to clean off swatches. Don't like them for my face or eyes but for $3 a pack, I don't feel like I'm wasting money. (CF)

Sweet Libertine Mineral Veil: I found this company on Etsy. I don't think they exist anymore (I got this years ago) but this stuff is gorgeous. Adds a soft glow to the face/body without glitter. (As in indy company, I'd guess they were/are CF)

Too Cool for School Lip Balm: Not sure if this is a balm per se but that's how I used it. It was a soft pink/peach color that was perfect for just adding a little color and shine. Unfortunately, it was pretty drying on the lips and I never made it through the whole pot before it dried out. (?)

Pur Cosmetics Volume Vixen mascara: Rather thick and gloppy formula and smelled terrible! Didn't so much volumize as get all over my eye lids to make it LOOK like the base of my lashes were thick. Lame. (CF)

The Leftovers

Tom's of Main Toothpaste: I normally use the sensitive kind but had some whitening stuff I needed to use up. I've loved every kind of tried from this brand and will continue to use the sensitive. It's the only one that doesn't destroy the inside of my mouth. (CF)

Hask Strengthening shampoo: I don't think this strengthened anything but it's a decent shampoo. You know, it cleaned my hair. (CF)

Soap & Glory Rich and Foamous body wash: Love this stuff. Smells like oatmeal cookies. By the time I got to almost the end of the bottle, the product had thinned out and I needed to use 10 pumps to get it to foam up. So probably won't get it again. Maybe. (CF)

Spring Valley Tea Tree oil: I love using this for spot treating zits or problem spots on my face. Doesn't really matter what brand it is. Unfortunately, I think this one expired (the date rubbed off) and it really fucked up my face for over a week. Gotta be more careful next time. (?)

Tarte Deep Dive gel cleanser: Holy balls this stuff is awesome. My skin felt amazing, almost like I used one of those gel peel products (you know, you rub it all over your face until the dead skin balls up and you rinse it off). This is pricey, though, so not sure if I'll bite the bullet and order a full size. (CF)

I'm exhausted. That'll do for now!

Universal Yums February 2017 Review

For those who may not know, Universal Yums is a monthly subscription service. For $13 (or $25) you get a box full of candy and snacks from a different country. Check them out here: UY.

I pay for this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones.

This month's box comes from ITALY! Here's some trivia for you (answer at the end of the post):

When McDonald's first opened in Italy in 1986, what did some Italians do in protest? A.Give away free spaghetti outside the restaurant to remind patrons of Italy's culinary heritage; B.Buy Big Macs just to dramatically throw them away in front of TV cameras; C.Sneakily fill ketchup dispensers with marinara sauce; D.Form a human blockade so that no would-be patrons could enter.

Amica Lemon Chips: Sounds weird but these were delicious! A little like vinegar chips but not that tangy/sour. Just a hint of lemon and salt. Perfect with a sandwich.

Laurieri Orange Froletti Cookies: These were all right. Tasted like average shortbread cookies with a hint of orange.

Cabrioni Wafers alla Nocciola: Hazelnut chocolate is very popular in Italy and these wafer cookies were filled with it. So good but not super sugary and sweet. Pretty perfect, actually.

Cantuccini (Biscotti): I love biscotti and these teeny little cookie were...okay. I know how biscotti are made and how hard they are but even these tasted kind of stale. Coffee helped a little.

Gran Art Rosemary Stuzzichina Toscana: Basically baked rosemary crackers. I'm not a fan of rosemary but these were NOT overpowering at all. Very mild but still tasty.

Monardo Gianduiotto Chocolates: MOTHER OF GOD THIS IS THE BEST CHOCOLATE I'VE EVER HAD IN MY LIFE. Fuck Belgium and Switzerland. They've got NOTHING on these. Smooth rich chocolate with a hint of hazelnut. The only way you know these are authentic is because of the gold wrapper. GO GET YOU SOME IF YOU CAN.

Anise Candy: Nice little hard candies with a smooth anise flavor. I'm not an anise fan so I was worried. They were great, though. Also aid in digestion, apparently.

Monardo Chocolate Pralines: We got the hazelnut and cereal (puffed rice) and milk and cereal flavors. Smooth and creamy - great flavor. Very sweet!

Awesome food in this month's box. The clue for next month makes us think it'll be someplace in the Middle East but can't be sure yet.

TRIVIA ANSWER: A. A group of Italians cooked spaghetti to a perfect al dente then served it to would-be patrons. Many Romans were outraged by the restaurant in 1986, calling it a 'degradation of Rome' and 'Americanization' of Italian cuisine. For this reason, Starbucks hasn't opened a single shop in Italy yet, though plans are in place to launch their first store in Milan this year. (Yeah, good luck with that, Starsucks)

Ipsy February 2017 Review

For those who don't know, Ipsy is a monthly subscription service. For $10 you get 4-5 sample (sometimes full) sized beauty, skin, and hair care products. Check them out here: IPSY

I pay for this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones.

This month's COMPLETELY USELESS theme is #ipsymuchlove or something. WHO CARES? The bag feels like denim, which I loathe, and the orange trim just makes me want to gag. That said, however, I like what's inside!

Luxie Beauty Rose Gold Blush Brush 514: I love brushes. The more you have the less often you have to wash them...lazy, I know. This brush is soft and fluffy so it would be great for those super pigmented blushes that go on crazy from one tap of the pan. Full size and worth $18. (CF and vegan)

The Organic Pharmacy Lip & Eye Cream: Never mad at an eye cream, especially one that doubles as moisture/care for the lips, too. Not sure I want to put that kind of multitasker on my mouth but I'm willing to try. Especially since it's formulated by homeopathic doctors so it SHOULDN'T be a risk to ingest it, right?? Dubious Peggy is dubious. Apparently this 10ml tube is full size and goes for $48. (CF)

MOR Rosa Noir Hand & Body Milk: While I'm not so sure this lotion is all that great (put some on and a couple hours later my hands were dry and flaky - and I hadn't washed them at all), the scent is intoxicating! Rose, hibiscus, and fig. It smells good enough to eat and/or wear as a perfume. They suggest slathering this on the hands and putting cotton gloves on overnight so I might try that to see how it works. 17 ounce full size is $36 so this 1 ounce sample is around $2. (CF but may sell in China)

Elizabeth Mott Whatup Beaches Matte Bronzer: I don't bronze all that often. If it's the middle of winter or my foundation is a bit too pale, sure, I'll throw some on. And the color on this is perfect - neutral and matte. HOWEVER, the sample size just fits an eye shadow brush so I won't be using this as a bronzer. It's a great eye shadow, though. 8g is $25 so this .07g sample is probably just under $3. (CF)

NYX Butter Lipstick in Lifeguard: NYX is one of my favorite makeup brands. And these lipsticks are beautiful, creamy, and comfortable. Though the tube itself made me think this would be a brown shade, it's a nice deep red that is absolutely gorgeous! Not that I don't already have enough red lippies....THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS TOO MANY REDS!! Full size - $6 but they're having a 40% off sale now! (CF)

Holy crap this bag is worth about $77. Pretty awesome!

NEW! Lipp Beautifully January 2017 Review

Yes, yes, yes. I'm becoming a subscription whore. But I'm already a lipstick whore so this service is perfect for me.

Lipp Beautifully is a monthly subscription service. For $5.95 a month you get four lipstick samples, four sponge applicators, and a coupon code for discounts you can use at the LB website (except for the Limited Edition shades, which I discovered when I tried to use my code - so sad...). All their products are made in the USA and are cruelty free (yay - I'm not sad anymore!). Check them out here: LIPP BEAUTIFULLY

I pay for this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones.

The four samples come in a simple, small padded envelope with a cute little card describing their LE sample shade month. On the back is a discount code but I'm not sure I can share it (I'll find out). The samples come in little clam shell pods and you might not think there's much there but I'll get 4-6 uses for each. At least. I'm not the type that reapplies worn off product all the time. They smell like a fruity/candy lip balm, too. Not super strong so if you're sensitive to smells, these probably won't bother you. 

The sponge tip applicators ARE SO MUCH FUCKING BETTER THAN THOSE LAME ASS CHEAP LIP BRUSHES. Makes it super easy to apply lipstick. I'm kind of an uncoordinated clod so anything that makes me look like I know what I'm doing and NOT having a stroke in the middle of application is a win in my book. Also each shade actually stains the lips so even when the product wears off (not for hours, btw) there's a stain left behind. Throw some lip balm over it and you're good to go!

They sell regular lipsticks ($20), limited editions ($10), and lip scrub ($12). So if you find something you like one month, you can go purchase a full size.

I don't know if each month will include the exact same styles (Trend, Everyday, cream finish, etc.) but stick with me and we'll find out together. For now, here are swatches of the samples I received for January.

Adolescent was a bit too neon for me. It's gorgeous but just not my thing. Plus one little part of my lower lip, that was pretty dry and scaly, was stained hot pink for 2 DAYS!

Danger was the first I tried and I thought for sure I was going to hate it. I actually dig it! I'm not one for orange lipsticks. Even orange based reds look terrible but I really like this one.

Texture is a beautiful dusty rose (I fucking hate that phrase but that's exactly what this color is). And they're right. It's perfect for every day.

Paris, naturally, is my favorite. A gorgeous classic red. You just can't go wrong with this. It is limited so if you like it too, get to their website and order. It won't be around forever.

For $6, I'm pretty pleased with this service. Maybe that will change as the months go on but for now, I'm happy I signed up! A friend of mine commented on Facebook that this might be a good service for her daughters. And I can't agree more! Anyone who's just getting into makeup would probably enjoy this subscription.

3B January 2017 Review

The first bag from 3B this year looks pretty boss! It's all about the skin care for January. For those who don't know, 3B is a monthly subscription service. For $15 a month (I'm grandfathered in at $12 for another year, I think) you get 4-5 sample and full sized Asian beauty, skin, and hair products. Check them out here: 3B

I pay for this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones.

Also keep in mind that Asian beauty products are a little more elusive with info on Cruelty Free status. There's a lot of conflicting info but if I can find any I'll post it.

Holy cow I got 6 products this month and it's all masks. Score!

23.5N Rice Soothing Gel Mask (the little pot on the left): I'm excited about this because it's supposed to sooth irritated skin. And my face freaked out a few weeks ago from what I think was expired tea tree oil. It's been a little (read: fucking hard core) sensitive since. And I can get 6 uses out of this pot. Sweet. Travel size: $6 (Taiwan -CF)

WEI Beauty Golden Root Purifying Mud Mask (the other little pot that says WEI on it): I love me some mud masks! I'm a little scared of this because I think the WEI product I got last month re-irritated my skin after it recovered from the tea tree oil incident. So I really don't want to use this. We'll see... $42 for 8 pods. One pod: $5 (China -CF)

Hada Labo Anti-Aging Face Mask: I've used this brand's face lotions before with mixed results but since I'm addicted to sheet masks, I'm sure I'll use this. Full size: $4 (Japan -CF)

For Beloved Girl Extreme Moisture Sheet Mask: This one's description looks like it's extra good for dry skin and provides a ton of moisture. Anyone who lives in the Midwest in winter knows moisture is a rare thing until April. Full size: $3 (Taiwan -?)

SkinRX Madecera Express Sheet Mask: This mask has become popular because it uses a naturally fermented form of ceramide which helps the skin absorb products. This mask is also soothing so again, I'm excited to try it. Full size: $6 (Korea -CF)

Maskeraide Weather Warrior Sheet Mask: Who wouldn't want to put a warrior on their face? Wait... Brightening and moisturizing properties - I'm in. Full size: $7 (Korea -CF)

A total value of $31 this month. Not bad for all the products being face masks, which in general, are pretty cheap. Whoop!

Universal Yums January 2017 Review

The first box of 2017 arrived about a week ago. Seemed earlier than what we've been usually getting so I'm not mad about it! For those who may not know, Universal Yums is a monthly subscription service. For $14 (or $25) every month you will receive a box of candy and snacks from a different country. Check them out here: UNIVERSAL YUMS

I pay for this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones.

January brings us Ukraine. Here's some trivia for you (answer at the bottom of the post):

What political part actually exists in Ukraine? A.The Red Party; B.The Birthday Party; C.The American Party; D.The Internet Party

That big card in the lower left is new this month. It's basically a rating sheet on the left for each food item. There are also a couple of little games on the right side. Yes, I finished the puzzle to get a hint for next month! Anyway, let's get into the food. I've decided that I need to try each item before posting here. That way you can get a better idea of what each treat tastes like!

Who Said Muuu?: A sectioned wafer bar with a sweet creamy milk filling. Waaaaay too overpowering flavor of milk in this. I just ate one little section and put the rest back. 

Macho Forest Mushroom Chips: Mostly yum. Taste like good potato chips with just a hint of mushroom flavor. Unfortunately, there's a weird lingering aftertaste that needs to be washed out with candy or alcohol. I guess that's not such a bad thing after all.

Oreiro Apricot & Cream Bon Bons: OMG these are the best things in the whole box. More wafer outside with a creamy filling (but these are just individual pieces instead of a bar that's got notches in it. Does that make sense? I think I'll need to start taking pics of the actual food...). Anyway, the filling is absolutely delicious. More delicate than orange or citrus, the apricot flavor is wonderful.

Roshen Creme Brulee Chocolate Bar: This isn't just plain chocolate, which would have been delicious all by itself. This candy is filled with a soft gooey caramel. Messy but awesome.

Red Caviar Bread Snacks: Remember the little hard crunchy bits from the Russia box (Korochki, I believe they were called)? This is the same style treat but caviar flavored. Very very very VERY salty and fishy tasting. Ugh.

Crazy Bee Candies: Soft gummy chews with a liquid center (think Gushers but softer). We got the lemon-lime flavor. It was great!

Svitoch Chervonyi Mak Candy: This is supposed to be a chocolate lovers ultimate fix. Um...no. Kind of a dry texture, gritty, and a bitter after taste. Me no like.

Glass of Milk caramels: Very good. Soft texture but not sticky. The delicate milk flavor is so much better than the overpowering milk filling on that first snack.

Fizzy Boom Hard Candies: Think Zots but with better flavor. The candy itself is nice and fruity and the fizz adds a little sour surprise when you get to it. 

Overall I enjoyed this box with just a few exceptions. Based on the monthly clue on the back of the pamphlet, we think the next country will be Italy! Maybe that LEMON hint means we'll get something Limoncello flavored??

TRIVIA ANSWER: D. The Internet Party in Ukraine wants to create an electronic government that exists without bureaucracy (and paperwork).

Ipsy January 2017 Review

As far as this subscription goes, 2017 is not off to bang up start. Yes, first world problems, I know. For those who are new here, Ipsy is a monthly subscription service. For $10 each month, you'll receive 4-5 sample sized (sometimes full) makeup, beauty, and skin care products. Check them out here: IPSY

I pay for this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones.

The theme for this month is Metropolis or some ridiculous bullshit. Whatever. The bag is...odd. I'm not sure how I feel about it yet. It's a soft plastic with a grey satin finish. The holed outer sheath over a solid bag is rather interesting. Definitely the most unique one so far. The products themselves are okay.

Crown Brush Beaute Basics C405 Contour Blush Brush: Whew, that's a mouthful. I love Crown Brushes. Super soft, the handle is ergonomically designed, and it's cruelty free. I don't contour but this works great as a blush/bronzer brush for me. Full size this goes for $7.50. If you need brushes but don't want to spend a shit ton of money, I recommend this brand! (CF)

Temptu Base Smooth & Matte Primer: Again with the airbrush products. Granted, you can use their stuff without one but the design of the bottle makes it a little more difficult. I'm not sure how this one works yet so I'm excited to find out. Full size is $35 for 1 ounce so this 1/4 ounce sample is approximately $8.75. (Site claims CF status but they sell to China).

Clarisea Instant Glow Lavendar Powder Exfoliant: I don't know about you guys but I really don't want to put a SALT scrub on my face. I've used sugar ones before, mixed with honey and oil, but that's as rough as I like to get on my face (wow...dirty). So I don't imagine I will be using this at all. Plus the top is cracked and the safety seal came off in the top like it had already separated from the jar. Um...no. Full size at 5 ounces is $14. This 1 ounce sample goes for $2.80. (CF)

TheBalm Bahama Mama Bronzer/Shadow/Contour Powder: I've always wanted to try this product because the beauty community on YouTube goes APE SHIT for it. I do love the brand so I was double excited to get this. Unfortunately as you can see from the swatch, this basically looks like a mustard based poop stain on my skin. Ick. It does blend out nicely so it's not terrible but I don't think I'll be turning to this for bronzing again. I don't contour so maybe I'll try is as an eye shadow. Full size (7 grams) goes for $20 so this .5 gram should be somewhere around $1.50. (CF)

Manna Kadar Cosmetics 3-in-1 Fantasy Eye Shadow: Apparently this can work as an eye shadow, blush, or highlighter (hence the 3-in-1 claim). The swatch doesn't do it justice. It looks like a champagne light tan gold but if you turn a little it definitely had a rose gold vibe to it. It's pretty pigmented and soft. It comes in one shade that's supposed to be good for all skin tones. Full size is $19 but can't find any pan amounts. I did find the travel size on Amazon, which is the same as what I've got, so it's worth $7. (CF)

This whole bag is about $27.50. Not a super value, Ipsy. I really only like the Crown brush and the Manna Kadar shadow. *le sigh* Perhaps February will be better. 

Universal Yums December 2016

Already 2017, huh? Well let's hang on to that bitch 2016 for just a moment longer, shall we? December brought us a little taste of Germany from Universal Yums. In case you don't know, UY is a monthly subscription service. For $13 (or $25) each month you'll get snacks and candy from a different country. It's actually a lot of fun! Check them out here: UNIVERSAL YUMS

I pay for this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones.

TRIVIA: In Germany, you're not breaking the law if you: A.Refuse to pay taxes; B.Escape from jail; C.Drink and drive; D.Smoke in a public place (answer at the end of the post)

Lorenz Curly Peanuts: These aren't actual peanuts. It's another one of those puffy corn snacks but they taste like straight up fresh peanuts. I have no idea how these countries can make corn taste so much like other stuff but it amazes me every time. Very tasty!

Leibniz Butterkeks: These are supposed to be shortbread cookies and they look pretty dang delicious. 

Sallos Black Licorice Candy with Herbs: I LOATHE black licorice. But the little card assures me that with the addition of herbs into this little candy, the black licorice flavor is muted and quite pleasant. Personally I don't believe them but I'm willing to give it a shot. Someday. Maybe.

Milka Oreo Chocolate Bar: This treat will be here in the US this month but it's already out in Germany. Not sure how to feel about this so I haven't tried it yet. It's basically Oreo filling with cookie bits inside covered in chocolate. I suppose for those whose favorite part of an Oreo is the filling will enjoy these most.

Dr. Quendt Russich Brot: I was excited for these alphabet cookies but I have to say I'm a bit disappointed. They basically taste like fortune cookies with a little bit of caramel flavored icing on top. Kinda lame actually.

Schluckwerder Marzipan: I've never tried marzipan before so I was most excited for this. Many people say it's the same as basic almond paste but I think marzipan is A LOT sweeter. I personally loved this. The thin chocolate coating didn't really add anything to the awesome almond flavor of this little candy. I need more of this in my life!

Ahoj-Brause Cola Bonbons: Not sure why these are called bon bons as they're just hard candy. But I swear to gods they taste just like cola! There's a fizzy center which is supposed to be like the carbonation but it's not that great. Zots do it better. But the flavor is awesome!

BONUS: Riegelein Chocolate Santa: Great smooth milk chocolate candy. Apparently Riegelein is famous in Europe for its chocolate and I can taste why!

Very nice way to end 2016. According to the clue, we think January's box will be Russia!

TRIVIA: B. Escaping from jail isn't considered a crime in Germany as Germans consider it a basic human instinct to want to be free. (is it me or is that little ironic?)

3B December 2016 Review

I realized I missed a month somewhere in 2016 so instead of killing my brain trying to figure out which one, we're just gonna call this December and be done with it!

For those who don't know, 3B is a beauty subscription service. For $13 (old price) a month you get 4-5 sample and full sized beauty, hair, and skin products. Check them out here: 3B

I pay for this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones.

Manyo Factory Herb Green cleansing oil: I love cleansing oils. I'm not sure why but I do. If you have oily skin don't be afraid to use these! They're great for removing face makeup. This one not so much on the eye makeup though. It is an extra step so you'll have to wash with your regular cleanser afterwards. The smell on this is super intense (oils include: tea tree, sage, rosemary, lavender, and green tea) so if you're sensitive to scents, you might wanna skip this one. Full size is $30 so I imagine this sample is around $10. (Korea - CF)

V10 Plus skin perfecting serum (all those colorful little packets): We got 5 different types of serums to try (they make 11 all together) and since you only need a couple drops each use, these will take a LOOONG time to use up. But you can mix different ones together! I've tried the pink one once already and a teeny bit does indeed go a long way. Absorbed very quickly, felt nice and light. A full bottle goes for $98 but since you can't order it on-line I can't find how much comes in a full size. Let's just guess each of these is valued around $2. (Japan - ?) 

When Last Choice sheet mask: Ahhh...I can't get enough sheet masks! This one is supposed to help with dull uneven skin and provide long lasting moisture. And it's the jelly consistency kind. Love those. I'm in! According to Sephora's website, this stuff is vegan so that's pretty much cruelty free. This is full size and goes for $7. (Korea - CF)

Wei Beauty Five Sacred Grains rapid glow milk: That's a mouthful. This is a toner and essence in one. It is extremely lightweight but when you layer it with other serums and/or oils, it does provide an extra layer of moisture. At least, as far as I can tell from the one time I used it. Full size is $48 so this sample is around $8. (China - CF)

COSRX pimple acne master patch: I got these pimple patches before (from another brand) and they don't do DICK as far as I can tell. But I'll try this one just in case it's any different or better. Basically you take a little patch and put it on a pimple you have. Wear it overnight and remove it in the morning. Easy peasy. This is full size and costs $5. (Korea - CF)

All righty. This month's value is probably somewhere around $40, which is decent. I'm excited to give more of these products a try in the coming winter season!

Ipsy December 2016 Review

Almost end of the year, folks. Where the FUCK did 2016 go? Personally, I'm happy to see it leave.

For those who don't know, Ipsy is a monthly subscription service. For $10 every month you'll get sample (sometimes full) sized beauty, hair, and skin products in a reusable make-up bag. Check them out here: IPSY

I pay for this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones.

This month's theme is Carpe P.M. Have I mentioned how much I LOATHE these fucking useless themes? That said, the bag is kind of adorable. At first I was hesitant but the fuzzy deep fuschia wine colored bag is growing on me! Also the products look pretty fucking sweet.

Mint Pear beauty sponge: I adore makeup sponges. They make foundation look flawless and they're also great for smoothing out concealer or any other cream product. Even nice to tamp down too much highlighter (is there such a thing as too much highlighter??). I haven't used this yet but even dry it feels soft enough. It looks full size which is valued at $20. (CF)

UPDATE: I just used this the other day and it SUUUUUCKS. It does not absorb water like it's supposed to and felt like I beat myself up with rock when I tried to apply foundation. 

Make Beauty moonlight primer: I've never seen a primer start out looking like the black ooze that's usually involved with alien abductees. This product claims to protect the skin against High Energy Visible light and Infra Red light - both which apparently fuck your shit up in the premature aging department. It feels super light and absorbs quickly. Haven't used it as a primer yet so I'll let you know. 1 fl. ounce goes for $55 so this .1-ish ounce should cost around $5.50. (CF) This company also donates 10% of its sales to We See Beauty foundation. Cool.

Tarte Cosmetics Tarteist Glossy Lip Paint in WCW: I love Tarte cosmetics, man. So anytime I get something in one of my bags I'm happy. The formula on this lip paint is smooth, not sticky at all. The color is fucking gorgeous! That said, though, it is streaky (which you can see in the hand swatch) and dark glossy lip products just love those crevices around my lips. I can use a lip liner with this but I'm less likely to reach for this because of those two factors. Full size is $20 so this sample is worth around $3. (CF)

Cake Beauty heavy cream intensive hand repair balm: This stuff smells like straight up vanilla cake. So delicious! And it's a super thick hand cream that works pretty dang well. And now is the time of year for this kind of treatment! Full size costs $22 so this sample should be valued around $6.50. (CF - and Canadian!)

NYX Prismatic eyeshadow in Punkheart: I love NYX and I love their prismatic eyeshadows. These little pans of almost duochrome wonderfulness are super pigmented and blend out like a dream. I have Frostbite already so I'm excited to add this gorgeous plumy purple shade to my collection. This is full size and goes for $6.

Overall looks like this bag is worth somewhere around $41. Not too bad. Yes, I've had higher valued bags but I don't think I've been as happy with all the products like this. Nice way to end the year, Ipsy! And with all cruelty free companies. Hooray! Now PLEASE start making cards with product info already. Maybe that can be your New Year's resolution, m'kay?

Universal Yums November 2016

Yeah, yeah. It's already December. But I don't get this one until later in the month so deal with it. It also gave me some time to eat stuff!

For those who may not know, Universal Yums is a monthly subscription service of FOOD. Each month, for $13 or $25, you'll get a box of delicious snacks from around the world. Check them out here: UNIVERSAL YUMS

(I pay for this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones)

November brings us INDONESIA! Here's a little trivia for you. Answer at the end of the post. Indonesia experiences at least one of these everyday. A. Earthquakes; B. Hurricanes; C. Typhoons; D. Volcanic Eruptions

Tic Tac Spicy Crackers: Haven't tried these yet even though the card assures me they're not THAT spicy. That's more the hubby's thing. But they look fun. Who doesn't like spicy balls?

Superstar Triple Chocolate Wafer: SOOOPER excited for this. Again, we haven't tried it yet but it looks awesome. Chocolate wafers with chocolate filling covered in chocolate. Um, yes please.

Choki Choki Choco Cashew Spread: I just tried this yesterday. Think what a rich chocolate bar feels like when it's mostly melted and that's what you've got in a tube. The cashew adds an awesome flavor with the chocolate. So much better than Nutella (which I know is hazelnut but I'm trying to give you an idea of what this is).

Richeese Rolls: These are like those rolled wafer cookies filled with some kind of sweet creme but in these you get Swiss cheese. Not really a Swiss fan so I might skip this one.

Momogi Keju Cheese Stick: More Swiss cheese? Apparently it's not the taste but the shape of this snack that makes it interesting. Um, that's not really selling me on it. We'll see...

Barley Mint Candy: Very interesting mint candy. The barley gives a surprisingly complementary flavor to the mint. I know it sounds weird but it really works.

Beng Beng Chocolate Bar: Pretty sure this was the first thing we ate from this box. It's very similar to the $100,000 Bar we've got here: chocolate covered caramel and rice krispies except this one didn't seem overly sweet, if that's possible. Yummy!

Roast Corn Cheetos: First I thought, "Cheetos? Really?". But these were not a disappointment. Taste like roasted sweet corn with the familiar crunch of Cheetos. SOOOO GOOOD!

Nano Nano Sweet & Sour Candy: The booklet says it's sweet and sour. The package says sweet and tangy. I don't know what the hell this stuff is. They're little hard candies, individually wrapped, but I have no fucking idea what the flavor it's supposed to be! Not bad but not really good either. The orange is very subtle but the other flavor is...?? I got Cup of Soup. The new friend GLAHW made at Steel City, Jarrod, got cucumber. Don and Steve couldn't really quite place it. MontiLee didn't know what to make of it either. But there are two packages of it in this box so I'll give it another go...maybe...

That's it for November. Stay tuned for what we think will be Germany in December!

Trivia Answer: A. Earthquakes. Indonesia had 897 of them in the past year.

Ipsy November 2016 Review

Holy crap this month snuck up on me! When I got that pink envelope in the mail I was completely unprepared. Usually I feel like I've been waiting for months and months for it to show up...

Anyway, for those who may not know, Ipsy is a monthly subscription service. For $10 you get sample (sometimes full) sized beauty, skin, and hair care products in a reusable make up bag. Check them out here: IPSY

(I purchase this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones)

The theme this month is Rock Starlet, whatever the FUCK that's supposed to mean. OMG so useless! The bag is kinda cute, though. It's made of that neoprene squishy material which is cool. The little star zipper pull is also cute. But the products this month literally made me gasp out loud. Except the first one so let's get that out of the way.

Pur-Lisse blue lotus balancing moisturizer: I got an eye cream from this brand before and it stung like a mother fucker. Even the lip balm I got last month stings a bit. So I'm not happy to put more of their acid on my fucking face. I'll try to be brave but don't hold your breath. Full size is $55 for 1.7 ounces (fuck off) so this .5 ounce sample is probably around $18. (CF)

Eyeko Skinny liquid eyeliner deluxe in Black: I have heard so many great things about this brand so imagine my excitement when I got a sample of their liquid liner! I forgot to take a swatch pic but it's super black and dried very quickly with no smudging. Update: It's not that black on the eyeball and it does break down in the wing part, when I draw one obvi. But it can be layered without crumbling or looking like crap. The 2g full size is $18 so this 1.2 gram is just about $9. (CF)

Absolute New York Matte Stick in Dark Red: I love me some red lipstick! I tried to swatch it on my lips but with my new bite splint it looked kind of goofy (yes, I simply could have removed it but I just put it in and fuck you, it's my mouth!). But the swatch on my hand is GORGEOUS! The angle of the bullet is nice but it's not tapered so application is a bit messy. It dries down to look matte but does not feel drying at all. It's very comfortable. And it smells like candy! Not transfer proof, though, so keep that in mind! It looks full size which is $6. (CF)

Tarte Maracuja Oil: I'm not opposed to face oils and this one has had a lot of hype. With winter coming, I'm going to need extra moisturizing. This product, supposedly, also brightens and smooths skin's texture. It can also be used as a make up remover, hair tamer, and a cuticle oil. Though at $48 a pop, I'll save it for my face. This .7 ml sample costs about $20.

TheBalm Mad Lash mascara: I've never tried this brand's mascara before. Though the eyeliner I just reviewed was crap, I'm still excited for this. Apparently this product delivers great volume. I'll let you know. Full size (8 mls) is $18 so this 2.5 mls sample is around $5.50. (CF)

Overall this bag is valued around $58.50. And everything was from a brand that's cruelty free. Whoop! Good job this month, Ipsy!

Universal Yums October 2016 Review

Again, I missed a month (or possibly two) but I'm back on the Review Wagon with October's Universal Yums box. We just got the November one but since we hadn't opened October yet, I figured I wouldn't skip it! November will be coming soon...

For those who may not know, Universal Yums is a monthly subscription service. For $13 (or $25) you get a box of candy and snacks from a different country each month. Check them out here: UNIVERSAL YUMS

October brings us goodies from RUSSIA! Trivia Time: Which country is still fighting WWII with Russia? 1. USA; 2. GERMANY; 3. JAPAN; 4. ITALY (answer at the bottom of the post)

(I'll go left to right, top to bottom)

3 Korochki Holodets: These aren't true holodets, which are cold meat jellies (ugh) but the flavor of these little crunchy niblets is of the traditional Russian dish. They start off tasting like straight up roast beef! Then they take a weird turn toward "what the fuck" then veer back to regular meat. Then skip off the road again. Very strange yet pleasant and bewildering.

Ruzik Vanilla Corn Puffs: Think Corn Pop cereal but with a texture of a regular cheesy poof. The vanilla coating on these are more powdery than smooth and they taste sweeter than regular corn pops. They are pretty awesome!

3 Korochki Salmon &Cheese: Haven't opened these yet but as they're made by the same people that did the holodets one, I'm thinking they're the same type of snack. I'm a little afraid...

Skazochnly Strawberry Sponge Cake: Saving this one for the hubby because apparently it tastes like strawberry short cake and he loves that stuff! It does have a nice give to it when I squeeze it so I'm hoping it's nice and moist and tastes good!

Blackcurrant Candies: The description says they're chewy but they feel like little rocks. I anticipate the flavor will be awesome, though, so it doesn't really matter!

Mikaello Chocolate Covered Apricot w/Walnut: This is the flattened empty wrapper above. It was DELICIOUS. It does have a bit of a weird aftertaste but I think all apricots are like that! The textures of dried fruit, nuts, and chocolate were wonderful together.

Russkoe Chocolate w/Sunflower Seeds & Cranberry: Haven't tried this one yet but it sounds pretty good. 

Rot Front Chocolate Vanilla Candy: Don't let the 'rot' name fool you. I thought these tasted good - and very unique. It might be the crushed waffles that make the flavor kind of odd but I liked them. The consistency is sort of like the middle of a butterfinger but not so crunchy. Melts nicely in the mouth!

Red October Toffee Krepysh: Not sure if I'll try this one because it feels rather stiff which usually translates to super sticky which translates to missing dental work. And yes, this company name comes from Lenin's 1917 government takeover. Thought they don't make military rations anymore, it's still government owned and makes the most popular candy in Russia. Of course, I'm guessing if you don't agree with that assessment...

That covers everything. We got a lot of stuff this month and I'm excited to try the few things we haven't opened yet. Until next time....

TRIVIA: 3. JAPAN. Neither Russia nor Japan have signed a peace treaty with each other after WWII. They're still fighting over a piece of land called the Kuril Islands in the southern part of Russia/northern part of Japan. 

PDs, MEHs, and GFYs November 2016

Ah...one of my favorite posts to write. Even though it's been a while, I don't have TOO much stuff but yeah, this will be a bit longer than my last few. That's okay. I can just bask in it for a little extra time this month.

I've purchased all of these products with my own money (or they came in a subscription box which I also paid for myself) so all opinions are my honest ones.

PD (PANTY DROPPERS)

Etude House Moisture Cleansing Oil: This stuff was awesome. Smelled great and did a fantastic job at removing all my makeup. (CF but ships to China)

Lunatic Cosmetic Labs: I found this brand through Tori Biohazard on YouTube. It's a small indy company so they don't have a shit ton of products. But they had a booth at the Flashback horror convention in Chicago this year so I thought it would be perfect to try them out. This eye shadow palette (Supernatural) is unbelievable. They are so pigmented and blend beautifully. And can we talk about this packaging? Hello, awesome party of one! (CF)

DIY Mask: I was looking for some homemade masks that would be good for dry skin. As I've said before I experienced some super dry skin this year and I still don't know why. But this mask recipe was awesome. I used it 3-4 times a week for a couple of months and my skin felt fantastic. There's a huge list on this page but I made #13, skipping the cucumber on my eyes part. It's just brown sugar, honey, and milk. That's it!

MEH

Milani Big & Bigger Lashes mascara: The formula on this is okay for volume but nothing stupendous. The brush is terrible. Plastic bristles that poke the shit out of my eye balls. If it had a different wand it would be all right. (CF)

ELF Lengthening & Volumizing mascara: Not volumizing at all but you can get a nice natural look from it. But then why would you buy this if that's what you want? The brush was nice but the tube dried up pretty fast. (CF)

ELF Poreless Face Primer: Though this is a nice silky soft primer, it's not good for oily skin. My face felt greasy all day after using this. I tried it a couple of times with different powders, foundations, and BB creams but the result was the same. If you have dry skin, this might work really well for you.

Hostess Chocodile Twinkies: Imagine my disappointment when these really tasted nothing like chocolate covered Twinkies. They basically taste like King Dons but vanilla. And stale. I could have gotten an older box (what'd you call me?) so I'd be willing to try them again.

GFY (GO FUCK YOURSELF)

Yes to Coconut Makeup Wipes: Dry as a popcorn fart and burned like fucking acid. (CF)

Yes to Cucumbers Calming Mask: Christ all mighty this thing burned like a mother fucker. Where's the fucking calm in that, ass holes? I had to take it off after about 2 minutes. What the fuck is this "Yes To..." brand doing with it's life?? (CF)

Juice Beauty Green Apple Brightening Moisturizer with SPF15: Way too thick so it never felt like it fully absorbed. It also broke me out. I know this is Gwyneth Paltrow's brand and all and everyone just looooves her but fuck that shit. Other products she's made are good but this stuff sucks ass. (CF)

NYX Angel Veil Skin Perfecting Face Primer: You've seen me rave on NYX stuff before but I have no idea why people love this crap. It absolutely accentuates dryness on the skin. It also balls up and/or flakes off when putting make up over it. Um...that kind of defeats the purpose, don't you think? Try harder next time. (CF)

The Balm Mr. Write Now (Scott) Eyeliner: This eyeliner is so fucking dry! It totally crumbles when I try to put it on. And you'd think my oily lids might help it out a bit. Noooope. For the price point on this, I expected better, especially since other products I own from this brand are pretty awesome. (CF)

Essence Waterproof Gel Eyeliner: TERRIBLE! The product is way too dry and if you try to layer it, it crumbles everywhere. It doesn't stay, or apply evenly, on the tight or water line. Um, isn't it supposed to be waterproof? Geez. (CF)

Aveeno Absolutely Ageless Restorative Night Cream: Though is smells okay this crap broke me out something terrible. I couldn't even finish up the tiny sample tube. Ugh. (NCF)

Too Faced Lip Injection Extreme Plumping Gloss: HOLY FUCKING ASS CRACKERS. This shit contains capsicum - you know, that genus of flowering plants called peppers that contain capsaicin which causes a BURNING SENSATION. Apparently beauty companies think this is an awesome ingredient to plump the lips and make them appear fuller. WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? This shit burned so bad even AFTER I took it off. It left a red irritated ring around the line of my lips like I just gave a blow job to The Human Torch. $28 to feel like I've poured lighter fluid on my face then set it aflame?? FUCK YOU, TOO FACED. FUCK YOU RIGHT IN THE EAR! (CF)

I love to end on a good rant.

That's it for 2016. I'll be back in a couple of months for another installment!

3B October 2016 Review

Even though I got this a few weeks ago, I haven't had time to try any of the products. So this post will basically just tell you what I got. For those who don't know, 3B is a monthly subscription service. For $15 (they recently raised their price on the month to month option - goes down to $12 if you sign up for the whole year at once) you get 4-5 sample, sometimes full-sized, Asian beauty, hair, and skin care products. They now have a store front, too. Check them out here: 3B

I purchase this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones.

Todak Todak Pack - Pore Care: I got a different kind in another 3B bag but like I said in my Morgue Drawer post, I didn't really get full use of it. I hope to with this one, especially since my pores are the size of Nebraska. Full size and costs $4. (CF)

Neogence Hyaluronic Acid Hydrating Lotion: I'm all about face lotions, man. I love trying new ones, especially the hydrating ones. Just because I have oily skin does NOT mean it's hydrated. And now with winter coming, this will be (I hope) very useful. 180mls is $20 so this 30mls sample should run around $6.50. (?)

Lador Damage Protector Acid Shampoo: Right now I don't have dry and damaged hair. But since I plan to get it mostly all cut off, I'll probably be styling it more often. This shampoo contains argan oil that helps to protect hair against heat damage. Hmmm...This is full size and runs $10. (?)

When 10:00pm Sheet Mask: You all know how much I love me some sheets masks. Seems like this might have that gel or jelly texture that I've used before and is awesome. The people at 3B tested this and claimed their skin felt great the next morning. Challenge Accepted! This is full size and costs $7. (?)

Etude House Moistfull Collagen Deep Cream: Again, I'm all about the moisturizer. This thick lotion seems like it will be perfect as a night cream as we head into winter - not heavy or greasy. I seem to have a lot of luck with EH products so fingers crossed. Full sized 75ml costs $20 so this 10ml sample runs around $2.50 or so. (CF but ships to China)

Over all looks like this bag is worth about $30. Not too bad considering I will probably get good use from everything!

Morgue Drawer November 2016

Yeah...so much for that every couple of months idea. I should have known better. I'll try harder for 2017. In the meantime, here is my final Morgue Drawer for 2016.

All products have been purchased with my own money (or came in a subscription service I purchase myself) so all opinions are my honest ones.

TELL ME I'M PRETTY

ELF Makeup Wipes: I like these to clean up any swatches I do for picture/testing purposes. They sting my face and eyes too much. At $3, I don't feel bad when they're gone. I will continue to repurchase. (CF)

ELF Makeup Setting Spray: I do like this for my skin. Not everyone agrees it does anything but it seems to work for me. The nozzle can get a little wonky so that pisses me off. I've since purchased a different brand so we'll see how that goes. (CF)

ELF Mineral Infused mascara: Decent product that gets good length (oh boy). You can get a very soft natural look with this. (CF) 

RiRe Mascara: You can get good length with this and so-so volume. The brush is very odd, though. Looks like a old-fashioned toilet brush. (?)

Covergirl Supersizer masacara (Star Wars edition): I got this right after I decided to go cruelty free. So fucking sue me, I was weak. It had Darth Vadar on it, okay? (SW no longer available so the link is to the regular packaging) Fantastic mascara. Great job at lengthening and separating lashes. (NCF)

L'Oreal Invisible Lift CC concealer: Very thin formula so it's not great with coverage. Very brightening though. (NCF)

ALL CLEAN AND SHIT

Bath & Body Works Jasmine Vanilla shower gel: Yes, I still buy this. I knew I would (and I've stated I probably would) because I've never smelled anything like it anywhere else. Hopefully BBW will get their shit together and stop selling to China someday (CF except for the China thing)

Tom's of Maine sensitive toothpaste: I love this stuff. It's the only sensitive toothpaste that does NOT cause the flesh of my cheeks to peel off like every other kind does. I know that's gross but that's what happens to me. (CF)

Method Foaming Soaps: I have discovered a replacement for the BBW foaming hand soaps. Though the lavender scent is waaaaay too strong and the Sea Minerals scent is meh, the Lemon Mint and Sweet Water are awesome. (CF)

Clear Scalp and Hair Therapy shampoo/conditioner: I got these in a Walmart or Target box a long time ago. They're okay. Smell nice. Good for traveling but can't say they did much else. (NCF)

I WANT TO CLEAN AND MOISTURIZE YOU ALL OVER

Soap and Glory Vitamin C face wash: My skin loved this face wash. My nose...not so much. The smell is very strong, like Ivory soap strong. It does have some scrubby beads in it but not really enough to do more than get caught in your mouth. Not sure I'll ever purchase again. (CF)

Soap and Glory Body Buttercream in Sugar Crush: The smell of this is amazing! I wish it had a stronger lime scent but it's still pretty fucking good. Also it moisturizes the skin so well that it'll stay soft and smooth until the next time you shower (sometimes I skip a day and my skin retains moisture the whole time). I highly recommend it. (CF)

Burt's Bees Sensitive face cleanser: I used this in the morning and  the S&G one at night. Loved this cream cleanser. Not drying at all. Did a great job. (CF)

CeraVe AM face moisturizer: This is formulated for dry skin. I don't normally have that problem but I did for a few months this year and I don't know why. I also wanted to try it because it's CF. This stuff was great. Didn't need to use a ton of it at one time, either, so this small bottle lasted a long time. Plus it's got SPF30. (CF)

Mario Badescu facial spray: I've been purchasing this for a while now. I will continue repurchasing. I like to use this right before my moisturizer. Lovely smell of roses but not too overpowering. (CF)

Mario Badescu eye creams: I got two samples with an Ulta order: Glycolic eye cream and Ceramide eye gel. Two different formulas but they both had the same results - they never fully absorbed into my skin so I don't feel they did jack shit. If you're super dry under your eyes, you might enjoy this. I am not so I'll stick to the regular hylauronic eye cream I use now. (CF)

UNT Aqua Nettoyant hydrating cleanser: This was great. Not drying, cleaned my skin well. Tastes terrible though (I know you're not supposed to eat it but I can't keep everything out of my mouth all of the...dammit) (owned by Acacia which is CF)

Botanic Farm Grain ferment cleansing sherbet: Very cool product. It has a thicker than Vaseline texture, not super greasy or oily, but great at removing all makeup. Then you wash with your regular cleanser aftereward. Loved this. Probably the best product I've tried at removing ALL makeup. (?)

Juice Beauty Green Apple Peel blemish clearing: This thin jelly-like product was very strange. Not sure if it cleaned my skin but the warm tingly sensation tells me it might have peeled a layer of dead cells off my face. My skin felt really nice after each use. (CF)

It's Skin face pack: This was a little thicker than the Juice Beauty product. Cool texture, made my skin feel nice. But I didn't get 2-3 uses out of it because, even though I taped it closed, it still dried up a bit and became gummy. I just got something similar in my latest 3B bag so maybe I'll get a better idea this time. (CF)

Etude House cleansing oil (not pictured here - it's in my PDMEHGFY post): I loved this stuff. Great at breaking down makeup and smelled great. Still need to use your regular face wash after but it was worth the extra step (just like the cleansing sherbet). (NCF)

TOO BAD HARVEY DENT DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT THESE

I'm Sorry For My Skin pore care and revitalizing sheet masks: These were cool. The essence on these masks is very jelly-like. The mask material is super soft and fit well. My skin felt great after each of these. (found 1 blog with CF claims)

Montagne Jeunesse black seaweed peel mask: I love this stuff. It's intimidating, I admit. And the smell can be off-putting. But I love this one more than most of the others I've tried of this brand. (CF)

Sally's Box Secret Garden ampoule masks: Loved these. You put the extra serum on first. Before it's fully absorbed, you put the serum saturated sheet mask on. Extremely moisturizing, soft cotton mask. My skin felt great after each of these. (?)

Wish Formula centella honey mask: Very soft and fit well. Extra saturated but my skin didn't feel moist when I took it off so I don't think it did much. (?)

Wish Formula Bat eye mask: Loved this. The cloth was soft and saturated and I felt like it moisturized under my eyes (unlike the previous mask). (?)

Tosowoong Sea Cucumber mask: The mask was soft and not overly saturated. Skin felt nice afterwards (NCF)

Bon Vivant masks, chamomile/greet tea and rose: These masks fit very well over my features. The chamomile and tea tree felt a little better than the rose. The rose stung a little but that was just the first one I used. The rose ones are also super fragile (that plastic mesh in the picture is what the mask was wrapped over but it didn't help a couple of them keep their shape - a few have fallen apart on me). (?)

Tony Moly lip patch: very amusing patch as it covered my whole chin! But it totally worked. My lips felt very soft, as did all the other skin this patch covered. (NCF)

Holy shit that's all. Hopefully I won't go 4 months next time!

Ipsy October 2016 Review

Well...shit. September got away from me for a bit. Busy season helping the hubby at work and then my Aunt died. So I haven't really been up to reviewing much lately. But I'm gonna get back in the swing of things here. Expect a GIANT Morgue Drawer soon but for now...Ipsy!

For those who may not know, Ipsy is a monthly subscription service where for $10, you get 4-5 sample (sometimes full) sized beauty, skin, and hair products to try out. Check out the service here: IPSY. (I purchase this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones)

This month's theme is Black Magic because October. Fucking lame. Just so much wrong with that damn card but I don't want to go off on a rant about witchcraft or the general negative perception of it. Let's just ream Ipsy for the lack of usefulness and being the only subscription service with no product info/pricing.

But the bag is adorable this month. Though I prefer my 'scary' elements actually scary, when they're cute like this I can forgive them. I mean...just look at it. That zipper pull is adorable!

Anyway, let's get to the products, shall we?

Makeup Forever HD Invisible Cover Foundation: (I'm guessing I got the lightest shade - Ivory). I've heard so much about this product but it's pretty expensive and MFU is not cruelty free. However, I've swatched the foundation and it looks like a pretty dang good match. The formula is a nice light texture and I think it would look very natural on the skin (I'll have to let you know). Claims you don't even have to set it with a powder. That's kind of nice. One less step and all. They also carry a SHIT ton of shades. One ounce is $43 so this almost .2 ounce sample probably runs around $8. (NCF)

NYX Vivid Brights Liquid Eyeliner (Vivid Gunmetal): I don't see this color listed on the NYX website but I'm pretty sure it's the same price and size as they're regular vivid brights. Good pigmentation, glides on very smooth. Haven't tested the lasting power but I'm excited to! These go for $7. (CF)

Tre'Stique Matte Lip Crayon (Belize Bordeaux): I've received another color of this exact product before. While it initially feels very comfortable and doesn't dry down to painful levels, this color particularly goes on a bit patchy and it wears off unevenly. If you try to build it up, it doesn't really work very well and just slides around. The demo on their site shows the crayon being topped with a balm or gloss so I'll try that and see how it goes. There is no option on the site for JUST the crayon (it's paired with a balm/gloss for $28) so I'll just cut that in half and say this sample is $14. (CF- website states they're cruelty free but nothing about their suppliers or third party manufacturers).

Left to Right: Tre'Stique lip crayon; NYX Vivid Brights eyeliner; Makeup Forever foundation

Pur-lisse Daily Lip Nourisher: I've gotten an eye cream from this brand before and it stung like a mother fucker so I immediately threw it on the ground, stomped on it, set it on fire, then threw it away. This lip balm gives a little tingle but I don't think it's supposed to. The only thing I can think of is that the orange peel oil might be doing that but it's the last ingredient so I don't know for sure. The texture of this stuff is pretty cool - like the Malin and Goetz balm. Gel- like and clear, goes on smooth and sticks around for a while (though not as well as the M&G). Full size at .38 ounces is $16 so this .15 ounce is around $6.50 (CF and vegan, according to their website - no other CF sites list anything about this company)

Lottie London Perfectly Precise eye shadow brush: Never heard of this brand before; there's no website linked at Ipsy; can't find any info other than a web page talking about a contest and random articles. The brush is super soft but it never looks like the bristles pick up enough product until you grind it into your shadows. Have to play with it a bit more to be sure if it'll work well in the long run. Full sized and costs $15. (?)

Looks like the overall value of this bag is about $50. Not too shabby!

ColourPop Brand Review

I've been saying I want to do a one brand review on a couple of makeup companies I've been using and loving. FINALLY got all the swatches and pictures done so I can share my thoughts in a post. This post is going to be all about ColourPop Cosmetics which, BONUS, is a cruelty free brands! This is not sponsored by ColourPop; they didn't send me anything; I purchased all the products I talk about with my own money over the past (holy crap it's only been one) year.

You might want to grab some coffee and a snack for this...

In their FAQs they say spelling color without the 'u' is so basic. That tickles me.

From what I understand, CP was started a few years ago by a couple of women in California. They wanted to make their own products with good ingredients, a unique formula, and affordable for pretty much anyone. Though they are considered an 'indie' brand, they exploded onto the scene a couple of years ago. I don't know who but I think it was some 'famous' YouTuber who reviewed ColourPop and the brand took off from there.

CP makes eye, cheek, and lip products and nothing is over $8 (I'm not including sets, obviously). The lippies come in all sorts of finishes and formats and the powder products are some of the most unique I've ever felt in my life. I can only describe the feel as a firm custard covered with a layer of silk. They have the give of a creme product but they go on dry like a powder. I don't know how else to describe them. You have to feel them for yourselves! They are best applied with the finger, for the highest color payoff, but can be blended or applied with a brush.

This is an eye shadow in the color Flower Shop. All the powder products come in individual pots and are stamped with the same quilted pattern.

OMG I went to confirm the prices and I started shopping. And I bought more lip stuff but for the sake of brevity (TOO LATE) I won't include them in this post, though they are pretty and awesome. Dammit, Colourpop!

Now that I've compiled my collection into swatch pics, I'm able to share my thoughts with you. Hopefully I'll inspire a few of you to go try their products! Check them out: COLOURPOP

Let's start with the eyes and work our way down, shall we? *rowr*

I own six eye shadows from CP. To most make up folk, that's paltry. But because they come in individual containers, they're a bit of bitch to store so I don't mind having a smaller collection compared to some. All eye shadows are $5 each.

Swatches of each shadow. From bottom to top we have:

Puppy Love - soft light peach gold, a portion of the sales of this shadow went to an animal rescue!

LaLa - super pigmented bronze

Flower Shop - gorgeous green shade that makes me feel like a mermaid, less pigmented than the rest but can be built up

Dare - one of my favorite purple shades with hot pink and violet glitter

Party Time - my first matte shade from CP, it looks like a grey taupe mauve blend, so different from anything else I have

Roulette - soooper pigmented matte black, seriously be careful with this one.

I only own three gel liners and one creme liner pencil. From bottom to top they are:

Stopmer - this is my favorite, it's much creamier and easier to work with than the other two

Workout - it's hard to tell but this is a deep dark forest green

Swerve - straight up black. The darker shades are much drier and more difficult. But all of them set like a mother fucker when they dry down completely - which is super fast.

The top swatch is the gel pencil in Timber. Very smooth, creamy, and pigmented. Easy to apply BUT BE CAREFUL! It will break if you press too hard.

The eye liner pencils are $5 each and the gel liner pots are $6.

This is the only powder product that ever arrived broken. But I just pressed it back down and it's mostly fine. Still crumbly but the product itself is still great.

I actually bought two highlighters but I got rid of the gold one, Wisp (I think), because it was just a little too glittery. This one, Monster, has a gorgeous pink undertone. It is sparkly but not stripper sparkly, you know? (this is the bottom swatch in the blush swatch pic below) All highlighters and blushes cost $8 each.

I've got three blushes from CP. They are all soft beautiful colors that are pigmented but not straight up heavy from the first swipe. So you can build them up or keep them more sheer. I've actually already hit pan on the purple one! From bottom to top (excluding the highlighter): Birthday Suit, Cheerio, and Rain.

This is funny for two reasons: 1)the name of the lippy that happened to be facing me when I took the pic; 2)I have so many more lip products from them now I had to use a bigger jar.

And now for the lips. I'm addicted to the ColourPop lippy. A few of them have disappointed but overall, they are some of my favorite lip products ever. All of the lipsticks are $5.

From top to bottom: Lumiere, Bound 1, Bound 2, Choker, She Bad - Nudes/Neutrals

Switching things up a bit, I'm going to talk about each of the colors from top to bottom. I will also include lip swatches after each one. 

Lumiere was the first lippy I ever purchased from CP. It's a matte formula but doesn't look or feel dry. If you blot it with a tissue that will help but it's definitely not transfer proof and you might need a lip liner to go with it.

I accidentally bought this color twice: Bound. This is a Glossy finish and there is a slight color difference between the two. Not sure if you can tell from the pictures but the OG Bound (first pic) is a bit deeper, has a more bluish undertone than the new Bound, which is more of a baby pink. Both are pretty though!

Choker has become one of my favorite nudes. With a Creme finish, this color glides on so easily and is extremely comfortable to wear. It's not too warm or too cool for my skin tone and I don't look like a corpse when I wear it. Bonus!

This last one in the 'nude' category is She Bad, one of ColourPop's new Matte X finishes. While this formula is awesome - it's super soft with a powder like finish - the lipstick came loose during shipping so it keeps falling out of the tube. Also, I don't particularly like the shade on me. It looks yellow/orange at first application but it does become a little more pink as it dries. Not sure I'll keep this one.

Next up are the reds:

From top to bottom: Creature, Poison, TGIF, Out of Sync

Creature is one of the original matte formulas. I love this color but it feels more drying than the others in the same formula and it is a bit patchy. So I don't really reach for this that often though red is my favorite color.

Another original matte lippy is Poison. It also feels really dry and it sets almost immediately. Again, not sure if I'll keep it because I just don't reach for it though the color is gorgeous.

Yep, another matte - TGIF. This is more of a cherry red shade but this one is a bit more comfortable to wear.

Last but not least is Out of Sync, a gorgeous fuscia shade. Not something I normally wear but the blue undertone is to die for! And this is also a matte finish.

The next set of lippies don't really fit into any color category, except the two that are purple/pink shades. I've become addicted to the odd colors (grey, blue, green) and so many companies now are offering them now. Whoop!

Top to Bottom: Bull Chic, Climax, Too Sexy, Boogie, Wet (wow - so much sexy talky...)

The last of the original matte formula is Bull Chic. It is MUCH creamier than the rest and very easy to apply but...it's not as opaque so you'll need to blot and reapply to build it up. Even then it's not THAT great but right now it's my only black lipstick so it'll do, pig. It'll do.

One of my new favorites is Climax. It's the reformulated matte (so it's a Matte X). It's a little patchy when applied. And don't rub your lips together too much before it sets! It'll slide all over the fucking place and look majorly patchy. But the color...HOLY BALLS it's gorgeous! A royal blue with violet. So beautiful.

I'm Too Sexy for my lips...This satin finish lipstick is creamy, easy to apply, and is a beautiful violet fuchsia with a blue shift. It's not on the website anymore, though, so it may be discontinued.

I always confuse Boogie with Too Sexy. Both have that fuchsia/blue pink tone but Boogie is a little darker AND has blue sparkles! The Satin Luxe finish is a little drier than the satin so it almost feels like a matte. Super pigmented and it definitely stains the lips so even when it wears off, you'll still have some color left behind!

Another favorite, because it's so different, is Wet, a pearlized finish lippy that they describe as a taupe gunmetal color. It goes on creamy so I got the matching lip liner to go with it since I'm pretty sure I couldn't find anything to match elsewhere. It can be a bit patchy but I don't care. It's not that noticeable on me.

The final lippies, and review segment, are devoted to the Lip Satins. These come in glass (or thick plastic) tubes and are $6 each.

Top to bottom: Lost, So Wavy, Petit Four, Marshmallow

The Lip Satins are a fantastic formula. Incredible lasting time and very comfortable. They remain a bit tacky so they're not quite transfer proof. They dry enough to look matte, though they aren't. Two of the ones I have have a drier mousse like texture and the others are very thin - so they get all over your teeth when you first put them on! I use a lip liner with all of these but CP only sells matching liners for two (I included them in the swatches). All CP lip liners are creamy and apply smoothly. If you fill in your lips with them they could be used on their own!

Lost is a gorgeous red. This is one of the thinner formulas so make sure to check your teeth!

So Wavy is the most awesome purple-blue I've ever seen. I think it's the ONLY one I've ever seen. This is the other one with a thin consistency so check those teeth! The purple liners I have, or were suggested by CP, have too much red in them. But I just got a blue liner from NYX that I hope will work!

Petit Four is a dark grey but I see some greenish undertones to it, at least on me. It's much thicker than the last two so it's not as messy! I also got the matching liner because it's such an unusual color.

Last, but definitely not least, is my favorite lip satin in Marshmallow. I don't know when purples starting calling to me but this is an awesome grey lavender color. A more dry moussey texture but I still use a liner.

Okay. That is it. WHEW! I hope some of you will go check out the ColourPop website and try a few of these products for yourselves. Trust me, it'll be worth it!

NOTE: The new lippies I got are new Ultra Glossy Lip line. I haven't worn them a lot yet, except the nude one, so I can't speak as to their lasting power. But they feel nice, not too sticky, and pretty pigmented for glosses. I had to include a couple of pics below just so you can get an idea of what they look like!

L to R: (metallic finish) Crystal Ball, Wolfie, Tight Fit; (creme) Fluff; (sheer) Fairy Floss

You can see the metallic finish lippies (bottom three) are bit more streaky than the others.

Ipsy August 2016 Review

For those who may not know, Ipsy is a monthly subscription service. For $10 each month, you will receive a reusable bag with 4-5 sample (sometimes full) sized beauty, skin, and hair products. Check them out for yourselves here: IPSY

(I purchase this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones)

This month's theme is something like Sugar Highness or some bullshit like that. I wish they'd use the card insert for more helpful information, like the products, their uses, and their costs, instead of some random theme that means absolutely nothing to anyone.

I do love this month's bag. The pastel colors are beautiful and the material of it feels nice and sturdy. KEEPER! The products are pretty cool, too.

Organic Surge Perfecting Face Polish: This is one of those exfoliators that has little grains of ground olive stone (I assume they mean the pit) to scrub away dead skin and impurities but not so much as to feel like you're using sandpaper on your face. There are also lots of good oils mixed in to help moisturize. I only put this on the back of my hand but I like the feel of it and I can really smell the lemon. Full size at 2.5 oz is $9.15 so this 1 ounce sample should go around $3.5 (CF)

IT Cosmetics No-Tug Waterproof Gel Liner: (swatch shown in picture below) IT is one of those high end brands that I'm pretty much too cheap to buy on my own (though I admit to spending $19 on a liquid eyeliner by Kat VonD and it was worth every penny). So I love that I got a sample size of their eyeliner. I've worn it a couple of times and I have to say this liner is the only one that has stayed in my waterline (or at least the edge of it) longer than any other I've tried. It stays put on the eye skin, too (lid and lower lash line). It still melts in the outer corners because my eyes just LOVE to fuck up any makeup I put on them. Full size is .017 oz for $22. This .012 sample size is about $15.50! (CF)

Sally's Box Secret Garden Masks: Aside from the sexual innuendo going on that name, I love getting face masks. Haven't tried either yet but my skin has been dry lately so these moisturizing masks will be great, I'm sure! The extra ampoule in the corner of each one provides even more moisture! Yaassss..... They're on sale right now but these full sized products normally go for $6 each. (?)

Lord and Berry Matte Lip Crayon: I got a liner from this brand before and didn't particularly care for the warm brown shade. I don't gravitate to warms colors but this is a pretty warm pink. It does look matte but it doesn't feel super dry. Lasts well, too. Full size is $20 so I'm guessing this sample is maybe half the size (can't find any product details on the L&B website) so let's say this is $10. (NCF)

Jelly Pong Pong Neapolitan Palette: And we have another trio of gold/bronze/peach tones. Hooray... Yes, I'm being a smart ass. However, these eye shadows are buttery, pigmented, and gorgeous and can be used wet or dry. I think I like the tones on these three better than the other 4-5 I've received. The only problem, for me, is there's no matte shade. I love the shininess of them but it's nice to mix in other finishes to complete a look. Otherwise, I'm in love. Full size, on the website, is .11 ounces and this 'sample' is .1 ounce. So I'm calling it full size and worth $18. (CF)

Looks to me this whole bag is worth about $59. SCORE! Aside from the Lord and Berry lip crayon (it's...okay), I love everything else, even the bag! Can't wait to see what they do next month.

3B July 2016 Review

For those who don't know, 3B is a monthly beauty subscription service. For $13 you receive 4-5 sample (sometimes full) sized products of Asian beauty, hair, and skin care. Check them out here: 3B

I purchase this service with my own money and all opinions are my honest ones. If I know which brands are cruelty free, or not, I will indicate it.

Unt Aqua Nettoyant Cleanser: This is from Taiwan and is a hydrating cleanser. I have to say it does make my skin feel clean without drying it out so I look like Mrs. Ida Lowry from the film, Brazil. Doesn't have much of a scent but no matter what I do, this soap finds its way into my mouth and it tastes terrible! But otherwise it's a good cleanser. Full size is only $12 (3.5 oz) so I can't imagine this baby sample could be worth more than a buck or so. (CF. Their parent company, Acacia, is cruelty free)

3W Clinic Sunblock Cream: I've used this a couple times and it hasn't fucked up my skin (on my face, I mean). Smells lightly of sunscreen but not overpowering. It absorbs quickly so you kind of have to use a lot at once or put on multiple layers but it works and that's what matters! This is full size and runs about $8. (?)

Etude House Pink Vital Water Facial Emulsion: I love the way this stuff feels. Very light moisturizer that absorbs quickly. I wouldn't recommend it for dry skin because it is so light but it would be perfect for anyone who has oily skin or just needs a little moisture. The bottle is so cute, too. Full size (3 oz) costs $17.50 so again, I can't imagine this baby sample would be worth more than a few bucks. (NCF)

Tony Moly Lip Patch: I've seen some YouTubers in Korea test this thing out and it looked hilarious. Despite the package expiration date being May of 2016 (what the hell, 3B?) my lips and everything else this patch touched felt super soft after I used it. This is full size and costs around $10. (NCF)

This bag is probably worth somewhere between $20-$25 which, in my experience with this service so far, is on the low end. But all the products are good so it all works out!